Female Reader x Female Monster
I was left at the Temple of the Oracles when I was born, abandoned because of my appearance. The Oracles took me in, understanding already that, despite my appearance, I was born to do powerful things. Mama Neaera nursed me and raised me by her side. She was one of the more powerful oracles in the temple, able to divine by playing a special lyre made from ancient wood from the mountains where the goddess Rhu was born. Through her divinations, Mama Neaera discovered I would become a great prophet of Rhu, and that I would spread her word across the country, and become a saint in my time.
I did not believe her. Looking at myself in a mirror, I saw no way that people would look up to me, let alone even at me. I was born a lioness Rakshasa, but my left arm was malformed, a wing-like stub with fragments of what my claws should have been. The left side of my face grows no fur, and the skin there is dark purple, pulled tight across my skull, revealing the curvature of my jaw and eye socket and the sunken white eye within. The ear on that side is folded in, creating a sort of cave around the hole.
“What is it, my child? Why are you crying?” Neaera asked me.
“I am ugly, Mama,” I told her plainly. “Look at me! Who would ever believe such a thing could be a prophet! It is cruel.”
She touched the top of my head and gently rubbed behind my ears. “Sibyll, my love, it is not cruel to give you such an important role in the future. You may not think it fair now, but one day you will celebrate.”
“I can’t even look at myself.” I pressed my hand over the side of my face. “How can others?”
Mama Neaera got a stern look on her face. “Sibyll, has anyone here called you ugly?”
I shook my head. “They don’t have to. I can see how everyone else looks. Teti is a lioness too, and she looks nothing like me.”
“You must first learn to find love in yourself, Sybill. Appearances are a shallow thing. It is what lies within us that makes us powerful.” She laid her hand over my chest. “Your heart is strong and courageous, Sibyll. Learn to love it.”
It was not a lesson I was so eager to learn, nor one I had the wisdom to appreciate at the time. My appearance weighed so heavy upon me, I could not even find joy in the great future that lay ahead of me. Mama Neaera decided to fashion a helmet for me that would cover my head and hopefully help me overcome my own insecurities. It was a golden mask of Rhu, with a traditional headdress surrounding it. She also had a gauntlet fashioned to cover my deformed arm, covered in the scriptures of Rhu.
“With this helmet and gauntlet, you can leave your appearance behind. What people will see is the goddess Rhu, and they will recognize you as the blessing you are!” She kissed the forehead of the helmet, then held my hand. “Can you feel her love inside you now, Sibyll?”
I touched the metal face, feeling the soft contours of Rhu’s jaw and cheeks. She had the visage of a beautiful child with wide eyes, bow lips and a tiny nose. I started crying and hung my head. “Thank you, Mama,” I wept. “I think I can feel her now.” I wrapped my arm around myself. “I don’t feel so heavy with this on me. I feel free for the first time.”
It took me a while to overcome the shyness and insecurity that had weighed on me for so long. Without the worry of my appearance, I was able to come out of my shell bit by bit. I learned to trust myself, and let my voice out for the first time. I started speaking to the Oracles more, opening up to them and revealing my thoughts and interpretations of the Rhu scriptures. All the time I had been hiding in the shadows, I had been listening and slowly forming my ideals. All that time I had thought I was nothing, I was actually growing closer to the prophet Neaera had prophesied I would be.
When I was sixteen, I started a ministry with the priestesses of the temple. Working in the kitchen had been my first chore. I had always enjoyed making bread as a child, even if I only had one hand to work with. It was one of my favorite pastimes, and it came to me as a gift from Rhu. I decided to use that gift for the people, and I made loaves of bread that I gave out while I passed on the good word of Rhu.
Now I pray with people, or pray over them, giving them the comfort of Rhu as well as the necessity of bread. It took time, but the ministry has grown, eventually allowing me to have a small building where I can make the bread and hold services for the people. That building has become a temple of my own, small but perfect. Around my twenty-sixth birthday, I am finally asked to travel to other temples to teach my ministry.
“Sibyll,” Neaera looks fearful as she watches me preparing for my long journey. “Come here, my love. Sit beside me.” We sit down before the hearth, and she holds my hand in hers. I remember the days my tiny paw could fit in her palm, but now she can fit her hand in mine.
“It is a cruel and dangerous world out there. I want you to stay safe. There are untold evils beyond our walls, and the desert often offers little comfort. I know I cannot stop what fate has in store, but I can at least offer you a warning.”
“Is something bad going to happen, Mama?” I take hold of her hand. “Have you seen something?”
