Female Reader x Male Monster
When I was young, something amazing happened. My mother and I boarded a train that was full of ghosts, a train that led us to my father. I barely remember it. I can only recall stories and faint flashes of things like gold coins, or a small dog. My mother remembers it fully, but I wish I could too. I want to remember all those fantastic and amazing things. I want to live through such things again.
As I grew up, I worked various jobs to help at home. My step-father left my mother an inheritance when he passed, but he died when I was small and that money is running low. My father sustained severe injuries during a train wreck, and because of that, he was missing an arm and had awful burns all over him. It was hard for him to find work, let alone a place where he wasn’t treated like a monster. My little brother was born recently, so we need every penny we can get. Lewis was a surprise to all of us, but a welcome one nonetheless. He was turning three this summer, and I’ve been working extra hard to buy him something special.
One day, I find a flier in the town square advertising an approaching carnival. As I look it over, a man approaches me. He is tall and handsome, with long black hair and a bright red coat.
“Are you thinking about attending?” he asks me with a flourish of his hand. This man seems odd, to put it simply. I am usually quite wary of strangers, but somehow he puts me at ease. It is an air about him that makes me curious.
“I would like to,” I reply softly. “I’ve never been to a carnival before.”
“Well, then!” The man claps his hands together. “you simply must come.”
I stare longingly at the flier. The picture in the center depicts a horse with a beautiful woman on its back. “I would like to, very much.” I fold my hands together. “It’s just that-” I stop when the man comes closer.
“Hold still, dear,” he says. “I think I see something in your ear.”
“What?” I wrench my hand up to touch my ear, but the man stops me. He holds my wrist, then gently taps his fingertips against my ear.
“What is it?” I grimace, waiting for the worst. I glance towards his hand, and when he pulls it away I see a red ticket appear.
“Well, what do you know?” He chuckles. “It’s tickets to the carnival!” He fans out three before me. “Lucky you.”
I gasp as he places them in my palm. “Who are you?”
He taps the flier at the very top. “Mr. Faire is my name.” He bows low, folding one arm across his stomach. “Entertaining the world is my game!”
“The world?” I murmur softly. I clutch the tickets to my chest. “I’ll try to come. I promise!”
Mr. Faire smiles. “I do so hope to see you there, young lady. Might I ask what your name is?”
I nod. “Gracie,” I chuckle. “Gracie Fairlie.”
Mr. Faire’s eyes widen and he breaks into an even bigger grin. “A kindred!” His arms extend outwards. “This was kismet after all!” He laughs. “From one Fair to another, I am now even more certain our paths were intended to cross, Ms. Fairlie.” He winks, then bows his head again. “I must bid you adieu, Ms. Fairlie. Many more signs to put up.”
“Have a good day, Mr. Faire.” I smile after him. I look down at the three red tickets in my hand and race off. I cannot wait to tell my parents.
The opening night of the carnival comes. My parents say that they cannot attend, but they insist I take some friends, but for some reason I do not feel like sharing the tickets. I take one ticket for myself, tell my parents that they can come along if they change their minds, and leave the other two on the table. I go alone, feeling a bit free as I approach the gate.
There is a woman sitting up front with long red hair and an elaborate costume. “Ah, I see you have one of Mr. Faire’s lucky passes,” she says with a smile. “Go on in. Keep that ticket with you.”
I nod, anxious as I step through alone. I place the ticket back into my pocket. There are lights all around, and music seems to be pouring from every corner. As I walk further along the path, I come across a section full of games.
“Free throw for the pretty lady?” A man leans from his booth, offering me a ball. “Come on, now! Who knows, you could win a prize.”
I step closer to the booth, looking inside to see a stack of glass milk bottles. The walls of the booth are hung with toy animals and small trinkets.
“Go on now.” The man places the ball in my hand, and I see his skin is covered in dark tattoos. “Try your luck.”
“Thank you.” The ball feels heavy in my palm. I’m not the best at throwing, but my father taught me how to aim. I take in a deep breath and slowly draw back my arm. I pitch, and the ball strikes against the stage the milk bottles sit on. The stage shakes and the bottles topple, but the ball ricochets back. It hits me in my stomach and I topple backwards, landing with a loud grunt on the ground.
“Oh, my gosh!” The tattooed man comes out from over the top of the booth. “Ma’am, are you alright?”
“Did I fall?” I grumble.
“Someone call Dr. Haytham!” The tattooed man scoops me up off the ground. “Don’t worry, we’re going to get you taken care of.”
I’m taken away from the lights and music, to an area where the air is crisp and quiet. The tattooed man takes me into a tent and lays me down on a stiff cot.
