Downward Dog: Part One Rough Draft
Added 2024-03-08 15:41:22 +0000 UTCHello!
I ran into a little snag in the middle of drafting my latest freelancer story. It's waaaay too long. Today I realized it was already almost the length of one of my typical stories and I was just about halfway done.
Because of this I will be making Downward Dog a two part story, with the first part to be released soon.
I'm doing something a little different in this story. Instead of a slow breakdown, Jackie plans to overwhelm Heather and make her submit early on. This works because Heather is a naturally weak person who acts like a bitch to hide her insecurities.
Do these ideas come through in the story?
Does Heather’s quick submission feel natural or contrived?
That scene may need some rewrites to make it feel realistic.
I'm also planning on some expansion of the final sex scene. I've noticed that I have a bad habit of having my submissive go silent in sex scenes, so more dialogue is needed from Heather and Luke. I would also like to have Jackie keep up the pretense that the sex scene is a "training session" for a bit longer.
I've decided to try out a poll system for draft feedback. I think it might be easier for people to click an answer on a poll rather than type out a response.
That being said I welcome comments as well!
Thanks for reading!
Poll: What is your opinion of this draft?