“Long ago, when I first saw your great task, I also saw three trials for you. I cannot tell you what they are, but I can give you small signs to watch for. A crown of horns, a crowd of teeth, and the scorpion.”
“Those all sound like things I should look out for anyway.” I laugh in an attempt to make light of it, but Neaera still has a look of fear on her face. Her grip on my hand tightens.
“This is not a joking matter, Sibyll. Promise me you will watch for these signs.”
“Yes, of course. I promise you, Mama.” I touch the lips of the helmet against her forehead, and she takes hold of the cheeks.
“You will find strength no matter what. That is the gift I gave to you.” Tears fill her eyes, brimming on the edges of her lashes. “You will go and you will return.”
My journey will take me from the mountains where the temple lies into the valley below. I will speak at the temple there, but there are many more on my list, including the temple in the capital, which lies beyond the desert. The capital has often reported to us that their numbers are dwindling, and the fascination with the new queen has caused people’s hearts to wander from Rhu.
I enjoy the work I am doing, but I am unused to being so far from home. Travel is exhausting, and the farther we go, the hotter it becomes. The trip across the desert will be nonstop, save for sleeping and watering the camels.
During my first night in the desert, I awake in the middle of the night. The place we have chosen to rest is surrounded by high walls of stone, which will probably be our last landmark for some time. It is dark, and the rock walls make me feel as though I am in a box, with someone peering through a crack in the lid.
I rise up and look around for the mystery eyes fixed on me. The desert is cold at night, and I can feel it start to creep into my bones. Unable to shake the feeling of being watched, I walk over to the small fire and relight the torch my guide snuffed into the sand. As I raise it, the light falls on a creature in the shadows, and I become greatly afraid. I drop the torch back to the sand, it rolls closer to the creature, who places its paw upon the metal.
“Why did you wake?” The voice of the creature is melodious and husky, sounding almost like footsteps on gravel. “Were you plagued with bad dreams in your sleep?”
“Who are you?” My voice cracks.
“A watcher, curious about who has come into her domain.” She pushes the torch back over, and I quickly take it back into my hands. I thrust the dim flame towards the speaker, seeing her face faintly through the darkness. On top of her head is a headpiece made of horns and claws. Her eyes look very human. They focus on me, boring deeply into me as she stands there, still as a statue.
“We are just resting. We mean no harm.” My hands are trembling, thinking perhaps this is the first trial I must face.
Her face splits as she gives me a smile, which spreads across the entire width of her jaw. “How can I trust such a thing?”
“I’m a missionary, a priestess!”
She chuckles, tossing her head to the side so I can see the dark fur going down her long, long neck. “I have known missionaries, and some of them turn out to be worse devils than the ones they preach against.” She steps forward, walking on all fours. Her paws look bigger than my own.
I continue to hold the torch out before me, hoping what weak flame I have is enough to ward her off. “I swear to you I mean no harm. I am not a false prophet. I do not know how to earn your trust, but I promise if you leave us alone, we will leave you alone.”
Her long tongue flicks over her lips before slithering back into her jaws. “Tell me what it is you preach? Is it peace? Kindness? Love? What is the word most spoken on your lips, prophet?”
I swallow the hard lump in my throat. “I speak for the goddess Rhu-”
“No, no,” she scoffs, cutting me off. “I don’t want to know your god. I want to know your words.”
“My words are for…” I grip the torch tightly, hoping to steel myself again. “I cannot say exactly what word I speak most. I speak so many, it is hard to keep count. Of course, I talk about all those things you mentioned. We all seek them, we all pray for them.”
“I do not pray.” Her lip curls up over her teeth, revealing a great multitude of them.
I take another deep breath. “And why don’t you? Don’t you want to be heard? Are there no troubles deep inside your heart that you want to shout to someone willing to listen?”
“The great Sphinx is dead,” she hisses. “My kind has nothing anymore like you mortals. With that stupid mask you wear, you almost look like the Sphinx. What are you hiding under there?” She approaches, but I quickly step back, waving the torch in front of me.
She scoffs, her eyes dancing over me. “We Manticore stopped believing in gods and higher powers long ago. There is no such thing.”
“But there are!” I gasp in alarm. “They are all around us! Can’t you feel it? The wind and the sun, even the stars are all because of those powers!”
“Nature,” she snarls. “They are there because of nature! Not some billowy bitch in a cloud.”
“They are also nature! Rhu herself is in all living things. The earth, the rivers, the plants, and you! Rhu is in you, even if you do not believe her.” In a moment of passion, I stab the torch back into the ground. “You and I are kindred because of her. She is inside both of us.”
