Patchwork Part 4
Added 2025-03-11 04:44:40 +0000 UTCMadison reluctantly pulled her attention off the video of a pair of pixies fucking in a bowl filled with chocolate pudding and glanced at her cellphone when she recognized Emma's ringtone. 'Horrible timing Emma,' she thought as she grabbed her phone with her free hand and answered the call. "What's up?"
"I'm freaking out," Emma admitted.
"Why?" Madison asked, wondering if it had something to do with the weird project that Emma and Sophia wouldn't tell anyone about over break or the fact that Taylor had ended up in the hospital over something that was probably Sophia's fault.
"Sophia isn't returning my calls and I got a weird package," Emma explained.
"I talked to her half an hour ago, she said she had family shit and what type of package did you get?" Madison asked, trying not to sound too excited about the package that she'd dropped off on her way back from the library to pick up a pair of magic shorts.
"Someone got me a magic vibrator," Emma complained, wondering if she had a stalker.
"Sealed or just like, in a box?" Madison asked, glad that her Accessory Conjuration power actually conjured the packaging if she wanted it.
"Sealed," Emma admitted. "Why does it matter?"
"If it wasn't sealed, I would have told you to toss it in the trash or steam clean it. If it's sealed, you should probably just have some fun once your folks leave," Madison suggested, trying not to laugh as she thought about the look of horror that was probably on her friend's face.
"I'm not just going to use a random vibrator that someone left on my door stop, even if it gives me powers," Emma complained, seriously tempted to use it since the directions on the box claimed that it would give her X-ray vision for five minutes after it was activated and she really wanted to see what being a cape felt like.
"Powers?" Madison asked, trying to sound surprised.
"The box claimed that it gives people X-ray vision after you use the vibration function," Emma admitted reluctantly.
"Cool, you should try it," Madison suggested, curious if her accessories worked for anyone else since the voice had just listed her power as the ability to conjure power granting accessories and given her a short list of powers that her accessories could provide.
"Have you lost your mind?!" Emma demanded.
"Not particularly, you're the one that wanted to be a cape, have some balls," Madison suggested as she went back to playing with herself as she watched the pixies fuck on the screen, the 'threat' of Emma realizing that she was being perverted making the experience better. 'I wonder if Taylor is going to be more of a pussy?' she mused, thinking about the Flight granting vibrating egg she'd left on Taylor's front porch and picturing her using it.
"Fine, if something happens, tell the PRT," Emma told her then ended the call as she wasn't going to test it while on the phone.
Madison snickered as she set her phone back on her desk and focused on the pixies on the screen, wishing she knew enough about computers to hack Emma's webcam or that she could make an accessory that could.
0o0o0
Colin paused when he walked into the testing room and realized that Sophia actually looked like she was in a good mood while running the obstacle course, something that was extremely out of character for the ward. He walked over and stood next to Hannah and Dennis. "How's she doing?"
"Better than I was expecting," Hannah admitted as she turned to look at Colin, not used to seeing him out of his armor. "Despite the loss of her old powers, she seems to be in a good mood."
"It's creepy," Clockblocker offered. "It's like watching Wednesday Addams dance a jig while smiling, completely unnatural."
"Are you saying you want the old Shadow Stalker back?" Hannah asked, finding herself agreeing with Dennis.
"No, it's just weird," Dennis replied, wondering how long it would take before Sophia was back to her normal bitchy self.
'He's not wrong,' Colin thought, wishing that he had enough heroes available that he could afford to bench her for a week. "Have you noticed any other changes to your powers?"
"No, just the timer and the fact that I can control how long something is frozen," Dennis replied, rather happy with the changes the voice had made to his power since he no longer had to wait for his power to run out. "It's a complete upgrade since I can just sort of 'set' the timer without really thinking about it and I can end the effect early if I want."
"Good, that means you're cleared for patrolling," Colin told him. "That brings us up to two Wards and three Protectorate members that are cleared for active duty."
"I should be fine," Sophia called out as she finished the obstacle course.
"You ran face first into the wall," Hannah pointed out.
