Final Fantasy 6 and Junior High

Hey so here is my first long form writing for the patreon. Enjoy! 

Final Fantasy 6 and Junior High

By Gootz

When was the first time you realized games could be something more?

My first time was the summer of 1990 as part of my Nintendo Power subscription I would get a strategy guide every 2 months and one of those months was the guide for Final Fantasy.

At that point in my life it was the most confusing 96 pages I had ever seen outside a text book. Inside this magazine were spells, maps, dungeons, stats. It seemed more like advanced math that the gaming I was used to. It was overwhelming for 9 year old me. It turned me off completely and I never even attempted to pick the game up.

About a year and a half later I got my super nintendo. While I lvoed my NES the SNES games seemed to hint at something..more. I remember getting Zelda: link to the past. And while Zelda 1 and 2 had most of the world building in the manual. This was on the screen. I remember walking out of Link’s cabin into the dark and sotrmy night to go find my dad (or uncle) and something struck a cord. 

It seemed cinematic. 

After beating Zelda 3 I got more and more into role playing games on the SNES. I found that the stories in these games hit me on the same level a great book or comic would. It was a different fix than Sonic or Mario. And while I lvoe those games, for the first time the characters on screen weren’t jsut pixels. They felt like people. People who lived their lives, who had hopes, dreams, who fell in love and had their hearts broken. 

And never was this more apparent than Final Fantasy 6.

I got Final Fantasy 6 in 1994 for Christmas. I was in the 8th grade. In the old FF games you could rename the characters so I renamed everyone after people in my junior high school. When you first see the character you just have to name them by how they look. As I got going in the game I was shocked how so many of the characters resembled the people they were named after.

I love the ability to rename characters and wish it was in newer games. To me it adds a personal touch. It makes the quest mean more. It’s me and my friends trying to save the world not just some random anime kids. 

And of course one of the big things in Final Fantasy 6 is the main character is female. Her name is Terra.

I renamed her Sanjina. One of my first real crushes.

When I was younger the story of Final fantasy 6 seemed so sprawling and epic. Replaying it now it’s still epic but it is very straightforward. It’s rebels vs the empire. Magic is gone cause the king has captured all the espers and the human daughter of an esper Terra is being pursued by the empire. She befriends the rebels and they try to overthrow the king and bring magic back. It all goes wrong (which in 94 was MINDBLOWING) the world kinda sorta ends and you have to reunite everyone to save what’s left of the world from the mad clown Kefka. 

I had alot of fun with the game. I remember how cold the winter was that year and how cozy it was in my room playing the game while my mom made pot roast on Sundays. The SNES-N64 era were some of the last beautiful times of my life. I worked on FF 6 endlessly but I never beat it. I got stuck in the last dungeon because I didn’t farm enough spells. In particular Ultima. Which is a screen nuke spell. This happened to me with alot of SNES-PS1-n64 games. I’d go hard get to a point then stop. 

Life went on. Around 2002 I kinda fell off gaming. I would buy games and not really get too into them. At times I was buying just to buy. For example as a kid my aunt would get me 6 games for christmas. So in 2003 I went to gamestop on Christmas eve and got 6 games to try to recreate that feeling. It didn’t come. 

Then right before my mom got sick and died in 2015 I got into gaming again. I bought the 3ds and wii u and had a blast. I even started watching gaming youtubers and twitch streamers. For a moment I considered diving into streaming and stopping game over girls. In a way I guess we are here again.

When my Mom fell into a coma my 3DS was an amazing source of comfort. I would sit by her side and rather than stress about her waking up I would put all concentration on the game in my 3ds. Farming in monster Hunter 4 for material. Leveling up in Xenoblade. It was busy work that kept my mind from breaking.

Then she passed. Annnd I sorta fell into my old habits. Since 2015 I have bought way more games than I did in my 20s but I wasn’t playing them. I would buy them and stock up for a rainy day that never came.

Until this spring when I got the Final Fantasy Pixel remasters on PS4.

I had been holding off on getting a PS5 but when I saw the Spider-man 2 trailer I got ready to splurge. Then I thought “Why?” Why spend 500 dollars on a game you’ll play for 2 days?”

So I set a goal. A goal which I am still working on. I am going to do what I thought as a kid was impossible. I’m going to beat Final Fantasy 1-15 AND ONLY THEN will I get a PS5. I’m going to get my money’s worth on the pixel remasters.

