Within My Self Fooled Mind

I held Belle in my arms as I moved home. Her face was stained with tears, but I wiped them away. Leaving her face sleeping softly with a peaceful smile. I blushed faintly while staring at her form. She really was cute! Though not just in the normal way, she was MEGA cute! I’m not sure how I didn’t see it before, but she really was attractive. I let out a light sigh with a smile on my face as I gently held her tight.  

I’d never pursue someone just because of their appearance!

Belle was really cute and I liked her a whole lot though . . . Nah. She was my Sister! That was the relationship we had, and I had no reason to change such a thing. 

I frowned lightly as I looked up at the night sky. Old memories I’d thought I’d forgotten until now churning and turning in my mind.

I’d thought about the girl I’d dated briefly in my freshman year of highschool, however that wasn’t really considered a proper relationship, now was it? I didn’t spend as much time with her as I should have, and when I did I often found us accompanied by many other people I also wanted to spend time with.

I made so many friends, and I spent so much time pursuing a passion she just didn’t see any interest in. I continued to walk as I let out a faint sigh. 

I loved my friends, and while that romantic love is a different feeling entirely, it was barely any more intense. How could I tell someone who saw me as their one and only that I had such strong emotions about so many other people?

Sure, it wasn’t the same type of love, but she couldn’t handle that. Which was honestly completely reasonable of her. It wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t fair at all. 

She loved me, deeply. She truly was a good person, and I couldn’t fault her in any way.

The truth is I couldn’t make her feel special. When we got in a ‘relationship’, practically nothing had changed. Sure, we had sex, which was fun . . . but otherwise? 

I hadn't changed a bit, while she completely changed in how she acted with me. To her I was simply being myself, and not expressing this new love she had felt herself. 

I was just the same. 

I’d consulted the Great Sage for advice and she told me that I was perfect the way I was, and that I didn’t need to change at all to satisfy other people. It made me feel better, but the relationship we had fell apart in only a couple months because of that.

Now it's not like we stopped being friends or anything, and of course I still loved her as a friend, but honestly . . . It kind of scared me how quickly I fell back into seeing her as a friend.

As though the romantic love was almost superficial in the face of this other love I felt. However, what truly saddened me was that her love did not fade at all. We talked about it a lot, and I’m happy to know that I don’t feel guilty anymore . . . but I don’t wish such a fate upon any of my treasured companions.

The Great Sage told me I wasn’t that compatible with Maya anyways, that I should pursue one of the three girls or the boy who sparred with me, Master’s four grandkids. Though they obviously weren’t into me at all! They just wanted to keep fighting me all the time! 

They were my siblings anyways, Master was practically my grandmother! The Great Sage can say some silly things sometimes. They even taught me Chinese! Honestly I thought I would be forever cursed to not know a second language, but relating each language concept to a sword technique does wonders!

We called the Fruit Basket Blade Dance. I can still do it pretty easily actually! Though honestly it's more of a Kata than an actual combat technique. 

Eyes slowly blinked open from their slumber, Belle letting out a soft breath as she blearily stared up at me with a soft smile.

“Thank you, for being a part of my life. Let’s tackle our dream. Together.”

Her smile . . . something about it was different.

Something about it was True, with no pain lurking deep beneath her eyes.

Then the world cracked.

I am Thou, Thou art I . . .

Thou hast turned a Vow into a Blood Oath.

Thy bond shall become the wings of hope and break through the yoke of thy Cities heart.

Thou hast awakened to the ultimate secret of the Fool, granting thee infinite power . . .

Rank 10: Returning with my Dearest Companion -  Awakens a powerful skill within the Fool Arcana. Awakens the Persona: ???

Isabelle Cranel POV

For the first time in my life I felt absent of tension, of hate, and of malice towards the world for its wrongs against me. The peace was shattering, to the point where I relaxed so deeply for the first time I fell asleep instantly. 

Thus I experienced a dream. 

However, this dream was different. A buried memory, dragged up from the dregs of my infantile mind. One I had long forgotten, whether from the despair of my heart, or from the desire to never face this memory with a clear conscience.

My mother clutched me tightly in my arms, her breathing was labored, for she was not only recovering from giving birth, but she was deeply sick. This sickness stole her from me, and she could not last for much longer.

She had slowly gazed her eyes around the room, in her arms I was held tight. Her ears had long corroded from her body. Her tongue black and sickly, her nose a sunken grey. She was dying. Yet she still lived.

For me.

Words entered my ears from the other room. Words my mother could have never caught.

“. . . so she does not wish to see me?”

“Indeed. She has every reason to hate you. This sickness is your fault after all. You can only find redemption in completing her final wish of revenge.”

There was a dreary silence as my mother stared down at me, footsteps of the woman pacing away while agony in her steps. Then the door creaked open. 

Hera entered the room. She had a soft smile laced upon her face as she stared deep into my eyes. My mother muttered a few words, however they were caught on her crumbling tongue. Hera raised an eyebrow at the action, but my mother spoke again. 

“W-where’s Alfia?” My mother could read lips, as Hera knew. So she spoke without words, yet my older mind could perceive them with such ease that it frightened me of how weak I once was.

“She no longer wishes to associate with her crippled sister.”

