The Girl He Could Be - Part 11

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Nancy had a surprise for him when they arrived at Patty’s. "Jeff called, and he and Brad want to take us out for dinner and a movie."

After his experience with Kevin the other night, Tim was a little nervous about that. That reminded him, and he asked them, "What would make my new breasts so sensitive?" He felt the odd sensation almost all the time now, whenever anything brushed against them. Even the material of his bra brought a reaction.

They weren’t sure what to tell him. Nancy suggested, "It must be that the nerves around your muscles were affected by the chemical stimulation, too." Neither of them was ready to be completely honest.

"I have to admit that it’s stimulating." Tim liked the feeling and was almost sorry that it would pass.

Back to the subject at hand. "Where are they taking us?"

"Jeff didn’t say. He just said we should get dressed up a little. You could probably wear what you're wearing now." Tina looked nice in the shirt dress.

He would have rather not have had to wear heels, but he supposed he could manage a few more hours.

Tim had promised to call Sandy, so he went into Patty’s room and called. He was on the phone for nearly forty-five minutes, telling her all about the past two days. They made tentative plans for Monday night. 

Sandy wanted to know how he felt about Janet joining them. Tim said that’s fine; he thought she was really nice, and they had gotten along well. That taken care of, Tim started getting ready to go out.

They had spent most of the day cleaning the house. Patty’s mom and dad would be back from their trip on Sunday, and she wanted to have the house in the same condition her mother left it: spotless. Patty’s mother was a neat freak.

Patty and Nancy got started as soon as she got back from taking Tina to the mall. The noise of the vacuum cleaner finally woke up Pam and Sue around eleven. They helped for a while, then Pam said they had something she and Sue just had to do. They were gone by noon, and they had really done very little to help.

It really pissed Patty off that they were such lazy freeloaders. There wasn’t much she could say. It took her and Nancy most of the day to do it all because it included cutting and edging the yard.

What Pam and Sue had to do was shop. "There are a few more things I want to get for our boy."

"What else does he need?" Sue wondered. "He has almost a complete wardrobe." "Remember what I told him about sexy underwear? Now that we have some money, I thought we should go and get him a few things. Besides, I want a new outfit, and I think it’s only fair that he buys us each one, considering everything we’ve done for him." The girls took care of themselves first. 

Sue wasn’t as comfortable spending Tim’s money on themselves as Pam was. Between them, they had spent almost one hundred and fifty dollars. "Don’t you think that’s enough, Pam?"

Pam had a new dress, and Sue had a stylish two-piece shorts outfit. "I suppose so. Let’s go see what we can find for Tina."

They found everything they wanted, and more, at Fredrick’s. The guys picked them up at seven. Brad was really nervous. He was glad he was double-dating with Jeff and Nancy. "I told you, Brad, there’s nothing to be afraid of. She likes you, Nancy told me."

That didn’t make it any easier. Brad had always had trouble with girls. With his lack of confidence, he never knew what to say to them.

"You did fine talking to her the other day. Just do what you did then. You’ll be ok." Jeff wondered how a relative of his could be so shy.

"Hi Tina, ready?" He stood at the door, pushing a pebble around with his foot. She looked great. At the pool, she looked cute and sexy in the little suit. Now she looked different, older, and more sophisticated. He was wearing dress pants, one of his best shirts, and a tie. He wondered now if he shouldn’t have worn a jacket.

It was funny seeing him so nervous. How would he feel if he knew who was really standing in front of him? Tim had told himself that he wasn’t going to think about that tonight. Tonight, he was just Tina and nothing else. 

The new underwear he was wearing helped him to forget Tim. Pam and Sue had brought him some new things. They really surprised him. He had trouble reading those two. One minute they try to embarrass him, and the nex, they couldn’t be sweeter to him. They had to have spent a lot of money on him today. Pam had convinced him to wear some of the new things tonight, but he didn’t agree until he saw Patty and Nancy’s nod of approval. The delicate black lace bra looked and felt sexy, but the black garter belt, string nylon bikinis, and lace-topped black stockings really did it for him. There were a dozen other pieces, all as sexy. Tim was delighted. His conscience bothered him, though. All the money he and the girls had spent was wasted if they couldn’t wear the clothes after he left in a week. It was an awful waste of money.

Tim stood with Nancy as the guys opened the car doors for them, and they slipped in, Tina in back with Brad and Nancy in front with Jeff. The scene was repeated at Steak and Ale, where Jeff had made reservations.

