Atmais the Dragon Mimic: Part Two (rough draft)

I hadn’t been in the woods since I was little. I guess I hadn’t been there since the last time I saw Atmais. It was strange going through the trees, looking for him again. Despite all this time, I found I was still able to follow the landmarks I did as a child. There was more overgrowth, but I could recognize the rocks and trees that had served as my guideposts. There was the spot where I used to find the best moss. Another where small pink flowers would grow. There was the tree that was always surrounded by acorn no matter the time of year.

Eventually, I came upon the spot where I had found Atmais all those years ago. Although, It was much more changed than anything else. Now there was something built there, a large cavern made of sticks and mud, covered with moss and other plants to form a burrow. Inside I saw two red eyes glowing as I approached, and Atmais came out.

“So, you remembered.”

“Like it was so hard.” I was huffing and puffing from the hike.

Atmais lowered himself down then placed his hand upon the top of my head. “I was wondering when you would come and visit.”

I felt so tiny under his palm. I pushed against it, but he wouldn’t be moved. “I had to work!”

“Oh, right,” Atmais chuckled. “Not flying.”

“I could if I wanted,” I huffed at him, smoothing my hair back down from him mussing it.

Atmais tilted his head to the side. “But you don’t want to?”

I swallowed and continued fixing my hair as an excuse not to look. “I simply can’t.”

Atmais sniffed then turned his head away, looking through the trees that pointed towards the ocean. His eyes became distant, and then a familiar twinkle came to them. His mouth opened wide with a gasp and he looked at me excitedly. “Then why not fly with me right now? There’s no stopping you, no sense in waiting. I could take you up into the sky this minute. What do you say?”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

The twinkle disappeared, replaced by a darker haze that blotted his eyes. “You can’t? Yes, you can. I can fly. I’m right here. There’s nothing to stop you.”

“No! I’m telling you I can’t-” I stepped away from him as he started to come out of his burrow.

Atmais stood before me. “What happened to you? All you ever wanted was the sky. Now...it’s almost like you’re afraid of it.”

I hung my head down low. “I’m sorry. People grow up, they change-”

“I’m not dumb. I know what happens. Look at me! Am I the same chubby squat you knew? No. I grew. I changed. You promised me once that we would fly together.” Atmais’ voice was low and even. “I waited so long for that moment. I waited in the sky for days when I came back just to surprise you. And when you weren’t there, I was afraid that-” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Stop with all the excuses. Why won’t you fly?”

I sat down on a tree stump and placed my face into my hands. I took a deep breath as I tried to work through the shame to share with him. “Grandpa, when he died, he died in his plane. Something went wrong and-” I hated talking about it, even mentioning it. Even thinking about it brought up that swell of tears I couldn’t fight off.

“Okay, so you’re scared.” Atmais knelt down beside me and his tail coiled around the stump and my legs. “You could have just said that.”

“But I couldn’t!” I huffed, wiping my face. “I feel so worthless! This never would have stopped him. But any time I’m even in a plane, I get cold sweats and go all pale. I almost fainted the last time.”

Atmais laid his head on my lap. “When was the last time?”

I sniffled and patted his head. His scales felt the same as when he was little, but the sharp ones around his eyes were so much bigger. “Five years ago.”

“I never thought you’d be afraid of anything. I looked up to you for that,” he murmured.

“Me neither,” I grumbled under my breath.

Atmais lifted his head and came extremely close to me. Next thing I feel is his tongue gently tapping against my cheek and licked away the tears that have fallen. It was both gross and very sweet at the same time.

“You belong in the sky,” he said. “No matter what it takes, I’ll get you back up there.”

“Atmais, please don’t,” I huffed. “You must have so much more to worry about than that. It’s fine.”

He glared at me and I looked away. “You made me a promise a long time ago!” He snapped. “You promised to fly with me side by side.”

I wiped my cheek where he had licked. “I didn’t think such a thing would matter that much.”

“It does,” he said gently, which made me look back up at him. “I’m not sure why, but I was always excited to one day fly with you.”

I smiled softly at him. “I don’t know if it’s possible anymore. If I can’t even get into a plane.”

“You don’t have to get into a plane! You can fly with me.” Atmais patted his hands to his chest. “You can ride on my back.”

I shook my head. “What? Without any sort of safety measure?”

