A Moment In Time | KNJ | DAY ONE

 Pair: Namjoon x f!reader

Summary: You’ve had a crush on Namjoon for as long as you could remember. Living with him didn’t help keep those feelings in check, but his girlfriend did. Until the day they broke up. And when your friends suggested that Namjoon finds a one night stand to get over his now-ex, what happens when he looks at you for a favor? 

Genre and warnings: Mini-series (split in 4 parts, 41k total), fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, best friend au, roommate au, rebound au.

WC: 7k

Intro

Namjoon might be the best roommate you’ve ever had.

Despite his furniture-bumping tendencies, the big guy was organized, always cleaning up after himself, he couldn’t stand leaving dirty dishes in the sink, his dirty clothes never stayed inside the hamper for too long, his share of the rent was never late, and he always remembered to replace your groceries whenever he took something that was yours. 

Unfortunately, nowadays he felt exactly like that. A roommate. Not your close friend of years. 

You met Namjoon ages ago, when you were still a broke university student. He was the friend of a friend who needed a place to stay when you needed to fill up the vacant spot after your previous roommate failed all her classes and decided to drop out. You weren’t particularly excited to share a living space with a boy, let alone a complete stranger, but taking him in might have been one of the best decisions you ever made. 

His quiet ways, humble intelligence and nerdy tendencies fit right in with your life and friend group. From Pokémon Go adventures, museum lunches, movie marathons and failed cooking attempts, Namjoon became a steady part of your life. 

Now the two of you were settled enough in your careers that you could manage a place for yourselves and yet you still chose to live together for the familiarity of things. If not for the savings you were able to keep in your bank account at the end of the month, then for the fresh brewed cup of coffee in the mornings.

You knew this wouldn’t last forever and you promised yourself to be okay with that, whenever the time came for Namjoon to move in with Soyoon, his steady girlfriend of a couple of years now. You kinda liked the girl; she was nice enough and never complained about the fact that her boyfriend lived with another girl, she always tried to be social whenever you managed to convince Namjoon to stay for movie night with the rest of your friends, and she seemed to make him happy. 

You didn’t exactly see how the two of them were still together, when they seemed to be so different from each other. While Namjoon was an art lover, nature enthusiast, someone who always had a new book to recommend, a soft spoken and responsible guy, Soyoon was in a punk band. She wore dark clothes and heavy makeup, always smelled like cigarettes and avoided the sun like a vampire. 

Her edgy style was so different from his, but you guessed that’s what he liked most about it. Opposites attract and all that. 

You were sitting on the big couch of the living room, channel surfing after giving up on picking something from one of the many streaming services you had. While you contemplated starting the new Chinese Drama Sohee couldn’t stop raving about, you heard the front door unlock. 

You looked over your shoulder to watch the kitchen lights turn on for a few moments, then turn off again. A minute later, your friend appeared in your line of vision, making you smile. You hadn’t seen him before he left for date night, but Namjoon looked good; he was wearing the brown leather pants Hoseok got him for his birthday last year and a long sleeved beige shirt that complimented his tanned skin. 

“You’re home early.” you greeted him, pressing the mute button on the remote control.  “How was dinner? Did you try the garlic bread?”

“I did, yeah.” he nodded, sounding a little tired. “Brought some back for you, it’s in the kitchen.” 

“Oh my god, yes!” you closed your eyes momentarily, excitement settling in your tummy at the thought of the snack that awaited you. When you opened them again, Namjoon was dropping to the cushion next to yours. “Is Soyoon still parking? I can go to my room if you guys are planning on watching a movie here.”

“Nah, she didn’t come with me.” 

You watched as the man settled against the back of the couch, shoulders a little droopy, eyes unfocused. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out something happened during the dinner. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked while turning your body to face him. 

“Her band is going on tour.”

“Holy shit, for real?!” you gasped, marveled at the news. “Where?”

“America.” his court answer was void of any excitement, but you still tried.

“That’s a huge deal, oh my god, congratulations.” you reached out to squeeze his shoulder, but it felt stiff. “You must be so proud.”

“It’s small venues, but yeah, it’s a pretty big deal.” Namjoon agreed, offering you a dimple-less smile. “I’m happy for her.”

“Are you?”

