Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 23: Freight Train Diplomacy

Tandy's dagger felt strange in my hand.

I stabbed the Golgothan hard in the belly. Too hard. To my horror, I watched my hand and forearm sink into the creature. The cloth wrapped around my face blocked out most of the smell, but I couldn't block out the feeling of my hand being coated in sludge.

I waited for retribution, crouched over, and stuck. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the appendage coming. Springing to the side as it hit, I forced my body to go limp. In a flash, half of my health bar vanished. Smacked into the wall of the cavern, sliding down into a heap. Face down.

"You killed Cole!!" Meredeath screamed, charging at the beast. It was an impressive yell. I almost believed she cared about me. If things were going as planned, Leo'd be right behind her, drawing his share of the demon's attention.

I'd carefully fallen so my arm cradled my head, keeping it out of the muck coating the floor. I tried not to breathe, as my heart thumped loudly in my veins.

Counting silently, I imagined the team performing their pre-planned actions.

It didn't seem like the boss knew I was still alive. Thank the Ever Bear. Prone and vulnerable like this, it'd have taken one geyser, one aimed hit, to finish me off.

The fight was going better than last time. Meredeath and Leo were grunting as they knocked health off the demon.

"Watch out, short-range breath attack!" Tandy shouted. I could hear the creature inhale. Fear lodged in my chest. This was the weakest part of our plan. This area attack would kill me if they hadn't drawn it far enough away.

I could hear Leo and Meredeath increase their hits, trying to push it further away. They weren't sure they'd gotten it far enough away from me. Each step they took was difficult due to the swampy septic runoff pulling at their feet.

The creature exhaled through orifices scattered throughout its body. A thick, noxious yellow gas emitted from the holes like splattering geysers filled with rotten eggs. A sulfurous miasma enveloped anyone within ten feet of the beast.

Thankfully, it wasn't close enough to decrease my health. However, the smell made my nose twitch. I hadn't practiced my death feint for ten minutes for nothing. I squeezed my watering eyes shut, willing myself not to cough, move, or react. I waited for the end...

... that didn't come.

I kept my attention on my health bar, which had slowly increased.

Leo let loose a battle cry, and I heard a thunk as the back end of his axe struck. Gloop rained down from the ceiling. I cringed as two hit me, taking off five more points of damage.

"Leo, look out!" Tandy yelled as the Golgothan let loose a battle cry of its own. A sickening thwack sent Leo careening towards me. As his staggered footsteps got louder, I braced. He knocked into me, causing my 'dead' body to roll. I suppressed a groan. My job of pretending to be dead just got infinitely more complicated, as my face rolled towards the fight.

Leo scrambled to get up. Tandy threw a woven net at the monster. The net landed on the beast's head.

"[Tighten the Weave]! Nothing happened. "Oh, for the love of wool, [Tighten the Weave]!" she roared. The net sat, unimpressively, on the Golgothan's face. Tandy let loose another string of invective insults.

Meredeath sprang into action before the monster targeted Tandy. Her hands shifted into claws as she leaped forward, slashing rapidly. Clods of Golgothan flew. Leo elbowed me in the gut, slipping as he tried to stand up. He was a bit woozy from the last hit.

The Golgothan was missing an arm. Leo's hit had been massive. The creature looked down at Meredeath's tiny frame and was unimpressed. It slammed down the remaining arm on her head. Her amulet glowed red, absorbing the damage. She staggered back.

The boss inhaled. I closed my eyes, knowing what was next. It was going to activate another breath attack. This time, I was too close.

Leo realized it too, and he charged, ramming the creature in the gut. The hit worked, expelling the deadly gas out of its mouth in one whoosh. Leo and Meredeath were covered, but the toxicity stayed localized. Tandy and I were still safe.

Leo bent down, coughing, as Meredeath used him to pull herself up. Her amulet glowed an ominous red as it absorbed more damage. She looked pale in the red light. With the beast’s attention elsewhere, I blinked to clear my eye. Had her makeup changed? I couldn't tell if it'd gotten smudged, but it looked like dark streaks bled from her eyes. She looked like vengeance incarnate, ready to drag the Golgothan back to hell.

The shit demon slowly recompiled, using its mass to reform appendages and seal gaping holes. This time, it stood bulky but much smaller. Only slightly larger than Leo. If I had to guess, they'd taken off more than half of its health. The creature had deep-set eyes, pinpoints of red sunken in a featureless face.

The eyes started to glow.

Oh shit. This was the moment that wiped out the team last time. The mysterious skill that sliced Leo and Meredeath cleanly in half.

Tandy was distracted, still trying to trigger her weave skill. I willed her to pay attention. To look up and realize what was going on. She looked down at her training cloth, trying to troubleshoot [Tighten the Weave]. Look up!!

Leo must have heard my telepathic urging, because he'd finally cleared his throat and realized what was happening.

"Tandy!" he roared, moving towards the demon. The mud pulled at his feet. Leo wouldn't make it.

The monster opened its mouth, and a thin stream of water shot straight for Tandy. Our adventure was over before it even began.

Suddenly, Meredeath was there. She came out of nowhere, jumping in front of the beam. I watched the shock and acceptance cross her face. The amulet glowed a deep red as the attack hit. Then it flickered and snuffed out.