Atmais scoffed and came up close to me again. “You promised.”

I scowled. “Okay, so I promised.” I stood up and nearly tripped over his tail. I quickly covered and stood straight before walking around him. “But I was a kid. Kids make promises.”

“And apparently you, as an adult, make excuses!” Atmais huffed. He coiled his tail around me, slipping towards my back and capturing my hand in his. My palm looked so small against his, but he felt so warm it was comforting. “I promise you, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I just don’t want you to waste your dream.”

I pushed against his hand. “Why does it matter so much to you?”

“Because you do, Bea.”

The softness and kindness of his voice made my heart tremble. I moved my hand in his, sliding it closer to his fingers. “After so long?”

Atmais pressed his head against mine and nuzzled. “You saved me when I was scared. Let me do the same, Bea.”

I sighed heavily. “Okay,” I agreed. “But if it becomes too much-” His hand closed tight around mine and he pulled me into a hug from behind. His whole body felt so big and strong, it was a nice surprise.

“Don’t worry! I’ll take care of you all the while! If you get too scared, I’ll be right there. Promise.” He swirled around me and placed himself before me. “Should we begin?”

Inside it felt like I was struck by an electric current. “Now?” I forced a laugh. “Here? We can fly in the woods.”

“No, let’s go out.” Atmais took my hand and grew another so he could walk. “We can go onto the beach and practice.” I was pulled along beside him as he lead me towards the beach. I eventually pulled my hand free and stood there.

“No, this is too sudden! I can’t-” I stopped myself when I finally heard it. “Oh,” I whispered to myself.

Atmais looked at me, confused.

“It seems awful fast though, doesn’t it?” I tried to laugh. “Wanting to go and fly so suddenly?”

“We don’t have to fly, just get you used to the idea of it.” Atmais took my hand again and continued leading me toward the sound of the ocean. “Besides, it’s been so long since we’ve been together. Isn’t that worth it?”

We stumbled out into the sunlight and I had to brace my arm before my eyes. The sun was warm, and due to the rain the past couple of days, the air was humid and sticky. My eyes grew accustomed to the light and I looked out over the beach as Atmais slid into the water.

“You’re swimming now?” I chased after him, stopping just before the water to take off my shoes.

Atmais turned into a viking boat where his head sat at the top of the bow. “Hop on!” His tail formed a ladder for me to climb up on.

“You do realize this feels a bit weird.”

“We’re not flying,” he huffed.

“No, I mean, getting inside…” I tried to think of a way to put it that didn’t sound so off putting. “Getting inside you.” I grimaced at the words.

“Technically, you’re not inside me, you’re on me. And don’t make that face, don’t actually make this weird,” he scoffed.

I clicked my tongue then climbed up the ladder. I stepped on board and looked around before I went closer to his head on the bow. “Why a boat?”

“Maybe if you trust me out on open waters, then we can work on letting me fly with you.” He started swimming, and I felt the force of it nearly knock me back. I braced against him then stood back tall.

“When you said you can do anything-” I murmured. “I didn’t really expect it.”

Atmais chuckled. “I can go anywhere and do whatever I please. It’s why I had to go with my dad before.” He turned his head back to look at me. “What do you think?”

He certainly did change the subject quickly. “I don’t know,” I walked over to the edge to look over. I was surprised by how far out we were already. “It’s nice out here.”

“See?” Atmais swam faster and I had to hold on tight to him to keep from falling over. “No matter where we go, I’m always here too.”

I looked back out at land as it faded onto the horizon. “Where are we going?”

“Wherever!”

He swam us around Blackforte, eventually taking us back to the beach we left upon. We did this a few more times, going out on the ocean, swimming. He barely talked about flying anymore, so I began to relax and not worry about it. In the back of my mind, I figured he had forgotten. I was having fun getting to know him again, that I didn’t even think about it myself.

There was an evening where we sat on the beach together, the sun was setting over the waters and the sky was blooming orange, pink, and purple. The way the clouds swirled in the sky made it look like watercolors, and I was enraptured by the beauty of it. Atmais laid his head in my lap and I had been petting him for a while.

“It will get cold soon,” he said.

“Oh,” I was barely back in my own head. “I suppose.”

Atmais lifted his head, though he nuzzled into my palm once more. He then looked into my eyes and smiled at him. “What is it?” I asked.

