Dungeon Myst Part 28

"Neat," Harry said when the teacher finished her lecture on the nature of alchemy and he got a notice informing him that he'd received a quick alchemy trait.

"In general," Julia Frankenstein said cheerfully. "Alchemy is a rewarding vocation, especially if you're willing to put the time into it to master the basics."

"The basics?" Xander asked.

"If anyone ever tells you that they've mastered alchemy and they're not a god, they're lying," Julia replied. "I doubt even most gods know absolutely everything about their chosen subjects, but I'm not willing to call them on it."

"Makes sense," Thea and Dawn agreed at the same time, causing Sunny to snicker.

"Did anyone get a trait?" Julia asked as she glanced over the students that had shown up for her class.

Harry raised his hand. "Quick alchemy, it reduces the time alchemy products take to create by two percent."

Julia gave Harry a smile. "Excellent, just remember, this is only the first step in your quest to acquire immortality and power beyond imagining."

Dawn laughed. "I can imagine a lot."

"That's fair," Julia admitted, rather amused by the current group of students. "Joking aside, Alchemy is probably the second best method of immortality that I've seen."

"What's the best?" Thea asked.

"Dorian Grey's painting, it made him practically indestructible and the painting absorbed the damage and curses that he should have taken. Making a potion that will extend your life indefinitely is relatively easy, making something that will keep you alive while you're being ripped apart is a lot harder and generally has physical or mental effects that are less than pleasant."

"Scars or Jekyll and Hyde?" Xander asked.

"Depends on the elixir, it could be either or both," Julia replied with a shrug. "I've seen some really horrible side effects, things that people have spent centuries trying to fix, often without any success."

Harry shivered as he thought about Voldemort's wraith. "That sounds unpleasant."

"Generally. There's a certain balance in alchemy between side effects, cost of the ingredients and the skill of the alchemist. I've never seen anyone pull off an immortality elixir that didn't have side effects."

"Does that mean it's not worth trying?" Alex asked.

"No, it just means you need to pick a side effect that you can live with, I know a witch that doesn't regenerate if she gets stabbed in the heart with an oak stake, she wears a bracelet that makes her immune to damage from wooden objects. Of course, something went wrong with the elixir and she ended up stuck at sixteen rather than mid twenties but you can't have everything."

"What are the downsides to using such a portrait?" Willow asked, curious if they could duplicate the painting for the group.

"Assuming you can find someone to create the portrait that won't screw you over and has the ability to create a perfect painting rather than an imperfect knock off, the only drawback is that all of the damage and age you've accumulated over the years will be returned to you if the painting is destroyed. You can mitigate most of the damage by wearing a ring of regeneration when the portrait is painted and by having an additional method of longevity."

"Makes sense, the ring would regenerate the person in the painting and the longevity would cover the aging, thus negating the main drawback if worse comes to worst," Xander mused. "Thank you for answering our questions."

"That's what I'm here for," Julia replied with a grin. "Speaking of extra work, do you want another class on woodworking and enchanting since Sabrina wants you to get some enchanting experience?"

"Yes!" Sunny squealed, happy about getting more information about enchanting.

"Let's head over to the magictech classroom since it gives the most experience towards enchanting, we can make some animated garden gnomes," Julia said enthusiastically as she headed for the door.

"Thank you," Hermione said, more than happy to have extra classes.

"Sounds fun," Harry agreed as the group followed the teacher.

"Is it just me or did she seem a bit too enthusiastic about making garden gnomes?" Firma asked as they left the classroom.

"Just a bit," Danielle agreed with Tara's twin. "But we get experience so I'm not going to complain."

0o0o0

'Drunk idiots,' Myst thought as he studied the group of extremely drunk and half dressed wizards that were bragging about the vicious pranks they'd pulled on muggles over the years while fondling the girls and young women that he'd summoned. 'No remorse, no fucking sense of self preservation,' he added as he discretely stunned one of the wizards that was already mostly unconscious and slumped in a chair after consuming way to many screwdrivers. 'At least the girls volunteered and I didn't have to order them to seduce the idiots.'