You knew Namjoon didn’t exactly do well with separation for long periods of time. He wasn’t the clingy kind of boyfriend by no means, but he still lived in the same city as his parents, and the last time Jungkook went abroad for work, he called the guy every day for a week. You thought it was endearing, really, you could see some of that in your own personality. 

That might as well explain why he came home like a kicked puppy instead of someone who just had celebratory sex. 

And then his next words came out as a complete shock to you. 

“We broke up. Well, she broke up with me.” his laugh was void of emotions, making your eyebrows pinch. “Said it was time for her to focus on her career and this tour, without having to worry about life back home.”

“I’m so sorry, Joonie.”

“The worst part is that I get it.” Namjoon continued and you let him work his thoughts that must be going miles a minute. “This could be her big break, you know? I wouldn’t want her to resent me for holding her down or stopping her from enjoying this fully.”

“Yeah… But I still feel for you.” your hand was still on his shoulder, dropping to his arm as you gave it a comforting squeeze. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t think so.”

It hurt you to know that Namjoon was definitely bottling up his feelings; he wasn’t the type of person to open up easily and let people see him cry. You knew he loved Soyoon, he was excited for his date tonight, so he must’ve felt blindsided by the news. It probably stung even more to know that the breakup didn’t come because either of them did something wrong, it wasn’t even because one of them stopped having feelings for the other. 

If Soyoon’s reasoning was the truth, then this breakup was the case of ‘right person at the wrong time’ and you hated that for Namjoon. 

“Well, you just let me know.” you were what your friends called a fixer. Be it helping Seokjin look for a new job when he was let go of his previous one or finding a home for a cat you saw in the streets. “If you need me to take over the chores for a few days… Or go to her house and steal her guitar.”

At least that got a genuine chuckle out of him. 

“I will, thanks.” Namjoon looked at you then, bloodshot eyes telling you more than he probably wanted to. “Guess I’ll head in, then.”

“Yeah, okay.” if he wanted to lock himself up in his room until he made sense of his night, you’d let him. But not before: “Hey, Joonie?”

“Hm?”

Namjoon was already off the couch when you called him, lazy steps leading him to the door of his bedroom. 

“There’s ice cream in the fridge and I got the whole Fast and Furious movies rented on my Youtube account.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You saw the shadow of a new smile on his lips, so that could be enough for you for now. 

You knew how it felt to go through a bad breakup, to be the one on the short end of the stick. You knew what it was like to face it alone, so you’d do your very best to make sure the same didn’t happen with Namjoon. 

Yeah, that’s what you’d do. 

Maybe that would make you feel less guilty about the small, teeny tiny glimmer of hope that settled in your chest. 

Giving up on finding anything good enough to watch tonight, you turned the TV off and got up from the couch. Inside the small kitchen, right on top of the spotless counter, you found the cardboard box with the takeout garlic bread Namjoon brought home for you. You wondered if he ordered it just for you, or if these were leftovers from the table. 

You wouldn’t mind either of those possibilities, but one of them in particular made your heart a little happier. 

You opened the box, breathing in the cheesy and garlicky smell, picking up a breadstick and taking a big bite before realizing that the food was still too warm to have sat on the table while the breakup conversation happened. 

“Hey.” Namjoon’s surprise appearance made you cover your mouth with your hand, hurrying to swallow the bite as he watched you with a soft smile. 

“Do you need my password?” you checked, even if you were sure he knew how to log into your movie catalogs. 

“No, I got it.” he shook his head, walking past you to throw his recently worn clothes into the hamper at the back. Pajamas always looked the softest on him. “Do you think you can help me get a refund on my cut for the trip?”

“Sure. But you mean yours or hers?”

“The whole thing, I guess.”

“Joooooon. Are you pulling out?” you groaned, dropping the garlicky bread back in the box and patting your hands in the sink to clean them. “You’ve been looking forward to this trip. We all have.”

“I know, I just don’t think I’m in the mood for that now.” he reasoned, lips pulled into a frown. “I don’t want to drag anybody down and ruin this trip for everybody by being sour.”

“It’s still a few weeks away, don’t give up on it just now.” you countered, using your best pair of pleading eyes. “Besides, even if you’re still sad about the breakup by then, everyone will understand and support you. We can get drunk by the beach and shit-talk her.”

