Borrowed Time - Chapter 2, part 4

A continued collaboration between myself, and my dear friend Firefox!

Written by Firefox

Illustrated by Me

Loretta finds some solace in the cafeteria, and perhaps a new friend.

- - -

Her friends were nowhere to be seen when she emerged from the changing stall, still pulling up on the zipper of her hoodie. On cue, her phone buzzed in her pocket.

(Went to FYE) Genevieve had texted.

It was at this point Loretta realized that she hadn't seen Kyle since the mall entrance. If he wasn't at the Hot Topic or the Gamestop, it made sense that he would be at the FYE. She carefully made her way out of the store and started the long waddle back to the food court.

Resting was no longer optional as she passed the first few rows of sparsely occupied tables. She stopped at the first vacant table she could find, dragging out the seat and lowering her wide backside into the metal chair. It creaked under her weight as she settled, and every time she shifted in an effort to get comfortable. Her eyes darted anxiously moments later, noting several staring bystanders amongst her surroundings. Their gazes never lingered, and they always looked away when they realized she had noticed, but she never failed to draw that sense of morbid curiosity out of people when she ventured out of her home.

Loretta sighed quietly, thankful at least for the way the ache in her feet, ankles, and knees was quickly fading. Her view drifted slowly downward until she could see her talons and the tips of her scaly toes, made possible only by outstretching her legs while seated. The rest was obscured by the heaving curve of her middle. She began to wonder if it would be easier to buy some kind of scooter to haul herself around, instead of suffering this every time she made the effort to walk.

The sound of shouting made her flinch. She looked up, expecting to see an argument. On the far side of the food court, she saw three women huddled together. A tiger, a fox, and a rat. The fox appeared to be shushing the tiger, who stood with her meaty arms raised triumphantly. Loretta quickly realized that these were the same three women she had rode with in the elevator.They leaned closer together and each began shaking a fist, saying something in unison. The rat and the tiger simultaneously made some kind of gesture with their hands, while the fox made another. This time, the fox raised her gesturing hand and cocked her hips, tail swishing excitedly. It finally dawned on Loretta that they were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Loretta raised a brow, but continued to watch them play until the fox broke away from the group, jumping around in a circle. Apparently, she had won the game. The tiger and rat exchanged looks, laughing, and the fox quickly calmed herself, brushing her hair out of her face as she looked between them. They all seated themselves, and the fox began to gesture around the room, her companions occasionally nodding or speaking.

She looked down at her feet again, wiggling her toes, making her claws click against the tile. With the soreness mostly gone, she stretched her legs one last time and then slowly heaved herself up out of the chair. It was necessary to take a few small, swaying steps to steady herself before stepping back into a slow waddle.

The FYE stood at the far end of the food court, its windows plastered over with promotional posters. As expected, she spotted her friends hovering between the anime and game sections, placed in convenient proximity to one another. The isles in this store were spaced widely apart, making navigation much easier for Loretta, but just as soon as she came near to her friends, Chloe and Jake began to very loudly bicker. She lacked context, but it was clear that Jake had heard enough. He tossed the case he had been holding back onto the shelf and stormed off. Genevieve shot Chloe a disapproving look and swiftly followed. Chloe shrugged dismissively and trailed after them, trying to keep the argument going as she went. Only Kyle remained, idly looking over the cover of a box set.

Loretta felt her heart flutter and her mouth go dry as she cautiously shuffled up beside him. Kyle glanced over at her, then went back to examining the cover.

"Have you seen this one?" he asked.

Loretta took a closer look. A blood spattered and scantily clad, potentially underaged vixen with heterochromia posed provocatively on a mech made entirely out of katanas. Scattered all around were bodies in various degrees of dismemberment.

She cringed reflexively. "Um… no, I… I only saw the previews."

Kyle chuckled. "It's totally badass. There's this part where she crushes a demoness's head with her thighs, then pulls out her spine and uses it as a whip."

She forced herself to smile, nodding. "Well, if you like it, I'm sure it's great." She paused for a heartbeat. "Maybe we could watch it together sometime?"

"Hmm? Yeah, alright." He turned the box set over and added, "Like a date, right?"

Loretta froze, her feathers ruffling as her tail fanned out. "Uh… I guess?" She tried to shrink into her hoodie, cheeks squinting her eyes as they were forced up by her shoulders. "Is that um… is that okay with you?"

Kyle nodded, looking up at her. "Yeah, you're pretty cool." He tucked the box set under one arm, smirking. "My parents are gonna be out of town next week, too, so we can do whatever."

"Whatever like—" Loretta swallowed, tail feathers flicking involuntarily. "Like… you know."

"Sure," Kyle purred, his teeth showing as he grinned.