“Is this the young lady, Emmett?” a soothing voice asks from the shadows.
“Yes, Dr. Haytham. She took one of the sawdust balls to the gut and fell backwards.” Emmett’s voice is hurried and anxious.
Haytham chuckles. “Now, how on earth did you do that?” A man comes around the side of the cot and kneels beside me. “You must have a mighty arm there.”
I look up at him, still seeing stars. “It’s my luck,” I grumble. “It was too good, so it had to be balanced.”
“I’m going to unbutton your blouse,” Haytham says softly. “And now, don’t tell me you believe that.” His fingers make swift work undoing my top. He pulls up my undershirt and inspects my belly.
“That’s how it works, right?” I grunt. “Everything has to be even.”
Haytham murmurs something under his breath. “Does anything hurt?”
“Just my pride,” I chuckle softly.
Haytham chuckles back. “At least your humor is in good shape. I’m going to keep you here for just a little while. Is there someone I can send for at the carnival?”
I shake my head. “No, my parents stayed home and I came alone.”
“I see,” Haytham murmurs. “Then perhaps I could send Emmett out to get your parents. Would that make you feel better?”
“How long should I stay?” I ask. “Is everything alright?”
“I just want to keep a close eye on you for a few hours,” Haytham replies. “Just in case. Things may feel alright to you now, but in an hour or so, that could change.”
I nod silently. “For now, I don’t want to worry them,” I answer. “If anything is wrong, then we can send for them.”
“Very pragmatic,” Haytham chuckles. He moves around the cot, and at last I can see his face. His skin is like dark amber, and his eyes are like honey. His hair is pitch-black and hangs in short waves around his forehead, with a single streak of white right at the sharp widow’s peak. He’s so handsome that I instantly feel butterflies, which can’t be good for the rock to the gut.
“Oh my.” Haytham kneels down again. “Your face is bright red, Ms…”
“It’s nothing,” I try to sputter out. “And it’s Gracie,” I gasp. “Gracie Fairlie.”
Haytham’s eyes are far too perfect, far too beautiful. I have never understood the fairytale notion of love at first sight until this man stood in my presence. If only the childhood adage of ‘a kiss will make it better’ would work in this scenario, I would ask him for kisses until morning.
A smile perks the corner of Haytham’s lips. “Another Fair,” he chuckles. “My, my, now that’s my luck!” He presses his palm against my forehead. “You are warm.”
“It’s nothing,” I try to argue. “I get embarrassed, so-” I stop myself from sounding even further like a fool.
“A beautiful woman like you?” Haytham asks. “What could there possibly be to get embarrassed about that a smile wouldn’t cause people to forget?”
I have been working so hard and looking after my family for so long, I had ignored any idea of romance. That was, until I saw Haytham’s eyes. How dare his words come so easily and enchant me so fast? How dare he do this to me without even knowing?
“Here, can you sit up a moment?” Haytham’s hand slips to my lower back, rubbing up as he helps me to rise.
I shyly pull my blouse back around me and look up at him. “I’ve never seen a doctor like you before.” My throat is suddenly going dry.
Haytham smiles, showing he has a gold tooth. “Is that a compliment?”
I nod quickly. “Yes, uhm-” I fumble while trying to button up. “You’re very handsome,” I reply softly. “I’ve never seen a handsome doctor.” My cheeks burn even more. How am I supposed to talk around him without sounding like a babbling buffoon?
“My, my, and a lovely compliment at that,” Haytham chuckles.
I watch him as he goes across the tent and pours a pitcher of water. He returns to my side and offers me the cool glass. “Have a drink.”
“Thank you.” My fingers touch his as I take the glass and there is a spark. Not a metaphorical one, a real one. “Ouch!” I gasp.
Haytham quickly pulls his hand away. “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry, Ms. Gracie.”
I look at my aching finger, then glance back up at him with a shy smile. I giggle gently and look away from him. “Perhaps it’s a sign.” I take a drink, if only to silence myself.
Haytham’s smile is more beautiful than before. He lets out a single laugh as he stands up. “Yes,” he murmurs. “A sign.”
After a while, Haytham looks over me again. He helps me to stand up and takes me outside, where he walks back into the carnival.
“I think you’re going to be okay, Ms. Gracie,” he tells me. “But to be safe, and to soothe my own worry, I would very much like you to return tomorrow.”
My heart is hammering fast. “Yes, of course.” I pray I do not sound too eager.
Haytham leads me back to the area where I suffered my crushing blow. Emmett gasps when he sees us. “Is she alright?”
“I think she’ll make a full recovery,” Haytham laughs. “Now if I am not mistaken, I think the young lady won a prize.”