Tim was acutely aware of what he wore under the dress. Pam had been right about the way the garter belt made him feel.

Brad held Tina’s chair as she sat at the table. Jeff and Nancy got a kick out of Brad. Nancy, of course, expected the same treatment, and it only took one look at Jeff for him to realize it. 

Tim ordered a light meal. He was becoming conscious of his weight. It was one of the things that was constantly stressed in the class. There was another reason, too. 

Most everything on the menu was expensive, and he was worried about what it would cost Brad. Brad carried Tina’s salad plate back from the salad bar for her and held her chair for her again.

Tim enjoyed being pampered this way. "Nothing makes a girl feel more feminine than to be treated like a lady," Nancy explained to him later that evening. Jeff and Nancy kept the conversation alive as they ate. Tim contributed, but Brad added little. 

He could see that Brad was nervous. Tim was anxious to tell about the modeling school, but that wasn’t likely to interest the two guys.

It seemed funny to have someone else take care of the check while you just sit back and pretend it doesn’t exist. At the movies, Tim and Nancy talked while the guys bought the tickets. It was nothing to Nancy: "Get used to it, Tina; enjoy it."

Tim paid particular attention to the way he sat in the movie. As he crossed his legs, the garters reminded him of what he was supposed to be. They made him feel sensual. Brad didn’t immediately get up the nerve to put his arm around her. He knew he had done it at his house, but this was different. 

He didn’t know how she’d take it. Tim waited, knowing it was coming. It was a quarter of the way into the movie before Brad got up the courage, and Tim didn’t try to remove it as long as his hand stayed on his shoulder. 

Just the same, he would have preferred that Brad didn’t try to be so familiar with him. It was his turn to be nervous.

There were no side trips on the way home. Jeff and Nancy said goodbye in the car. Brad walked Tina to Patty’s front door. He knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it with the girl.

"I had a really nice time, Brad, thanks." Tim knew what would normally happen at this point on a date. He waited for a response from Brad. He knew he didn’t want the response Brad probably had in mind.

"I did too, Tina. You’re kind of special, did you know that?" 

"What do you mean, Brad?" Tim was afraid he meant he was too different from the other girls he had been with.

"You’re very pretty, but you’re still easy to talk to. Most girls with your looks are usually so stuck up." He didn’t know where the courage came from to say it. He almost regretted what he said; she was probably thinking he was a jerk.

Tim found the right words. "That’s very sweet of you, Brad." Tim wanted to go inside. He didn’t want things to go any further than they had. Brad had made him feel good about Tina, and he appreciated it, but that was enough.

Brad was just reaching out for her hand when she spoke.

Tim knew what was coming. "Good night, Brad." Tim knew what he had to do. He gave Brad a peck on his cheek before Brad knew what was happening. If he hadn’t done that when he did, then Tim would have been very embarrassed.

Patty had left the door open for them, and Tim hurried inside, closing the door slowly as he watched Brad walk back to the car. Nancy joined Tim in a moment. She didn’t pry. Tim looked bewildered. "What am I doing? I’m not gay! I’m not supposed to be kissing a guy!"

Nancy didn’t know what to say. Seeing him like this, confused, she knew she should have told Jeff no. Brad should have made his own date with Tina, giving Tim a chance to say no. 

"In a week, I’m going to be Tim again. This is not good." Tim was having a real problem seeing himself as a boy at the moment.

"Don’t think about it anymore tonight, Tina. Let’s just go to bed and get some sleep." Nancy had a sick feeling in her stomach. Keeping the secret from Tim was eating her up inside. The effects of the complications caused by Brad’s affections didn’t help any. It seemed to be really messing up his thinking.

As he undressed, getting ready for bed, he had a lot to think about. He carefully put away his sexy-feeling underwear. He was bothered by how much he enjoyed wearing it that night. Tim didn’t sleep very well. He enjoyed everything the girls had done for him, but he didn’t like the part that included guys. He wanted no part of that, he told himself. If things got any more complicated, he was going to have to quit and go home. This time he’d do it. Tim felt better after a little sleep. He was looking forward to getting dressed up for church. What to wear? Over a dozen new dresses and at least that many skirt and blouse outfits, and they couldn’t decide what Tina should wear.

"That one’s too plain, that’s too dressy, that’s a party dress." They finally agreed on the floral print full skirt and matching, cream-colored, long-sleeved broadcloth blouse with the lace trim around the high collar. The shoes that Sandy had picked out when they bought the outfit matched the blouse perfectly.