“As much as I love women inside of me, I doubt your logic. I came to see if you were hunters, but I am certain I have found something much worse.” She tosses her head to the side and rises up to her full height. “Will you be staying much longer?”
I shake my head. “I am heading to other temples to teach my ministry and spread the gospel of Rhu. I do not plan on lingering in the desert for long.”
“Good!” she scoffs. “I hope you are gone from here sooner than later. If you annoy me, I will take care of you as if you were a hunter.” She steps into the shadows, melting away from the light of the torch.
I fall to my knees as the terror finally overcomes me. She could have killed us, ripped us apart and gnashed us between her teeth. I clutch my hand to my chest, praying to Rhu and thanking her for sparing us from the Manticore.
I do not want to worry my guide and traveling party, so I do not tell them of what happened that night. Instead I insist we get to traveling early, and leave the desert as soon as possible. We travel, and each time we stop to rest, I cannot fall asleep with the others. Instead I stay awake, fearing that the Manticore is still close by. Sometimes I can feel those eyes like the first night, but other times I feel nothing at all but the chill of the night.
Once we are close to the edge of the desert, we come across a farm built on a small oasis. We decide to ask the owner if we can rest there for a day, and I feel better knowing we are coming to the end of our journey. The owner is kindly and takes us in, offering us wine and food as well as a warm place to sleep for the night.
“What could a group such as yourselves be cutting through the desert for at this time of year? There are no holidays coming, no festivals. Only a cruel sun and blistering sands.” He fills my cup and watches me closely when I do not drink right away.
“We are missionaries,” I tell him. “We are traveling from the Temple of Oracles to teach my ministry to struggling temples in this country. Our destination is the temple in the capital, which has lost its way. The hearts of the people there no longer turn to Rhu.”
He nods his head slowly. “I see. I was never a religious man myself.” He sets the wine down as he joins the table. “Is that why you wear this?”
He flicks the side of my helmet, and I can hear the metal ring. I touch the face in order to stop it. “I wear this so people will see Rhu and come to love Rhu. It should not be me the people see.”
He chuckles. “That’s one way of putting it, I’m sure.” He takes a deep drink of his wine, keeping a watch on me from the corner of his eye. I’m sure he wants to see me beyond the helmet, but I am weary of him now.
“You lot can sleep in the barn. My prize bull is old and docile these days, but do keep an eye on him.” His laugh is boisterous and bright.
“That is very kind of you, sir. Is there nothing we can give in return for your hospitality?” I raise my glass to him.
He looks at me again and shakes his head. “No. Just rest deeply.”
That evening, the others are tipsy on the wine. I didn’t even touch my glass because of the way the owner kept staring at me, so I lead everyone to the barn to get them to bed. As I am making sure everyone is asleep, I hear a rustle and snort behind me. Turning, all I can see is a giant shadow and two great horns on either side of a head.
My heart is hammering in my chest ,and I freeze in place. The rest of my team is dead asleep. I try to breathe, but it comes shallow and ragged. Stepping back, the bull lowers his head then walks away. As he steps from the barn, I see the doors close behind him.
I hear the clank of a bolt as the doors are shut. I rush forward, shaking the doors in a desperate hope they can still open, but they are locked tight. I turn back to my traveling party, hoping one of them will wake, but just as I am kneeling, smoke starts to billow into the barn.
I jump to my feet, rushing to the door to bang on it, but I can feel the heat from fire burning at the doors. I race back, shaking my guide, but he is far too drunk to respond. I start searching the barn in a panic; finding a pickaxe, I take it to the barn wall. The barn is filling with smoke and I am having a hard time breathing. I strike the axe against the wall, hoping to break the boards and escape.
I am nauseous and wheezing from the smoke. I fall to my knees, praying to Rhu as I cling to the pickaxe to keep me standing. With my last ounce of strength, I beg. One more clear breath and I could get us out. I slump, gasping for breath.
The door bursts open, the bolt shattering off the hinges. The bull runs through, charging and screaming as something comes chasing up behind it. The pursuer roars, but I begin to faint as it approaches me. I fall to the ground and darkness surrounds me.
I wake up to rain pattering on my helmet. I quickly rip it off and let the water fall on my face. My eyes and lungs burn, my tongue feels numb, and around me my party has started to wake as well. The barn is partially burned down, and the bull is lying dead inside.
I turn to see the Manticore sitting behind me. “Oh,” she murmurs. “So that’s what you look like.”