“I don’t know…”

Namjoon never used to resist your puppy eyes, even if he was putting up a great fight right now. 

The trip in question had been in the making for the best part of a year by now. Your friend group was in great need of a week getaway, to escape the busy city and lounge on a beach for a few days. Because of your busy jobs and different schedules, it took a lot to get everyone on board and book this trip to Jeju. 

Initially, Soyoon was supposed to come on this trip with the group, so you understood Namjoon’s reservations about still making it to the island himself. But pulling out now wouldn’t do him any better and you knew it would be something he’d regret in the future. 

“Tell you what, I’ll make the calls tomorrow and get your refund for her cut.” you told him as an olive branch. “If we get closer to the trip and you still don’t want to come, I’ll pay for yours myself.”

His head cocked sideways as his eyes squinted: “I’m not gonna let you do that.” 

“Then I guess you better come with us.” you grinned. 

“I’ll think about it.”

DAY ONE

Seokjin was behind the wheel of the rented minivan that was taking your group from the airport to the rented house you’d be sharing for the next few days. Namjoon, the only of you that didn’t drive, was his copilot, not only following the directions on his phone, but he also got to be the one responsible for the music. 

In true Namjoon fashion, the man decided that you should all listen to the sound of nature, as neither of you had the crashing waves or birds chirping while living in Seoul. No one seemed to complain too much about that, the six of you being on vacation mode since you stepped into the plane that brought you to the island. 

You were sitting right behind Jin, the window next to you opened halfway to let the salty air inside. On the seat next to you, Sohee was almost falling asleep with the rocking of the car on the dirt road. Jungkook and Hoseok were sharing the row behind you, both with their phones in hand. 

“Did you know they have a sex park?” Jungkook commented after having read something on whatever travel website he was browsing. 

“Is that for people to go and have sex?” Hoseok snorted, making you look behind you to hear more about their nonsense. 

“No, I think they just have sculptures and stuff.” the youngest of your group giggled, a sound discordant to his full tattoo sleeve and the many piercings decorating his round face. “But I like where your mind is at.”

“There are also waterfalls and hidden trails.” Namjoon pipped from the front. “Think of all the hiking we can do here.”

A chorus of groans filled the car, every single person denying the hidden invitation to wake up early and climb mountains, including yourself. Although you did laugh at the scowl in the man’s face as he turned around and chided:

“You don’t have to come with me!”

“I heard there’s a pretty cool restaurant that does game nights and karaoke not too far from our villa.” Sohee added to the conversation, sitting up straight to shoo the sleepy away. “Apparently an idol guy stayed there for a while, living a normal life and hiding from the media.”

“If he was hiding there, how do you know all that?” you wanted to know; not that you doubted your friend’s gossip skills. She did work at a magazine afterall. 

“Some of his members came looking for him and attracted the attention of the fans.” she explained, quickly losing interest in the shared, lukewarm tea.

“Damn, that’s rough. I can’t imagine wanting to disappear like that and not being able to.” Jungkook lamented, but quickly found something else on his phone to read about.  

You had only been in Jeju once before, and you were way too young to remember a single thing. Besides the family pictures stored in your parents’ old photo albums and the many Tiktoks and Pinterest pins you saw while planning this trip, you felt very excited about seeing all of this for the first time. 

The vast ocean was to your right and green mountains to your left. A few clouds were coloring the bright blue sky and the sun was shining on that early August afternoon. It was just after the summer craze, so you could expect the island to not be bustling with tourists at every corner, but you could still very much enjoy the warm weather.

As soon as the car slowed down and made it onto a narrower street, you knew you were finally getting to the Airbnb and you couldn’t wait to see it in real life. There were no gates waiting for you, no fences. The only thing that let you know you were at the right spot was the wooden sign that read Welcome To Indigo. 

“Alright, losers, we’re here.” the driver parked the car, bringing it to a full stop but not making a move to get out. “Who’s coming with me to get groceries?”

“I’m not cooking shit, so I’ll help with the bags.” Namjoon was the first one to unbuckle and hop out, walking around the car to open the sliding door on your side. 

“I’m the one with the codes and everything, so I guess I have to stay too.” you told the group, excited about stretching your legs and being still for a little while. “But I don’t trust either of you three to go with Jin.”

