Expressions (Alva & Lillian Snippet)

       “We do not convey emotions like you do.” Alva had said once the light outside turned scarlet and the birds tucked into bed. Chirping softly to the stars.

Lillian spends several moments processing what she meant, eyebrow lifting and mouth opening to ask. It’s not a new thing for Alva to break the silence between them; she hardly did though before bedtime. So it must have been important.

“Please, allow me to elaborate.” Alva pipes up, leaning forward to brush a stray hair out of Lillian’s face, fingers ghosting across her cheek.

She knows immediately that there must be an interesting expression on her by the way Alva’s lips upturn in a smile.

Part of her wants to speak her question anyway, as she always does, but she decides against it.

Sitting back with her hands loose on Alva’s waist, mouth closed. It’s a position they often found themselves in the evening. Alva between Lillian’s legs, idly chattering about the day’s events.

It was something Lillian often looked forward to, despite never speaking it aloud. Especially when Alva’s fingers would work their way into her dark hair as she became lost in thought. Or how Alva would sometimes sit on her lap while they read a book together.

In those times, Lillian would find herself ignoring the pages and pages of text to stare at her, memorizing everything. Tracing the faint scars or counting the moles on Alva’s skin.

“There is no heart residing in my chest.” Alva says finally, hands resting on Lillian’s shoulders.

Her eyes widened automatically as she was dragged out of her pining thoughts. “I don’t understand.”

It’s not that she had been unexposed to the topic — it was the opposite really. Elementary teachers taught the subject immediately so that students could better understand.

Daemons not possessing hearts was well known.

Alva’s earlier smile turned to a bemused frown and she looked uncertain for a moment, tilting her head to one side. Similar to how a puppy would when they heard something unfamiliar.

“You’re—Why are you lying?” Alva asks slowly, removing her hands from Lillian’s shoulders to entangle in her hair. “You do not have to be dishonest with me.”

“I know,” Lillian says, smirking. I just like hearing you talk.

“...Ah, you’re teasing me.” Alva sighs, brows knit and frown still evident on her soft features. “That is–That is infuriating.”

Lillian can feel her smile turning into a mischievous grin. It’s not often one could mess with Alvera Emerson nor be this physically close. “Nevermind me, Alva. Do you want to continue?”

There’s a moment of calm before Alva’s ears flick. Maybe the late hour had made her mind sluggish, or something (or a certain someone) was distracting her.

“Oh, yes.” She speaks, voice just above a whisper in the darkening room. The sun finally began to set outside, casting a peaceful orange hue across them. “Where was I?”

“You were about to tell me what was in place of a heart in there.” She gently pokes at the center of Alva’s chest. “Besides your obsession with fried food.”

Alva huffs in response as she pointedly does not comment on the relentless teasing. Her hands merely drop from Lillian’s hair to hers, fingers intertwining to prevent further poking.

“Something tells me that you were already aware.” Alva shakes her head. Whenever she did that, her fox-like ears moved in an almost hypnotic fashion. Lillian had touched them once to Alva’s distress.

She had learned her lesson very quickly.

“Yes, I am.” Lillian says. “I didn’t know that it sounded like a purr, though.”

“...When…” she pauses, averting her gaze to the side. From how close they were, it was easy for Lillian to see the dark dusting of embarrassment spreading across her face. “When we are angry or exhilarated.”

It happens when we sleep together. The memory of pressing her ear against Alva’s chest while she listened to the low hum was still fresh in her mind. Probably because it happened so often.

Alva clears her throat before beginning to move away. Settling down onto the mattress beside her.

Being so close again makes Lillian shift uncomfortably. It feels almost suffocating but comforting all at once. Because Lillian wants Alva even closer, back in her arms again. Hands on her waist, fingers idly drawing circles across warm skin.

“I understand now.” Lillian says, “Is there any other Daemon thing you want to share?”

“Perhaps another time.” Alva replies, scooting further away to lay down. “You appear to be distracted tonight.”

As Lillian joins her under the cotton sheets, arms strictly at her own sides, she nods. The weight of not being able to speak her mind or being just a little braver crushing her. She is unsure whether or not she could ever be honest.

She hoped one day she would.