I stand and look at her, seeing her in the gray daylight as rain falls upon us. Her long neck descends into a powerful body with strong legs and thick paws. Her wings are raised, shielding her head from the rain, and her tail is curled around her back leg.
“What happened?” I stumble backwards, nearly falling as I try to take in the scope of what happened. I clutch my chest as it grows tight, and I offer a silent prayer to Rhu. “What did…? The barn was on fire.”
“Yes, it was,” the Manticore scoffs. “The man who invited you in did it.”
I stare at her, my heart sinking into my stomach. “But why?”
She shrugs, and I see the dried blood dotting her neck. “I didn’t ask why. I only tolerated his voice until I crushed his throat.” She sits down before me, her sharp eyes gazing up at me. “He was a hunter.”
“Why would you save me?” I clutch my hand over my heart, feeling it rumbling behind the bone. I try to swallow, but my throat hurts too much.
The Manticore’s eyes dart over me, taking in my face while the helmet lies on the ground. I cannot tell if she finds me repugnant or not. Her eyes give away nothing. “I followed you this long. I might as well see where the journey ends.” She tilts her head to the side. “Perhaps I’ll wait and listen to you preach before I decide whether you annoy me or not.”
I place the helmet back over my head. “Thank you. Really. You saved our lives. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Don’t thank me just yet.” The Manticore smirks. “You might regret it later.”
The Manticore vanishes back into the desert once the party recovers. Hungover and sick from the smoke, it takes us much longer to make our way that day. We are all sluggish and beyond terrified. We have no clue why that man tried to kill us; either he opposed the goddess Rhu or there was a darkness in his heart we did not see. I pray for his soul anyway, hoping he finds peace somewhere in the eternal, even after what he did to us.
We exit the desert the following day, and even then our pace is still quite slow. It is nice to find fresh water, rather than the heated liquid in our canteens. Having something cold eases the pain in my throat.
When I think no one is watching, I wash my face in the river. Then I look up, and across the river I see a young girl standing with a doll in her hands. She stares at me, eyes wide and jaw slack. I reach for my helmet, putting it on as the child continues to watch me. Like the Manticore, I cannot read her expression. I cannot see disgust, or fear, only the wide unblinking eyes of a curious child.
Moving away, I rejoin my group as we set out for the next temple. When we arrive, I am surprised by the crowd of people there. I had been led to believe that it was struggling to gain new members, but from the looks of things, it is one of the biggest congregations I’ve yet seen outside the temple.
I settle in, setting up for my lecture. I will be making bread to hand out to the crowd the following day. I enjoy the serenity of the process; the kneading, the rising, and the crackling of the fire in the stove. I am content as I do my work, reciting prayers to Rhu and baking them into the bread.
As I let the bread cool, I notice someone watching me from the door. Stepping outside, I see the young girl from the river running away. It is strange to see her twice in such a way. I wonder if her family members come to this temple.
The next day, I am excited to teach my ministry, even if I am a bit worried about my voice. I have set up the altar, preparing the bread so I can hand it out to the congregants right away. People start filling in, and I keep an eye out for that young girl. As the temple fills and the chimes ring, I step forward to greet them all.
“Thank you all for coming here today. Blessings from Rhu to all of you!” I extend my hands out over the crowd. “I’ve been asked here today in hopes of growing your numbers. I had not expected such a large crowd, but that is a blessing! Let’s say prayer before we begin.” I bow my head and clasp my hands when a voice rings out from the crowd.
“Take off your mask!”
I lift my head again. “I’m sorry?” I touch the face of my helmet. “This is the face of Rhu. I would rather you see her and love her than me.”
“Take off your mask!” The chant rings out as more voices join in.
“She’s a false prophet!” Someone screams. “Take off the mask and you will see!”
“If she has nothing to hide, then why wear a mask?”
I take a step back, then reach for the bread. “This bread is to nourish your souls the same way Rhu is to-”
I’m struck in the head by a stone thrown from the crowd. People keep chanting for me to take off my helmet, while others scream that I am false and will lead them astray. More rocks pelt me as I try to keep offering them bread. I hold out one loaf to a woman, but she stomps it beneath her heel.
Two men approach me, and as I try to run they grab me and force me to my knees. One yanks off my helmet and, grabbing the back of my head, forces me to look at the crowd. The people go silent as they take in my visage. I see a stone flying towards me, and it cracks against my brow, causing the crowd to erupt in cries of anger and fear.
