The Lost BitMusical Songs [Part 1]

Well, now that things are wrapping up soon I can pull the curtain back on my mega-BitMusical document! It's got plenty of song ideas I was cooking up; most of them just the idea but a few with some semblance of lyrics to them. So I'll be giving my behind-the-scenes reveals and thoughts about some of these and we can all picture them in our minds together...! I know, not as cool as seeing them live but I think they're fun ideas. Let's go!

Beautiful

Game: Banjo-Kazooie

Featuring: Brentilda and Gruntilda

Style: Loosely based on “Popular” from Wicked

If I could’ve made a few more songs, this one likely would’ve become a real thing. Especially with the timing being so fortuitous with the movie version of Wicked! In this loose parody of Wicked’s “Popular”, Grunty is looking to become more beautiful and asks her sister for advice. Brenty goes into all the different makeups, fashion, accessories etc. It works for part of the song but then Grunty ends up deciding to take the easy way out and use a machine to drain Tooty of her looks, much to Brenty’s dismay.

CD-i-pera

Game: The Legend of Zelda: Faces of Evil

Featuring: Link, King Harkinian, Gwonam, Zelda, Ganon

Style: Opera

Pretty simple premise, a sung-through version of the CD-i Zelda(s) cutscene(s), in dramatic opera fashion. Not sure if this would've been enough to sustain a song or not...

Eario, Janitor of the Mushroom Kingdom

Game: Super Mario Bros. series

Featuring: Eario

Style: Swiss yodeling!

Eario would’ve gotten his own song! This would be pretty accessible about Eario’s job and require no previous knowledge from BitF, etc. Would’ve been a bouncy, Swiss kind of number with plenty of yodeling! “Eario-ooo-ooo—oo—oooo…”

Dressed to Kill

Game: The Legend of Zelda series

Featuring: Ganondorf

Style: Not sure

Another Ganon song! This one would poke fun at how over-designed some characters are and how long it would take to get dressed, do laundry, etc when you’re worring about all these little loincloths and straps and tabbards, etc. Very much in the Weird Al style of finding humor in the mundane.

Earthquake

Game: Chrono Trigger

Featuring: Lavos

Style: Feminist pop ballad

I don’t know how I came up with this one but it’s a very feminine Lavos from Chrono Trigger (basically the porcupine thing as you know it but with long lady legs at the bottom) singing her (?) heart out. Thing is, the lyrics are all double-entendres about destroying the world while also sounding empowering. Here are a bunch of scattered phrases, they don’t really rhyme or anything but you get the idea:

Like an earthquake,

I’ll make the Earth shake.

I’ll rock the world

Some men just wanna keep me down

I'll shatter glass ceilings [literally breaking the domes in 1999 AD via fireballs]

My time has come to make my impact, my mark on history

Still I rise, coming out of my shell, this is me

Can’t hold it back anymore

I am Lavos, hear me roar (gutteral Lavos noise)

OTHER, LOOSER IDEAS

-Plumbershop Quartet I think could’ve been a recurring feature. The first song would be “You Numba One” but there could be others. I think it’s a good enough concept to work for it.

-A song featuring forgotten Nintendo characters. It never got any further than that but it could be fun with all the cameos and as a sort of challenge to the listeners. It would end with a “how many did you recognize” question and an “obscure knowledge” ranking for the viewer.

-A fully belched song. I’m pretty good at burping, but is the world ready for this? Almost certainly not.

More to come later!

-Matthew