That very time in the Universe when you could sum up your ass and your face or someone else's face

I start to tell you the fucking amazing story of how the Universe was born.

And of course, I’ll start with the real mind-fuck, the very first moments of the Universe, before the first 10^(-43) seconds.

To give you a sense of scale: 10^(-6) is one millionth of a second, six zeros after the decimal, 0.000006.

Now imagine 10^(-47). That’s 46 zeros after the decimal.

OK I WILL WRITE

0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 SECOND

Yeah. That kind of shit, buddy.

That instant is called the Planck epoch.

It’s called that because everything that happened back then was on “Planck scales” - the smallest possible lengths and times that even make sense to talk about in physics.

You remember when I told you about h, the Planck constant?

It’s the same idea here.

space stops being smooth, time stops flowing evenly, and the laws of physics as we know them just stop working.

That’s what “Planck conditions” mean.

For example, there’s something called the Planck time. It's such a ridiculously short moment that light can only travel the tiniest meaningful distance, called the Planck length.

Smaller than that, well, your ex’s dick (or your ex’s boobs). It doesn’t even make sense to say “before” or “after,” because the very concept of time and space just stops existing altogether.

So physicists say: everything that happened before 10^(-43) seconds after the Big Bang belongs to the Planck epoch, because at that point only Planck-scale physics applied, and we’d need new laws, quantum gravity, to describe it.

No one knows what that really is, but damn, it sounds cool, right?

Space-time was a fucking mess. Nothing made sense. There was no up or down, no left or right, no clue whose dick or where.

There were no particles yet just some compressed, incomprehensible something, extremely dense.

but impossible to “hold” because gravity didn’t even exist properly yet.

Well, technically, all four forces were mixed together: gravity, electricity, and the nuclear ones. It was like you could mix your ass with your face and call it a theory. But not for long.

That orgy ended when gravity finally split off from the rest.

I’ll tell you about that in the next part.