Atmais’ eyes darted around before he looked down and closed them. He took a breath and lifted his head again, pressing his forehead against mine. “I promise,” he whispered.

I placed my hands on either side of his face, holding him tenderly. “Promise what?” I asked.

“Whatever it takes.” He lifted his eyes as he moved back. I kept my hands upon him, stroign him gently as he looked so sweetly at me. “I promise.”

My heart throbbed as I looked at him, unsure what he meant, but I understood him entirely. “Why?” My voice cracked.

He pressed his head against my shoulder, purring softly as I put my arms around his neck and held him close. “It’ll get cold,” he said after a while. “I should take you home.” He used his tail to push my shoes closer to me.

“Okay,” I murmured. I looked at him one last time, seeing that gentle look in his eyes. I smiled at him, taking his hand once I had my shoes on. It really wasn’t that cold out, even by the time I got home, the air was still balmy.

“Would you like to come in?” I asked. “I know my place is a mess, but I could clean a space for you.”

Atmais looked shyly to the side but nodded. He came inside, going long and thin again in order to fit into my house. I moved things off the sofa and started filling the trash bag. Atmais draped himself over the sofa and, once I sat down, he placed his head right back into my lap. I fell asleep there, eventually becoming wrapped up by his tail. When I woke, I was hung up as if in a hammock, his head resting on my belly.

I rubbed my eyes, still trying to come to from the long sleep. I glanced around, seeing the kitchen clock straight ahead of me. I gasped and kicked up, knocking his head off and waking him.

“What is it?” He growled.

“I’m late for work! Put me down! I’m going to be late!” I nearly fell and Atmais set me down. I quickly ran about the house. I needed to get a shower, but there was no time. I changed in a rush and headed to the door like a bolt. “I’m sorry!” I turned around before I left. “You can stay as long as you want. You don’t have to rush out.” I then grabbed his face and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Bye!” I rushed out the door without even realizing what I had done. I was halfway to work when it dawned on me and I nearly drove off the road.

Once I closed the airport that evening, I went home to get a shower. I still smelled like the ocean from yesterday, on top of the body odor from that day. When I got there, I noticed Atmais sitting in the front lawn, looking out towards the ocean. He stood when I approached and I had to smile anxiously at him. He ran up to me, dipping down and nuzzling to my cheek.

I started to laugh with relief, placing small kisses as he nuzzled me. I then held his face between my hands and smiled at me. “You didn’t have to stay all day.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“I wanted to see you too.” I stroked my hands along his cheek and up to his ear. “So, I’m glad. I was planning on getting a shower then going back into the woods.”

Atmais circled around me, coiling his body tight around me then leading me back to the house. As he took me inside, I realized something was off. The kitchen was clean, as was most of the living room.

“Did you do this?” I looked around in awe, but he kept pulling me back.

“I was bored.” He placed me in front of the bathroom door. “Get a shower, then, I want to try and fly with you.”

My heart pulsed in my throat.

“Don’t say anything,” he said quickly. “We need to try, I think now you’ll be ready. We don’t have to go far, or even very high. We can just hover in the yard if that's all you want. But you need to try.”

“I don’t-” He shushed me before I could speak.

“You can do this. You have to.”

I nodded in silence and went into the shower. Thank goodness the bathroom window was tiny or I might have tried to escape through it. When I got out of the shower, I walked onto the porch to see Atmais over the ocean. He was flying around over the ocean going way way up then coming back down and skimming along the water. He came back, landing in the yard and approaching me. He held out his hand and I lost my breath for a second.

“Your grandfather wouldn’t want you to be afraid,” Atmais assured me. “You’ve got this.”

I sniffled and nodded. “I know you’re right.” I slipped my hand into his and looked up at him. “You can’t let me go. And if I tell you to stop-”

“I’ll stop,” he insisted. “Promise.”

I gripped his hand and he pulled me up into his arms. He then placed me on his back and I hugged tight to his neck. I hid my face there, waiting as he got ready. I felt him shift, moving slightly as his body left the ground. I held my breath, keeping my face buried against his neck. He stayed still, hovering there as he promised.

“You need to look,” he said softly.

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

“You’re further off the ground on your porch. It’s okay.”

I slowly lifted up, keeping my eyes shut tight. I took several deep breaths before I even parted my lashes. I looked first at Atmais, then down at the ground below me. I felt the cold sweat, the clammy hands, but I kept myself so very still.