"I'm fine," Sophia argued as she walked over. "I have enhanced durability and I'll get used to not having my old power."
Hannah shook her head. "I'd rather give you a couple of days to get used to your new powers since you're used to jumping off buildings and going shadow form but if we need you, we'll call."
"That's…" Sophia trailed off as she realized that she wasn't pissed about being benched, something that should have pissed her off or at least would have pissed her off before everything changed. "That's fair. How long do you think Kid Win is going to need to get his gear fixed?"
"I don't know," Colin admitted, making a mental note to note the fact that Sophia was less abrasive. "It could be twenty minutes or weeks, my halberd exploded and half my armor's systems stopped working when we got relocated, he's just lucky that he wasn't using his board when the switch happened."
"Yeah," Sophia agreed, glad that she hadn't been phasing through a wall when she'd lost her power. "How long until Aegis and Gallant get cleared?"
"I don't know, Gallant was having issues with his armor and Aegis lost his ability to adapt and picked up the ability to generate a glowing shield. He's going to have to change his fighting style and he's a lot less durable."
"Which means he's used to taking hits," Sophia muttered, knowing she was going to have the same problem but at least she could take the hits a lot better now so it wasn't as big a deal. "How come Vista and Gallant's powers didn't change?"
"If you ignore the issues with tinkertech, most of the changes seem to be limited to powers that hurt the user or break physics in strange ways. Aegis kept his Flight and lost his ability to adapt, probably because there was something wrong with it," Colin offered as Gallant walked into the testing area wearing his armor.
"And my power had severe issues with electricity," Sophia mused as her phone vibrated, letting her know that she'd gotten another message. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked her messages.
"What was the problem?" Colin asked Gallant.
"The tinkertech coolant degraded which tripped one of the sensors which tossed up a bunch of warnings, everything started working once Win replaced it with some of the stuff the mechanics had," Gallant explained as he walked over.
"What the fuck?" Sophia sputtered when she read her mother's message about her brother finding the vibrator she'd supposedly ordered.
Colin turned to look at Sophia. "Problem?"
"Just a weird message…" Sophia trailed off as she checked Emma's latest message and realized that there might be a problem. "How much paperwork would I have to fill out if someone sent a piece of tinkertech to my house?"
"A decent amount, why?" Colin asked.
Sophia briefly considered lying before deciding that she'd rather just deal with things before they spiralled out of control. "Because my mother sent me a message complaining that my brother found the vibrator I supposedly ordered and one of my friends sent me a message about a tinkertech vibrator that gave her X-ray vision."
"And I thought the shorts were strange," Dennis mused, resisting the urge to make a bad joke about Sophia needing mechanical assistance.
"Which friend?" Hannah asked, wondering how problematic it would be to confiscate the vibrator for testing.
"Emma," Sophia replied as she started looking through the texts that she'd been ignoring, trying to figure out if there was more information.
Colin glanced at Dennis, a touch surprised that he hadn't made a bad joke then focused on Sophia. "Call your mother and make sure she doesn't toss it in the trash, I'll send an agent to pick it up. Call your friend and make sure she doesn't use it again, at least until we can make sure it's not going to cause any side effects."
"Does that mean she'll get to keep it?" Sophia asked in surprise as she called her mother.
"Possession of tinkertech isn't illegal, I just want to make sure that the device isn't dangerous and I have concerns about your civilian identity." Colin turned to look at Hannah. "Can you talk to her case worker and see if she told someone Sophia's identity that she shouldn't have?"
"If she gets too annoying, remind her that kneecaps are a privilege and that she's looking at ten to twenty years in prison for falsifying records," Sophia suggested cheerfully.
"I'll take care of it," Hannah replied as she headed for the door. "Gallant, you're coming with me so I can tell if she's lying."
"Sure," Gallant replied as he followed Miss Militia.
"What the hell are you doing ordering sex toys?" Sophia's mother complained once she answered the phone.
