Wrong Place, Right Time

An: This is a one shot.

"It's like they were drunk," the dragon muttered as she studied the draconic runes carved into the dusty stone wall that looked like they'd been carved by drunk kobolds in a previous age. She twisted her head around so that she was looking at the runes upside down and studied the runes for a minute.

"That's interesting," the dragon mused when she realized that the runes looked completely different if you were looking at them upside down. "Okay, it's either a somewhat questionable recipe for chicken soup or the gate coordinates for a forgotten city if I'm looking at it upside down."

The dragon summoned her spellbook and fountain pen and carefully copied the runes, wanting to make sure she had a copy of the runes. She let her book vanish along with the pen once she finished copying everything down then twisted her head and neck back around so that she wasn't looking at things upside down. "It's obviously supposed to be gate coordinates, no one would toss chicken heads in the soup."

The dragon glanced at the dark forest that she'd spent the last five hours tromping through trying to find the ancient wall that had been warded against divination spells. "I'm not walking back through the jungle and I'm not flying, stupid suicidal bats."

She did a quick check to make sure she hadn't dropped anything in the area then focused on the gate coordinates for the forgotten city and cast her Gate spell, causing a table sized black and purple portal to appear in front of her. "Okay, that's annoying," she grumbled as she stared at the portal that was far too small to fit through even if she squeezed and wiggled.

'Polymorph or shrinking? There are probably a bunch of traps in the city,' she mused as she summoned her spellbook and flipped the magical index, looking for a spell that would do the trick. "Yarlee's Reduce Monster: Warning, the monster's strength and defenses won't be reduced, just their size. Yeah, that's more of a feature than a bug," she mused as she opened her book to the right page.

She spent a minute looking over the strange 'failed' spell that she'd picked up on one of her frequent trips to the library in the Mages Guild to make sure it wouldn't have any strange side effects. She cast the spell, changing from a thirty foot dragon if you didn't include her neck and tail to a dragon the size of a large dog. She took a minute to wiggle her wings and check that everything still worked then dismissed her book and stepped into the portal.

0o0o0

Lyanna Stark could perhaps be forgiven for imagining things as a strange table sized purple and black disk appeared in the shadows of the keep that she was locked in as she'd just given birth and was in quite a lot of pain. "What…" she trailed off as a dog sized silver and gold dragon tumbled out of the purple, did some type of acrobatic flip that she wouldn't have thought a dragon could pull off and landed on all four feet.

"Hello?" the dragon offered, making Lyanna fairly sure she was dreaming as none of the stories mentioned dragons talking.

"You can talk?" Lyanna blurted out.

"I'm a dragon," the dragon replied as she glanced at the baby the woman was holding, noticing that it was still wet from being born.

"I've never heard of a dragon being able to talk," Lyanna told the dragon.

"Huh, that's weird. I'm Blackberry Pie Grim, I'm a silver dragon and…" the dragon trailed off as she sniffed the air. "There's too much blood."

"Difficult pregnancy and I'm Lyanna Stark," Lyanna admitted.

"Right, let's fix that," Blackberry replied as she sat back on her back legs and made a couple of strange gestures.

Lyanna shivered as the pain vanished as if it had never been and she felt better than she'd felt before getting pregnant. "What was that?"

"That was a Heal spell, it cures physical wounds, diseases and poisons of all sorts," Blackberry replied proudly.

"You have magic?" Lyanna asked in surprise.

"I'm a dragon," Blackberry replied. "Please tell me that this isn't some dead magic world."

"Most people think magic died over a hundred years ago with the dragons," Lyanna explained.

Blackberry sighed. "Let me guess, some idiot decided to hunt the last dragon?"

Lyanna shook her head. "It died of wounds it took when it flew to Valyria."

"What's a Valyria?" Blackberry asked as she gestured and used prestidigitation to clean the baby up then turned the cleaning magic on the girl and her bedding, getting rid of the scent of blood in the room.

"It used to be the country that had dragons but the volcano exploding destroyed their empire close to three hundred years ago. The remains are cursed and tainted."

"Note to self, send golems to explore," Blackberry muttered as she glanced around. "So, why are you in a stone room without a nurse?"

"The prince left a group of knights to keep me safe and they didn't want word getting out about our presence," Lyanna admitted.