“She did!” Emmett takes a stuffed rabbit from the wall. “You knocked over all the bottles, so you get to take this one home.”
I gasp in awe and smile at Emmett. “Oh, my baby brother will love this! Thank you so much, for everything.” I turn to Haytham. “My brother loves bunnies.” I grin as I look at the toy. “It’s perfect.”
“Perfect,” Haytham whispers. “Yes, of course.” He leads me back to the gate. “Now, you promise you will return tomorrow so I can make sure everything is alright?”
I nod. “I promise.”
Haytham takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I do hope you’re a lady who keeps her promises.”
My throat is dry again as his soft lips brush against my skin. “I am,” I answer hurriedly. I grin from ear to ear. “I’ll be here as soon as the carnival opens.”
“I’ll be anxious until I see you.” Haytham lets go of my hand. “Tomorrow, then.”
“Tomorrow,” I whisper. “Yes, and thank you! Have a good night!” I feel so light as I walk home. When I return, I find my mother in the kitchen, rocking Lewis.
“How was the carnival?” she asks with a smile.
I hold out the toy rabbit. “I won this. I think Lewis will love it.”
My mom’s smile brightens as she takes the toy. “Oh, perfect!” She sets it on the table while Lewis sleeps. “What else did you do while you were there?”
“Oh, uhm-” I hesitate as I try to think of something. I can’t just tell her what really happened. She would worry. “Oh, all sorts of things! It was such a beautiful place, Mama, I really can’t begin to describe how amazing.”
“Well that’s good, I’m so glad you had fun.” She looks back to Lewis. “You’ve got those extra tickets - will you be going back?”
I smile. “Yeah, I think so!”
I end up at the carnival early, eager to see Haytham again. It’s still daylight out, and when I go up to the gate, it’s deserted. I look around, hoping to see a face somewhere. I know I am being silly, coming here like this, eager to just see a man. I slouch my shoulders, feeling ridiculous as ever.
I start to turn back when I hear someone whistling. I glance back to see Mr. Faire. He waves at me.
“So you did come, Ms. Fairlie!” He chuckles. “A bit early, I’m afraid.”
“I know,” I murmur. “I came to see Dr. Haytham.”
Mr. Faire tilts his head to the side and his eyes widen. “Haytham, you say?”
I nod. “I, uhm…” I swallow and glance around. “Last night, I had a bit of an accident and Dr. Haytham took care of me. He wanted me to come back today to make sure I was doing well and nothing was wrong.”
“Then come in!” Mr. Faire opens the gate and extends his arms out for me. “I’ll take you right to him. He’s such a good man and an even better doctor,” he chuckles. “I’m not surprised he would want to see you again.” He winks at me and I am not sure how to take it.
Mr Faire leads me away, taking me to the tent I had been in last night. “Haytham, dear friend,” Mr. Faire announces himself. “I’ve brought you a visitor.”
“I was just having tea,” Haytham replies. “What perfect timing.” He stops when he sees me. His eyes shine for a moment, and he quickly sets his teacup aside. “Ms. Gracie,” he says in delight.
My heart is going fast, and I can’t help but think Mr. Faire’s knowing grin is more than he is letting on. “Well, then,” he chuckles gleefully. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He sweeps out of the tent, leaving us in a strange moment of silence.
“Come in, come in!” Haytham sputters, quickly pulling up a chair and smiling. “So how are you feeling, Ms. Gracie?”
“Thank you,” I say as I take a seat. “Im fine, just a bit sore is all.” I place my hand over my belly. “There is a bit of a bruise.”
“Is there?” His look becomes one of instant concern. “Then, do you mind? May I see?”
My face is growing warmer by the second. “That’s fine.” I bow my head as I unbutton my blouse, open it up, then pull up my undershirt to show him the bruise.
His fingertips are warm as they inspect me. They flutter over my skin so delicately. I suck in a nervous breath and glance up at him. His eyes are focused on my belly, but for a moment, those honey eyes of his look into mine.
“I have an ointment, that could be nice for it,” he says, breathless.
“Doctor,” I say gently. “Are you blushing?”
Haytham’s body goes tense when I say this. He turns and looks back at me. “Forgive me, Ms. Gracie. I should be much more tactful around my patients. But you are, well-” he laughs nervously. “I find you to be a very lovely woman.”
My heart is hammering harder. “Well, I should remain tactful as a good patient.” I smile up nervously at him.
Haytham hands me a tin of balm. “Rub this around the bruise,” he tells me. “It’s also good for minor cuts and scrapes. I make it myself.” He clears his throat. “If you are not busy,” he starts timidly. “Perhaps you’d like something to eat? The food here is excellent.”
