June Check-In 🌿 Thank You & Mythseeker Update

Hi everyone~

I just wanted to begin this month by saying thank you. Truly. Whether you're a long-time supporter, free or paying, or lurkers from the void.

I’ve got another post scheduled later this week that goes into more pragmatic things—like potential tier changes, content feedback, some odds and ends. But for now, I’m just trying to ~gently~ nudge myself into being more communicative.

I've been away dog sitting (a good doggo, but its own form of chaos), but the universe loves brewing hellish storms—lately… the threshold in coping becomes, “well, no one is dying in front of me... and I'm not homeless! So things are fine. (:”

Which helps keep things in perspective; I do have so much to be thankful for. My health is so much better—thus, why we are here somewhat functioning than being bedridden like in years past. But I’m also realizing how this can become a mask for deeper pain and unmet needs. The less I ask, the less I speak, the less space I take—the more I spiral under the gravity of it all.

Some days I can't tell where it begins and ends—executive dysfunction, my own flaws, physical vs. mental, etc.? My brain often feels like it’s drowning in a poisoned bayou, even writing one Patreon post or reaching out to someone can take so much work. Few things feel worse than your own mind or body constantly revolting against you. But I have to, you know? What are the alternatives?

Writing and art are hard, sure. But it's the business aspects, networking, social media… that's where the oof lies. I love this part. I really do. I want to get better at it. There’s something deeply empowering about running a creative dream of this magnitude and connecting with others along the way. Life and chronic illness just makes me want to scream and disappear into the woods for the next eternity. (I tried this a few times, has yet to work out. But, I believe Bilbo was onto something when he needed to get to some mountains to finish his dadgum book. Mood.)

If you’re someone who also struggles with energy, motivation, finances, or health—know that I see you. Don't give up on those dreams, especially in times like these. Don't let the bigger picture or fears overwhelm you. I have to remind myself the progress I’ve made has come from micro steps, getting back on the saddle again and again... and learning to care for myself like I would care for someone I love.

Despite everything, Mythseeker's fire is still burning. Sometimes it even burns too bright and too hot. But that willpower, that grief-induced hope and feral spite… it keeps me going. I have an overflowing backlog of ideas, dreams, and goals. That is half the battle.

I know this shouldn't be a one ma'am band. My friends have (lovingly!) pointed out just how much I’ve taken on, usually with a mix of awe, concern, and “yer doing WHAT now?” . They’re not wrong, it is indeed… a lot. I do dream of hiring help someday, but for now, I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

I’m currently working on finalizing Volume 1, so most of my focus lately has been on writing and editing. I usually rotate on tasks (art, concepting/research, website stuff, etc.) but lately the biggest priority is the story itself. So much can’t move forward until it's done!

I'm trying. Trying to draw and write. But trying to remember that not being okay is okay. Trying to take care of myself, within grief, illness, and eldritch horrors of to-do lists. Trying to keep Mythseeker alive—and moving toward a release, sooner than later.

This project has done so much for me. Helped me stay alive. Helped me heal. Helped reignite my creative passions. Helped me connect with others again, and especially myself. I don’t want to let go of that. So I’m not. [spite!]

From the both wayward and wearied cracks of my heart, this story still lives, and I do too. So… thank you again.

💚 Susannah