"Stop, I didn't order the vibrator," Sophia told her, making a note to kick Dennis later for his smirk when Armsmaster wasn't standing there. "I got a message from Emma, she also received one, we're not sure who sent them but it wasn't us. I need you to keep it until a PRT agent gets there to collect it, it might be dangerous and it's probably tinkertech."
"Is this a joke?" her mother asked warily.
"No, it's not a joke and I'm sorry," Sophia told her, wondering why the hell she'd given her mother half the trouble she'd given her over the last couple of years.
"Okay, I'll be here for another thirty minutes then I have to head to work, it's on the kitchen table," she replied.
"Thanks and I'll explain later. I've got to go," Sophia told her then hung up and called Emma, not looking forward to listening to her bitch about turning her in.
"I'm going to grab Vista and do a patrol, unless you need something?" Dennis asked Armsmaster.
"No, just stay safe," Colin told him, making a mental note to look into getting Vista more armor once he finished fixing his own.
0o0o0
"Weird," Taylor muttered when she saw the box with Christmas wrappings sitting on her porch.
"What's weird about getting a present?" Moonbeam asked from inside Taylor's hood, not sure why Taylor sounded worried about the present.
"It's the fifth of January and I don't have any friends," Taylor replied as she walked over and checked the tag. "To Taylor, from Santa? Yeah, because that's not suspicious."
"You're just being paranoid," Moonbeam complained. "Besides, I'm your friend which means you have at least one friend."
"You were also with me and you didn't leave the box," Taylor replied as she checked the box with her upgrade ability. 'Suspicious present wrapped in Christmas wrap? Is that because it's suspicious or because I think it's suspicious?' she wondered as she pulled her key out of her pocket and opened the door.
"Point," Moonbeam admitted. "Are you going to ignore your present?"
"No, I'm just getting the fire poker so I can make sure it doesn't explode when I pick it up," Taylor told her.
"You're being paranoid," Moonbeam told her.
"It's not paranoia if they're actually out to get you," Taylor argued as she set her bag with the web camera and game system on the chair on the way to the fireplace. She grabbed the metal poker then walked back over to the door. She felt a touch silly when she partially closed the door and used the fire poker to move the package and it didn't explode, beep ominously or do much of anything to justify her paranoia.
"See, it's fine, nothing went boom," Moonbeam assured her.
Taylor opened the door and grabbed the package then closed the door and walked over to the coffee table. "Fine, I might have overacted, it was probably one of the neighbors or something," she admitted as she carefully unwrapped the package. "Or not," she muttered when she unwrapped it enough to see the hot pink vibrating egg through the plastic of the box. "Magic Vibrator? What the hell?!"
"Nice!" Moonbeam exclaimed as she jumped out of Taylor's hood and flew down to the table so she could get a better look at the box.
Taylor pulled the rest of the wrapping off and stared at the label on the package. "Wireless Magic Vibrator, activating the vibration function gives the user five minutes of flight?"
Moonbeam snickered. "Even better!"
"There's no way that's real," Taylor muttered as she used her Upgrade ability to check the vibrator. "Activating the vibrator while it's inside of a person gives them five minutes of Flight, maximum speed 50mph. It also comes with a featherfall effect when the flight runs out. Conjured by Madison Clements. Madison? Seriously? She's a fucking cape and she gave me a vibrator?!"
"Is that a problem?" Moonbeam asked, trying to figure out why Taylor wasn't happy with a magic sex toy.
"Yes!" Taylor blurted as she finished checking the description her power was giving her. 'Duration: Permanent: Charge, unlimited?'
"Why?" Moonbeam asked.
"Because she was one of the people making my life hell for the last couple of years," Taylor explained, trying to figure out what the hell she was supposed to do with Madison's gift, because it was undeniably awesome but from one of the last people she would have expected it from.
"Maybe she likes you and doesn't know how to say it?" Moonbeam suggested.
"Or she's feeling guilty," Taylor said as she checked the package, a bit surprised that it looked like a professional product, if you ignored the fact that it claimed that using it would give you Flight.
"Or both," Moonbeam mused, figuring they weren't mutually exclusive. "Either way, are you going to pass up the chance to grab Flight just because you don't like her?"