"That's stupid, do you want me to talk to them?" Blackberry asked, figuring she could sort things out.

Lyanna winced. "They'd probably attack you."

"Do they have magical weapons?" Blackberry asked, wondering how good the knights were.

"Arthur has Dawn, it's supposed to be forged from a fallen star," Lyanna offered.

"Got it, I'll be right back," Blackberry replied then darted out of the room to have a chat with the knights that were being stupid.

"Great," Lyanna muttered as she got to her feet to follow the dragon, a bit surprised that she felt fine despite the dragon's claims about healing her.

Blackberry exited the keep and frowned when she saw two groups of knights that looked like they were about to fight. "Hey!" she shouted, causing everyone to turn and look at her. "Can someone please tell me why you're keeping Lyanna locked up because I'm about to get angry and you wouldn't like me angry."

Eddard stared at the small dragon in disbelief, wondering where they'd found a dragon of all things, much less a talking one.

"We're just here to bring Lyanna home," Howland Reed offered, getting a bad feeling about fighting the talking dragon despite the fact that it wasn't much larger than a dog.

"That's not going to happen," Gerold Hightower argued. "We were ordered to defend her."

"Are you fucking stupid?" Blackberry demanded as she glared at the knight. "You left the girl alone and you didn't even bring a nurse, give me one reason I shouldn't kick your ass."

"You're the size of a dog," Gerold argued.

"And I have teeth," Blackberry replied. "By what right are you taking her home?"

"She's my sister," Eddard Stark spoke up.

"Enough!" Blackberry snapped when Gerold opened his mouth to argue, having had enough of the idiot's blustering. "We're going to ask Lyanna if she wants to go with her brother. If she does, you're going to let them go or I'm going to bite your kneecaps off."

Lyanna spoke up from where she'd been watching in the doorway. "I'm leaving with my brother."

"You can't," Gerold told her. "We have orders to defend the prince."

Blackberry gestured and cast Featherfall on Gerold then Reverse Gravity, sending him flying into the sky. She turned her attention to the remaining two knights that looked to be on the idiot's side. "I've had a long fucking day and I'm tired of dealing with idiots that don't listen, so I'm only going to ask once, does anyone else have any stupid arguments?"

Arthur Dayne glanced at Oswell. "Do you see any reason we can't defend the prince in the north?"

"It's fucking cold up there?" Oswell asked dryly, not taking his eyes off Gerold who was still 'falling' toward the clouds.

"We'll manage," Arthur assured him. "With Rhaegar's death, we're going to need help protecting the prince from the Usurper."

"Usurper?" Blackberry asked.

"Robert Baratheon illegally claimed the throne after having the other prince and princess murdered," Oswell explained.

"That was Tywin's forces," Eddard cut in, knowing that his 'friend' probably would have ordered it if the Mountain hadn't.

"He held a feast and toasted their death, they were children," Arthur snapped.

"What were the children's names?" Blackberry asked.

"Rhaenys and Aegon Targaryen," Arthur replied.

Blackberry cast a quick Weal or Woe spell to see if they deserved the chance to come back, getting flashes and images of their deaths and the lives they would have had if they hadn't died. "No, fuck that," she complained, unwilling to let that sort of shit stand. She tapped into her luck domain and cast Miracle, causing Rhaenys, Aegon and Elia Targaryen to appear alive and perfectly healthy in front of them.

"Princess?" Arthur sputtered in shock.

"Dragon!" Rhaenys exclaimed enthusiastically when she spotted the adorable silver and gold dragon.

"What's going on?" Elia Targaryen asked, holding her daughter back from rushing over to pet the dragon as she glanced around, trying to figure out how they'd escaped the palace as the last thing she remembered was the Mountain breaking down the door and threatening them.

"I'm fixing a mess," Blackberry replied as she pulled a crystal ball out of her belt pouch, less than happy about the fractured scenes her spell had shown her. "Mountain that Rides," she ordered, causing the crystal ball to show a hulking figure sitting at a table in the middle of a castle. She cast Greater Teleport, teleporting Gregor Clegane, Robert Baratheon and Tywin Lannister to their location.

"What the fuck?!" Robert demanded when he realized he wasn't in the great hall.

"I saved the princess, you're going to revoke Clegane's knighthood and you're going to swear to leave Princess Elia and her family alone or else," Blackberry ordered.

