Harry Potter and the Monster Books Part 4

Titania jumped when she glanced up from her comic book and noticed a black haired teenager with emerald eyes standing next to a girl that could have been her twin if you ignored her binding tattoos and the girl's regrettable hair. She glanced at the closed door, wondering how they'd gotten into the shop since she hadn't heard the bell and you weren't supposed to be able to teleport into or out of the shop. "Welcome to The Tourist Trap, how may I help you?"

"That depends, do you take silver or gold coins?" Harry asked as he held his coin pouch up, rather happy that he still had a bit left.

"Absolutely," Titania replied cheerfully. "We take most forms of money, except Monopoly and some of the countries with exceptionally terrible exchange rates, I've got enough toilet paper to last a couple of years."

"You've actually had people try to pay you with Monopoly money?" Hermione asked, a bit surprised.

"Now and then," Titania replied with a shrug. "It's mostly jocks that think they have a sense of humor."

"That makes more sense," Hermione admitted.

"What type of outfit do you need?" Titania asked Harry, not particularly impressed by his second hand clothes.

"Jeans and t-shirts?" Harry asked, not actually sure since he'd never been shopping for normal clothes.

"You should probably get some business casual in case we get the chance to go somewhere halfway nice, like a theater or one of the museums," Hermione suggested. "Maybe some long sleeve shirts depending on the price."

"How much is this going to cost?" Harry asked.

"Gold is currently about two thousand an ounce and the prices of the clothes in the store haven't been adjusted in years. We also have plenty of discounts that you can take advantage of," Titania offered as she gestured at the sign on the counter. 

Hermione glanced at the sign and stared when she realized what the sign actually said. "Twenty percent discounts on clothes if we strip? An additional ten percent if two naked girls kiss, twenty five percent off if two naked girls have sex and another five percent if we let you grope us?"

"Blame the pervert that set everything up, just because he's dead doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy the show," Titania replied with a shrug, only lying a little as she’d had a lot of choices for possible discounts in the lists he’d provided and she’d chosen those herself.

Harry glanced at Hermione then activated his alternate form ability, causing a swirl of red and gold sparks to cover him.

Titania stared as the sparkles vanished, revealing a gorgeous red haired girl that was just over six feet tall that looked like she could have been her cousin. "That counts. Let me get my tape measure!"

Hermione glanced at the large windows that showed off an old fashioned cobblestone street that had a number of people walking by dressed in stuff that wouldn't have been out of place in the 1920's or even the Victorian era. She giggled when a young man just happened to trip when he glanced over and caught sight of Harry in the window.

Harry glanced at his friend as Titania walked out from behind the counter holding a cloth measuring tape. "You're next."

"Does the changing room have a mirror?" Hermione asked Titania.

"It's a bit small and it has cameras, you're better off just changing out here," Titania warned her as she walked over and started measuring Harry's alternate form, managing to stay professional despite the fact that she really didn't want to.

"Cameras in the changing rooms? That can't be legal," Hermione complained.

Titania gestured and conjured a standing mirror for Hermione. "There's a warning on the door that there are cameras everywhere to stop thieves and that if you enter the store you waive your right to privacy. The cameras also cover the aisles, the bathroom and the counter where the books and magic cards are sold."

"Magic cards?" Harry asked, curious what type of magic they contained.

"Wrong type of magic. They're technically a collectable card trading game but they're basically cardboard crack. I'm pretty sure they're cursed to get people to buy them, but I can't actually detect any magic, so it might just be a case of ‘oh shiny!’ disorder and good marketing on the part of the company."

"So, no magic books either?" Hermione asked, a bit disappointed.

"We have both, mundane and magic books," Titania replied as she worked on measuring Harry's waist. "Can you take the chaps off? They're making it harder to get a good feel… for your sizes."

"Sorry," Harry replied as he unbuttoned the chaps and let them fall to the ground. 'It's just as well Ron didn't come with us, he'd be laughing his ass off,' he thought, trying not to react to the clerk's fingers when they touched his skin, mostly because it looked like she was trying to be professional. 'Just as well that I'm not currently a guy,' he thought, not really noticing that his nipples were hard as rocks since he was still a bit unfamiliar with his alternate form.

Titania quickly finished measuring Harry then stepped back, snapped her fingers and used the shop's magic to teleport a collection of silk underwear from the shop's collection. She gestured and levitated the underwear, causing the collection of silk panties to float up and spread out a bit. "Okay, Ms Doppelganger, which underwear do you like the best?"

"I thought we were getting them for Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Technically yes but I mean, you're supposed to get the girlfriend's opinion, I mean, you're the one that is going to be taking it off of her, right?"

"I'm not…" Hermione trailed off, her ears going slightly red as she realized what the clerk was implying.

"Ah, someone beat you to it, no worries," Titania said as she compared the underwear to Harry's dark red hair.