“Oh, have a little faith in us!” Sohee complained, getting out of the car after you just for some fresh air. “I’ll get us booze.”

“Okay, so that’s Sohee and Hobi for the alcohol, Jin you got the food.” you decided while picking up your backpack from the floor of the car and throwing it over your shoulder. “Jeon, you’re with Namjoon and I.”

“Whyyy?” Jungkook was moaning from the back seat. “I wanna see the island!”

“We need more muscle right now, we can go explore later.” you offered, watching Namjoon pop the trunk open after Jin pressed a button and starting to pull your suitcases out. “Besides, don’t you want the first pick for your room?”

“Nuh uh, we’re not picking rooms before we’re all here, last time it happened, I ended up on the couch!” Hoseok complained as a very excited Jungkook got out of the vehicle.  

“Don’t worry, Hobi, last time we were all broke and couldn’t splurge.” you assured him with a small wink. “There’s enough rooms for everybody.”

That seemed to settle the man for the time being as he jumped seats to take your now empty spot. Sohee moved to the front seat to ride beside Jin, already connecting her phone to the car bluetooth. You wanted to be of more help, but between Namjoon’s long legs and Jungkook’s muscles, the two of them carried all of the suitcases to the front door before you were even done locating the information to unlock the house on your notes. 

The outside of the house was painted blue –hence its name–, big windows had the curtains open so you could see the entrance area. The exterior of the villa was made of green grass, flower bushes and orange trees, and based on the pictures on the app, the yard surrounded the whole house like this. 

The digital panel at the front door beeped when you clicked the numbers 221202, the unlocking sound following as you pushed the door open. This time you helped the two men bring the bags inside, keeping them out of the way for whenever the other three returned with the groceries. 

“I really can’t pick my room first?” Jungkook looked at you with round, sweet eyes, having you when he pouted. 

“Go on, we can tell the others you won rock, papers, scissors.” you rolled your eyes and watched him fist bump the air and rush down the hall. 

You looked at Namjoon in time to watch him break into a dimpled laugh before looking around. The entrance was quite simple, white walls and a few generic paintings here and there. You both took your shoes off at the same time and stepped into complimentary slippers before moving to explore the house. 

The main area of the house had walls made of stone and floors with dark blue tiles. The kitchen and living room were joined and open, the back of the couch separated from the dining table by a few feet. A big TV was up on the main wall, with a few DVD options and board games in the unit beneath it. The space had big windows and a french door that led outside. 

To the right of the kitchen, a long corridor directed you to seven bedrooms that made up the sleeping quarters of the house. Instead of fighting Jungkook for a room, both you and Namjoon made your way to the backyard for a bit more sun and quiet. 

“So, what do you think?” you asked as you removed your house slippers and stepped onto warm grass. 

“You did a good job finding this place.” Namjoon’s chest expanded as he took a long, deep breath. 

“Thanks.” you agreed, looking around to see the different sitting areas spread around, listening to the ocean that was just a few feet down the path. “Although I can’t take all the credit, Jimin was the one who recommended it for us.”

“You were still the one to make the reservation.” 

“I just clicked a few button on an app–”

“Will you let me praise you?” his chuckle was deep, catching you a little unprepared. 

“Kinky.” you matched his laugh, pretending your heating cheeks were caused by the sun. “You’re okay, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Namjoon shrugged, walking ahead and you followed after him. “Just because I envisioned every second of this trip to be spent next to someone I loved?”

“Ouch.” you grimaced with a small hint of sadness to hear Namjoon’s plans most likely only included Soyoon, not the rest of you.

“I’m okay.” he told you then, but you were hardly convinced. “Don’t give me that look, I mean it. It helps that we haven’t been here before. There are no memories attached to this place.” 

“Good. If you ever need to do your own thing away from the group, or if the others get too much, you can step away and have your space, okay?” 

Namjoon stopped and looked at you then; really looked, in a way that had you feeling small under his gaze. “I don’t deserve you.” 

“Very few do.” you raised a shoulder, liking the way his lips opened into a smirk. 

“Smug.” his eyebrows twitched and one of them raised. “I like that.”

This was new, while being the most common thing between you. At least the old you. Before Taehyung, and before Soyoon. This… Harmless flirting was part of your relationship with your friend. You matched each other’s teasing energy and you could hold your ground. You knew it didn’t mean anything, but it still made your stomach flip just like before. 