I roll the tin around in my palms. “I would like that very much.”
“I hope you don’t think me a horrible doctor,” he chuckles. “I try not to fall for my patients every day.”
I shake my head. “If anything, I was the one who did the falling,” I laugh. “It’s all my fault.”
Haytham grins. “That sense of humor,” he murmurs. “That and your smile.”
I am breathless. How can a man like this even possibly be real? I take his hand as we walk towards the mess tent. His palm feels rough, and I notice his nails are pitch black. Perhaps he paints them?
“You mentioned your family yesterday.” Haytham looks at me as we walk. “Have you lived here long?”
“We moved here after my brother was born.” I turn and point towards a mountain peak on the horizon. “There is a valley in the mountains where we used to live. It was beautiful and peaceful, but we decided to move closer to a city.”
“Any particular reason?” Haytham tilts his head.
I bow my head slightly and clutch my hand close to my neck. “My father-” I murmur. “He was in an accident a long time ago, so he…” I hesitate to say it, because my father is wonderful, and like my mother, I see him as handsome and caring. “He doesn’t look like how the world thinks people should look.” I glance back to Haytham. “So when my mother was pregnant, rumors spread that the baby would be a monster.”
Haytham turns to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Gracie.”
“My parents decided to move away from that, to let Lewis grow up somewhere where people wouldn’t call him a monster’s son.” I frown deeply, remembering the hurtful things that were said about my parents. “I didn’t care what was said about me, I could handle it easily. But if those horrible people had just gotten to know my mom and especially my dad, then they would only know the best of people. And Lewis is so cute, and so happy…” I start to blubber and I raise my hands up to cover my face.
Haytham only smiles sweetly at me, his warm, honeyed eyes gazing at me like a work of art. “You truly love them, don’t you?”
I nod and sniffle, rubbing my eyes. “Sorry, I get so upset when I remember all of that.”
Haytham takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes at my eyes. “Don’t apologize for that. All the times I have gotten heated because of things said about my family… I could never judge.” He gives me the handkerchief so I can blow my nose.
“Where is your family?” I ask.
Haytham swings his arm out, motioning all around the carnival. “Mr. Faire made us a family. Everyone here, in one way or another, was rescued by him. All of us were outcasts, victims, just someone who needed a place to feel safe. Mr. Faire has provided that for all of us.”
“Why?”
Haytham glances back at me, his expression soft yet serious. “Because he knows.”
“Oh,” I murmur then nod. “I think my dad would like Mr. Faire, if he met him.”
Haytham takes my hand again and leads me towards the mess hall. Right now, there are quite a few people at the tables, eating breakfast before the carnival opens.
“Take a seat.” Haytham motions to one of the long tables. “I’ll get us something to eat.”
“Thank you.” I sit down and look around me, glancing at all the faces and people around me. For most of my life, I have only seen the same type of people and the same faces, but here it is like an artists palette. There are so many colors, shapes, and sizes, such variety and uniqueness, that I am quite stunned.
I feel a tug at my dress. Looking under the table, I see a little girl with long braids in her hair and skin so soft and dark. She giggles and hides behind my skirt. “Don’t tell anyone I’m here!”
I look up, and now I see a whole group of children crammed into hiding spots. I glance back down at the little girl. “You’re safe here.” She grins and hides behind my skirt.
Haytham returns to the table, setting down trays. I quickly stop him before he sits down. “Be careful,” I whisper, pointing down. “Don’t step on the little one.”
Haytham kneels to look at the girl. “Oh hello, Diani.”
“Be quiet, Doctor!” the girl hisses. “I’m trying to hide.”
“Oh, I see,” Haytham chuckles and switches sides to sit on. “The children constantly have games going. I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“I take it they are patients too?” I look at my plate, surprised by the fresh vegetables.
“Of course. I’ve brought many into this world,” he says with a smile. “Once a month I offer checkups to the children here, and I am always on call.”
“Are you the only doctor here?” I lean closer to him.
Haytham nods and shrugs. “For the time being. It doesn’t bother me at all. I have the time, and I am not a performer,” he laughs.
“What would it take to make you want another doctor here?” I ask curiously.
Haytham hums to himself. “Well,” he murmurs. “I suppose I would want someone else here for when I decide to start a family of my own.”
“You want a family?” I inch in closer to him.
Haytham glances at me and his cheeks darken. “Well, yes. It’s what I have always wanted.” His voice becomes a little more dreamy. “I was an orphan, so it’s always been something I’ve wanted.”
I wasn’t sure how long the carnival would be in town, which meant I had no clue how long I would be able to see Haytham. I just knew I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could.