The liquid stream etched through the midsection of Meredeath's body. She fell to the floor, her dull amulet sinking into the slop. Her bisected body sat for a moment as her health bottomed out. Then she shimmered and disappeared.

[Your [Party Member] Meredith Steele is [Dead].]

I didn’t see if it hit Tandy, but the lack of death notification was telling.

Meredeath was gone.

We'd failed. I replayed Meredeath telling me this was her final attempt, this was it.

And she'd lost. She'd gambled on us. On our misfit trio. And we'd let her down.

The Golgothan didn't give a shit for our tragedy. The creature swung its head around, the cutting stream of liquid arcing across the room, headed straight for Leo. I was safely below the cutting zone, and it still wasn't aware of me.

Leo ducked the initial spray and then ran. Dodging and ducking as the demon tried to target him. The attack must have had a time limit, as the arc of sludge fell slowly. The monster looked deflated even further. Sensing his moment, Leo sprang up and charged. His axe, however, had been left sitting next to my body. A casualty he'd dropped as he tried to stay out of the death zone of the slicing attack.

Leo arrived at the base of the Golgothan staring it down eye to shit covered eye, and was weaponless. Without flinching, he balled his fist and punched the creature in the face. His hand hit with a thunderous smack, sinking into the creature's chin.

Leo's fist was mired in the creature's face.

"What the hell?" Leo tried pulling it out, but anything he tried to use as leverage also got stuck. In moments, his hands and one foot were glued to the creature as it used some unseen skill.

With glee, the Golgothan picked Leo up and ran at the wall. It slammed Leo into the cavern wall. Feces splattered everywhere.

I started to move. My hand reached for the enchanted axe. It peeled itself off Leo, who had been physically glued in place. He'd been effectively trapped. The monster stood over Leo's helpless form, gloating.

Thankfully, its back was still turned to me.

I gripped the axe in both hands. It felt right, like my hammer in the forge. My muscles tensed. I almost felt warm, as if I were working in front of a fire, hitting strike after strike to hammer metal into shape. I raised my axe/hammer. It was my turn.

The Gogothan turned, hearing my squishy footsteps. I raised the axe and swung. In the last second, I twisted the blade instinctively, triggering [Pound]. My muscles bulged as the axe came down.

Imagine the head of the demon as the flat surface of a nail. A nail I was going to strike perfectly. I yelled, "This is for MEREDEATH!” Then, as the axe whistled, coming down like a hammer, I shouted my skill, “[Nailed It]!"

As Meredeath said, it hit like a freight train. Slamming with the might of two skills and the weapon enchantment. The Golgothan ripped in two from forehead to crotch. It rained shit.

My hands shook as I was filled with awe. The axe glowed with power. I did this.

Stepping over the remnants of the boss, I pelted what was left of it with some rapid-fire strikes.

The job finished, I stood over the Golgothan's ruined body. The axe hummed in my hands. It was dead. I avenged Meredeath. We'd won, but it tasted like shit.

[Dunglord defeated. You have earned experience. All experience and rewards are deferred until the exit of the [Trial Dungeon] by all party members.]

"Cole, you killed it. Cole, you okay? Put down my axe, buddy, and help get me off this wall." Leo's voice cut through the fog.

I turned to him, my forearm still flexed. His face flashed a moment of awe. I drank the moment in. I'd never caught him admiring something I'd done. Shaking my head, I stepped towards him, only to find his expression changing quickly to worry.

I looked down, and I was holding an... axe? Wasn't it a hammer? I was covered in Dunglord. Dropping the axe, I focused on Leo. His hair plastered to his face, beard streaked with brown muck.

I grinned, "You look like shit."

"Haha, very funny. Now help me get down." I pulled at his hand and his arm. My boots slid in the sludge as I tried to get leverage.

"Let me help," Tandy's voice cut through my mechanical fog. I surveyed the chamber, and there she was. Alive.

Leo pulled free, one slimy appendage at a time.

"I can't believe we won," Tandy said, scraping shit off her hands.

"But we didn't, Meredeath died." The plain statement sliced through her like the Golgothan's [Cornered Rat] attack. It was harsh, but I couldn’t feel good about our victory. "And I still don't know where Richard is."

We stood there silently for a second. Tandy stood with slumped shoulders in guilt, while Leo wiped at his eyes, smearing more ‘mud’ across his face.

The cavern shook, not giving us any more time to grieve. Whatever was next, none of us wanted to find out in the dungeon's colon. Walls quivering, we walked towards the next chamber.

Leo slipped, his foot coming free of its boot. He kept going. The cavern was starting to fill with a noxious gas. Turning the last corner, the final cavern was small in comparison. A wall had opened to reveal an exit portal. Another rumble rocked the room.

"What's going to happen next?" Leo asked, pulling us up at the last moment.

I shrugged, thinking about our missing companions, "Does it matter?"

Tandy slapped me on the back, drawing my eyes to hers, "Of course it matters."

I looked at my shit coated friends. Leo was no longer a blond, covered head to toe in crap. He stood slouched sideways with one shoe missing, holding his double-bladed axe. Tandy stood next to him, half of her face smeared in goop. Her braids were matted down. Pack clutched resolutely, her brown eyes had a steely glint.

Whatever came next, we would do it together.

As I opened my mouth to give a platitude, the dungeon undulated. Tandy clutched at our arms as we stumbled through the portal together.