Hermione opened her mouth to explain that they were just friends when she realized that she could do a lot worse in boyfriends. 'Or girlfriends for that matter,' she mused as she checked her friend out, fairly sure he'd get mistaken for a cousin if they went out. 'Damn, I'm going to have to ask him out.'

"How do you feel about green?" Titania asked thoughtfully.

"Too Slytherin," Harry objected.

"Rival club?" Titania guessed as she tossed the pair of green panties on the counter.

"Our school is divided into four houses, our house has a lot of issues and history with them," Hermione explained.

"Gotcha," Titania replied as she tossed Harry one of the pairs of crimson panties. "Try these on and we'll go from there."

'This should be more embarrassing than it is,' Harry mused as he pulled the panties on, wondering if it was because they were in a pocket dimension without anyone around that would make fun of him or if it had something to do with the alternate form spell. 'Maybe a bit of both,' he mused as he looked at 'his' reflection in the mirror. 'Damn I look hot.'

"Are we looking for dresses or pants and shirts or a combination?" Titania asked as she started teleporting some of the slacks that she could adjust to fit.

"What do you think?" Harry asked Hermione.

"We've got the money and you never know when you'll have to sneak into a fancy party or enjoy a night at the opera as a girl," Hermione suggested, unwilling to admit that she just wanted to see his alternate form in a nice dress.

"You should swap, that way we'll know what your alternate form looks like so we won't clash," he suggested, figuring it would split Titania's attention and give him a decent or indecent distraction from having the girls use him as a doll.

Hermione glanced at the changing room then decided that she didn't care if Harry saw her alternate form since it wasn't her and changed, causing red and gold sparkles to surround her.

Harry covered his mouth to keep from snickering when the sparkles vanished and revealed that Hermione had changed to match his own alternate form, making them look like identical twins.

"Oh, twins," Titania said as she glanced between the two mostly naked teenagers, wondering if she could talk both of them into bed so that she could escape the shop, since seducing twins was on the list of escape clauses. 

"What do I…" Hermione trailed off as she looked in the mirror and realized that she looked like Harry's alternate form. "Is this because we used the spell at almost the same time?"

"Or on each other," Harry mused, figuring they were going to have to do some testing.

Titania snickered when she saw one of the ladies outside smack her boyfriend on the back of the head when he stopped to stare. "Let's start with some business shirts and then we'll jump to dresses and finish up with pants and shirts then your friend can swap back and I can burn his outfit."

"That's fair," Harry agreed, not particularly fond of Dudley's castoffs.

0o0o0 

"He's fine," Vernon grumbled to himself as he pounded on Dudley's door, annoyed that Dudley hadn't answered his mother and had locked the door which meant that he had to interrupt his show to check on him. "Open the damned door!"

He pulled his key chain out of his pocket, found the right key and unlocked the door, half expecting Dudley to be sprawled out on his bed listening to music or sulking since they hadn't heard him leave the house and Pet wanted to keep him home. He glanced around the empty room then focused on the book on the bed, finding it strangely out of place considering Dudley didn't like reading.

He left the keys in the door and walked over to take a look at the book. He stared at the picture of a strange biker gang that looked like a bunch of circus freaks gathered around some type of fight. "He should just buy a Playboy like the rest of us," he muttered as he reached out and touched the picture next to the image of a woman with melon sized tits, wondering if that was the reason Dudley was interested.

Vernon tried to scream as he was pulled into the picture, finding himself in a campground with hundreds of freakish looking bikers and strange looking bikes, some of which seemed to be spewing actual flames. "What the fuck is going on?!" he demanded, glaring at one of the topless biker girls that was giving him a look like she'd just stepped in dog shit.

One of the bikers looked at the fat slob that didn't have any biker leathers on and coughed. "Ah, sir, this is a private party, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"I'm not going anywhere you fucking freak, where the fuck am I?" Vernon demanded.

"Just because you're drunk doesn't mean you get to scream at people," the topless girl told him, getting a bit annoyed but trying to be civil.

"Shut your mouth tramp," Vernon snapped, too angry about the strange situation and used to being able to bribe his way out of situations to realize just how stupid he was being. "How the hell did I get here?!"

"Please calm down…" the biker trailed off as he realized it wasn't working. "Fuck it, I'll just put a twenty in the swear jar when I get home," he complained as he grabbed the baseball bat his friend handed him.

"What?" Vernon sputtered when the man stepped toward him.

"Start running," the biker suggested.

"I'm going to call the bobbies, they'll sort you out," Vernon threatened.

The biker glanced over at his friend. "Hey Frank, what do you think?"

His friend called back, "I'm fucking off duty and I'm fucking your sister in like five minutes when she gets back with a beer, tell the fat fuck to piss off."