Loretta wanted to jump and shout and squeal with joy, but the most she could manage was a whispered, "Okay."

His ear flicked and he looked away as Chloe started loudly whining in the next isle. His grin had faded when he met Loretta's gaze again. "But don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

Loretta blinked, feeling a hiccup in her excitement. "O-oh. Um… alright. Why not?"

"I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me," Kyle said, shrugging.

"The wrong— But I—" Loretta furrowed her brow around her wide eyes, hands fidgeting with the bottom of her hoodie as she tried to find the words. "You just said you thought I was cool."

Kyle frowned. "Well yeah, but you're reallyfat." He shrugged again. "We can hang out and fuck or whatever but I don't want people thinking I'm desperate or some kind of chubby-chaser."

Loretta felt absolutely crushed. She nodded anyway as she looked down at the floor. "Okay."

"Cool," Kyle said, stepping past her and walking away.

She tried to say "Okay" again but the words just wouldn't form. Standing there, trembling fists clenching at her sides, she felt conflicted, humiliated, and defeated all at once. This was it. She was going to get exactly what she had wanted so badly for so long, but at the same time, it was nothing like she had imagined it. There was no happiness or excitement, just emptiness and shame.

"Lorrie," she heard Genevieve say from behind her. "Are you alright?"

Loretta didn't turn or look back. "I'm fine," she lied. "I just need to sit down."

Genevieve said something else as Loretta walked away, but she wasn't listening anymore. She didn't care about anything but filling the agonizing hole inside her.

The closest fast food option was a Taco Bell. Her hands continued to tremble as she shuffled up to the counter to place her order, the cashier giving her a vacant stare as he rung up a grocery list of cheap, greasy faux-Mexican. Employees and the customers next in line gave her dirty looks as the whole operation slowed to a crawl to assemble her feast. Somewhere in the background, someone was muttering about how disgusting she was for letting herself get so fat. None of it mattered. As soon as her order was ready she grabbed the tray, piled high with burritos, a sweating jug of soda clutched against her sweat dampened chest. She sat as far away from everyone else as she possibly could.

All the commotion of the food court became distant and quiet as she neared the row of window seats overlooking the main entrance. Outside, Loretta could see a few snowflakes drifting lazily through the air, a plow truck pacing through the rows of parked cars.

She roughly dropped her wide backside into an empty chair and let the tray hit the table with a heavy clack. Ice and soda were still sloshing in the super-sized cup as she tore away the wrapper from a humongous burrito stuffed with low grade beef and fake cheese. She took an enormous bite, then another and another, her cheeks bulging before she even attempted to chew. Her eyes blurred and stung, and she continued to eat. She swallowed as soon as she had chewed enough to allow it, and then took another massive bite with her mouth still on the verge of overflowing. Wet spots appeared on unwrapped food, one splotch at a time. She started on the next burrito before she had even finished choking down the first, sucking carbonated syrup through a straw when her saliva failed to make her gigantic mouthful damp enough to properly chew.

Loretta had only reached the halfway point of her second burrito when her stomach began to hurt more than she was able to ignore, but the vacant feeling in her chest persisted. She forced down another mouthful and followed it with a long drag from her soda, making her feel more bloated but no less despairing. It felt as though the food had nowhere left to go, piling up at the very top of her stomach, putting pressure on her throat. She tried to push the resistance down with another swallow, marking the end of her second burrito. Her eyes bulged as she belched wetly and had to force herself to re-swallow her last mouthful, doubling over as much as her bulging belly would allow to cradle her sore and swollen middle.

Too full to eat any more and no closer to alleviating the anguish she felt, Loretta buried her face in her hands and began to sob. She wished more than anything that she could just smother herself with food to ease the pain and cease to exist right then and there, isolated by the bay windows with a bleak view of the mall’s plowed and salty parking lot, before anything else could make her hate her life even more. Her agonizing was suddenly interrupted by someone softly clearing their throat.

"Terribly sorry for bothering you," began a gentle voice, "but I was wondering—"

Loretta peered up from her tear stained palms to find a vixen looking back at her, clutching the rim of a sun hat in her hands. The same vixen from the elevator, her uncanny familiarity now a source of frustration more than curiosity. The vixen offered a delicate smile, her brow knitted with concern.

She gestured to the chair across the table from Loretta and asked, "Is this seat taken?"

Several long moments passed as Loretta studied the vixen standing before her, trying to make sense of what had just been asked of her. It was such a trivial request, made seemingly in spite of the distress that Loretta was currently and visibly suffering, and with a sea of vacant chairs plainly available on the otherwise empty end of the food court. She didn't want to be seen in such a sorry state, she didn't want to be seen by anyone ever again, but it seemed to her that the universe was intent on denying her even the smallest degree of solace.