Maybe things could go back to how they were. 

Maybe you could get your Namjoon back.  

“Hyung! Noona! Come see my room!”

 “Yah, if you’re not going to help, don’t stand in my way!” Seokjin swore he didn’t mind cooking for you, even if he already had to do that every day at his job, but you were starting to doubt that after all of the times he scolded your group tonight. 

“You told us to come taste it!” you giggled, reaching for a piece of kimbap before the man swatted your hand away. 

“No, I told you to come pick up the food to bring it outside!” the man’s ears were as red as his cheeks after spending so much time in the kitchen. 

“You’re no fun, oppa.” Sohee pouted and suddenly Seokjin’s ears were burning for a whole different reason. 

Annoying Seokjin was always fun, but since you pretty much depended on him for most of your meals from now on, you stopped trying to get on his bad side and picked up the plate with the perfectly made store-bought kimbap. Sohee grabbed the boiled dumplings and Seokjin had the big bowl of rabokki. 

It was still nice out, the sun was just starting its descent in the sky, hiding behind the house, so you were able to grab a couple of the spare sheets and lay them down on the grass at the edge of the backyard. From there you could be close to the sand that led into the beach, feeling the breeze and partaking in people watching while still keeping your privacy. 

The boys had already brought the other dishes and empty bowls, as well as extra chopsticks and bottles of soju. Jungkook and Hobi were sitting side by side, discussing which brand of the alcohol was best, while Namjoon was trying to make sure none of the cutlery touched the grass.

Sohee took the spot between Jungkook and Namjoon, while Jin settled on Namjoon’s other side and you were left to sit between the eldest and Hoseok. It didn’t take long for everyone to start eating and for the first few minutes, no one talked. 

“I think that’s the restaurant I told you guys about.” Sohee pointed to a spot a few miles away, where you could see lights and hear music coming from. “Think it could be worth a visit?” 

“I mean, if even an idol used to go there, it must be good.” you agreed, reaching for a slice of kimbap now that no one would scold you for it. “We can check it out tomorrow.”

After the boys and Sohee got back from the nearest market and you played the stairs game to split the remaining bedrooms, all six of you decided that you should stay in tonight. After the flight and car ride, you were all still getting used to the chill island life, there was no reason to rush. 

“I wanted to be an idol.” Hoseok of all people admitted, making everyone stare at him in surprise. “What? I did!”

“You don’t sing, hyung.” Jungkook pointed out, mouth full of mandu. 

“No, but I dance.” Hoseok scoffed, shrugging his shoulders as he passed around glasses of soju to everyone. “I think I could rap, too, given the proper training.” 

“I don’t think I could ever do any of that.” you were shaking your head as you bowed your head in thanks for the drink. “I’m fine with doing my job behind a screen.”

“What about you, hyung?” Jungkook looked at Namjoon, who was yet to participate much in the conversation tonight. 

You knew Namjoon could get into his own head sometimes, someone full of thoughts as deep as his. Living with him for several years made you used to that and you had ways to bring him back to the present a little more smoothly than Jungkook, but it got the job done. 

Namjoon blinked a couple of times as if waiting for the maknae’s question to compute in his brain, before saying: “I used to write lyrics here and there, but nothing serious. Maybe in another universe I pursued that.”

“Jin could be an idol, too. He’d definitely be the visual.” Sohee brought the attention to Seokjin, who almost inhaled a chunk of rice that went down the wrong path. 

“Oh, yeah! Or maybe a romantic interest in a drama.” you jumped on that, waving your chopsticks after serving a small bowl of rabokki for yourself. “Oppa’s the kind of guy I’d have a poster of on my wall growing up.”

“Hey, you still can.” the handsome man sent you a wink with finger guns, making you laugh. 

Dinner was consumed just like that, with an easy conversation that led nowhere, updates of everyone’s lives that didn’t revolve around this group, catching up and gossiping about the other friends that couldn’t make it to this trip. Your belly was full and your heart was light. 

As night time started to fall, the empty dishes were taken inside the house and more soju bottles were brought out, alongside coats and extra blankets in case it got too cold. 

“Look at the moon.” Namjoon pointed out to the rest of you, everyone looking up to the sky to see the full satellite and its reflection in the ocean. “You definitely don’t see views like this back at home.” 