To everyone out there wondering if the pixel remasters are worth it. I say yes. The PS4 and Switch versions of 1-6 are the best versions of these games ever made. They have so many quality of life upgrades. You can do 2 different soundtracks, you can change the font, you can adjust leveling, you can save anywhere. They are must-owns for any gaming lover.

And so starting in April I went. First I beat part 1. I was so proud of myself when I beat that. The story stunk but it was fun. Then 2. I gritted my teeth cause this is known to be unplayable. It’s not. I had a blast. And the story for NES was awesome. Then we got to 3. And 3 is easy until it gets to the last dungeon. Then it’s one of the hardest gaming experiences I’ve ever had. But I got thru it.

Then we got to 4. I never played 4.

4 has a story that had me hooked from when I pressed start. Playing it I felt bad for my child self that I never played this. I blew past it in a few days enjoying every second.

Then 5. That was tougher. 5 is not a hard game it’s just long and boring. 5 wasn’t released in north America on the SNES i get why. I would’ve shut it off right away. If your a leveling freak like if you like seeing characters learn new skills and evolve you’ll enjoy this. It’s for fans of the stats more than story.

Then 6 came.

Let me back up. To honor 6 I had gone thru 1-5 renaming my characters after my classmates when the game came out. So FF 4 was named after my 5th grade class. Ff 2 my second grade class and so on.

FF 6 started and Terra walks on in her mech suit. I renamed her Sanjina just like I did in 1994.

And that changed everything.

Since 1994 Sanjina and I went to high school and drifted apart. We reconnected in 2005 and I had discovered she was a writer. She gave me acees to her private blog and her words were beautiful. She wrote an mazing piece on high school and the excitement of every morning. We talked every day for a few months via email. And I think she was waiting for me to ask her out. I didn’t. 

We grew apart again. She got engaged in 2016. She wrote on Facebook about her desire to have a family. In early 2017 she died. She was only 36. 

That rocked my world for a while. I had never had a woman my own age die. And this was someone who, at different points of my life, I deeply cared for. My parent’s death was hard. But this was too. It felt like the death of those high school years. I felt so bad she didn’t get to start her family. She didn't get to teach like she one day wanted. She was gone and the world moved on.

But I always missed her.

Gonig thru Final Fantasy 6 with her now in Terra’s place. It felt like a do over. The group of kids that were my group in 1994....we Are never going to get back together and hang. Ever. But here we were working together to save the world and help Sanjina. In Terra’s quest she expresses a yearning to love, a yearning to have a child. These were the desires of Sanjina before her life was cut short. Here i was gathering up all our friends from 8th grade for one last quest. A quest I had failed back then. 

So this Sunday when I beat the game it was such a freeing feeling. At the very end Terra stands on an airship free from her past, free from Kefka she lets her hair down and takes in the wind. I felt like somewhere Sanjina was doing that too. We finally beat kefka. Terra was free. Maybe somewhere Sanjina’s spirit is free too.

As far as the game itself? Ok so the story is not as deep as it was to me in 94. But it’s a beautiful game. It is the pinnacle of the SNES. An incredible achievement of what artists can do with jsut a few pixels. There are so many characters but everyone stands out as a real person. Every character goes thru a journey of loss, love and redemption.

Battles are smooth, leveling up your magic is easy, it controls great, it never feels bloated or long for the sake of being long. Every second and every mission, even side ones feel necessary. I never once felt like I was wasting my time or that a dungeon was there to pad the game. A rare compliment for a long as hell game.  

It’s still to this day perhaps the best RPG of all time. 

So look I know many of you signed up here for Game Over Girls. To be honest the super bad ending of chrono triggger was one of my first inspirations for the bad ending gimmick. But these are the things I want to talk about and share with you. I’ve been short changing myself for years.

Sanjina wanted children she wanted to teach, to travel more. Her life was cut short. She was smarter and more brilliant than so many people I knew. Every day we have is a gift. And it’s a gift to do something we really want. Cause she doesn't have that anymore. She can’t go after the things she wanted.

I can.

And today I really wanted to tel lyou about her and Final fantasy 6.

I just started Final Fantasy 7. And...well I think the next review will be very different.

Talk soon guys.