Too emotionally drained to show anger, Loretta wiped her eyes and beak on the back of her wrist, took a sniffling breath, and muttered, "No."

Loretta had expected that to be the end of it, longing to be alone to freely wallow in self pity.

Instead, the vixen pulled the chair out and asked, "Would it be alright with you if I sat here?"

Blinking away a few tears, Loretta impulsively asked, "Why?"

The vixen fidgeted with the sun hat in her hands. "You're all by yourself, crying," she explained. "I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I thought maybe you'd like some company."

There was a part of Loretta that wanted to tell the vixen to go away, but it felt so distant. She was too tired, too defeated to argue. After a few moments of hesitation, she nodded slowly, intent on saying, "Okay."

The words never came.

Instead, she gagged on the first syllable, a sour glob of half chewed and partially digested meat and cheese pouring across the back of her tongue. She clamped her beak shut, her cheeks swelling with the bitter mouthful. Humiliated even further, she squeezed her teary eyes closed and struggled to choke it back down.

At the tail end of her deep swallow, her windpipe shuddered open for a poorly timed gasp. Her eyes snapped open as she lurched forward in her seat and began to cough fitfully. Nothing came up. She gasped again, and this time felt something get stuck. She reeled back, grasping at her throat and chest as she fought for air. She looked to the vixen, but the vixen only frowned and looked away, wringing her hands. Loretta felt anger and outrage under the terror as her vision blurred into watery and abstract shapes, slowly dimming around the edges.

And then, all at once, she felt a resounding blow across her upper back. Everything felt numb, the feathers standing up on the back of Loretta's neck as, for an instant, there was a sensation of weightlessness and vertigo. Just as suddenly as it started, it came to an abrupt stop.

Loretta blinked, finding the vixen still standing across the table from her, watching in silence. She gasped impulsively, finding that not only was her airway clear, but not the slightest bit irritated by the near disaster of moments ago. Her beak parted slightly as she sat back, relieved, but dumbfounded and a bit dizzy.

"Thank you," she mumbled as she turned around to see whomever had saved her from choking. There wasn't a soul in sight.

A soft creak brought her attention forward again. The vixen had seated herself, now wearing a gentle and concerned smile. Loretta stared, brow furrowing, unsure of what to say.

"That was a close one," the vixen began. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Did you... I... I'm fine now, thanks." Loretta rubbed her throat, swallowing. "Sorry for bothering you."

The vixen tilted her head, still smiling. "Sorry? You have nothing to apologize for." She chuckled quietly, brushing her bangs away from her eye. "And here I was worried you'd be upset that I didn't wait for permission."

Loretta shook her head, stifling a soft belch as her stomach struggled to settle. "It's not that. I just... I almost—" The vixen raised a brow and Loretta looked down at the table, tugging along the bottom of her hoodie, starting to sniffle again. "Nevermind. Sorry."

"Oh no no no," the vixen cooed quietly, almost whispering. Loretta looked up, and saw that the vixen had her hands on the table, seeming as though she wanted to reach across it. "Please don't cry, it's okay. You're okay now."

"I'm not okay," Loretta whimpered. "Look at me. I'm huge and pathetic and—" She gestured to the mostly full tray in front of her. "And I can't even finish eating these!"

The vixen pursed her lips and said, "Well I sincerely doubt that you’re pathetic, but I suppose I can understand if you've lost your appetite."

"I am pathetic! I didn't buy them because I was hungry, I bought them because... because I—" Loretta looked down again and put her hands to her thighs, squeezing anxiously, imagining the vixen staring back at her in the silence. "Because I want to feel better!"

"Eating makes you feel better?" the vixen asked.

"Yes," Loretta murmured, ashamed of herself.

The vixen was silent for a moment, then she asked, "Would you like me to help?"

"How?" Loretta muttered, peering up at her. "Why do you even care?"

"Because, if I can do something that will help you feel better, it would be awfully selfish of me to keep it all to myself." She smiled and sat back in her chair, gesturing idly to Loretta. "Besides, your food is going to get cold."

Loretta clamped her beak shut for a moment, studying the bizarre woman seated on the other side of the table. "Um... I'm really not hungry... and I appreciate your concern and all, but I... I don't feel good and I really just... I just—"

A long gurgle worked its way from the depths of Loretta's belly, up through her throat, and she tilted her face away as her cheeks puffed with a hot, humid belch. The sharp pain in her belly had completely evaporated and suddenly, impossibly, she felt as though she hadn't eaten anything. She swallowed, peeking at the vixen with one eye, then eyeing the mound of burritos, her tongue rolling around inside her beak as saliva welled up beneath it.

"I just want to eat," she exhaled.