“Bet you don’t regret not pulling out now, huh?” you quipped, satisfied with yourself for convincing him to come. 

“Wait, Joon was pulling out?” Hobi looked as offended as he looked drunk, red face and lazy eyes showing just how much he had to drink. 

Jungkook wasn’t doing much better as he missed the whole point: “That’s a perfectly reasonable form of contraceptive–”

“I thought about it once, but Yn made me change my mind.” Namjoon told Hoseok before shaking his head. “And no, Kook, it’s not.”

“I’m not sure if I should be concerned or offended.” Seokjin mumbled behind his shot glass. 

“Both sound like a good way to feel.” Sohee was sending concerned looks towards Jungkook, who didn’t have a care in the world, opening another bottle. 

“In my defense, I just went through a breakup.” Namjoon continued to defend himself, rubbing a hand on his short hair. “I was blindsided, too, so give me a break.”

“In my opinion, it was fucked up what she did.” Sohee started, loose lips ready to give her opinion on the subject.  “It’s not like you couldn’t take more vacation time and go on tour with her.”

“I don’t think being away from hyung was the problem here.” Jungkook was nodding his agreement. “Sounds like she wanted to fuck around on the road, which I can respect.”

“Kook-ah,” you reprimanded. “Remember what we talked about? Some thoughts are for our heads only.”

Namjoon wasn’t upset, however, as he laughed it off. “It’s fine, I’ve thought about that too.”

“How have you been, Joon? Really?” Sohee pulled her hoodie a little higher on her neck as a gust of wind swept through all of you.

As far as you were aware, this was the first time Namjoon really talked about the breakup to your group, besides when he had to break the news and tell everyone what happened. And you doubted any of you could get much out of him if it wasn’t for the empty green bottles on the grass. 

“I can’t say I never think about her, or that I don’t miss her sometimes.” Namjoon replied, picking up a twig that ended up on the sheet you were all sharing. “But I haven’t been eating my body weight in ice cream anymore. And I moved past the Fast and Furious phase.”

“And we’re all proud of you.” Hoseok raised his glass in a toast. “That was a lot of ice cream.”

“And I swear if you send another Vin Diesel gif to the group chat–” Jungkook’s glass was in the air a second later.

“Guess I just need to get used to the ‘being lonely’ part.” Namjoon raised his glass as well, unsure of why he was doing it. 

“Hey, what are we? Chopped liver?” Jungkook knocked back the rest of his drink, pulling a face before moving to get another. 

“Not that kind of lonely.” Namjoon scratched behind his ear as he let the confession hang heavy. 

You distracted yourself with pouring drinks to whoever offered their glasses when you opened a new bottle of the flavored version of the drink. You were starting to sweat a little under your hoodie, blaming the slightly tipsy state you found yourself in. 

A second too late, Jungkook understood what he meant, eyes round and cheeks puffy.

“Please tell me you've had sex after the break up.” Hoseok sounded genuinely concerned for his friend. 

“Of course I have.” Namjoon didn’t miss a beat. 

But neither did you: “He meant fucked someone else, Joon.”

“Wait, you hooked up with your ex?!” Sohee reached out to slap his arm, making Namjoon send you a glare. 

“Nooooo, that's rule number one of how to get over your ex! Don't fuck with them after the breakup!” Jin’s voice was high pitched as it traveled. 

“Jesus, no wonder you're still scowling.” Hoseok’s neck cracked as his eyes widened comically. 

“Did you have to tell them?!” Namjoon nagged you, but you raised a hand in self defense. 

“Did you have to bring her to the apartment?”

“That's your problem, then! How can you expect to get over her if you're still getting under her?” Jungkook questioned, making Seokjin laugh. 

“How long did you hold onto that one?” you teased the boy, who was too far gone to care. 

“No, no, Jk got a point. Why do you think someone came up with the concept of rebounds?” Hoseok said. 

“I'm not like that.” the man in question squirmed a little bit, you could tell he was starting to get a little uncomfortable. 

“Then maybe you should be, hyung.”

“Don't let them pressure you, Joon.” you reached out to your friend, hoping he wouldn’t let things get into his head. “Rebounds aren’t for everyone.”

You knew what was coming as soon as you heard Jin snort. “You can't say that.”

