Hottie in the Mirror 2nd Draft
Added 2024-10-04 00:05:50 +0000 UTCHello Everyone!
Normally, when I edit stories these days, the end product is fairly similar to the first draft, just refined a little.
Compared to that, Hottie in the Mirror 4 has had some major additions. This draft is 86 pages long, 26 pages longer than the rough draft. I thought I would request another round of feedback to see how people feel about the new scenes.
Here is a changelog:
Expanded initial Anton sex scene by ~1/2 a page.
Added a completely new "spin-the-bottle" scene at the sleepover Lexi and Claire attend. ~14 pages
Expanded the Claire/Lexi sex scene at the end of the sleepover, (mostly dealing with the aftermath of spin-the-bottle) ~1 1/2 pages.
Added a completely new scene where Lexi talks to her dad on the phone. ~4 pages
Expanded the final threesome to include more dominating/dirtytalking aspects. ~3 1/2 pages.
Smoothing, rewording, and corrections throughout the text.
I have highlighted major changes in green for anyone who just wants to read through the new bits. I know that the top note last time was that the final threesome needed more. Does this accomplish that? Does it still need even more? Does the humiliating dirty talk go too far? Let me know what you think!
Also, I am wondering whether I should attach the epilogue to this and combine them for release on Literotica, or release them as two separate chapters. What do you all think? The upside for separating them would be to keep the page length down a little. But I worry that the epilogue might feel a little anti-climatic as a stand-alone story.
