Peek: The Certainties in Life
Added 2024-03-04 02:59:58 +0000 UTCIt's not often that Joole is at a loss. The changeling sits at his desk in his natural form, his pale skin mostly hidden by his well-tailored robes. His large eyes take in the paperwork on his desk, and one of his hands rubs his bald head as he tries to come to terms with what he's seeing.
A death certificate is not something especially surprising, especially when the career listed is Adventurer. The next several pieces of paperwork are all simple as well. Official recognition of death by her guild, reports of her death and corroborating evidence that she is, indeed, quite dead.
And yet also her tax report for the year, paid by her, and record of continued employment. The first time this file graced his desk, this was as far as he had to go before neatly forwarding it to legal for obvious fraud. The file returned three days later. Then two days, after he forwarded it again. The third time, it returned while he was at lunch, with a stern note that it is not fraudulent and if he refuses to process the file, he may find employment elsewhere.
So now he is stuck with Yvonne Silvercrest's file. He sighs and digs deeper into the paperwork, uncertain if he actually wants to know why legal insists he process the file of a dead woman. Whatever the reason, it's his job to do so.
She listed herself as the sole beneficiary of her entire worth, a fact that almost makes him send the file back to legal with the section highlighted, risk of being fired or no! As he reads further, he's glad he didn't, as the legal department attached part of their own investigation there. It's not illegal to name yourself as your beneficiary. Nobody does that, because the property and worth will be considered abandoned, as nobody is around to lay legitimate claim. Nobody ever considered making it illegal for that reason, and Yvonne seems to have happily flown through that loophole.
He snorts at the ridiculousness of that, but if legal insists he process the file as if she's both dead and still walking around, that's what they'll get.
That mindset makes the work much easier on him, letting him chuckle at some of the shenanigans in the paperwork. Whoever Guildmaster Karn is, he's shrewd and merciless in abusing the loopholes, as well as minding his p's and q's.
Death is automatic ejection from a guild, but there's nothing preventing someone from signing back up after. That Yvonne was given a lucrative quest to recover guild property 'lost in action' only teases against the bounds of impropriety. Ordinarily, she would be liable for the loss of said goods, but as they had been lost as a result of her 'death', the equipment was declared lost. And then, as a fresh member of the guild, recovering such valuable material put her on the fast track for improving her guild rank.
Her efforts at organizing her guild's library also helps her there, as such work is often delegated to scribes. Most adventurers would turn their nose up at such work, especially when it would interfere with their delving. But according to the file, she delves the local dungeon in the day, and organizes the library at night, as she no longer needs to sleep. While he has his personal doubts, Joole is past trying to poke holes in the why or how behind the reports. Legal says they're legit, so it can be on them when it blows up in their faces.
As he nears the end of the file, he gets an inkling that maybe legal isn't being insane in allowing this file to procede. Joole was certain he'd see efforts to avoid paying dues or other fees due to being deceased, but all the payments appear to be in order. He spends a day doing as much of as audit as he can from the capital, because no way is he braving the winter to go to Fourdock himself, and finds everything seems to be accurate.
Bemused, he finally loads all the paperwork back into the file, finishes marking his ledger, and files the folder away where it belongs. He makes sure to put in his own attempts to forward it back to legal, as well as the note, if only to cover his own rear. He's certain someone will want to audit this file later, and he wants it on record that, insane premise aside, he has properly filed the work and tax report for a working corpse.
He snorts to himself as he closes the cabinet, recalling a joke that's been around as long as money has: only the dead avoid being taxed. It would seem not even that will let someone escape, anymore.
_____________
Inspired by Magnadra, who wanted to know if anything ever came of Yvonne's status as legally dead.
Comments
thanks for the chapter 'much of as audit' as -> an
Corwin Amber
2024-03-30 06:16:23 +0000 UTClove it!
Magnadra
2024-03-25 21:26:28 +0000 UTCThanks for the peek! That was hilarious, love it!
Herakilla
2024-03-04 18:20:37 +0000 UTCThat ability of no sleep would make me so happy personally. TFTP!
Ethan Barrow
2024-03-04 16:20:44 +0000 UTC