I hear them call me a false prophet and a demon. They scream curses at me while tossing all the bread I made for them to the ground and stomping all over it. I am dragged outside into the hot sun. My gauntlet is pulled off my body, and a woman shrieks in terror at the sight of my malformed arm.
I’m tossed to the ground and kicked hard in the stomach and face. I cry out, begging for Rhu’s mercy. I try to plead with them, to tell them I am devoted to Rhu as well as their souls, but they do not listen. They only want to see. Everything I feared as a child is all now crashing down upon me. The reason for my helmet, the gift of my mother, is now striking me and cursing me.
The angry and frightened congregants take my body and dump it outside the town, throwing me into a chasm. As I fall, I look up through the mouth of the chasm, and the people who circle around it look like teeth. I topple down, sliding against the rock, rolling, careening until I hit the bottom. My body aches, but the physical pain I feel is nothing compared to the anguish within my soul.
I sob, clutching to the ground as I mourn the loss of my flock. They are driven by fear and hatred of the unknown. They do not know what they are doing. It is no wonder I was called to that temple - not to add to their numbers, but to teach them the right path to follow.
I fall unconscious, and dream of a wide and open field. I stare across it, watching the tall grass rippling from one side to the other. The wind brushes over it, making the grass appear as water. As I wade through it, I feel the lush earth under my bare feet. It is so cool and soft. I run my fingers through the grass as I go by, slowly making my way until another figure appears beside me.
Rhu is praying. Her head is downcast as waves of dark hair flow around her. I gasp in awe, but as I kneel she stops me. Her small hand takes hold of mine, and her child-like face peers up at me.
“I am sorry I could not protect you, my child.” Her voice is the wind whispering through the grass. It comes from all directions, as soft as the earth beneath my feet.
“I do not blame you.” I marvel at her little hand in mine. “I know you have reasons for everything, and lessons that are hidden within them.”
Rhu stretches her hands out towards me, and I bend down so she can touch my face. “I did not give you this mark as a sign of fear, but as one of acceptance. Those who truly love, who truly let their hearts show, will accept you no matter what. Even if those people do not speak my name, I speak through them.”
Tears roll down my cheeks as I fall to my knees before her. Her small hands are powerful and strong, just like Mama Neaera’s.
“I need you, Sybill. You are important. You must do what I cannot, and touch the people so that they can feel me in their hearts.” She places a kiss upon my forehead and I stir.
I wake in grass, dried blood cracking as I open my eyes. I sit up, seeing I am beside a river. The Manticore sitting there, gazing down into the water.
“It’s you again.”
She turns, those sharp unforgiving eyes cutting through me. She steps towards me and her long, purple tongue licks over the dried blood. It feels warm and strong, and I am comforted by the touch. I start to cry, weeping as she tends to my wounds.
“Do not cry for those who wish you harm.” The Manticore nudges her forehead against mine. “Do not even pay them mind. They are damned to their own anger.”
“It isn’t that,” I weep. “I am just so grateful for you.”
She scowls. “For me?” She shakes her head. “Why on earth are you saying such ridiculous things? I know you religious types are all touched in the head one way or another, but to thank a predator for making you its prey is the worst I’ve yet to see.”
I look up at her, bleary-eyed and smiling. “You have been there at every turn for me. Every time something bad happens, you appear and remind me there is good in the unlikeliest of places. When I first left the temple, my mother gave me a warning, and every sign she gave me I assumed meant you. But now I realize the things were not so literal.” I remove the necklace I wear that has the charm of Rhu upon it, and place it around the Manticore’s neck so the golden charm glitters in the black fur.
“I don’t want this,” the Manticore snarls. Her lip curls over her sharp teeth, but they no longer cause me to fear.
I blink, and more tears fall. “Please, accept it.”
She scoffs and touches a claw to the charm. “What is it?”
“A reminder,” I murmur. “That even if someone does not speak Rhu’s name, she can still exist in their hearts.”
The Manticore’s eyes narrow. “I am not some sign from your stupid goddess. I am a beast, and I have no gods.”
“But do you have a name?” I ask her. I wipe my face with the back of my hand. “You may be a beast, but I do not have to call you such.”
The Manticore sits, her body stiff and her tail switching slowly behind her. I see the moonlight in her fur shift, showing off hues of red and chocolate brown. She is beautiful, a creation of Rhu, made perfect as she is. I cannot deny the fine shape of her features, the uniqueness of her frame. Before, I was like the crowd of teeth, and feared her because I did not understand her. I cannot be like them. I want to understand her and see her for the beautiful creation she is.