“A-ah.” Her arms went limp for a moment, but her eyes regained their fire when she looked at me and she did not loosen her grip for the moment. 

“I-I’ll stay strong. For the little one.” Hera frowned lightly at the act, but allowed my mother this moment of peace.

A peace that would not last long. Mother clutched me tight and she smiled at the action. Mother was staring at me, so she could not have known the Goddess’ words. For her lips were out of view, her intent veiled.

“It never hurts to have a spare weapon.”

My mother spoke softly in the air as she stared up to grandmother a moment later.

“I think I’ll call her Isabelle, in honor of the sister who has done so much for-” A knife was softly slid into her neck. A black dagger that was given for my journey to Orario. A knife upon my rapidly waking person. 

Yet the dream did not end just yet. 

Her body crumbled at the sudden strike. Grey flesh turning to ash as her neck caved in on itself. Blackening blood spilled from her body as she tried to shield me, but Hera’s arms simply snapped the pathetically weakened limbs with a twist.

Then she stole me from my mother.

“Don’t worry sweetie, Grandmother will be taking good care of you from now on.” 

Yet my crying did not wane. Instead it grew louder. So she struck me. Then again. Then once more.

“Silence when I am speaking to you, you disgusting rat.”

I shut up quite quickly in terror. The memories being trapped under lock and key, yet desperate to break from my mind in a tidal wave. Yet at each attempt a firm hand and beating was my cold reminder.

I had become docile. My hatred of Hera redirected. Controlled. Warped. Yet most importantly of all, it had been silenced in the face of the cruel woman.

All things were to satisfy her. All things were for her benefits. All things Were. For. Her.

I’d redirected some of my feelings, yet all things came back to her. The family I’d lost. The childhood I’d lost. In the end she was a person, and I was a tool.

Everything changed when I met you. Not immediately, but you changed me. You showed me that I don’t have to be alone. That I don’t have to be terrified of everything yet suppress it down to my rotted heart. You showed me the joys of ‘wasting’ time.

Most of all you showed me something I could have never imagined feeling in my lifetime. Something I’d only seen in its purest form in a storybook I gained by happenstance.

You showed me Love.

Not a Love grown from fear, and not a Love grown from self doubt.

It is a Love so strong that it broke through the illusion cast around my soul. Breaking the shell of my heart, and setting it free. 

Love has eclipsed Hate. 

Why would I seek revenge against Orario? Why would I seek revenge against the Familia’s that wronged my Aunt? Why would I seek revenge against Hera?

They do not matter.

Thank you Andrew Ariti. 

You truly are a Hero.

Your goals are my goals. I know you would do the same at my request, yet you need not request anything of me. For I shall always accompany you in everything you do. 

I truly do wonder if you can teach me the kindness you hold deep within, or if I am never to share in the joys you feel.

However I shall experience a joy of my own born from the fruit of my love. A joy born of seeing you smile. A joy born of seeing you succeed.

This Love is all, for my Hero.

So I awoke. I answered not the Queen, but instead to someone far more important.

“Thank you, for being a part of my life. Let’s tackle our dream. Together.”

Indeed. For his dreams were that of my own.

I knew that his dreams would be forever righteous, and he would always guide me down the path of a Hero I sought to be.

However I knew that deep down even if he fell into becoming the thing this current version of him hated, I could never leave him behind.

He had ownership of this lowly tool, and could do whatever he desired.

My heart ached for a moment, for I knew what I desired.

I desired for him to teach me to be Human.

To teach me to be a Hero.

A tear drop hit my face as he looked down at me in his arms. A wide smile was on his face, so I returned it. Additionally I licked off the tear and softly added it to my mouth while I pressed into his form. It was salty, yet I could not hate it. It came from him after all.

“Belle. You have a really nice smile right now.” 

He saw my true heart laid bare? With just a glance?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m glad you’re part of my life too! . . . and I’m glad you see my dream as your own. That really does make me feel like the future won’t stand a chance against the two of us!” His voice was happy, yet slightly strained.

“Indeed. I doubt it shall resist our pair's onslaught of hope and love.” He didn’t like it when I put myself down. I knew that from when we moved my bed to the church. He did not revel in watching others lower themselves so he felt higher. Instead when one person was elevated, he rose along with them. If one fell, he dropped down to hold their hand and give them comfort.

I was not like him.

Yet I knew that if I accompanied him long enough, eventually this mask would become my face.

The Face of a Hero.

Someone worthy of standing alongside him.

My masks were not my burden, nor my curse. They were the blessing I needed in order to get ever, ever, closer to him.

So that one day that closeness could bloom his love into the Love that I felt for him.

“It’s getting late, we should head back. Can you walk?” His voice was whisper, a caress on my brain that sent a pulse of passion through my blood.

“Of course!” My voice was chipper as I left his arms. While a small part of me wished to remain in such a place, I knew I was needed somewhere else.

I was needed by his side.

AN: I swear this chapter felt like it could have ended on five different cliffhangers. Was quite fun to write this one. The Belle backstory deepens, and she decides that she doesn’t give a fuck because those other things don’t matter anymore!

Also Andrew gets a Fool Persona? Who could it be? Spoilers: It's not the one he dreamed about!

Feel free to drop any questions or comments down below, I love to read them all!

Thanks for reading and see you all next time!