"You heard him, piss off," the biker suggested.

"Fucking freaks," Vernon complained.

The biker stepped up and slammed his baseball bat into Vernon's knee, causing the man to hit the ground screaming. "My grandmother was a circus freak, it was an honorable job in the old country, real talent with knives."

"I might be a freak but you're fucking dead," the topless girl said cheerfully as she grabbed a pair of brass knuckles, walked over and punched Vernon in the kidneys. "Fuck him up girls!" she shouted as all the women in the area pulled out various weapons.

"Make him squeal like a pig!" one of the women shouted as she rushed over with a cattleprod to help, causing Vernone to squeal like a stuck pig when she hit him in the testicles.

"Fuck making him squeal, roast him like a pig!" a slightly green skinned woman shouted as the girls laid into the soon to be dead idiot.

"Meat's back on the menu!" one of the large guys with tusks said.

"It was never off the menu, fuck your diet man," a short man with pointed teeth said with a laugh.

"Fuck that, he's at least two hundred pounds overweight," one of the other bikers argued as he watched the girls beat the idiot unconscious.

"That just means he needs to work it off first," the green skinned woman said with a leer.

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd just been polite," the biker that had first talked to the idiot muttered, slightly annoyed that he'd have to stick a twenty in the swear jar when he got home since his daughter would be disappointed in him.

0o0o0

"Relax, Mixy isn't going to destroy the world while we're gone," Kara argued as she walked into the Tourist Trap with her cousin, figuring she might as well pick up some clothes while they were trapped, especially since Mixy had tossed her a bag of gold to have some fun while he had a long chat with the asshole that had tried to kill her.

"No, but Lex might," Clark grumbled as he glanced around the shop, more than a bit annoyed at Kara's friend for trapping them in a pocket dimension while Lex was in the middle of another scheme to take over the world. 

Kara glanced at the dark haired teenager that was standing in front of a mirror checking the fit of a pair of slacks then glanced over at the barefoot girl with long wavy dark red hair that was standing at the counter looking at some type of list. "Don't worry about Lex, Mixy swiped the crystal he needs to make his machine work, we've got the night off, enjoy it."

"Fine, I'll try to relax," Clark replied as a purple haired teenager with glowing tattoos walked out of the back room with a stack of books.

"Welcome to the Tourist Trap, how can I help you?" Titania asked as she walked over and set the books on the counter next to Hermione.

"Thanks," Hermione told her as she turned to look at the strangers, glad that she'd already finished getting dressed. 'Unbuttoned flannel shirt over a black t-shirt, looks too modern and doesn't really match the locals and the girl is wearing a Superman t-shirt and a blue skirt. That certainly doesn't fit.'

"We're stuck in town for a couple of hours and my wardrobe is a bit lacking, so I figured I'd take the chance to fix that," Kara replied with a smile as she held up the bag of coins that Mixy had given her.

"Are you looking for something you can wear on a casual walk through the park or are you looking for something that will set hearts aflame on the dance floor of the Palace of Sin?" Titania asked as she walked over.

"A bit of both," Kara replied with a grin, causing Clark to shake his head. "Clark could use a couple of shirts that don't make him look like a lumberjack."

"They're not that bad," Clark argued, not seeing a problem with his flannels as they made sure people couldn't see his muscles.

"If you say so," Titania replied with a grin as she snapped her fingers and started summoning clothes for the attractive blonde.

Clark walked over to check out the books behind the counter and the magic cards, since they seemed out of place for the 1920's vibe the rest of the pocket dimension had. "Creating Basic Garment Grids?" he asked when he noticed the title of the book on the top of the stack.

Hermione opened the book and picked up the spell then handed him the book. "I needed a way to swap outfits quickly and store my clothes."

"That would be useful…" he trailed off as he opened the book and realized that he knew how to create a trinket that would let him store several changes of clothes and instantly swap his outfit which would make swapping identities a lot easier. "The books are enchanted to teach the spells, aren't they?"

"Sorry," Hermione offered when she realized that the book had given him the spell. "I would have warned you about the book, but Titania mentioned that you needed magic to pick up the spells so I figured it was fine if you skimmed the introduction."

"It's fine," Clark assured her. "You saved me a decent amount of Christmas shopping, my friends will love them. I'm Clark," he offered as he held his hand out.

"Hermione," Hermione replied as she shook his hand. "Nice to meet you. What brings you to town?" she asked, curious about the strangers that didn't fit the rest of the town.

Clark absently pointed over his shoulder at Kara, not willing to look since he'd heard her skirt hit the floor and wasn't sure if she'd ditched her underwear at the same time since she didn't have a lot of modesty at the best of times. "One of my cousin's friends decided that we needed a vacation so he teleported us to the town, you?"

Hermione glanced over at Harry and smiled when he shrugged, effectively telling her that it was her call. "We jumped into a magical book."