“Yekta.” She offers the name like a morsel, so sweet and perfect. I take it gratefully and hold it close to my heart.
“Thank you, Yekta. I’m Sibyll, and I am forever grateful to you.” I offer my hand to her and Yekta places her massive paw in it. Her claws brush against my wrist, but she draws no blood.
“I will take you back home. No sense in returning to those who do not deserve you.” She takes her paw away and rises to all fours. “And then that is the last you will see of me.”
I shake my head. “No, I cannot abandon my mission now. I need to go back, and I need to reach the capitol. My word is needed there.”
“You have no helmet and only one arm!” Yekta insists.
“Just as Rhu intended for me. Those who want to hear my word will truly see me.”
“That makes no sense! Do you want to get beaten again? Do you want to get hurt?” Yekta snarls and hisses.
I smile at her. “Then come with me. Stand beside me, and be the lion to my lamb.”
Yekta grimaces, her whole face contorting into disgust. “You are a lion! Act like it!” She inches in closer to me. “I will not leave a fool like you unattended. It would be like leaving a child alone in the wilderness. You will not get eaten by the animals.”
I place my hand over the charm on her neck. “I wish I had known I would have a friend like you, Yekta. I would not have been so terrified as a child.”
“Don’t start.” Yekta remains close to me despite her words. “I am not doing this out of honor or kindness or whatever the hell you’re thinking. I am doing it out of pity.”
I rest my head upon her fur, and it feels as cool and soft as the earth in my dreams. She smells of sunlight and wind, and my heart starts racing faster and faster. “Whatever your reasons, I accept them.”
Yekta carries me on her back to the city. My body remains horribly bruised and in pain from the beatings of the crowd. The only thing I have to look out for now is the scorpion, and I can not take it as literally as I had done at the beginning. Yekta’s crown of horns and mouth crowded with teeth were not the warnings I was to be looking for, and I paid for that. Now, with my eyes open, I will know what to look for and who means me harm.
I have nothing to my name as we come into the capitol. I have no money, no supplies, not even my books. I have to trust the path Rhu has set me on, and follow it as best I can. As long as I have Yekta by my side, I can accomplish anything. She makes me feel strong, and I know she will stay beside me.
The temple is quiet as I walk inside, and the altar is barren. There is no priestess praying, and only the candles are lit. I kneel down by myself, clasping my hands and saying a prayer of thanks to Rhu that I have made it to my destination. Yekta sits at my back, watching me as I lay my hands on the altar.
Yekta stands then, turning towards the entrance.
“I was wondering why my girls were hiding. This explains it.”
I stand and turn to face the priestess standing behind me. She is a woman of age, but still strong of form, with an eyepatch over her left eye. “Please forgive me for coming in unannounced. I was called here, but I am afraid that I am running late.”
She looks me over with a discerning eye, then glances at Yekta. “I was expecting someone from the Temple of Oracles. But this is out of the ordinary.”
I bow my head to her. “I faced many difficulties getting here. The temple by the desert did not welcome me.”
The priestess reaches out and touches my face. “I’ve seen many a gladweed baby in my time, but never one so severe.”
I bow my head down. “Gladweed?”
“More cactus than weed. Grows wild in the desert.” She moves her hand away. “Ages ago, medicine men swore that it helped the pain of child bearing and birth, so women would chew it like crazy. It helped with pain, but it changed the unborn children. Your mother must have been absolutely terrified.” She sighs deeply. “Well, in any case, you look worse for wear. I’ll get you a hot meal and a bed.” She motions to Yekta. “Will your friend be joining you?”
I feel a surge of joy inside me as the priestess gives me her smile. “Thank you. Yes, she’s been my rock coming here.”
“I may have some raw meat for her,” the priestess chuckles. “Follow me.”
The priestess gives me a room with a comfortable bed to rest on while she goes to fetch food. I lay down while Yekta stands at the foot of the bed, watching the door intently.
“You don’t have to do that. I think that we will be safe here.”
Yekta’s ears flick back. “Are you so sure? The last place seemed hospitable at first, and we both saw how that worked out.”
I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my forehead against them. “She saw me, Yekta, but she did not linger on my appearance. She saw it, but at the same time, it wasn’t what mattered to her. Rhu told me that the ones who would listen to me most, who needed me, would be like her, like you.”
Yekta glances back at me. “You talk to her now?”
“I talk to her daily,” I murmur. “I can feel her and am guided by her, but this was different.” I smile to myself as I lie back, resting my head on the pillow.