Over the next few days, I tried to finish up my work so I could see Haytham before the carnival opened. I work at the general store; sweeping up, stocking shelves, and doing simple tasks. I have a list of chores the owner gives me each day, so I try to finish it quickly.
I think my boss notices this, and one day he takes me aside, gripping my arm hard. “If you don’t want this job, little girl, I can find someone else to do it who would be grateful for the pay.”
“No,” I gasp, “it isn’t that, sir.” I feel like I might cry, but I can’t. If I cry now, that would be far too embarrassing. “Has my work not been good enough?”
“I don’t like your attitude. You should be glad I hired you, and pay you the salary I do. I chose you over a lot of other applicants, so act grateful about it.” He lets go of me. “I thought a pretty thing like you would be good for business.” He stalks away, going back inside.
I hold my breath until he’s gone. Once I hear the bell on the door ring, I hold my head in my hands, letting tears fall while I try to remain silent. I reach into my pocket, finding the handkerchief that Haytham gave me. I’ve washed it and intended to give it back to him tonight, but I’m afraid I need it again.
It takes me longer finish up with work, because now my boss keeps adding things to my list. That evening, I consider just going home and straight to bed. There is a heavy stone in my gut. Then I see the lights of the carnival shining, and I find myself at the gate.
I don’t have my ticket with me, though. I search through my pockets hurriedly - I had it this morning, along with Haytham’s handkerchief.
“Ms. Fairlie, whatever is the matter?”
I look up to see Mr. Faire at the gate, I stop and fold my hands together. “I’m sorry. I’ve lost my ticket.” My chest is heavy, and I want to cry all over again.
Mr. Faire opens the gate and extends his arm to me. “You don’t seem like your usual bright self.”
I squeeze my hands together and bow my head. “I had such an awful day, Mr. Faire,” I whimper.
Mr. Faire pulls me into his arms and gives me a warm, strong hug. “I am so sorry, Ms. Fairlie.” He closes the gate behind us. “Come along, I know exactly what you need to fix it.” He takes me away from the lights and music, and leads me towards the medical tent.
I see Haytham standing outside, his eyes unfocused and his foot tapping anxiously. He glances towards us for a moment only to look away. Then his scowl dissipates, and he turns back as a smile appears.
“Ms. Gracie,” he whispers excitedly. He steps forward, taking my hands as Mr. Faire’s arm moves to my shoulder. “You’re usually here early, I was worried.”
“I believe your Ms. Fairlie had an awful day,” Mr. Faire says. “Take care of her. I’ll hold down the medical tent for the night.”
“Are you sure?” Haytham stammers.
“If there is anything truly terrible, I know how to reach you,” Mr. Faire chuckles. “Take care of Ms. Fairlie, I believe she needs you more.”
Haytham glances at me. “You’ve been crying,” he murmurs.
“It’s okay, I’m just happy to be here.”
Once Mr. Faire goes into the tent, Haytham locks his arms around me. He holds me tight and runs his fingers through my hair. “I would take all your tears if I could,” he whispers. “Had I known you were hurting so, I would have rushed to your side.”
I put my arms around him, clutching at his back. I can hear his heart beating. The slow rhythm grows faster and faster. As I tilt my chin up to look at him, I see his eyes for a moment before I close my own eyes. Haytham’s lips touch mine, and I stand on tiptoe to be even closer to them.
“Aww.”
Haytham turns. “Please leave us be, Mr. Faire!” he snaps.
“I’m just so happy for you!” Mr. Faire sniffles.
Haytham sighs. He keeps his arm around me. “Come along, I’ll take you for a walk,” he says quietly.
We walk away from the tents, going along the fence until we find an area that’s quiet, but bathed in the glow of the carnival lights. The music plays softly in the distance. Haytham slips my hand into his.
“My I have this dance, Ms. Gracie?”
I beam up at him. “Nothing would please me more.”
His strong hand slips around my waist, and we start to move to the music. We go slow, spinning and stepping in the soft glow.
“Do you mind telling me what made your day so awful?” he asks gently.
I shake my head. “My boss said some hurtful things,” I reply. “He made me feel small.” I lay my head on Haytham’s chest.
Haytham’s hand rests on my back. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Gracie,” he whispers. “If you’d like, I know several people who would be happy to teach him a lesson,” he teases.
I giggle and look back up at him. “You would never!”
“Why not?” He grins.
“Because you’re a doctor!”
Haytham’s fingertips brush along my jaw. “I would gladly offer him my services,” he says, still smirking. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like him.” He stills and tilts my chin back up. “Knowing he hurt you, that he made you feel less than you are, hurts me to my core.”