Tim was ready, waiting for Nancy to come by with her family to pick him up. He was very nervous. His mother, stepfather, and sister would be going to church today, but he didn’t know what service they would attend. Regardless, there would be plenty of people who knew Tim. 

Tim knew, in his head, that he wouldn’t be recognized. That wasn’t what his heart told him. Patty had taken Nancy home earlier so she could get ready. Nancy hadn’t brought anything to wear to church when she came for the week. Pam and Sue had gathered up all their things and gone to stay at Pam’s last night.

Tim and Patty were still talking about last night when Nancy’s father’s car pulled up out front. Patty wasn’t going to church today. She didn’t know what time her parents would be home, and she wanted to be there when they got home.

Tim slipped into the back seat with Nancy and her sister.

"You look lovely, Tina." Mrs. Watkins told Tina as they drove off. Tim felt pretty. "Thank you." This was just one of the many things Tim liked about pretending to be a girl.

The Browns pulled up about the same time as they did, and they all walked to the church from the parking lot together.

Mrs. Brown was anxious to talk to Tina and see how she was. "Hi, Tina." She walked up alongside her. Her husband was busy talking to Bob, Nancy’s father. Jeff and Nancy walked hand in hand, apart from the rest of the group. 

Mrs. Watkins, Jenette, and Kim joined Tina and Carol. Jenette was a little concerned about Tina. "Are you going back to your little apartment now that Patty’s folks are coming home today?"

"I guess so." Where else would he go?

Carol didn’t realize that she was leaving Patty’s house today. "I don’t like the idea of you staying in some strange apartment by yourself, Tina."

"Neither do I, Carol." Jenette agreed.

Little Kim made the suggestion first. "Why don’t you stay with us until your family arrives?" Jenette liked the idea, but they just didn’t have the room. Kim and Nancy already shared a bedroom, and they didn’t have a spare bedroom. "I wish she could, Kim, but there just isn’t enough room."

Tim was relieved to hear that, and he was about to tell Mrs. Watkins that he would be fine when Mrs. Brown voiced her idea.

"Tina, you’ll stay with us until your parents arrive next week." Carol had the room.

Tim started to object, "That’s very nice of you, Mrs. Brown, but" "There’s no objecting, young lady. 

I insist, and I know that your parents would approve. We’ll call them this afternoon and tell them." Carol’s mind was made up. Tim didn’t know what to say. How could he get out of it? More importantly, how were they going to talk to ‘her parents’?

Carol didn’t expect a response. It was settled as far as she was concerned. They went into church.

Nancy had overheard the conversation and made sure that Tim sat next to her in church.

"What else can you do?" She whispered to him.

"I don’t know." Tim was very worried. "What am I going to do about the phone call they want to make to Atlanta?"

"We’ll figure out some way to handle that later. Jeff’s mom is very stubborn, and there’s no way you’re going to get out of it." Nancy spoke from experience. Services started, and it was too quiet now for them to discuss it any further. Tim looked around, praying he wouldn’t see his family. 

He was almost convinced that they weren’t there when he spotted them, almost all the way down in front. He was relieved that his new friends and their families hadn’t decided to sit up there. He would be gone before they even got out the door. At least they would be in the car.

He had been in this church hundreds of times. His mother used to make him and Bridget go every week. Now, this time felt like the first time. He sat properly, with his legs crossed, his hands folded properly in his lap over his skirt that he had pulled down over his stockinged knees. He didn’t even feel uncomfortable in his heels, sitting there. It felt nice, strange, but nice.

Tim noticed several people who would know Tim on sight, but no one recognized Tina. The way he looked today was such a departure from Tim. Even the minister, greeting his congregation on the way out after the service, didn’t recognize the boy he had given communion to.

Tim had pointed out his mother, sister, and stepfather as he and Nancy were leaving, and they both hurried to the car. Nancy’s family wasn’t in as much of a rush. They had stopped to talk to friends.

"Tina, they probably wouldn’t know you if they saw you. Don’t worry." Nancy assured him as they stood next to the car. They couldn’t get in; her dad had the keys. 

"My mom would know." He was sure. Tim looked back at the gathering in front of the church. "Oh God, here they come." Tim wanted to run and hide. Nancy turned and spotted them too. They were heading for the parking lot, and that would mean they would have to walk right past them. If only her parents hadn’t stopped to gossip. "Just turn and face me, Tina. We’ll keep your back to them; they won’t even see you. I’ll guide you so you know where they are. Just pretend we’re talking."