"Who are…" Robert trailed off as he turned and realized that he was standing in front of a dragon and that Lyanna and Eddard were both there. "Lyanna?"

"Robert," Lyanna replied, not particularly happy to see the man that her father had wanted her to marry.

"Why would I revoke Clegane's knighthood?" Tywin asked, not in the least bit happy to find himself surrounded by people that weren't in the least bit friendly toward him.

"Because he's a piece of shit without any honor," Blackberry replied as she glared at the knight.

"I killed you," Clegane said as he stared at Princess Elia, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

"Last chance, revoke his knighthood," Blackberry ordered.

"No," Tywin replied, knowing that Clegane would turn on him if he revoked his knighthood.

Clegane charged the dragon, pissed that he wasn't in his armor and didn't have his sword but intent on killing the small dragon that was trying to steal his knighthood from him.

Blackberry took a breath then exhaled, breathing a storm of ice and snow at Clegane, freezing his flesh, blinding him and causing him to stumble as one of his legs shattered. She frowned slightly when she realized the bastard was still alive. "Would one of the real knights put this bastard out of his misery?"

Arthur walked over and cut Clegane's head off before Robert or Tywin could object, a task made easier as the flesh cracked like the ice that the corpse was slowly becoming.

"Why are we here?" Robert asked, feeling a chill run down his spine that had nothing to do with the hundred and some feet cone of ice and snow covering the sand.

Blackberry turned her attention to the man that had claimed the throne. "Because knights are supposed to have honor and that piece of shit had none."

"You should hold Tywin Lannister responsible for his men sacking the city," Ser Oswell suggested.

"You can't hold me responsible for my soldiers’ behavior," Tywin argued.

Blackberry cast a Weal or Woe spell, curious if leaving the man alive was a good idea and how responsible he was for his men's behavior. "You ordered your men to have fun, knowing full well that they'd cause trouble for the smallfolk. You should demote him or execute him."

"You can't just demote a Lords Paramount and executing me would cause a war you can't afford," Tywin argued, trying to get the monster to see reason.

Blackberry gestured as she conjured a glowing sword that quickly cut Tywin's head off, causing his body to fall to the ground and most of Eddard's bannermen to stare at her in shock. She turned her attention back to Robert. "If you send someone after the children, I will rip your arms and legs off and smash your balls with a hammer until they're paste. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Robert agreed, having seen what happened to the Mountain and Tywin and not interested in having the dragon murder him and not interested in arguing in front of Eddard and Lyanna either.

"Excellent," Blackberry replied cheerfully then turned to look at Lyanna and Elia. "Do you want a lift back home?"

"That would be nice," Lyanna admitted, wanting to head back to Winterfell.

"I want to go back to Sunspear," Elia said, having had enough of King's Landing to last a lifetime.

"You can't just…" Ser Oswell trailed off as the dragon looked at him, reminding him that she'd killed the Mountain and Tywin Lannister already and tossed Gerold into the sky with a gesture.

"We're supposed to marry," Robert argued, looking at Lyanna.

Lyanna glared at Robert. "You killed my husband and I'm never marrying someone that was happy to see children dead."

"Husband? He kidnapped you!" Robert argued.

"He rescued me and we were married," Lyanna told him. "You wouldn't have been faithful."

"I would have tried," Robert argued, ignoring the idea that she willingly married the prince.

Arthur frowned slightly as he noticed Gerold falling back toward the ground.

"I guess we'll never know." Lyanna sighed. "I hope that you find someone you can love because it's not going to be me."

"Ned, can you talk some sense into your sister?" Robert asked hopefully.

Ned shook his head, not particularly happy with his friend at the moment. "I love you like a brother but we both know you have a wandering eye and that you'd eventually stray at which point she'd probably geld you or push you out of a window."

"Nice suggestions," Lyanna agreed.

"You're not helping," Robert complained.

"Is there a reason we're letting him live?" Arthur asked.

"He led a war to kill a monster and he didn't kill any innocents, it's not my job to kill every asshole in the world, I'd never get anything done," Blackberry argued as Gerold hit the ground with a thump about twenty feet away from the ground, not actually injured thanks to the Featherfall spell that had lasted longer than the reverse gravity spell. "If you want to stab him, I'm not going to stop you as long as the girls and the children aren't hurt, but I'm not going to help either."

