Status Update

(January 28th, 2024)

Hello.
I'm sure you all have been wondering where I've been, or what's happened to me, and I'll tell you. Everything.

I am 22 years old. I live with my grandmother, my mother, and youngest sister. None of them are aware that I am not straight, have a Patreon account, or any presence on the internet for that matter; meaning, I cannot go for them or anyone else in my family regarding this, by any means.

My checking account is dead, and my bank has been sending me letters in the mail that I need to pay them back, all $513 dollars, or nothing.

I have had multiple offers to work for other people on the internet come and go over the past three months, and all of them have fallen through, whether that be due to
the project itself falling away, or me not being able to accomplish anything due to the debt destroying my work ethic. None of which have provided any income or stability.

I have received another offer this month, but it's too early to tell if it will lead to anything.

Every single job application that I have sent in the past three months has been denied. Either immediately, or after an entire week of waiting.

I have considered ending my own life on multiple occasions. No attempts have been made. Only a single individual that I am in contact with online is aware of this.

I have not worked on anything relating to you all in that time. At the time, I was desperate to make the money needed to pay the bank in time, plus all the commissions that I still owe everyone.

I shouldn't have taken that many requests at once. Every time I would even think about doing anything relating to it, I would physically be incapable of moving. I don't know what that means for me.

I have been making some improvements, art-wise. I have a SFW account where I've been able to do things again, keeping my mind off of this.

But that doesn't help you all out, does it? It's useless. Pointless.

What do you all think I should do? I'm at a loss.