Stumbling Up: A Loser's Guide to Progression - Chapter 11: Swallowed by the Dungeon

"Tandy, just send her an invite." The more people we had fighting on our side in the dungeon, the better off we’d be.

But Tandy was being stubborn, "Why should we? I haven't seen one shred of evidence that she'd actually help us."

Meredeath's face darkened, something I didn't think possible.

Malyc saved me from making a complete fool of myself. "As the Adventurer's Guild's representative, I formally request that you add Meredeath to your party. I can vouch that she is deadly in a fight, and has the same motivation you do for surviving the dungeon."

“No better motivator than death,” I said, chuckling weakly.

Tandy opened her mouth to speak, but Malyc silenced her with a glare before continuing, "The young Cole is correct. Additionally, her quest has a rider. Her entire party must survive for her to be successful."

Tandy didn't have a counterargument to that prepared.

She frowned at Meredeath, then asked a question none of us expected, "Meredeath, do you want to go with us?"

Meredeath's stony expression lightened as she thought through Tandy's words, "It's been rare that I've been given a choice since I've come to... this land." She looked at Malyc, who couldn’t meet her eyes. Was he forcing her into the dungeon? Meredeath studied us, her eyes searching for something. I got the impression she hadn’t found it when she shrugged, "Might as well give it a try."

Tandy must have sent the invite, because Meredeath broke out laughing, "[Your Mom's Party]? Really? I guess some things are universal."

I checked my [Party] map and it showed a black dot, which was appropriately ominous for Meredeath.

We walked in silence towards the [Trial Dungeon] entrance. It sat on a windswept cliff facing one of the valleys in the Ursine Wall range. Leo and I had snuck up to the valley when we were kids to catch a glimpse of the portal. We'd imagined a shimmering portal to a different life. We'd both been disappointed to find a white arch only ten feet tall standing in the wilderness. No showy magic. No gateway to adventure.

Wind whipped over the cliff, buffeting us harshly. I put a hand on Richard, pinning him in place. It was as though the very mountains were trying to warn us away from the attempt.

The arch sat just as I remembered. A thin structure, sitting no deeper than a foot, the curve tapered sharply as it reached for the sky. Malyc took out a thin white rod covered in runes. It looked to be made of bone.

The Guild Representative faced us stiffly. He cradled the activation rod, looking at us with eyes devoid of emotion, "You will have three chances to prove your worth. Expend those chances and your life will be forfeit. If you succeed in finishing the [Trial Dungeon], the system will make your [Adventurer] class permanent. Your experience and loot will be calculated and paid upon exit. I will warn you, death is not the only way to fail this dungeon.” I shivered. Death wasn’t the only way to fail. What the hell did that mean? “As in the life of a mundane, how you achieve your goals matters. Enter and seek glory."

His tone was somber, and the message rehearsed. I had questions, but his last statement had finality that brokered no query. Tandy and Leo were frowning at the multiple ways to fail clause, while Meredeath enigmatically ignored everyone.

As Malyc stepped towards the gate, the rod in his hand shook violently. The wind suddenly abated, and the sound of the cliff left. An envelope of silence fell over all those in the shadow of the arch.

I squinted, searching for some hint of a shield. Outside of our bubble, the trees swayed and the lake rippled. We’d just been ripped apart from the rest of the world.

Are you paying attention? The rod and gate are relics from another time. My [Identify] skill doesn't recognize either.

I stopped looking for a shield and refocused on the gate. Malyc slotted the rod into a node like a key. A curtain of liquid silver cascaded to the stone floor. The waterfall of light shimmered with reflected colors. This was magic. This was the adventure I'd yearned for as a child.

"Well, losers, I guess it's time to die. Leo, you could save me a lot of trouble by handing my axe over now." Ched spoiled the moment. Arms crossed, he stood several paces away, looking nervously at the gate.

Tandy looked at him. I caught a faint copper glow on her hands as she asked, "Any last tips for us, Ched?"

He sneered, "Like I could say anything helpful enough to save you."

Tandy shrugged, winking at me as she walked confidently into the portal. Leo gave me a tight smile as he walked forward. His knuckles were white on the handle of his axe as he stepped into oblivion.

Meredeath took a step towards Ched. I could see the interest in his eyes from here. She gave her message in a low whisper, but it echoed in the silence of the portal, "You and I both know that they give escort quests to... winners, right? I'm not sure why Leo has your axe, but I bet it's a fun story."

Angry, he stepped towards her only to trip and fall. Meredeath walked away, stepping through the arch without hesitation.

I watched Ched flop around, "Who the hell tied my shoelaces together?"

Turning my back on him, hiding my smile at Tandy’s joke. Where Leo and Tandy went, I would follow. Gathering what little courage I had, I walked towards the gate. It shimmered back my reflection, distorted and wavering.

Hold your breath.

The portal sucked me in. It pulled at my ears, clothes, and pack. Richard clung to my shirt as it whipped us around. The silver glow of the mirrored entrance gave way to a fleshy, red pulse that squeezed us forward. It felt like we were stuck in a straw, with the mouth of a leviathan sucking us forward. With a wet, sickly pop, we were free.

The cavern was fleshy and wet. I bounced as I hit the floor with a slimy splotch. The air was tepid, humid, and smelled of decay. This had to be a nightmare.

Tandy and Leo were sprawled from their entrance, while Meredeath stood easily. Her body balanced on the squishy floor with ease.

"What the hell is this place?" Tandy asked, as the floor rippled under us.

"We're not in Kansas anymore." Meredeath mumbled under her breath before speaking louder, "Isn't this the dungeon you imagined?"

A glob of goo hung from the ceiling. Above my head, it bobbed up and down, hanging by a long, cloudy thread like an elongated raindrop. I rolled out from under it, sitting up and examining the rest of the room. Large white boulders sat in a horseshoe ring around us, with grotesque twins hanging from above.

"This is so gross." A goo drop had fallen on Tandy's head, and it stuck to her fingers as she tried to wipe it out of her hair. "Why does it smell so bad? It smells like Leo's morning breath and Cole's ambiance after drinking a pint of milk."

Meredeath's knees bent easily to accommodate another ripple across the floor. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "Lactose intolerant?" I had no idea what she was talking about, so I shrugged.

Richard clung to my shoulders, his usually inquisitive tentacles curled inward.

It hit me. The image my mind had conjured as I'd fallen through the portal. The boulders sat in a familiar pattern. I looked to the cavern’s rear for confirmation. An uvula dangled between two giant tonsils. We were in the mouth of a leviathan, about to get the tongue lashing of our lives.

Slugs cause indigestion.

“Do they?” I whispered.