So Many Lonely People

Subaru had practically forced me to drop her down, and she even landed a strike on my face which hurt quite a bit which caused the initial drop. Though I couldn’t really blame her for the blow. After all, I'd picked her up when she explicitly said to not do that.

She did however look apologetic as she shook on the ground. I frowned lightly and my eyes softened as she fell gently onto the floor. She was clearly in a lot of pain, running out of mana really seemed to be no joke.

“You should really listen when someone says no! I knew you were a pervert but this is a new low!” Her voice was tense, and her eyes were darting around the room. I had no idea if she truly meant those words, but her mental state was certainly not doing good.

“Sorry about that, you just looked like you needed the help . . .” My tone was awkward and she responded with a slight huff in her breath.

“Fine, I’ll forgive you just this once. I’m fine. I just need to get back to work.” She started to walk away at that and my fist clenched softly in my palm.

Then I released it after a deep breath.

She’s not the type of person I can force my aid upon. She knows what happens next, and I do not. I can not know what she has experienced.

Perhaps . . . should I tell her I know about Return by Death?

I bury the thought instantly. The Witch of Envy would most likely not take kindly to such an action. She’d probably spawn kill me repeatedly if that happened.

That would not be ideal.

I grit my teeth lightly in displeasure and I turned around by rotating on my heels. I had work to get back to as well anyways. 

Though I couldn’t help but leave some parting words in the air. An extended hand so to speak.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’ll be available.”

She didn’t respond.

She was already gone.

Dammit. Helping Subaru wasn’t easy. Especially when she was actively breaking herself apart on the daily.

. . . 

I sat upon that fading rock, with an expression I’d come to regret lay permanently carved into my cursed face. I stared off into the boiling sands as I watched a caravan pass by in the distance.

I had watched, and watched I did, thus was my punishment, thus was my curse.

For centuries I stay here, my hubris captured forever, yet looked upon by none. If only my foolish younger self could have known, would he have made the same choices?

I can not know, yet my pass time began to brew as I watched the travelers go by. I could not move my vessel, but I could turn my mind. I wondered where they went, who they knew, the story the could tell, and if it would end in disaster as my own.

Did it matter? Perhaps not. All things were destined to fade. 

I deeply wondered if any came across my statued form, would they form a tale from the pebbles I’d left behind? One of might, one of glory, one of honor, one of once warm protection turned cold. Yet most importantly, one of Pride.

I once claimed to be £~^,€*]><, :;() of :;()$, yet I doubted that was how I would be remembered.

Now I was simply a watcher, forced to gaze off into the distance as the sands of time undid the world.

Ah, how intriguing. One of the passerby approaches. 

They will see my folly on full display, perhaps they shall tell another soul and this is how I shall be remembered?

Perhaps that is the best outcome. A mark against my pride it may be, yet my stone tongue can not move in response.

Pride is meaningless is the face of what truly matters.

Let none repeat the mistake I have, if that is to be this one’s Legacy, then perhaps my cracked face may hold the ghost of a smile.

. . . 

I woke up and rolled my neck. I slept decently well and was ready for a new day of butler life. Was I used to it? Absolutely not, but I was getting it figured out over time. I moved out of the fairly comfortable bed with a light sigh and started dressing myself.

I blinked for a moment and lightly clutched my head in confusion, feeling as though I’d forgotten a dream I’d just had. A common occurrence, yet not one I was proud of.

I stared at the window at the slowly rising sun and realized that my circadian rhythm might be a bit too ready to wake up early. The old me could never have prepared for something like this. Guess it's time to get things started then.

I made my way over to the kitchen and was slightly surprised to find Rem, the blue haired maid already preparing breakfast. I suppose it maid sense . . . heh.

“Good morning Rem.” She perked up at my voice, then let out a small sigh of relief upon seeing my face. She was relieved I wasn’t Subaru I suppose. Her expression was blank, and focused.

“I can prepare breakfast. You won’t need to be up for another hour.” She turned back towards cutting something that looked like a potato while my eyes followed her. I wasn’t just going to force her to do all the work. I was awake enough anyways.

“I’m glad to help out, I normally wake up at this hour anyways.”