The priestess returns, and Yekta stands alert. “There we are, now.” The priestess tosses a slab of red, raw meat to Yekta, then approaches me. She has a bowl of coconut milk, as well as a serving of rice with a green sauce sprinkled with fresh peppers.
“This ought to do you right. Drink all of that, it’ll help that body of yours.” She sits down by the bed and watches me. “I checked my records. I take it that you must be Sibyll.”
I take a breath after gulping down the coconut milk. “Yes, that is me.”
She nods, a gentle smile on her face. “Neaera was a student of mine. I helped her get into the Temple of Oracles when she was a girl.” She relaxes in the chair as a smile of nostalgia washes over her face. “She has told me much about you in the letters she sends to me. She told me of her visions about you and what you would grow to become. I never expected that I would live to see a prophet of your caliber, Sibyll. But it seems that my path led to you all along.” She chuckles, then gazes out the window. “I am surprised. Neaera never told me about your friend.”
Yekta is ripping the slab of meat apart, chewing it and gnashing it viciously between her teeth
“I was never told, either,” I admit. “I thought Yekta was a warning, but she’s been a blessing to me this entire journey.”
“Since you have come here, I take it you still plan to teach us your ministry. Or at least, that is my hope. We are struggling here, Sibyll.” She sighs heavily. “The new queen is a wonderful young woman, but the people are making her into an object of worship, and they are slowly turning away from the teachings of Rhu.”
“I plan on teaching my ministry while I am here,” I reply. “And for as long as I am needed. Considering how empty the altar was when I arrived, I suspect that could be for a while.”
The priestess nods. “I hate to keep you from your home, but we need you here, most definitely.”
“She will work when she is able,” Yekta responds warningly. “For now, she needs to recover.”
“Agreed.” The priestess rises from her chair and walks back to the door. “I will let the two of you rest, and I will check on you regularly. Later, I will make sure we have everything you need in order to teach us, Sybill.”
She leaves, and Yekta sits back down. I eat my food slowly, picking at it even though it is delicious. “You do not need to be threatening with her. She is looking out for me, and I know she will not do us harm like the other temple.”
“Just because I am with you does not mean I trust these religious types anymore. Even if the steak she gave me is good.”
Once I feel well enough, I show the priestesses how to prepare the bread I make. I recite the prayers I say while kneading, and show them the steps I take to make sure each loaf is delicious.
Soon I will have to stand before a crowd and preach, and I fear that moment. This will be my first time preaching without my helmet, without my gauntlet. All the times before, I had been covered, and the people only saw Rhu. I should know the true believers will not not mind my deformity, and I have no reason to fear. But that insecure and frightened child still exists within me. She coils up inside, striking me with her fists and opening up those old wounds. It is like a scorpion’s sting, poisoning me again and again until my blood is filled with self-doubt and abjection.
I gasp aloud, looking into the night as the realization comes to me. My mother warned me of three things; the crown of horns, the crowd of teeth, and the scorpion. I was the scorpion all along, stinging myself with my tail, and poisoning myself against my own message. With the helmet, I convinced myself it was better than showing the world the true me. I stung and stung myself all over, placing that toxin inside me.
The evening I am set to preach, I know what to look out for. I have to be careful, or I could ruin everything. Stepping out before the congregation is a terrifying moment. After what happened last time, I am cautious, especially with my face and body exposed. I walk out to the center of the altar and take a loaf of bread in my hand. I hold it close to me, breathing in the aroma of yeast and butter. I look up, over the wash of faces ranging from shocked to confused.
I see one face in the crowd, a young woman who has a black mark over her face like mine. It covers her forehead and right eye, running down her jaw and neck. I approach her, offering her the loaf of bread. “This is a gift from the goddess Rhu,” I tell her. “All living things must partake in food. It is life, and it sustains our bodies in the same way Rhu sustains our souls.”
The woman takes the bread with her left hand and looks back up at me. “Are you the priestess?”
I nod to her. “I am. Why have you come here tonight?”
The woman is hesitant, almost fearful of giving her reply. “I’ve always come here,” she says shakily. “As a child, my parents would bring me. I used to love the services.”
“So do you come for the same comfort now, or for a deeper reason?”
“I want to feel the same way I did as a child. I want to feel that same knowing that someone…” She swallows and tries to regain her composure. “That someone is always with me.”
I take her into my arm and hug her. She hugs me back, and I feel a wash of warmth come over me. “The temple provides a place for worship, but you must know that Rhu is always with you. She is in even the most unlikely of places, and at the darkest of times. She can appear in the most unexpected of ways.” I smile at her. “She can even be within people who may not speak her name, but keep her will in their hearts all the same.”