“Can I go any higher?” Atmais asked.

I swallowed. “Just a little.”

Atmais lifted up a bit more from the ground. I clutched tightly to his back, fighting back to the urge to cry and vomit.

“A little more?” He asked.

“Okay,” I breathed.

I could see the top of my house and further out along the beach. I watched the horizon for a moment and then I had to bow my head back down. “That’s enough!”

Atmais landed and helped me back onto my feet. “You did great.” He held me, coiling himself around me and stroking my hair. “You did so good, Bea. I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to do it,” I whispered.

“You took the first step, that’s more than most people get to do.” Atmais smiled. “You’ll get there eventually.” he then pressed his forehead to mine. “And I’ll be with you all the way.”

Each day after work, we tried a little more. We flew around some, just at the level above my roof. I kept my face buried in his neck most of the time, but bit by bit, I began to raise my head. We went a little higher then and went over the ocean. It was a slow journey, but eventually, I felt ready for something I had wanted all my life.

My grandpa and I had built a small plane together just before I went off to college. It had been sitting at the airport for a while, but now, I felt I was ready to fly her. Repairs had been made, and the people in the garage had looked her over. I sat with her on the tarmac with Prentiss in the tower to guide me, as well as Atmais, who was ready to fly with me.

“You ready?” Prentiss asked through the radio.

I took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“You remember which buttons to press, right?” She teased.

“Prentiss,” I scolded as she laughed. I looked out my window, seeing Atmais sitting there, waiting. I nodded to him and he took off into the sky ahead of me. I started my engine and could feel the vibrations of it flowing through my limbs. I held tight onto the controls and slowly rolled out upon the strip.

“You’ve got this, boss,” Prentiss urged.

I was prepared, all my life I had been ready for this. I let go, and suddenly, I was in the air. I went up and up and up until there was nothing but clouds around me. I was breathing fast, a cold chill going down my spine. My hands felt slimy and cold inside the gloves. I then looked out my window and saw Atmais. He slowed, moving to my side. I smiled, tears running down my cheeks. I had done it! I had finally done it! After all these years, I was finally where I had always wanted to be.

I flew alongside Atmais for what felt like eternity. Souring above the clouds, suspended upon the breeze. It was quiet up there, so peaceful and endless. My grandpa used to say he imagined that’s what heaven would be like. No end in sight. No walls. No boundaries. Just endless purity and bliss as far as the eye could see. Just a beautiful blue with no horizon, a place with no beginning and no end. I looked out towards Atmais, wondering what he was thinking. I wished I could have reached out and touched him, or even yelled thank you to him, but that would all have to wait for now.

When I landed, I was relieved and excited. My whole body was shaking and I could barely get out of the plane. Atmais plucked me out from inside and spun me around.

“You did it!” He cheered.

I put my arms fast around him. “Thank you,” I whispered. I buried my face against his scales, letting the tears slip down my cheeks again. “Thank you!” I sobbed gently. I squeezed him so tight. “I forgot how much I loved it...I forgot-” My voice clenched up into my throat.

Atmais lifted my head, smiling down upon me before he nuzzled to my cheek. He licked away my tears then set me back down upon the ground. “You worked so hard to get here. I’m so proud of you.”

I sniffled and caught my breath. “I never would have done it without you pushing me. I’m so grateful.”

Atmais leaned back down. “I love you, I would do anything to help you. I promised.”

I hugged him so tight it almost made my arms go numb. “I love you too,” I whispered to him. I took hold of his hand and kissed the interior of his palm. “Thank you. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

“Let’s go home.” He picked me up again. “We’ll discuss all that there,” he teased.

I started flying the passenger planes after that, sometimes with Atmais by my side. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed it until I was flying again. And once I was, I knew I was never going to give it up again.

There are nights when Atmais and I fly together. I ride on his back and we go over the ocean and towards the sunset. I hold onto him, kissing his neck as I whisper to him all my gratitude and joy.

“Why did you really come back?” I asked him one night.

“Because I always knew I would fly with you,” Atmais replied. “There was never a question of anyone else. All my life, since you threw a bucket at me, I knew I would never see someone the way I saw you.”

I laid on his back and smiled. It took me longer to realize, but as long as I had Atmais, I could fly.