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BenjaminKerei
BenjaminKerei

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Unorthodox Farming: New Chapter 17

Comments

Love the last two lies. Thanks for the chapters :) Possible Edits: Mum was behind them the moment dad tried to take a bite of his dinner, so now they're washing dished(dishes)." Misk handed me the hand mirror. ("x)

Iain Grubb

Somehow even funnier than the last one, I love it. The whole thing made me giggle like a kid, but Misk's joke at the end made me guffaw loud enough to surprise my daughter while she was getting ready for bedtime. Great work!

Matthew Wilmsmeyer

If Farentine had explained -> Farentine had explained

Aaron

Erroneous quotation mark after the following: Misk handed me the hand mirror. "

Aaron A. Cole

The changes are subtle, but very nice.

William Howe

“If Farentine had explained how to fix my problem, but if she had her way, I was going to be a teen heartthrob for almost a decade.”—> I think the first ‘if’ is not appropriate/needed. But you could add an ellipsis after ‘problem’, too.

William Howe

“so now they're washing [dished].”—> dishes

William Howe

“but [Frieng] Arnold only safe when inside."—> Friend

William Howe

‘Frabjous day!’

William Howe


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