He worked his way around the room, stunning the wizards while the rest of them were distracted until he just quickly stunned the last four wizards before they could react or even understand that they were in danger.

"About time, this asshole has a short cock," Karen complained as she got off the wizard she'd been fucking.

"I would have traded you, mine was hung like a horse," Aisleen complained. “Too much of a good thing,” she muttered.

"Probably used a charm," Myst said as he used his magic extraction spell on the nearest unconscious wizard, killing him instantly and creating a glowing blue gem. He placed the gem in his bag then moved to the next wizard.

"You can stun him again, if he wakes up, right?" Gretchen asked as she glared at the wizard she'd been entertaining that sort of looked like a weasel.

"Why?" Myst as he put the gem he'd just extracted in his bag.

"Because he kept slapping my tits," Gretchen complained.

"Should be fine…" Myst trailed off as Gretchen stomped on the man's testicles, crushing them against the wooden chair he was in and causing the wizard to wake up screaming.

"You're supposed to grind them," one of the other women suggested.

'Sadistic bitch,' Myst glanced at the crazy woman with red hair then quickly stunned the wizard before the shock killed him or his screaming woke someone up. He walked over and extracted the man's magic, instantly killing him. "No torturing the wizards."

"Did you hear what they were saying about the girls they caught?" one of the girls asked.

"Yes," Myst replied as he extracted Frank's magic, killing him, “that’s why I’m doing this.”

"Great, we have a boss that thinks they have the moral high ground," one of the young women complained in a nasally and annoyed tone of voice that was like nails on a chalkboard.

Myst took a minute to look at each of the ten young women that he'd conjured, fairly sure he was only going to keep three of them since the rest had a collection of issues or entire subscriptions in a couple of cases. "It's not about morals, wizards can teleport and we don't have any wards against teleportation. I want them dead and I want their magic," he explained as he moved to the next wizard. "Besides, a dozen dead wizards without apparent injuries means death curses, no one is going to look at things twice unlike if they find a bunch of dead wizards that were physically tortured."

"Does that mean we can't skin them?" Leah asked with a pout.

"Why the hell would you want to skin them?!" one of the other women blurted out.

"I need a new dress," Leah replied with a shrug, not seeing a problem with recycling, it was the moral thing to do after all.

Myst ignored the 'discussion' as he walked around the room and extracted all of the wizards' magic, wanting to finish before someone decided to check on them or interrupt and saw a bunch of naked and unconscious wizards. He finished extracting the magic from the last wizard then turned his attention to the half naked, or in some cases, fully naked young women. "How many of you want to take some magic classes and deal with your mental issues?"

"Electroshock therapy, right?" one of the girls asked hopefully as she glanced at Karen.

Myst glanced at the teenage redhead with a foul mouth, both because of missing half her teeth and because she cursed like a sailor that had just hit his thumb with a wrench. "Last I checked, that doesn't actually work for most types of mental issues, Alanna."

"I'm not going to therapy," Gretchen stated.

"No therapy, no magic," Myst warned them.

"Fuck it, too much work," Karen complained. "Just pay us."

"Works for me," Myst replied as he pulled a handful of coins out of his bag and started making stacks of gold coins on the table. "Anyone that doesn't want therapy and a decent amount of work can take the gold and leave, you're free to go."

"Sweet!" one of the women said as scooped up a stack of coins and left, causing half the women to quickly copy her.

Myst wasn't surprised when six of the ten girls left and vanished from his minion list, mostly because they had lazy and or greedy traits and weren't particularly intelligent. "Does that mean the rest of you are staying with me?" he asked, glad that the woman that had suggested grinding the man's testicles had left.

"Absobloodylutely! I want Tinkerbell fucking magic!" Alanna squealed excitedly.

"Exactly," Leah agreed, looking forward to seeing what type of transformation spells she could come up with. "Please tell me we get to fuck a fairy!"

"I'm not leaving," Fiona assured him. "I'm your pet."

'At least she's cute and I can fix Alanna's teeth.' Myst looked at the last girl. "What about you?"