The woman hugs me again, and another congregant approaches me, touching my shoulder and asking to be prayed over. A pregnant woman asks for me to bless her baby. All that evening, I spend time with the small crowd. I give out the bread, and the following morning, I go out onto the street to hand out the rest to the people.
Of course, there are those who see me and quickly move away. Sometimes, people’s hunger wins out and they take the bread, but they do not listen to my prayers. Eventually, when I am done handing out the bread, I am turning back to head to the temple when a man approaches me. He offers me a hot meal if I will come to his home.
His wife is ill, and not much longer for this world. I sit beside her, talking to her even though she is too weak to respond. I pray with her and her family, holding her child as she weeps into my shoulder. I promise the man I will come back to visit, and should he need anything, he can ask for me at the temple.
This becomes my life for a while, preaching in the temple, handing out bread in the streets, and witnessing for those who need it. It feels like the days of my youth when I first started my ministry, but scorpion’s poison is no longer in my blood.
I return to my room one evening to find Yekta sitting on the veranda. She rises as I come into the room and approaches me.
“You have to go, don’t you?” I had been waiting for this moment for a long time. I had known she would not stay forever, but I had pushed that painful thought away for as long as I could.
“I do not belong in a temple,” Yekta answers. “I never planned to stay as long as I did, and yet here I am still. You should be safe now. You should no longer need me.”
I kneel and put my arm around her. “I will not stop singing your praises, Yekta. I will never forget you for as long as I live.”
“My Sphinx,” she whispers. “You think I intend to leave you alone forever?” Her paw rests in the center of my back.
The tears well up hot in my eyes, but they are not the painful ones I expected to expel when she left me. “Will I see you again?”
“I need to go home,” she whispers. “But I cannot leave you for long either. I am cooped up and suffocated here. I need the desert. But I will also need you.”
I hold her tighter, burying my face against her neck. “I prayed!” I sob. “I prayed not to need you, but I have and I always will.”
Yekta chuckles. “I am glad you need me. It makes what I have to say all the more easier.” She looks at me, and for once her sharp eyes seem soft. Her lips brush against mine and I fall into her kiss. The rows of teeth hidden behind her lips don’t matter. They do not cause me fear. I lean into her embrace and cradle her in my arm.
As Yekta’s lips leave mine, she has a smile on her face. “I will be back, my Sphinx. You cannot get rid of me so easily.” She leaps onto the rails of the balcony and balances there like a cat. “I need to hunt, to stretch my legs. But your side is my home as much as the desert now.”
I jump up to my feet and race to her. “I love you. I never thought I would find someone who could challenge Rhu in my heart, and yet…” I smile through my tears. “I love you.”
Yekta bows her head and nuzzles to the top of mine. “I love you as well, my Sphinx. No one will ever challenge you in my heart.” She leaps off the balcony and vanishes deep into the night.
One afternoon while praying in the temple, the man I met before comes in with his wife and child. The wife has gotten better, and she wants to thank me in person for coming and talking to her. At the next gathering, they are in attendance as well as her family. The next time, they bring more, and more after that. Soon the temple is filled for each service.
I decide to head home and rest at the Temple of Oracles. The priestess sends me with plenty of supplies and a large traveling party. We are going through the desert when, one evening, I awaken to the feeling that there are eyes upon me.
The dark air is chilled, and all around me there are whispers upon the breeze. I sit up, but only see stars above me. The fire is dying coals, just enough to illuminate the rocks around them. I stretch out my legs and slowly rise from my bedroll, careful not to wake the others around me.
I walk away from my party, and as I step into the shadows I feel a warm presence before me. It is not the embers I feel - no, it is something I need much more than flames. Her low purr vibrates through the air until her lips are upon mine. I lean into her, pressing close to take away the time we had been apart.
“I have missed you!” I hold her close, burying my face in her fur.
Yekta chuckles. “You look well taken care of, my Sphinx. But I will see you the rest of the way home.” Her paws rest on my back while my hand strokes up and down her neck. “I do not trust anyone else with your soul. It is my burden to bear for as long as I live.”
I kiss her again, knowing she would hate the thankful prayer I was saying to Rhu for her again. I will always pray for her, and I will always be thankful for her. Yekta is my blessing, my gift from the goddess, and I will never take her for granted.
MadyStacy
2023-03-24 22:15:23 +0000 UTC