She kept his back to them as they approached. They were going to walk right by, within a few feet of them.

Bridget noticed the two girls. She had seen the one facing her in church before, but she couldn’t see the face of the other. The girl with her back to her had on the prettiest outfit. Bridget really liked it. 

She had noticed it through the crowd in church when they stood to leave. She considered asking her where she bought it. They had already passed them when she decided she’d go back and find out.

"Mom, I’ll be with you in a second." Bridget turned and started back for the girls who were still standing there.

"Damn, Tina. Your sister is coming back this way."

"Where’s she going?" Tim asked very nervously.

Nancy was afraid to tell him, but it was obvious by where she was looking. "She’s coming over to us."

Tim felt faint. His knees were weak, and he grabbed the door handle to support himself.

"Excuse me," Bridget called out. "May I ask you a question?"

"What is it?" Asked Nancy, walking past Tim, toward the older girl. "I wondered where your friend bought her outfit. I’d like to find one like it." She stopped in front of Nancy, only a few feet from Tim. It seemed odd to her that the girl didn’t turn around when she asked the question.

Bridget stepped past Nancy, and there wasn’t anything Nancy could do to stop her. She put her hand gently on the girl’s arm. "I’d love to know where you bought that." With that, she stepped around and faced Tim.

If he hadn’t been holding onto the door handle, he probably would have dropped to the ground.

Bridget’s hand went to her mouth. The look on her face told how she felt about seeing her brother like this. "You disgust me, Timmy. You’re so sick." She took a deep breath. Tim couldn’t speak. He felt like he was going to be sick, and he started to cry.

"Mother would die if she saw you like this." Bridget couldn’t get away from him fast enough. She hurried back toward her stepfather’s car. 

She would tell them what she had seen, but not until they were well away from here. She knew what her stepfather would do, and she didn’t want her mother any more hurt than she already was. He would not be content to drive away. 

He would come back and publicly humiliate Tim, and that would destroy her mother. No, not here. Not at church. It would wait until they got home.

Nancy had to help him stand. 

"You’ve got to get yourself together before my parents come back. They won’t understand why you’re crying, and I just don’t know what to tell them." Tim knew she was right. He did his best, and when they got to the car about five minutes later, Tim’s eyes were still red, but the crying had stopped.

"What’s wrong, sweetheart?" Asked Jennette.

Nancy answered for him, "She just misses her folks."

Jennette could understand a young girl missing her parents, but Tina had obviously been crying pretty hard for her eyes to be that red. Was there something more than that, something she wasn’t telling them? 

She wasn’t going to pry now, but she would talk to Carol and ask her to see if she could help the poor thing. "You poor dear." Carol took Tina in her arms and held her. "It’s hard sometimes. You’ll let me help if I can?"

Tim couldn’t help himself, and he started crying again. Jennette had Kim get in front with her father while she climbed in back with Tina and Nancy. She held Tina close all the way back to Patty’s.

"We’re just going to collect Tina’s things and take them over to Mrs. Brown’s." Patty’s folks weren’t home yet when they got there. "Patty will run us over, then I’ll come home and change before I go back."

That sounded fine with her mom and dad.

Tim hadn’t said anything on the short ride to Patty’s. He stopped crying; his eyes were still very red.

"What happened?" Patty asked as she came out to see Tim’s red eyes. It was obvious that he’d been crying.

Nancy told Patty what had happened while Tim used her bathroom to get the rest of the tears out of his system.

"I couldn’t believe what his sister did."

"I told you she was a real bitch." Patty wouldn’t forget what she had said to him at the convenience store.

"I believed you, but I didn’t think she could be that horrible." Nancy was aghast at how she treated her brother.

They had left Tim alone for a while, and when he came out of the bedroom, they were surprised to see him in Tina’s jeans and t-shirt. He wore his baseball cap with his hair barely tucked underneath. His hair was too full to fit under it anymore without slicking it down. "I’m going home." Tim wasn’t angry with them, but he had had enough. He couldn’t take the strain anymore.

They didn’t argue with him. They didn’t want him to go, but they wouldn’t get in his way.

Patty did point out one thing. "Tina,"

He said in his male voice, "Tim."

Patty let him correct her. "Tim, you need to do something about your breasts before you go.

They’re too obvious through your T-shirt."