"What about Dragonstone?" Arthur asked as Gerold managed to push himself off the ground.

Blackberry glanced between the annoying knight and the man with the interesting sword. "What is a Dragonstone?"

"It's an island that is owned by the Targaryens," Elia explained.

"You have three Targaryens here and the princess is the oldest, so I'm not seeing the problem, you just give her the island and we can put this whole mess behind us," Blackberry explained, not seeing the problem.

"Women can't inherit," Robert said.

Blackberry stared at Robert for a couple of seconds as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. "Why?"

"It's the law," Robert replied.

"That's a stupid law," Blackberry complained. "You're the king, fix it."

"He's not the king," Gerold argued as he glared at Robert.

"If he's not the king, someone else can fix it," Blackberry replied, wanting to make sure things were wrapped up before she left.

"I am the king," Robert argued, glaring at Gerold.

"Not while I draw breath," Gerold stated.

"That sounds like a duel, have fun," Blackberry suggested, curious if the 'wanna be king' could beat Gerold.

"Does anyone have an extra hammer?" Robert asked, looking at Ned's group of men.

Blackberry glanced at princess Rhaenys then focused on Robert. "That depends, do you promise to give Dragonstone to the princess?"

"The nobles wouldn't stand for it," Robert admitted.

"In that case, have fun fighting the knight without a weapon," Blackberry replied not too worried about the outcome of the duel since the knight was annoying.

"Here." One of Stark's bannermen tossed Robert a sword when it looked like Gerold was going to walk over and stab Robert despite the fact that he didn't have armor or a weapon.

"Great," Robert muttered as he swung the sword a couple of times to test the blade's balance, trying to remember everything Jon had taught him about the sword before he'd settled on using a hammer.

"Once I kill you, I'm going to kill your friends for their part in the King's death," Gerold taunted as he stalked toward Robert.

"Seriously?" Blackberry complained when she realized that the knight was too stupid or at least too stubborn to live. She reached into her magical bag on her belt and pulled The Hammer of Thunderbolts she'd picked up from one of her adventures and tossed it to Robert. "I'm going to want my hammer back after the fight."

Robert looked down at the large hammer that was trailing arcs of lightning and tossed the sword to the side. "Thank you."

"He should have kept his mouth shut," Blackberry replied when Arthur gave her an annoyed look for giving Robert a weapon.

Arthur winced as he watched the extremely short fight that involved Robert dodging Gerold's swing and caving the knight's armor and chest in with a single strike. "Aye."

Blackberry held her hand out and used her ring to teleport the hammer back to her hand, unwilling to take the chance of the king being able to get through her magical defenses with that particular weapon since it would cut right through her resistance to normal weapons if it hit. "Is anyone else going to be stupid?"

"No, but that doesn't change the fact that the prince should be king," Ser Oswell argued.

Robert glanced between the dragon that had tossed him the hammer and the children that were being held by Elia and Lyanna. "Princess Rhaenys can have Dragonstone, I'm going home if you'll agree that Aerys had to die for his crimes."

"I came to kill Aerys and to bring my sister home, I'm done with fighting," Eddard stated, tired of the fighting and the war that had cost them so much.

"We'll figure something out," Arthur offered, willing to drop the king's death for peace since the king had lost his mind.

"Great, can you send me to Storm's End?" Robert asked the Dragon, wanting to head home and drink himself stupid now that he knew Lyanna hadn't been kidnapped.

"Give me a minute," Blackberry replied as she pulled a chunk of crystal out of her bag and cast Fabricate, turning it into a glittering figurine of herself. She cast a hardening spell on the figurine to make sure it wouldn't break without a great deal of effort then walked over and carefully handed the dragon figurine to the princess. "Everyone should have a dragon."

"Thank you!" Rhaenys exclaimed as she stared at her favorite new toy.

"It was nice to meet you Lyanna," Blackberry told Lyanna.

"For me as well," Lyanna agreed. "You saved my life."

"Right place, right time," Blackberry replied, wondering if that was why her gate spell had dropped her on the wrong world. She tapped into her luck domain and cast Miracle, sending everyone to where they needed to be. "That should fix things," she muttered as she cast her gate spell, causing a black and purple table sized disk to appear in front of her. She walked through the gate, hoping that she ended up in the right place this time.

0o0o0