I close my eyes, expecting another kiss. Instead his thumb presses to my lips. “What is it?” I murmur as I look back at him.
“There is something I must tell you first, a secret I cannot keep if I intend to share my heart with you.” He holds both my hands in his. “You have let me know the real you, I should return that in kind.”
Haytham steps back, slipping from my grasp. He undoes the buttons on his sleeves and shirt, and as he removes it I see a shimmer along his skin. Where the light hits him, there are patterns that shine like gold dust. He moves to hold his hand out to me, and I trace my fingers along the patterns. The marks look like feathers painted on his body, but as I touch his skin the patterns shift and move, rising up and becoming real feathers of red, gold, orange, and black. His fingers turn black, and his nails become sharp. I look up at him, watching as the beautiful feathers grow around his body. His honey eyes glow from within, and sparks hover in the air around him. Feathers cascade down from his arms, forming grand wings like an angel’s.
Haytham bows his head. “This is me,” he whispers. “I am a Phoenix, and I want you to know me as I am, rather than the Glamour I use to hide.”
I can only stare at him. The way the light hits him and the glowing sparks move around him, I am unprepared for such beauty. I place my hands on his face, cupping his cheeks. The feathers stop around his forehead and face, and his skin there is sparkling with the gold dust. His lips have become black, and I pull him down to kiss him.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whisper to him.
Haytham wraps his wings around me. “You’re not afraid?”
“I’m bewildered, I am bewitched!” I kiss him again, still holding his face between my palms. “I knew you were too good to be true, and I was right! You’re fantastical.”
Haytham’s smile spreads and he lifts me up, kissing me lovingly as he spins me around to the music. “I will love you Gracie, for all time and always. I will not let a miracle like you slip through my hands.”
I kiss him again and again, wanting nothing more than to hold him as long as I can. I gaze into his eyes, taking a deep breath as I try to wrap my head around it.
“Is everyone here like you?” I whisper.
“Not exactly.” He kisses the center of my palm. “But close. All of us are creatures, monsters, and fairy tales you may have heard about in stories. Mr. Faire takes care of all of us.”
I stroke my hand down his arm, admiring his beautiful feathers. “No wonder this place feels like a dream.”
Haytham kisses the top of my head. “It can be your dream, if you so choose.”
I hold on to his arms. “Before I choose anything,” I whisper. “I want you to meet my family. My mother, my father, and Lewis, of course.”
Haytham nods. “Of course.” He strokes his cheek. “Although, you must understand, the idea is slightly terrifying to me.”
I smirk and kiss him. “They are not so scary, but my father is very protective.”
“As he should be,” Haytham chuckles. “I will do whatever I can to prove to him I deserve you, Gracie.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I am not worried about that.” I squeeze his hands, then lace my fingers with his. “What if we meet here tomorrow? Early in the mess tent?”
Haytham shakes his head. “Not here. It would be much more fair if I came to your home. I’ll bring your mother flowers, and I’ll give Lewis a new toy, and I will speak to your father at his hearth, as it should be.”
I press my forehead to his. “I’m sure he will like you. He just has to.”
“I would not blame him if he didn’t,” Haytham chuckles. “Do your parents know you are being romanced?”
I shake my head. “No,” I admit guiltily. “But I know they suspect something is afoot.” I give him a wary smile. “I have enjoyed having you all to myself.”
Haytham kisses my forehead. “It’s time though,” he murmurs. “They deserve to know and I want to meet them. You speak so highly of them.”
I rest my head on his chest again. “They’re what is most important to me.”
“Exactly.” Haytham starts to sway again, moving to the gentle music of the carnival.
He walks me home, taking me outside the carnival for the first time. As we reach my house, the door opens and I see my mother standing there.
“Mom,” I gasp, putting myself in front of Haytham.
“I knew something was up,” my mother scoffs, crossing her arms against her chest. “Your boss came by this afternoon.”
My stomach sinks, and I reach back to take hold of Haytham’s hand.
“Come inside,” my mother replies, waving her fingers. “Both of you.” She looks over Haytham as he steps inside. “I had a feeling Gracie was seeing someone,” she says. “I didn’t realize she was getting an eyeful.”
Haytham swallows nervously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”
“Save it for later,” my dad steps out from the back, a deep scowl on his face. “We have a lot to discuss.”
“What happened?” I gasp. “Why did my boss come here?”
My mom frowns deeply. “To save a lot of breath and more foul language from your father, he wanted to buy your hand in marriage from us.”
“I told him he could shove his gold up his ass,” my father snarls. He glances over Haytham. “And what about you?”