He looked down at himself. He had thought about it, but figured he could get away with the way he looked. She was right; they were too obvious, even under the loose-fitting cotton tee. They went back inside and used the wide tape again to help him hold them down temporarily. The tape hurt, but he would bear the pain until he got home. "I’ll stay inside all week until my chest returns to normal."

They had to tell him, and Nancy decided it was her responsibility. "Tim, it may take more than a week for you to get back to normal."

No,w Tim felt fear, and it grabbed his insides and twisted them. "What do you mean?" "Pam told us that what she gave you could last a little longer than that." Nancy was afraid to tell him the truth. She was afraid of how he’d react.

Pam again. He was right not to trust her. "How long?" he asked fearfully.

Patty couldn’t let Nancy take all the blame. "It could last six months." Tim didn’t say anything. He felt like his world had dropped out from under him. The tears returned, even more than before, and he lay on the bed and cried. Nancy and Patty felt helpless. All they could do was try to console him. "If there were a way to go back and change what we did to you, we would, Tina." Through his tears he sobbed, "Tim."

It was more than an hour later when they left for his apartment. They had fixed his hair so that it fit under his hat, and his chest looked reasonably normal. It hurt something terrible, but he endured it for the short trip.

The key didn’t work in the lock. Tim didn’t understand. "I have to call my landlord." They went to a phone booth. The delay was terrible for Tim. His chest was killing him. "Mr. Stevens. This is Tim Hynes."

"What do you want?" Stevens was annoyed by the call. He wanted nothing else to do with the boy or his family.

Tim couldn’t help but notice the man’s tone. He didn’t know why he seemed so irritated. He went on, "My apartm... . "

Now Stevens was really mad. "Young man, you no longer have an apartment. Your mother has taken care of that. If you’re looking for your things, your mother has them. Don’t call me again." He slammed the phone down.

Tim looked bewildered as he looked at Nancy and Patty, the phone still in his hand.

"We heard," said Nancy, equally puzzled.

"She emptied your apartment, and you’ve lost it?" Patty couldn’t believe it. If Tim felt lost before, he was shattered now. "What am I going to do?" Again, his eyes began to fill with tears. "I don’t have a place to live or even any clothes to wear." He thought about his money in the bank in Tina’s name. "I can’t even get my money out of the bank to buy anything."

Nancy was worried about even suggesting it, but what else could he do? "Tim, come back with us as Tina until we can help you figure out what to do." What else could he do? Back at Patty’s, the first thing he did was get rid of the tape on his chest. It was a relief. He changed and put on Tina’s clothes again. He felt more comfortable back in Tina’s things. Even his bra was welcome after the horrible way the tape made him feel. They couldn’t risk his looking like Tim if Patty’s folks happened to walk in, so he made the change quickly.

They had sat down to talk when he had another idea. "I could go to my boss and ask him for an advance on my pay."

"As Tina?" Nancy regrettably reminded him.

That he couldn’t do, and it was only then he realized it might be a long time before he could go back to work. "What am I going to do?"

Nancy and Patty could only see one way for him to hold out until he went back to normal, and Tim finally agreed after he thought about it.

"What about my ‘parents’ in Atlanta? What do I tell Mrs. Brown when there’s no one to call there and no one shows up next week to claim their daughter?" They had to find a way around that.

Patty was the first to suggest it. "Why don’t we tell them that they aren’t going to be coming just yet? That their plans have changed?"

Nancy put the kibosh on that. "They’ll still want to talk to them about Tina." "How about if we tell them that her parents have really split up and neither of them wants Tina?" Patty suggested.

Neither of her parents wants her. Do you think they’d believe that?" Nancy wouldn’t.

"You’re right. I wouldn’t believe that either." Patty had run out of ideas. Tim came up with the next one. In a melancholy tone, he suggested. "How about if the rest of my family were killed in a car accident and they put me in a horrible foster home, so I ran away?. I’ll say I have no relatives. That’s the closest thing to the truth. My real father’s dead, and as far as my mother is concerned, so is she. I really don’t have any relatives." They didn’t like the sound of his voice. He sounded awfully depressed. They agreed that the story would eliminate a lot of questions and problems. There were still one or two that might plague them. Patty asked one, "But won’t they try to send you back to Atlanta?"

"Mrs. Brown wouldn’t do that. I know her. It would be like World War Three to get her to give up Tina after she heard her story."

Patty put her arm around him. "Tina, it won’t be forever."

Tim didn’t object when she called him ‘Tina’ this time. He had gotten pretty used to it by now, and it looked like he would be hearing it a while longer.