My Neighbor - Part 6 DRAFT
Added 2024-04-16 05:55:24 +0000 UTCYo folks. As mentioned before, I would likely n
Comments
I dunno, when I was chatting with Louise, she came across pretty much spot on the way she's being depicted/
neegan
2024-04-18 04:26:09 +0000 UTCWould love more freshly fucked scenes with hubby, how she feels waiting for him and how she feels when she finally (hopefully) gets the cleanup. Another angle on her emotions would be accepting some acts not being filmed. Excited about how you plan to involve Emily going forward, she's more or less seen them together so many times now that she's bound to put two and two together
Jon Boge
2024-04-17 15:10:49 +0000 UTCI disagree with doctor above. This is fiction, cartoons or not, it's hot. And many of us on here like it this way (see all the noise regarding TNT re direction). Not all stories are gonna cater to all of us.
Jon Boge
2024-04-17 15:09:07 +0000 UTCLouise doesn't come across believable like your others. The sex scenes are hot but I care about plot and arc too. I don't care if it's crazy sex or scenarios, I have to believe the story works in the universe provided. This is screeching towards a tragedy and from what I have seen, I don't believe you will deliver that, even if the arc requires it. I'm just being honest. No one on this story is particularly intelligent despite being described as such. I'm sorry if this offended. There is a fine line between engaging with kink and turning characters into cartoons. Louise cannot be all things she is described. Not in my opinion anyway
TimothyS
2024-04-17 01:35:29 +0000 UTCAbsolutely brilliant. Loving the slow buildup again. If not for your comments here and there on what to fill it could easily have passed off as full version and not a draft. Perhaps the scene where she already has a creampie can be extended from her pov? That's a betrayal worthy of emotional detailing. Great story, thanks for the draft
Jon Boge
2024-04-16 22:17:49 +0000 UTCGreat story
Tim Aschenbrenner
2024-04-16 19:14:07 +0000 UTCYou are quite simply brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Tony
2024-04-16 06:26:56 +0000 UTC