“There's no shame in it, we've all done it.” Sohee seemed to agree, too. 

“I know, I'm not judging- wait, all of you?”

Namjoon could have looked at Sohee, she was the one saying it. Or at Jungkook, who had the biggest body count of all of you. Yet, it was into your soul that he stared at. It didn’t help that none of your pesky so-called friends covered for you. 

“When?!” 

“I've been going through some shit when Tae and I broke up!” you spilled.

“You were?” Namjoon sounded softer now, concerned. 

“She didn't leave her room for a week, Jin and I had to come over and feed her.” Sohee had a pout on her lips and you couldn’t help the little sting at the memory. 

“How come I didn't know that?” Namjoon’s voice was small and pained, eyes searching for yours. 

“It's alright, Joon. You and Soyoon had just started going out, you were preoccupied with other things.” you shrugged, trying to downplay it. It’s been a long time ago.  

“Doesn't mean I should be an asshole to my best friend.” he sounded gutted, but you hadn’t heard him call you that in such a long time that you didn’t care that he wasn’t there for you during your own breakup. “So you just… Went out and picked up a stranger?” 

Sohee and Hoseok cackled and you sent them both daggers with your eyes. Those reactions made Namjoon sigh and tilt his head, as if bracing himself for the worse. 

“Not exactly.” you were more than a little meek. “I solicited the help of a friend. You know. Someone I trusted.”

“Who?!” Namjoon’s eyes were wide as he looked around the circle. “Jungkook?!”

“Why does everyone think I fuck everybody?!” Jungkook screeched, before turning to you: “And why didn’t you ask me, noona?!”

Ignoring the doe eyed boy, you said: “I asked Yoongi.”

“Oh, damn, and he said yes?” Namjoon wanted to know. 

“Stupid question, Joon.” Jin scoffed behind his glass, but that reply was oddly satisfying. 

You couldn’t say you were exactly desperate when you brought the subject up to Yoongi, you would hardly say that sleeping with him was a sacrifice. But you were heartbroken after Taehyung broke up with you. Nowadays you could say you were civil with your ex, he was still a somewhat active member of your close friend group, but you still caught yourself thinking about the ‘what ifs’ of your failed relationship with him. 

“So you’ve all just… Rebounded?” Namjoon, bless his soul, was still having a hard time with that concept. 

“It really helps, it’s been scientifically proven.” Hoseok nodded with barely open eyes.

“I’d like to see the papers.” Namjoon wouldn’t buy that so easily. 

And to that, Sohee opened her arms, almost spilling her drink and she motioned to all of you: “You have four successful study cases right here.”

“But we mean it, Joon, just because it worked for us doesn’t mean it would work for you.” you tried to be the voice of reason, even if everyone else was working against you. “If it’s not your thing, don’t stress about it.”

 It was just after midnight when you made sure all of your friends were in bed, ready to sleep off the drunkenness. By being the designated-barely-sober friend, you granted yourself a pass tomorrow and you could be someone else’s problem. 

Well, all of your friends but one. You still hadn’t found Namjoon, but you had an inkling to where you might find him. Your hunch was proven correct when you walked all the way to the edge of your villa, finding a man with broad shoulders sitting alone on the beach. 

You found the down path easily, skipping the wooden steps that led you to the sand. You didn’t want to spook Namjoon with your sudden presence, walking slower until you stood next to him. With a gentle hand and light fingers, you scratched the back of his head, watching him shiver and look up with sleepy eyes. 

“What’s got you thinking so hard over there?” you asked quietly as you made yourself comfortable sitting on the sand. 

“What you guys said earlier.”

“Joonaaaaah.”

“I’m not feeling pressured, just thinking about it.” he assured you, letting you groan all you wanted as you pressed your forehead against the outside of his shoulder. “Do you think it would help?”

“I know what wouldn’t help and that’s sleeping with Soyoon again.” you told him so. And now that it was just the two of you, you felt like you could talk more openly. “So if you need someone else to fix your loneliness, I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

You had a bad taste in your mouth as you said that. Yes you thought that rebounds could work, it worked for you and it clearly worked for the others too. But the thought of Namjoon, in all his handsome glory, walking into a bar to pick up an easy fuck for the night bothered you more than you’d let yourself admit. 