Rain ran her fingers through her crimson hair and smiled at Myst. "I just want to fuck a lot of attractive people and dance in the rain while tossing lightning bolts at everyone that annoys me, but I'm willing to put in the work if you'll have me."

"Of course," Myst agreed as he got to work looting the dead wizards' robes, on the off chance that they had something useful. He tossed one of the robes to Fiona. "Put the robe on, it should make walking out of here easier."

"Then what?" Leah asked, wondering what they were getting themselves into.

"Then we catch a train, give you magic, and sign you up for some magic classes," Myst replied, looking forward to being done with Harry's world for a bit.

0o0o0

"Third time's the charm," Hermione muttered as she set her gnome on the table, hoping her enchantment worked better than her last one. "Activate."

Julia gave Hermione a smile when the gnome didn't activate. "Go?"

"Work? Dance?" Hermione asked hopefully, feeling a bit embarrassed that her enchantment hadn't worked.

"It's not the easiest enchantment…" Julia trailed off as Thea said, "On!" and the eight inch wooden gnome twitched, fell over and started vibrating.

"I'm going to want a copy of that," Dawn said cheerfully as she thought about the fun things she could do with a voice activated vibrator.

"It's not supposed to do that," Hermione complained, wondering where she screwed up and if it was because she'd gotten distracted while enchanting it.

"Does it have an off switch?" Harry asked.

"Off?" Hermione ordered then frowned when it didn't work.

"Off," Thea ordered, causing the gnome to stop vibrating.

"On?" Hermione asked hopefully then glanced at Dawn's twin. "That's annoying."

"On," Harry said, causing the gnome figurine to start vibrating.

Thea snickered. "Off," she ordered, causing the gnome to stop vibrating.

"Looks like you flipped the permissions," Julia mused as she started reverse engineering the vibration enchantment.

"That doesn't explain why it vibrates instead of moving," Hermione complained, a touch annoyed that a certain amount of failure was baked into the skill system.

"Give me a second," Julia said as she pulled up the new enchantment. "Was Thea being particularly distracting when you enchanted it?"

"She was wiggling her tongue at me," Hermione admitted.

"Guilty," Thea teased, not feeling guilty in the slightest.

"That might explain why she has administrator access," Julia mused. "The enchanter can't activate the vibration function and the enchantment gives the enchanter the ability to select someone as the administrator for the enchantment, probably because it's a stripped down golem enchant. As for moving around, the enchantment is basically just telling the gnome to move back and forth rapidly…" she trailed off as the shadow cowgirl's gnome started spinning in place like a top rather than walking forward like it should. "Shadow girl, turn it off before it blows up."

"Off," the cowgirl ordered. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I just want to look at the enchantment," Julia replied as she focused on the girl's gnome and started reverse engineering it. "We can probably use it in a turbine or mill."

"By spinning a wheel, right?" Willow asked.

"Exactly," Julia replied as she pulled a golf ball sized rubber ball out of her pocket and dropped it in her enchanting window. She selected the new vibration enchantment and tweaked things so they could control the speed of the vibration then enchanted the ball, selecting Hermione as the person with control over the ball. She used a cleaning spell on the ball then tossed the ball to Thea. "Thanks for distracting Hermione and netting us a new toy, feel free to play with it for the rest of the class, Hermione should have administrative rights."

"Can you turn me on?" Thea teased as she brought the ball down to her crotch and started moving it around.

"On," Hermione replied without hesitation then grabbed another gnome off her desk and went to work trying to get the scaled down golem enchantment to work, doing her best to ignore Thea's giggles.

'Yeah, there's no way that Hogwarts is even half this fun,' Harry thought, glad that he'd spent a decent amount of time in St. Trinians so he could sort of focus while watching the attractive girl play with herself in the middle of class.

0o0o0

"What are you wearing?!" an older woman with a pinched face demanded as Myst and the girls left the train at the Surbiton Station.

Myst glanced down at their robes they'd looted from the wizards that certainly looked more like something you'd see in a renaissance faire or a movie than a bathrobe. "We were at a costume party and our ride decided to get drunk."

"Costume party?" the woman asked, wondering if the girls were actually muggles.