“Oh,” he gasps, flinching as he sits down. “I don’t have money to buy anything,” he mutters. “Or I mean-” he sighs. “Forgive me, but I would never offer money for Gracie. She is worth more than whatever fortune I could hope to possess.”
My dad scoffs. “And who are you?”
“Haytham,” he replies. “I’m a doctor with the carnival.”
My mother places a cup before him. “A doctor.” She smirks towards my dad.
“A doctor at a carnival,” my dad huffs. “Did you even go to school for that?”
Haytham nods. “I did,” he answers cooly. “I also studied under my mentor many years before I went to school as well.” He lays his hands on the table.
“So, doctor,” my dad takes a knife from his pocket and pulls out a piece of wood he starts to carve. “What are your intentions with my Gracie?”
Haytham looks at me. “I want to spend my life with her. I want to grow old with her if that is possible.” He smiles at me. “I love her very much.”
My mom pours tea into his cup. “And you intend to do that while in a traveling carnival?”
“I know it is not traditional, but the carnival is a good place, and the man who runs it is the best man I have ever known.” Haytham looks my father in the eyes. “But that is also up to Gracie. She has made clear her family is important, and, well… I cannot force her away from that.”
My mother’s hand rests on my shoulder, silently, and with only her eyes, she commands me away from the table. She takes me to the adjoining room where Lewis is sleeping in his little bed.
“We’ll let them discuss things,” she tells me gently, sitting down in the rocking chair. “Needless to say you don’t have a job anymore.”
“What did he say?” There is a tremor in my voice.
“A lot of bullshit,” my mother grumbles. “Your father would have chased him off had he not been holding Lewis at the time.” She glances up at me. “Why didn’t you tell us he was such an asshole, Gracie?”
I frown and look to the ground. “I just wanted to work.”
She tilts her head towards the door. “And that one out there?”
“He’s nothing like him,” I whisper. “Haytham is different. He reminds me of how Papa treats you.” I kneel down, sitting by her feet. “He makes me so happy.”
My mother puts her hand in my hair and sighs. “You’re grown up now, I certainly hope I raised you to have common sense.”
I fall asleep at some point, my head on Lewis’ bed. I wake when his tiny fists pull on my hair. “Bibi,” he whimpers sleepily.
I rub my eyes. “Hi there,” I coo.
“Bibi,” he whines again. “Tummy hurt.”
I nod and kiss his belly. “You stay there, okay?” I get up, hoping for Haytham to still be talking with my father. Instead I see my mother making breakfast.
“Did Haytham leave?” I gasp.
“Long ago,” my mother says. “Why?”
“Lewis is complaining his tummy hurts,” I murmur.
She goes into the bedroom and gathers Lewis. “He must just be hungry.” She sets him in his high chair, but when she offers him food, he whines and turns away.
“How odd,” Mother murmurs. “He’s usually so eager to eat in the morning.” She tries offering him something else, but he still refuses.
As the day goes on, Lewis becomes more uncomfortable. He eats nothing. By the evening, Lewis is screaming and crying. My mother has gone to get the town doctor, but she’s gone so long that I gather up Lewis, bundling him in my arms.
“Papa, I’m taking him to Haytham,” I say urgently.
“Up to that carnival?” My dad follows me to the door.
“He’s a good doctor!” I insist. “Come with me if you want, but we can get Lewis to him sooner than we can wait for Mama and the town doctor.”
“Give him here,” my dad takes Lewis and we rush to the carnival. I open up the gate and we go towards the medical tent.
“Haytham!” I cry out.
He rushes out from the back, dressed in his sleep clothes. “Gracie,” he gasps. “What are you doing here? I thought-” he stops when he sees my father and hears Lewis crying. “What’s wrong?”
My father steps forward. “He’s been complaining that his stomach hurts. He’s not eaten all day.”
Haytham hurriedly clears off a table has my father lays him down there. He inspects Lewis’ belly and his expression is grim. “It’s tight,” he murmurs. He checks Lewis’ temperature, all while he talks calmly to him.
“What’s going on?” My father snarls.
“Mr. Fairlie,” Haytham says quietly. “It will be alright, but Lewis is very sick.”
My father grabs his arm roughly. “And what do you plan to do about it?” He gives Haytham’s arm a strong shake.
Haytham places his hand over my father’s. “Don’t worry. I just need you to hold him.” He looks at me. “Go and fetch Mr. Faire for me. His tent is just around the corner. If you shout for him, he’ll come out.”
I watch him for a moment, then kiss his knuckles. “Just take care of Lewis, please.” I rush from the tent, going around the corner like Haytham told me.
“Mr. Faire?” I call out. “Mr. Faire?”