Especially since the probability of him bringing his conquest to your shared apart was very much real and you’d hate to run into his fuck buddies while making your breakfast in the morning. It was hard enough whenever Soyoon slipped out of his bedroom in nothing but his t-shirts and you had months to get used to her. 

“Would you?” he asked so softly you barely heard it over the crashing waves. 

“I’ve had a rebound, Joon–”

“No, I mean with me.” his laugh was a little shy as he stuck his toes into the sand. “Would you be my rebound?”

Namjoon was staring ahead, but you were looking at him. How much did you have to drink? How much did he have to drink? Your mouth opened and closed as no words were coming out. Never did you think he’d ever ask you anything of this nature and yet, the butterflies inside your stomach were on psychedelics right now. 

“That was weird, right?” his cheeks rose as you watched his profile, but you could tell it was out of embarrassment. “You talked about asking a friend for help, and I’m closer to you than Yoongi hyung, but you didn’t ask me–”

“You were already with Soyoon, Joon, I couldn’t ask you that.” you learned how to use your words again, surprised something like that would even bother him. Why would he care if you asked Yoongi to help you out and not him?

“Right. Yeah.” his chest expanded as he took a deep breath, but it came out shaky. “Guess I’m surprised. I didn’t know you and hyung…”

“That’s what a rebound is. No strings, just sex.” as Namjoon refused to look at you, you decided to face the ocean, too. “We didn’t tell anybody.”

“And yet everyone knew about it but me.” 

“That’s Park Jimin’s fault.” you pointed out with a groan, knowing Namjoon was laughing because you used Jimin’s full name. “He got Yoongi drunk out of his mind and asked who was the best head of his– Y’know what, that’s not important.”

You cut yourself off as Namjoon didn’t need to know about your skills or what kind of things you did with Yoongi, but the man sitting next to you still wheezed and froze all movement of his feet playing in the sand.

“Jimin found out about us and told Jk.” you carried on. “And you know that boy can’t keep a secret like that to save his life.”

“Yet, the secret still didn’t reach me until tonight.” 

“You haven’t been hanging out with us as much anymore.” 

You knew your words probably hurt Namjoon a little, but they were the truth. A truth that he’d been too blind to see before, but that he had to acknowledge if he wanted things to go back to how they were before Soyoon showed up in his life. 

“You didn’t give me an answer.” he started again, pulling the sleeves of his off-white sweater to cover his hands. 

“Did you even mean that?”

“Of course I meant it.” Namjoon looked almost offended as he faced you. 

“No, I mean… Are you asking me because I’m the easy choice?” you clarified, no judgment behind your words. “Are you even attracted to me?” 

“Of course I’m attracted to you, have you seen yourself?” your question seemed to bewilder him, which was somehow funny to you. “Are you attracted to me?”

“You’re nice to look at.” you faked nonchalance, but if the moon was any brighter tonight, he’d pick up on your blush. “But I’m nothing like Soyoon. If that’s your type, you should ask Sohee.”

“I thought I had to fuck someone different.” his arm brushed yours and you knew it was on purpose. 

“That’s a good point.”

“You know, she asked me to call her ‘daddy’ once.” Namjoon told you with a pretty laugh that you hadn’t heard in what felt like ages. 

“Did you?” you looked at him with high eyebrows and the fact he refused to answer was enough. “Hey, I’d call her ‘daddy’ too.”

The two of you just started laughing for no real reason. Maybe it was the beautiful scenery around you, maybe it was the familiarity between the two of you. This guy right here, who allowed himself to be honest and open and silly… This Namjoon felt like more than your roommate. 

“I missed this. I missed you.” the man said as his arm knocked against yours again.

I’ve always been here.” 

“I know.” he nodded, turning a little somber as he repeated. “I know.”

“It’s good to have you back.” all you could do at this point was count your wins, not cry for whatever was in the past. You brought a hand to his back, rubbing a lazy circle as you announced: “I’m going back in now, are you staying?”

“Yeah, the ocean is relaxing.” Namjoon told you, but seeing as you didn’t move, he added: “I won’t be long.”

“Okay, then.” that had you standing up and patting the sand off your ass. “Goodnight, Joon.”

As you were walking back to the path that would lead you to the backyard of your rented villa, you heard him ask: 

“Will you think about it?”