Myst shrugged. "Yeah, we're part of a book club, once a month we dress up like our favorite characters."

"Ah, sorry to bother you," the woman offered, then turned around and started walking.

"No worries," Myst replied as he turned and headed towards the street, wondering why the crazy lady cared what they were wearing. "Could be worse, at least she wasn't like the punk on the train that couldn't keep his mouth shut."

"Should be easier once they wire his jaw shut," Fiona said cheerfully.

"You realize that violence doesn't solve everything, right?" Myst asked.

Fiona gave Myst a smile that reminded him of a student giving a teacher a sarcastic answer. "I'm aware, it generally works better if you let them know why you're kicking their teeth in."

'Probably for the best that I'm not leaving her on her own,' Myst thought as they headed towards the Dursleys.

"We need to figure out how to toss lightning like a Sith Lord," Leah mused.

"That would be fantastic," Rain agreed as she gestured towards a couple of old folks that were giving them funny looks. "Boo!"

'At least some of the rooms fix mental issues,' Myst mused as they walked past the old people that were giving them disapproving looks. "Fuck it, I don't live here," he muttered as he opened his Enchanting menu and skimmed through his collection of enchantments.

"We could light some bitches up like baby fucking Christmas lights!" Alanna squealed cheerfully.

Myst nearly missed a step when his mind tried to process Alanna's comment and went to some very strange places. 'They don't have issues, they have subscriptions,' he mused as he dropped a shirt that he'd picked up into his Enchanting box and enchanted it with the ability to conjure a flying surfboard. He used his equipment doll on his character sheet to equip his shirt then used the magic to conjure a flying surfboard near the ground once the old people had walked past and there was no one looking at them. "As long as we keep it close to the ground, people should just assume it has wheels."

"I need some silver body paint," Alanna mused as she studied the floating surfboard.

"That would be awesome!" Fiona agreed, picturing flying through London in nothing but silver body paint while people tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Silver Surfer?" Myst asked as he stepped onto the floating surfboard.

"Exactly!" Alanna replied as she jumped up on the board behind Myst.

Leah stepped up on the board in front of Myst and sat down so that she wouldn't fall off. "Beats walking."

"Hell yeah!" Fiona agreed as she stepped onto the board between Leah and Myst then leaned back against Myst. "I need to learn to fly so you can ride me like a board."

"Flight would be awesome," Rain said as she stepped onto the board behind Alanna.

"Ready?" Myst asked the girls as he put an arm around Fiona's waist.

"Yes!" Fiona replied as she moved Myst's hand up to her left breast.

"Zoom!" Alanna said enthusiastically, looking forward to getting her own magic surfboard.

Myst gave Fiona's breast a light squeeze and mentally commanded the surfboard to start moving forward slowly, trying to give everyone a chance to get their balance.

"Faster!" Alanna complained when she realized she could walk faster than they were going.

"Harder!" Fionia added.

"As you wish," Myst said as he increased the board's speed until they were moving as fast as most people could run, figuring he could always increase the speed once they were used to it.

Rain snickered when they passed a group of children and the children stared at them in awe before trying to run after them to ask questions.

Myst waved at the children and increased their speed as he didn't want to get stuck giving the children a ride. His good mood lasted until they got within sight of the Dursleys and he recognized the ugly heavyset woman in her fifties that was arguing with Petunia outside of number four. "Fucking fantastic, so much for avoiding dealing with shit," he muttered as he slowed the surfboard to a stop in front of Petunia's house.

"Problem?" Fiona asked as Myst let go of her and jumped off the surfboard.

"More like an opportunity," Myst replied as he headed up the path towards Petunia and Marge.

Petunia scowled at the bulldog that was growling at her. "If you want to stay here, you can leave your beast chained up outside and you can keep a civil tongue."

"Nonsense, Ripper couldn't possibly stay outside," Marge argued.

"Ripper, does that make you Marge Dursley?" Myst asked as he walked over.

Marge sneered as she turned and saw the teenage girl wearing a black robe. "What do you want, freak?"

"Strike one," Myst said as he glanced at Ripper then back at Marge. "I was just curious about the ugly piece of shit rodent that you think is a dog."