"Why?" Clark asked.

"We needed clothes for our alternate forms and Harry needed some dress clothes in case we wanted to go somewhere fancy," Hermione explained, not seeing a reason to hide their abilities since they'd never see them again.

"Shapeshifters?" Kara asked Harry, wondering what he actually looked like.

"Sort of," Harry admitted. "We found a spell that gives someone an alternate form."

"Nice. What does your form look like?" Kara asked, wondering if she could talk them into casting the spell for her.

Harry pointed at Hermione. "Just like that."

'I could get used to that,' Kara mused. "If that's your alternate form, what do you look like normally?" she asked Hermione.

Hermione pointed at Titania. "Like Titania, only with bushy brown hair."

Kara glanced between Hermione and the clerk, noticing the resemblance. "Are you related?"

Titania laughed. "Not that I know of. Everyone has a doppelganger somewhere."

"What's it like being a girl?" Clark asked Harry, curious about his thoughts since J'onn was a bit too alien to have a 'human' perspective on the subject.

"I've only had the form a couple of hours and I haven't had to use the bathroom yet so the girl part is less weird than the height change and different balance," Harry admitted. "Do you want to try?"

"Are there any side effects?" Clark asked, not seeing a reason to turn down an extra secret identity if there weren't any side effects.

"Not that I've noticed. The only annoying part about the spell is the fact that you always appear wearing a pair of chaps and a cowboy hat when you change into a girl."

"What do I have to do?" Clark asked.

"Nothing," Harry replied as he cast the spell on him, giving him the ability to change forms. "That should do it."

"Huh," Clark muttered, finding the new mental switch similar to how he used some of his powers.

Kara grinned. "If you're handing out alternate forms, I'd take one."

Harry cast the spell on Kara, giving her an alternate form. "You should probably…" he trailed off when Kara used her ability and blue and red sparkles surrounded her, changing her into a tall busty and mostly naked teenager with long crimson hair and curves in all of the right places. "At least we have proof that not everyone is going to look like us."

Titania snapped her fingers and conjured a standing mirror next to Kara in a way that didn't block anyone's view of the hot redhead. "Nice."

"I could get used to this," Kara mused as she studied her reflection, enjoying the attention and the fact that she could make her cousin squirm.

Hermione pulled her attention off the mostly girl and opened the next book, picking up another spell. She handed the book to Clark. "Do you want the ability to conjure panties that give you the protection of any armor they absorb?"

"Yes," Clark replied, knowing that most of the females in the League would want the ability to increase their armor, without decreasing their agility and flexibility. He opened the book then put it on the table after getting the spell.

Hermione opened the next couple of books then handed them to Clark, not seeing a point in hoarding the spells since they were harmless and he seemed like a nice enough guy that wanted to learn. "You might as well use the rest."

"Thank you," Clark replied and started using the books, making a note to pay his share if Kara had enough gold left.

"Watch this," Kara said as she tossed her hat across the room and onto her cousin's head.

"Nice throw," Harry offered, rather impressed and wondering if they'd practiced the trick.

Clark glanced up at the hat then finished stacking the books on the counter, wondering if the hat would stick around when Kara changed back and relaxing a little as he saw the humor in their current situation. 'Maybe Mxyzptlk had a point, we needed a break.'

"Thanks," Kara replied with a grin as she started taking her chaps off. "What spells did you get?"

"A spell to adjust clothing to fit, a spell that lets you change the colors of clothing and a tailoring spell that lets you make alterations and repairs to clothing," Hermione replied, rather happy with the new spells. "You're welcome to use the books if you can learn the spells."

"I'll have to check," Kara replied as she pulled a sheer green skirt on, curious what it would look like.

Titania summoned a couple more outfits then walked over to talk to Hermione and Clark, leaving the outfits hanging in the air for Kara to try on. "Are you going to swap to your female form or should I grab the parts you need to make the garment grid?"

"Garment grid," Clark replied, knowing Kara would drag things out.

"I should have enough for four," Titania said as she walked around the counter and started pulling out boxes filled with enchanting supplies. "You're probably going to want a copy of the basic enchanting book."

"How much is that going to cost?" Clark asked, wanting to make sure they had enough.

"Twenty seven dollars with tax and gold is about two thousand an ounce," Titania told him as she set the box of parts they'd need in front of Hermione and Clark.

Kara tossed the fat bag of gold coins to Titania that Mixy had given her. "We should be fine."

Titania caught the bag and smiled as she used a spell to check the value of the gold, surprised that it read as one hundred percent pure. "You'll be fine."

"In that case, two copies," Clark said, wanting to thank Hermione for letting him learn the spells. “One for me and one for our friends.”

"Thank you," Hermione told them, not seeing a reason to argue as they could obviously afford it.

0o0o0