A little look back...

Tl;Dr last year was rough, but also some great new experiences, you guys are fab, I'll be online MFC Friday night!

Guys I'm not gonna lie 2018 was fucking brutal - I moved out of my parents and in with my partner, had a really sick kitty, pretty brtual health year myself with my illness progressing and transitioned off narcotics for pain management plus tried a handful of other medications with pretty awful side effects and withdrawals, stuggled with my mental health, lost some friends... Well lost a lot really. BUT I also launched my patreon, became far more open about my disability with you guys and found the chronic illness/disabled/spoonie community online, made some new friends, became an advocate for disability rights and awareness, and pushed myself further creatively than I've ever gone.

I feel like I've learnt so much (like mostly from flying blind and failing but I'll still take it) this year about my business and this community, so whilst I still feel very lost, I at least can look back and be like well you felt this lost then and look what you figured out by just doing your best anyway 😂
Like it an awk af artsy unschooled kid with a comp sci degree can somehow figure out sales, marketing, and design like you can probably do the thing too. Like not well... But like acceptably 😂
(someone at my dance studio had to explain snapchat to me and it still took me 2 months to figure out I'm not joking I'm basically a luddite)

Anyway haha I feel like I only just, at the start of the year, started to accept and grieve the life I lost after I got sick and these last few months have helped me find my voice and purpose again. I have fuel to fight my negative thought cycles of feeling useless now. It's still a fight but I feel like I'm winning some here and there finally and I couldn't have made any of that progress without you guys supporting me on the, admittedly bumpy, road SO FUCKING THANK YOU ❤️ all the messages and comments sharing your stories with me are literally my fire, I'M ACTUALLY JUST SELFISH I'm only raising awareness and sharing advice so help people bcs I need to feel useful 😭

Ahem plus the fact that I have Cosmians going out of their way to support me here in patreon land because they enjoy the content I make and *me* is... I can't even I'm gonna start crying trying to explain how much it means fml mother why did you give me these weaksauce tear ducts, argh it means a lot ok ahem
So I'm not gonna set the bar anywhere for 2019 I'm just gonna continue doing my best to push as hard as a can whilst keeping a balance with health and focusing on creating more comparing less 💋

And I'm overjoyed to keep seeing this wonderful community grow 💜

PS I'm gonna be online cam Friday evening (#spoonswilling)