“Who goes there?” A sleepy voice asks. Mr. Faire comes out from the tent, wearing a wool cap on his head. “Oh, Ms. Fairlie, what are you–?”
I grab his hand and tug. “My brother is sick. Haytham told me to find you.”
“Oh,” he gasps, squeezing my hand. “Then we should go right away.”
As we go back into the medical tent, there is a blinding light. It takes my breath away for a moment. As my eyes adjust again, I see Haytham in his Phoenix form, over my father and Lewis. He’s feeding something to Lewis.
Haytham steps away, and his bright light becomes rippling flames. He turns and smiles at me and then, all of a sudden, he is consumed by the flames, vanishing as the fire falls to ashes.
I am breathless. “Haytham?” I whimper.
“It’s okay,” Mr. Faire whispers to me.
“Where is he?” I can’t catch my breath and I feel like I am choking.
“Darling,” my father says. “He’s gone.”
I’m not sure what happens next. I wake up in my bed and I can hear voices in the kitchen. I hear Lewis giggling, and my parents’ voices are low and hushed. As I walk out into the kitchen, I see Mr. Faire has a cup of coffee while talking with my parents. He stands from the table and beckons me over.
“Come on over, Gracie,” he says, letting me take his seat. “You fainted yesterday.”
“Oh,” I touch my temple. “I thought something was strange.” I sit down and glance up at him. “So.. is he really gone?” I whisper. “Haytham… Did he–?”
“He saved Lewis,” my father replies. “What he did allowed Lewis to live.”
I close my eyes and start to cry. “But why did he have to do that?”
Mr. Faire’s hands squeeze my shoulders. “I collected his ashes. It will all be okay.” He rubs my back. “He won’t be gone forever.”
I sniffle and rub my eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“He’s a Phoenix,” Mr. Faire chuckles. “He’ll rise from the ashes. Did you not know that?”
“What?” I stand up to look at him. “He will? When?”
Mr. Faire smiles. “In time.” He takes a small, wooden box and places it in my hands. “By then, the carnival will return, and the two of you can decide what lives you want to lead. That’s what he was preparing for before Lewis got ill. He was going to stay with you here.”
I take the box into my hands and hold it tight. “Thank you,” I whimper.
The carnival leaves in the twilight. All signs of it are gone, and the only things left are the holes that held the tent stakes and a dusting of red popcorn bags. I keep Haytham’s box next to my bed, making sure it is somewhere safe, as well as in a place I can always see it.
Days go by, and then months. The days become dark and cold, and my father finds extra work repairing homes and chopping firewood.
One afternoon during a snowstorm, I’m sitting around the fire with my family. Lewis goes into my room to fetch my blanket, and suddenly I hear him shout. “Bibi! Burb!”
I race ahead of my parents and see there is a fire in my room. I grab Lewis, but as I come close to the flames, I find their heat is gentle. They swirl and sizzle. Eventually, I see the bird Lewis was talking about. It flies close and lands in front of me, changing shape. Hands reach out, touching my face.
“I didn’t mean to make you wait,” a familiar voice says gently.
I set Lewis down and reach out to Haytham. I wrap him up in my arms and bury my face in his feathers. “I’m just so happy you’re here at all!” I move to kiss him, but he chuckles softly. “Gracie, my dear.”
I glance back, seeing my parents staring at us. I blush hard and chuckle. “Sorry,” I whisper.
My mother nudges my father. “Come on, dear, let’s give them some privacy.”
“Anastasia, I won’t-” my dad starts, but she shoves him.
“You owe him!” she scolds as she herds him down the hallway with Lewis in tow.
I close the door and quickly kiss Haytham. I press close, never wanting to let him go. “You scared me so horribly!”
“I know. I’m sorry,” he whispers. “But your brother was sick, I had to do it to help him.” He smiles softly at me. “He’ll grow up now, and I would do it again.”
I hug him fast. “I’ll never be grateful enough for that.” I then gaze into his eyes and feel comforted by their honey glow. “We have long lives together now, though, don’t we?”
Haytham kisses my hand. “As long as that is what you want?”
I nod. “One year with the carnival,” I say, “and one year off. After that, we will decide what we want.”
Haytham grins. “Agreed.” He kisses me, picking me off the ground and spinning me.
We marry when the Carnival returns in the Spring. Mr. Faire officiates the ceremony, nearly crying through most of it. As promised, we spend a year traveling with the carnival. I enjoy it, but I am excited to see my family again. Yet, nothing feels so good as waking up in Haytham’s arms every morning.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Haytham asks.
“It is,” I beam up at him. “Because I know, no matter what, you’ll always be by my side.”