"Ripper, attack!" Marge ordered, figuring a bit of pain would teach the girl some respect.

Myst kicked the bulldog in the snout as he lunged at him, snapping his neck and sending his corpse tumbling. "You should have had him on a leash." He smiled cold as Marge lunged at him with her walking stick screaming bloody murder. He reached up and caught the solid wooden walking stick with his hand. "Strike two."

"I'll kill you!" Marge screamed, causing several of the neighbors that had been eavesdropping on the conversation to shake their heads.

Myst ripped the stick out of her hand and smashed it down on her elbow with supernatural strength, shattering her elbow with a sickening crunch and causing Marge to scream in agony rather than rage. "Strike three," he added as he swung the stick at her shoulder, shattering her shoulder blade and the stick.

"You're one of Harry's friends, aren't you?" Petunia asked warily as she glanced at the rest of the girls in robes.

"Yes," Myst replied.

"Should have killed the freak!" Marge snarled.

Myst kicked Marge in the ribs, breaking several and tossing her on her back. He walked over and stomped on Marge's left knee, shattering it then did the same to her right knee. "Do you know the best part about being a freak? You don't have to care about what other people think."

"Are you going to kill her?" Petunia asked in a whisper.

Myst frowned when Marge passed out from the pain. "No, the dead can't suffer and I'd rather not complicate things by killing her in front of your neighbors."

"What do you want? Harry, isn't here," Petunia told her, slightly disappointed that she wasn't going to deal with Marge as the woman was a bitch and caused far more trouble than she was worth.

"I'm actually here because Harry mentioned that you had magic, I run a magical school and I'd like to extend an invitation," Myst explained.

"Can you deal with Marge?" Petunia asked as one of her more annoying neighbors rushed over.

"What is going on here?!" the woman demanded.

Myst turned to look at the woman in an ugly floral print dress that didn't disguise the fact that she could lose thirty pounds. "I was here to talk to Harry. The bitch said I was a freak so I called her rat an ugly piece of shit and she ordered it to attack me. I didn't want to have to get a rabies shot so I kicked it then beat the shit out of her when she tried to attack me."

"You're just as bad as the boy," the woman complained.

"Which boy?" Myst asked, wondering if she was being insulting by comparing him to Dudley or was actually stupid enough to think that Harry was a troublemaker.

"The Potter boy, he's a troublemaker," she warned him.

"And he fucks like Zeus on a comeback tour," Myst lied, causing the woman to sputter and stare at him in disbelief. "Just in case you're too stupid to understand, that was a joke," he told her after a few seconds. He turned to look at Petunia. "We'll be in touch. Do you want one of the girls to drive Marge to a hotel?"

"Might be for the best," Petunia agreed.

"Hotel? She should be in the hospital!" the neighbor argued.

Myst focused on the other side of Marge's car where no one should be looking and used his conjure wench ability, hoping he got someone with driving skills. He quickly pulled up his new minion's character sheet when he realized his minion was wearing a sheer and rather naughty nurse's outfit. 'Amy McCloud? Six two, nineteen, decent ability scores and a brilliant trait. Three points in Medicine and Chemistry and four in Biology, one point in driving, not a bad minion if you ignore the fact that she's a werewolf and likes maiming people that piss her off.'

"Hey boss," Amy said as she walked around the car.

Myst smiled as he got a decent look at the tall athletic and busty redhead that wasn't wearing underwear and looked damned good. "Hey."

"What are you wearing?!" the neighbor demanded, glaring at Amy in disgust.

"My uniform," Amy replied with an exaggerated shrug, rather amused by the way the woman looked like she'd swallowed a lemon. "Do you want me to take the bitch to the hospital?" she asked Myst.

"I'm calling the police!" the neighbor snapped then stalked off.

"I should probably report the incident," Petunia admitted as she headed for the house, hoping that Marge didn't survive her injuries, because she never wanted to deal with her again.

"Best of luck," Myst told her and started walking toward the park where one of the other entrances to the underground complex was, figuring he'd talk to Harry about arranging a door so that they could get to the gremlin school. "Let's go."