Her eyes flicked to my hands for a moment and then up to my eyes as though scanning for my intent. She clearly didn’t trust me, but that was alright. She didn’t speak for a moment, but she did at least accept my help with her words a moment later.

“You can set up the table. Make sure to prepare food for 5-6 people.” She quickly corrected herself, causing me to frown lightly. She really hated Subaru. Nonetheless I decided to just give a simple nod and start working.

Setting up the table was easy, I’d set the tables at work and I knew how to do it here easily as well. Eventually breakfast came along, and the rest of our group filtered in. Subaru arrived last, clearly she didn’t sleep too well, though everyone at least arrived at about the same point in time.

“Good morning everyone, food’s ready.” Subaru didn’t respond but at least Emilia did.

“Good Morning to you as well!” Greetings were exchanged by everyone but Subaru was still oddly silent. Her brain seemed as though it was turned off and she needed to eat before she could actually wake up.

So eat she did, and damn did she eat fast.

“Soooo, how are things going for our two newest workers?” The Lord of the manor spoke, his voice was flamboyant and while his voice didn’t creep me out, his clown getup did. I never did like clowns. I wasn’t going to just blow him off though, he was my boss!

“Things are going well on my end, I’m adapting well to the new environment.” My voice was casual but my eyes slid over to Subaru with concern. I had half a mind to kick her in the shin but I decided to let sleeping Subaru’s lie. 

“Thaaaat’s quite good then, I look forward to your development as a part of this manor.” He didn’t acknowledge the exhausted Subaru at that moment, nor did he for the rest of the meal.

I guess he was like me in that regard then. Soon enough Subaru excused herself to the restroom, and I couldn’t help but frown. I’d finished my meal and started washing the dishes alongside Rem. She gave me a casual greeting but remained silent otherwise.

My new fighter insects courtesy of Adelheid told me she was ready to strike me on a moment's notice. I had no idea if I could win that fight, but I wasn’t even sure if it mattered. While we worked Ram went away to do other chores, and I saw Rem’s eyes gaze at her sister’s back as she left.

These sisters really did care about each other.

“I can take it from here if you’d like to work with Ram. It’s just a few more dishes anyways.” My tone wasn’t forceful, instead it was soft. I didn’t want to scare her with the sudden words.

“That won’t be necessary, instead you should just leave this to me.” Her tone was curt, but I could tell a cue like that pretty easily.

Fuck. Everyone in this manor had some sort of traumatic backstory I’m sure. Except maybe Puck. He was pretty chill . . . heh. Alright, I need to cool it with the bad puns before I drive myself crazy.

With a light smile I started to make my way outside. My last words to Rem being ones of thanks as I left.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure Subaru stays out of trouble.” 

For a moment I felt her gaze linger on my back before she turned away.

Rem POV

He knows. He has to know. There’s no other reason he would say that otherwise.

He has barely any loyalty to Roswall, and I’m certain Roswall didn’t tell him to ‘stay his hand’ as Sister told me. So why? Why let a filthy cultist live?

He needed to be watched as well. 

Sister wasn’t safe with so many differing factors. 

Natsuki Subaru POV

Today was going to be a great day! Yep, it was going to be amazing! Of that I was certain! Sure Puck had bullied me a little bit this morning, but my heart was dead set on Emilia! Nothing could change that!

“Hi Rem! It’s an amazing day! How can I be of service?” 

The blue haired girl flinched slightly at my sudden presence, a feeling of anxiety welled in my gut before I crushed it. I couldn’t feel that way. Not now.

“Where’s- Nevermind. You can help me water the vases.” 

Hiding secrets from me? How maddening Rem? I let out a small giggle as I followed behind her. I rotated my body as I grabbed a vase, and my violently shaking hand accidently pushed the vase off the edge! Unfortunately my fellow butler wasn’t here to catch it like that plate earlier!

“Don’t worry! Don’t worry! Forget about it! It’s fine!” 

I darted around the corner to grab a broom and started sweeping up the mess with a smile on my face while Rem stared at me in sheer awe of my amazement!

“I’ll clean this up so fast, no one will get hurt at all!” I did! I did! I cleaned it up so quickly not even one person came by! Nobody came to help me, nope! There was no need!

