🧋
Added 2025-04-28 17:22:58 +0000 UTCHi, this is Daniel, Kansas’s local assistant. She’s conscripted me to write this review because she is piloting her dead animal stink bomb that she calls a “car”
I am talking to you today, not as a man, but as the living word, and mouthpiece of Kansas Bowling. From this point forward my word is law, as decreed by her holiness, Kansas Bowling.
We have procured for ourselves the most peculiar beverage, available only in the underbelly of the most seedy gene editing districts in Las Vegas.
They call it Bespoke Optimized Bio-Augmentation or “BOBA” for short.
It is flavored using nothing from nature, so it is completely environmentally friendly.
Within this liquid collation are spheres made from the fallopian tubes of genetically engineered creatures that most closely resemble a frog.
Within those spheres are tons of biological nanobots that perform the CRISPR based modifications for the first phase of the transmogrification.
30 minutes have passed since we have consumed this ‘BOBA’ and I am now beginning to feel my genome reorganization, Kansas appears to be as well.
We will report back as the changes take hold.
Comments
P.S. I am so sorry to hear about your lives turning into a body horror film, but it sounds like this was done willingly. Please keep posting in Kansas' place, at least until your eventual transformation makes it impossible for you to use your digits.
Kale Thompson
2025-04-28 20:46:55 +0000 UTCHello Daniel, please pass this message on to Kansas. "You went to Daddy Donut! That's where I wanted you to go when you showed up to that one boba shop that was closed but should have been open. Instead you went somewhere else, but I am glad to see that you have now paid a visit, and all is right with the world. Daddy Donut 4ever."
Kale Thompson
2025-04-28 19:50:47 +0000 UTC
