I am in need of your help to continue doing ART

It's very difficult for me to write and ask about this, because I don't like begging + when I do so I feel like its only proper to write out my full situation, so I'll try to get to the point first and go into detail later so its easier to understand what it's about.


The problem

I've been on Social-support the past 3 years, due to mental and physical health issues, but now in the beginning of November, my support ran out. My mental issues are better, but I'm still plagued by unreliable patterns of fatigue which makes it harder/impossible  for me to produce things consistently, or having enough energy to do 3-5 commissions a month. Normal work is also out of the question. Which in turns means I won't get enough money to survive doing this(More info bellow)

So, how can you help?
If you like what I do, and want to see more, I kindly ask you to support me on Patreon, or any other way. Every little bit helps a lot!

And again, I really don't want it to be about money, and it's so hard for me to make it about that, but the truth is that i can't survive without it ^^,

I want to cater more towards patreons and make the benefits even more valuable, but to do that I also need to know what's valuable to you, and figure out a way for me to be able to do those things in a way that doesn't make things worse for me.

My current situation

       Economically
I have paid off my rent for out January. I have approx. 600 dollars in my bank. and around 1000 on PayPal. So I will be able to support myself with the money I have saved up for at least 3-4 ish months.

So it's not immediately dire, but 300 from patreon(which i lose about 50dollars on in transfers and whatnot to my bank) + maybe a commission every now and then is not enough to support myself on long term, especially if taxes gets introduced.

          Health
The past 5 years I've been fighting a deep depression and social anxiety; which I am now in a good situation with, im working on getting of my meds, and I feel less plagued by it then for as long as I can remember.

Stressing and soft manias
Being able to do commissions fulltime and work more is something I want to do, it's just not something I'm able to do in my current situation. And IK that I will stress myself out and get worse if I force myself into doing it even if i don't have energy.      
        It might seem like a small or weak thing, that i should suck up to. But I tunnel vision and burn myself out hard when i get stressed.  
It's something I've been really bad at recognizing before its to late, and its only in the two last months I've gotten better to actually give myself breathing room and relax.
        And trust me, forcing myself to do these things when im out of juice, is less productive in the long run, i've learned that the hard slow way.

Fatigue; It's gotten better since my deep depression, but it's still going strong from time to time, and it seems to be stronger in the winter seasons.
    I've been trying to find out what it is with my doctor, but he have not been able to find anything and he has not made much effort to cooperate with me to try to find it either.

I have over the last two year found out that i react to certain foods, and that it helps my gut and energy a lot to eat more meat focused, and cut down carbs a lot.
Increased physical activites, sunlight, and water consumption has also helped a fair bit, but it still dosnt stop from occuring.

I have several theories to what it might be, but I don't want to go to far into that without knowing with more certainty

Sinus headaches.
It's not as bad as before, but occasionally i get knocked out by these things as well

So these things makes it very hard for me to have any regular work I need to attend to everyday, and thats why I've dedicated my last 3 years into 3D, In the hopes that I will be able to support myself on this. Since then I don't have to get anxious and stressed out for not having energy to go to work. It enables me to start later if i need it.

Yes there's more paperwork but that's stuff i can handle, its a time schedule that my body isn't able to follow, and the anxiety of having to tell a worker that's a huge problem for me. Especially since i know it will make me depressed and worn out again having to do all of these things just to survive and on top of that most likely fall back into depression.

Why am I bringing these things up?
Because it feels wrong to me to ask for these things without explaining what im having problems with and what I'm trying to achieve. And i also want to show u that these are things that i have been struggling AND dealing with for a long time, and its almost a full time job in itself.

I also know how people can quickly jump to the gun and just calling me soft and lazy, yes, I am a lazy person, but this has nothing to do with it. I am more lazy BECAUSE of this, because these things can take so much energy from me, not the other way around.

What can I do in return?
- Thank you for supporting me and my dream
- I want to cater more towards patreon, and find out what would be of value to you guys.

       That could be:
Aside from my current patreon privilege's
Polls, model downloads, blender help, tutorials, a community to grow in and more.

But to do this I need to know what you guys want and to come in contact with you, and if it's something I'm able to do with my limited energy.

So I also need you to figure out these things as well, thats why this section is so short, because I need your help to figure these things out as well

Things that are/can problematic:

• Making NSFW - Pinup and soft risque is fine, but full on sex, or flashing genitals
• Selling models - It's something I want to do, but IK if i do that they will be distributed for free, and that people will use them for NSFW work, which is something I don't want my art and trademark to be associated with as of now
        Buying the rights for a character and license for such use, makes the situation a little bit different.
• Making tutorials - Its a very time demanding thing, and I do offer to help people 1 on 1 or in my discord from time to time, which i see more effective.

Me listing these does not mean its impossible to do, it's just things I have not fully figured out how to do yet, with my fatigue in mind.

IF I go totally broke, I can apply for more help from the state, but its like 700 for a whole month AND they will most likely require me to apply for other jobs, attend lectures and events (which means i wont have time for art).
This is something I strongly believe and think is going to burn me out even more and push me into a worse state. Which is the worst case scenario Im trying to avoid. So its not like Im going to get thrown at the streets. Its more a cry for help to continue what im doing!

I'm asking for this to soften this as much as possible, so that I have some time to build up. Because as i see it, this is the only way I can support myself and stay mentally healthy at the same time. 

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I'm sure this post is a bit messy, but I feel its important to point out all of these things for you to get a better image of the situation, and I'm sure there's a lot I'm not able to cover here as well ><


I'm honestly surprised if u got this far, and I really appreciate that you took your time to get to this point.

Thank you again for reading