“I think that is an admirable attitude, but you were the one who knocked it over.” She let out a faint sigh and continued as she turned around. “I’ll grab a replacement-”

NOPE! I could do everything! All by myself!

“I’ll take care of the vase and flowers! You just do your own work, Senpai!” 

She silently stared at me before turning around and walking away. Yep! She could just leave everything to me! She didn’t need to help me! 

I started moving towards the room with the vases in it and I quickly returned down the hall with everything I’d needed. My hands shook, but that didn’t matter. They needed me! They needed my help! 

“ . . . when did you learn where the vases were kept? Did my sister-”

Rem was getting suspicious! That was bad!

“Yeah, that’s right! Your sister told me! Since she knows me, she said, ‘You’re bound to break a vase eventually. I’ll tell you where the extra vases are, so you’ll be prepared.”

Why isn’t she laughing? Am I not funny enough? I clutched my face and let out a jovial laugh for a moment while she silently stared at me. Her left eye half lidded.

“Whoops! Would you look at the time, I forgot about some work I need to be doing with Ram-chi! I’ll come find you soon, no worries! None at all!”

I bolted down the hall with a faint laugh as my gut churned. 

I feel sick.

I can’t do- No, I HAVE TOO!

Then I ran head first into someone causing me to nearly fall to the ground as my wrist was grasped tightly and I was pulled away from the encroaching floor.

“Thanks for the save- Ah! It’s James-san! I was just on my way to go help Ram so if you could let me right on by that would be great!”

But he didn’t let go. Instead he just stared at me with a soft expression. For a moment my hand stopped shaking, but then it regained its terror a moment later. As though remembering the situation I was in.

“I already helped Ram with her tasks, why don’t we take a break?”

A break? No, I just couldn’t do it! Nope!

I had to get closer to Rem and Ram! Otherwise I’d die! Yep! I’d die again! Again, and again! My eyes darted around looking for an escape as his eyes narrowed.

Oh no! Was he going to kill me now? Was everyone against me? This wasn’t great! NOPE! I was going to die again! I was going to die!

Then I threw up right on his chest.

“Oh no! I’m sorry, I’ll clean this up right away-”

He didn’t let me finish. He folded up the blazer in order to secure the waste and softly set it aside on a chair.

Then he hugged me. I attempted to pull away but he just wouldn’t allow me to do so. 

“Subaru.”

I struggled, but he would not let me pull away. Why won’t he let me go?

“Subaru.”

For a moment I prepared to use Shamak. I wouldn’t go down without a fight. If the last person I felt I could rely on was going to betray me here, then I at least wouldn’t make it easy.

AN: This would be where I my Envy IF, if I had one!

“Subaru. It’s been hard, hasn’t it?”

W-what? Did he know . . . no. That was impossible. I gulped lightly as I turned up to him.

“H-hah, what do you mean by that?” 

His eyes were soft, almost like my fathers as he looked down.

“You’re far from home, you’re overwhelmed, and you’ve been through so much in such a short period of time. Please don’t bottle it up only in your heart.”

I couldn’t tell him of my ability. I knew that. I had already seen what would happen if I told someone of the burden I bore.

“Subaru. I’m not going to let you leave until you get off whatever it is that’s weighing you down. I’m your friend aren’t I?”

Ah. He really did see me as a friend despite barely knowing him for a day.

My first actual friend in this world.

For a moment, I didn’t feel so alone. So I decided to speak.

AN: Subaru loses it this chapter. The crash out was inevitable. James swoops in to save the day before she can inevitably go crazy. The Envy IF would be her crashing out and only ever trusting James while also being super jealous of the people around him. She’d use Shamak and Subaru would get killed by Puck in a panic while she tried to shiv James through the throat while he didn’t resist.

Would drive her completely crazy and come to the ‘conclusion’ that the only person she could trust was him, so she’d have to kill everyone else!

If you can figure out his Persona before it's revealed, you get a cookie! I chose something a little bit more obscure then last time . . . but no so obscure it's impossible.

Anyways, I love your questions/comments so feel free to drop them down below!

Thanks for reading and see you later!