BitMusical Bonus: The CK Rap

Hey everyone, I'm still hard at work on Ganon with One N and it should probably be ready sometime next week, so stick around. In the meantime, enjoy this bonus track! It's time for Silly Songs with Matthew!

This is "The CK Rap," a Cranky-centric follow-up to the (in)famous DK rap. I considered having it as a full song for a while, but I decided I'd just go ahead and put it up as a bonus instead. Now, it's all one take, uses the existing DK Rap instrumentals and isn't mixed or anything, so don't go in expecting the usual amount of polish. That said, I hope you enjoy!

Lyrics:

He's the elder of the bunch, you know him well

He's got a trick back, a musty smell.

He battled Mario in '81, and now he forwards political memes for fun.

His teeth are fake and his hip is too,

He's the first member of the C-K crew! Huh!

C-K! Cranky Kong!

C-K! Cranky Kong is almost here...

This gal's got style, Cranky's sweet old wife,

'Til that fateful day when she lost her life.

She's been a ghost since her last breath

And Cranky's been mournin' her untimely death, YO!

The great ones always leave us too soon...

This crazy Kong just digs this tune! Huh!

C-K! Dude, Cranky's friggin' old...

Now this whippersnapper knows no loyalty,

He left Cranky's side after '83

And went on to headline a major franchise,

But squandered his fortune on parties and ties.

He used to rub ointment on Cranky's leg rash

Now he only comes home so he can borrow cash. UNGH.

C-K...C-K C-Cranky Kong...C...K-C-K-...Cranky's--

Finally he's here for you, it's Cranky's father making his debut!

This Kong's so old, it isn't funny. I'm pretty sure he's legally a mummy!

He kidnapped the wife of President Taft, her

Cries for help guided Taft up the rafters

Stole a mammoth's bananas and I believe that he tossed barrels at Adam and Eve.

C'mon, Cranky. Let's do this thing. Whatcha got left over?

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple chunks

These are the foods that give him acid reflux. Oh yeah!

Porridge, prune juice, gray liver spots

Wheelchairs and kidney stones and hospital cots. Aw yeah!