"It's probably a trick," Taylor argued, trying to talk herself out of using it.
"Wouldn't your power tell you if it was trapped?" Moonbeam asked.
"Probably," Taylor admitted reluctantly.
"Then what's the problem?" Moonbeam asked.
"She's probably planning on ruining my reputation or calling the police and claiming that I stole it," Taylor complained, still having trouble wrapping her mind around why Madison would send her a vibrator that gave her Flight.
"The note wasn't signed, the only reason you know it was her is because of your power. I doubt she's going to mention it or call the police," Moonbeam pointed out. "She's either trying to apologize or she's trying to mess with you. Either way, you have a wireless vibrator that can give you the ability to fly, it would be a shame not to use it. Trust me, flying is awesome!"
"For five minutes and you're assuming she didn't install some sort of backdoor that lets her turn it off while I'm a couple of hundred feet in the air," Taylor complained.
Moonbeam shook her head. "I think your power would have mentioned any tricks or extra abilities and canceling the flight would be an extra ability."
"Probably," Taylor admitted after double checking the vibrator's description.
"You could always use it in your room," Moonbeam suggested cheerfully. "Falling from a couple of feet in the air might bang your knees but it's not going to kill you unless you're flying upside down."
"That doesn't change the fact that she might report it stolen," Taylor argued halfheartedly.
"Meh, just spend the mana to upgrade the color to red then take a picture of the vibrator in the package with the note," Moonbeam suggested. "It's hardly your fault that you got a present, it's only ten days after Christmas so it's not that weird. If anyone asks, just tell them that you figured your dad picked it up and didn't want to talk about it or admit that he got his daughter a sex toy."
"Yeah, that's not a conversation I ever want to have," Taylor complained as she spent five mana to upgrade the amount of red the vibrator's case contained, turning it from a hot pink color to a dark red color. 'Twisted bitch,' she complained, knowing she was going to have a hard time looking at her at school without thinking about the vibrator.
Moonbeam snickered. "Speaking of having fun, I'm still a bit sticky from the pudding so I'm going to fill the bathroom sink with water and take a bath. Do you want to help me set up the webcam to see if we can make more money?"
Taylor shook her head. "I don't think we have enough cord."
"It's wireless," Moonbeam replied smugly.
Taylor glanced at the clock on the wall, trying to judge when her father would be home. 'I should have a few hours, especially if he's stuck arranging contracts and dealing with the boats. Twenty minutes to set everything up, that gives her a couple of hours to lounge around and it would probably give us another hundred in tips.' She picked up her bag and headed for the stairs. "Sure, I could use the mana."
"Yes!" Moonbeam squealed excitedly as she flew after Taylor. "We should probably pick up a laptop when we have a chance."
"It's on the list," Taylor assured her, planning on doing some online shopping while Moonbeam was having her bath so she'd have a better idea of prices.
0o0o0
"How far did they get?" Leet asked as he walked over to the computer where Uber was eating popcorn and laughing at the stream he was watching.
"They're kicking ass against Snarlfax," Uber replied with amusement.
"Seriously? That boss is a nightmare," Leet complained as he glanced between the teenager with a blacked out face and a cowboy hat and the pixie that was wearing assless chaps and a cowboy hat on the screen. "What type of program do you think he's running to generate the pixie?"
"I don't know," Uber admitted. "If it's a modeling program it's a damned good one because his moves are never exactly the same and the wing movements seem more random than I'd expect."
"It could just be someone in another room wearing a motion capture suit," Leet suggested as he watched the pixie shove the control stick up and to the side so his mage would dodge out of the blast radius of the dragon's ice breath.
"Seems like a lot of work for an amateur, then again, they're raking in the tips," Uber mused, wondering if they should adjust their channel.
"It's probably the assless chaps and the fact that he looks like a movie star," Leet pointed out, a touch jealous that the comments looked pretty positive compared to the shit in their channel.
"That certainly helps but he's surprisingly good considering the giant controls," Uber said thoughtfully. "Do you think we should include a giant controller in the arcade?"
