*Member Exclusive* A Rotten Crush
Added 2025-07-05 08:38:16 +0000 UTCNew exclusive. Tommy is a lonely young man. He's geeky, terminally online, and a bit of a slob but has a kind heart. He's well-liked by the other tenants in his apartment building, and helpful when he's not holed up in his apartment. For the last 6 months he's been crushing on another tenant two doors down, the friendly outgoing brunette, Farrah, but has been too shy to ask her out. He’s soon approached online by a mysterious person named Skweez that encourages him to be more like a filthy rat with confidence, and that sharing his filthy depravity will get Farrah squeaking for him, which the impressionable Tommy is eager to take the advice of until he’s a rotten rat determined to get the girl.
This took way longer than I had expected, and I'm so sorry for that. The story ended up being almost 30k words. Doesn't help that 1st person takes more effort for me. So yes, it's a slowburn TF, but it has spikes and plenty of corruption in between the physical changes. Hope you enjoy squeaking to this one.
PS. I should be dropping a teaser and possibly another story this weekend!
Comments
Wow, thank you so much! I really enjoy reading comments like this to get an idea of what really worked and what didn't. I wasn't sure if the speech patterns and lingo was accurate enough, but I'm glad to hear that the shift was still natural. I'll definitely look at how to be clearer on the days of the week it is for each segment. The narration switch to that semi-first was awkward. That was actually one of the biggest places I was unsure about. My natural instinct was to go full third person for their parts, so hearing your feedback about that tells me I should have followed my instincts. How ironic. I might have to fix the chat colors in a QA review, but I'm super happy you made note of the change at the end. :3 Regarding the ending. I'm considering an epilogue, and outside of that there are a few concepts I introduced that I want to explore more. I'll consider putting a vote to this story going public down the line, as you have a fair point about it being the first major Rat Rot story narratively, as I did have plans to explore Tommy and his new nestmates and followers in other stories. I usually have the first story go public and later stories be exclusive so that is to be considered. Once again thank you so much for the review. It means a lot.
Eiji Otaka
2025-07-09 03:41:12 +0000 UTCReview: (Rat Rot) A Rotten Crush After nearly two months without a new story, we finally got a new one . So to celebrate I decided to make this review. To sum up the story is great, one of the best. The transformation and corruption are very good, having a long story with slowburn TF is not the easiest one but the story delivers. The changing is crystal clear with the week by week structure: the first one only been more confident and a little mistier even grosser, the second having an anger attack, starting to spunging frequently and speaking more like a “chad gamer” leading to the bathroom scene, the third one being a “chad”, corrupting Nester and the Putreskweez / Rot influence and mission being more in the front and last the forth being with the corruption completely having the biggest contrast Tomy starting wanting Farrah being with him like a normal guy and ending with him taking her by complete force. The progression is completely natural and the change in his personality very clear, the “chad gamer” is well done so the goal of a slowburn is completed by a large mark. The only problem that I have that isn’t really a problem is more like a suggestion is that after the line separation, that sometimes marks a day change, it should be stated what day it was, how it was done with the week. I think it would have helped with the perception of time but that’s just me. This is also achieved with the use of the first person. It is done fantastic, as the words pass by it becomes an imperceptible factor it becomes natural which shows how well it was done. This also helps with the sense of unawareness of corruption and more importantly the feelings that Tommy feels. The first person helps with that, giving a more intimate feeling to his thoughts feeling like they are totally his and the best example to this is the bathroom sense. But the problem, that is actually a problem, is that when the story completely focuses on Nester or Farrah the type of narration still is in first person been Tommy the one that is given the narration. I find it wired Since it seems that Tommy suddenly knows everything they think besides the way the narration has to say “me” when they referd to Tommy is jarring, at lest to me. I would find it better if the narration changes to third person and it really feels that way by the end. Returning to the positive, I find that the story has a lot of creativity with a lot of concepts like with the spunging being an original concept regarding masturbation given that act a clear corruption quality and the irony, stuff that I love, that the cleaning product becomes the opposite being use to spread the corruption “cleaning” the parts that doesn’t have the rot. The online game is also very good (even if it isn’t really introduced in a proper way I don’t even know what is the theme) and interesting given that as the story progresses the game becomes more real making clear the Putreskweez influencing the game at the same time that the line between reality and game becomes it fades away, gives an interesting layer to the story. Another aspect that is taken advantage of with the length of the story are the subplots. The one with chat is more a complement, even more than the others, it is used to show Tommy’s popularity and act more like an extension to Skweez influence and probably most of them aren’t real but they work for what it is. Two of them have a miniarc in which they start spunging and therefore become corrupted but one is only one line and the other has two which are strangely very far apart, the one that actually makes an impact is the NightStalker one, it’s simple but the way Night is establish like a rival and a voice of reason makes his downfall mean something (it would be a nice mini story). The only little problem is that the color of the user names are inconsistent and I think it is important given the ending in wich all the names are green to reflect the corruption. The one with Farrah is small being used to give a break of all the corruption with Tommy and Nester, a necessary given the length of the story so her lack of corruption isn’t a problem besides that it helps with the ending with a force corruption something very different and therefore more impactful. His influencer stuff is not flesh out given the impression to be a plot line for another time. Nevertheless it shows Nester corruption in a very good way with a normal person perspective something that Tommy couldn’t do and helps to the perception that she’s important to the story so I think it is good and this story is already long so restraining was the better choice. The one with Nester is the longest one and the corruption with her is pretty good. Similar to Tommy’s story line, this one also has a good progression in the corruption taking advantage with the irony of the sponge even adding the laundry that’s more satisfying because we see Tommy’s line of thought. All culminating with transition that she’s becoming her mother and MILF aspect that feels impactful because of the way it was written, feeling like a poetic conclusion. Her transformation may have been faster than Tommy, something that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but that liberty is a hit in orden to give us a better climax highlighting more with the previous scenes with Farrah ending with a fulfilling resolution. Speaking of the finally, I actually have somewhat mixed feelings, not the final part / transformation but the last paragraph. Ending with a sort of cliffhanger instead of a more conclusive one, like with an epilogue, gave me mixed feelings given the length of the story I was hoping for a conclusion. I spouse that with a continuation I would feel better with this and probably that will happen given the bunch of concepts that this story introduced a factor that contributes in my opinion that this story shouldn’t being a member exclusive especially with our first story with Putreskweez, since he didn’t appear in Rancid Reunion, but that’s my opinion at the end of the day. Even though I have small complaints, I have a lot more compliments to the story becoming one of my top 3 stories you have come up with. The ambition, scale and effort put into it is very clear a testimony to your love for writing and this universe. Was it worth waiting so long for a new story? Who knows! But I’m glad that you're still dedicated to continuing writing this stuff and I hope my review gives you motivation and to show that I care for this story.
Ma.L.A.
2025-07-09 00:53:40 +0000 UTCWow! Great wild rat man transformation story. I must admit I enjoyed the course of his transformation from human to naked alpha wild rat.
hellhound
2025-07-07 04:46:52 +0000 UTC