"I don't know, it doesn't seem very authentic," Leet argued.
Uber pointed to the tips total.
Leet blinked when he saw the number at the top of the chat window. "On the other hand, if we build a giant arcade unit, people would probably have a lot of fun running around and stomping on giant buttons and it would be authentic."
"Exactly," Uber agreed. "Especially if we make people step through a door and everything in the room is giant or looks giant."
Leet shook his head. "That would take up more room in the warehouse."
"Not if we use screens and just have the floor look like it's part of the machine," Uber suggested. "The only problem is we're going to have to rebrand if we're going to put a lot of work into the building."
"Hax and Skill Monkey?" Leet asked thoughtfully, figuring it was about time that they rebrand anyway now that the endbringers were gone and the president was talking about cracking down on problematic villains.
"That's barely paper thin," Uber pointed out.
"We just need plausible deniability," Leet replied with a smirk. "We can't possibly be Uber and Leet, we're Hax and Skill Monkey, especially if we fake our deaths and claim that we're just fans."
"That sounds like a good way to get tossed in jail," Uber pointed out.
"So does being a villain without the endbringers, you heard the president," Leet pointed out, thinking about the video he'd seen of Alabaster getting his ass handed to him and the president's speech about the changes he wanted to make to the country's laws that would make it a lot easier for tinkers to make money legitimately.
"Okay, how are we going to fake our deaths?" Uber asked.
"I have ideas!" Leet replied cheerfully.
"We're not using the teleporter until you fix it, I want to fake our deaths, not actually die," Uber reminded him.
Leet laughed. "Okay, I have slightly less ideas."
"Slightly?" Uber asked.
"Basically. Just because we haven't been editing the footage doesn't mean we can't. If we fly around a corner and splice the image with a fake go-kart going around the same corner that happens to explode after a couple of seconds, I doubt anyone would question it."
"Until we show up with different names," Uber pointed out he watched the mage finish off the giant forest dragon with a well placed fireball that exploded in the dragon's mouth.
"We should make enough off the arcade to retire and if we get bored we can probably go down to Old Mexico and play with mechs," Leet suggested.
"Okay, I'm in," Uber agreed, deciding that taking a break for a couple of months while they waited to see how things shook out was a good idea.
0o0o0
Comments
I'm only vaguely familiar with Nasuverse from fanfiction so they won't be appearing.
Mist of Shadows
2025-03-15 00:11:02 +0000 UTCI'm loving this so far! If you're looking for ideas for the rest of the world, it'd be funny to see 10 Downing Street dealing with the House of Windsor being replaced with Nasuverse's House of Pendragon.
David Lambert
2025-03-14 18:42:55 +0000 UTCYep, it makes it a lot easier to look things up than it used to be.
Mist of Shadows
2025-03-13 16:46:42 +0000 UTCGod Damn almost Haiku!!!!!!!!!
Bable Zmith
2025-03-13 09:12:24 +0000 UTCThe Baja Peninsula. The Gulf of California. GoogleMaps is useful. :P
Bable Zmith
2025-03-13 09:11:26 +0000 UTCYep, the top third of Mexico is a state called Old Mexico. :) California Peninsula is part of California in this. It just makes more sense.
Mist of Shadows
2025-03-11 20:34:30 +0000 UTCCertain parts of Cauldron were in a secret meeting and were thus off world when things went down which means they're not going to be appearing in the story. Which is why Legend is in New York, trying to run things.
Mist of Shadows
2025-03-11 20:31:55 +0000 UTCWait, is the northern third of Mexico that is part of Patchwork! America actually called Old Mexico? Presumably to differentiate from New Mexico? That’s awesome. By the way, I’m assuming that the California Peninsula is included with America, but is it part of Old Mexico or is California larger? Because geographically it would make more sense to just include it with the latter.
Hunter128
2025-03-11 16:42:04 +0000 UTCI wonder if cauldron will find their way to patchwork bet or if they somehow died when the switch happened would truly be their just desserts for all the crap they did or let happen tftc
ZeroLink21
2025-03-11 06:28:09 +0000 UTC