The Strange House - Part 2

My escape from the party took me through the dark looming forest, stumbling in the shadows of moss, fallen trees, and stuff like that. I was not one to be scared of the dark or anything, but wandering drunk through the forest in the middle of the night wasn’t the most pleasant experience. I knew there were animals living out here, and that when I was startled by a twig snapping that was what it likely was.

Yet, here I was, scared shitless, hiding behind a tree, panting from having bolted through the forest utterly directionless. Drunk and alone in the pressing quietness of the dark forest, except cracking steps of my feet shuffling through the snow.

“LOGAN!” I heard someone scream. I snapped around, stumbled and fell over, drunk as I still was.

It was Jeremy’s voice. And soon behind was also Zach. No Robert to save the day now. Was the final reckoning upon me? Though behind them was both Amanda and Anna. What were they doing here?

“Hey, buddy,” Jeremy said, extending his hand for me. “Get up from that cold shit. You gonna freeze to death.”

“You’re not gonna kill me?” I asked.

“Not today, shitbird,” Jeremy said. “I guess I overreacted. I promised a month, didn’t I? You just stood up too fast and drank too much, pussy.”

“Yeah, and Jeremy was a real gentleman and helped me find a new shirt, so it’s honestly okay,” Anna explained.

I hated the sound of that. He helped her. Not me. Because of me, to make it worse. But did that mean… Did that mean Jeremy saw Anna in her bra? A pit filled my stomach at the possibility of my crush having accidentally exposed herself to my bully. Because of me, to make it worse.

“Look!” Amanda whispered. She pointed beyond a couple of old walnut trees, past a large, wrought iron fence.

There it stood. Hidden behind shrubs and overgrown trees and bushes. The old house.

It looked so much bigger up close, though I knew it was more or less the same type of factory-made house built in the 1970s that I lived in myself, perhaps of an even older standard. Yet the rotten planks and the dark windows seemed a more dominating presence as we stood so close. Come to think of it, I had actually never been this close, in fact, as it was now just beyond the fence and then a few steps.

My eyes wandered across its features until I found myself staring into a window. Heavy curtains hung on each side, gray with dust obvious even from out here. The moonlight reflecting in the shards of glass as teenagers had practiced their throwing arms against those windows for years. I was one of them, being the clueless little idiot I was.

“It’s so ugly, why won’t they take it down?” Anna snorted.

“Agreed,” Amanda said, fear and awe in her voice as the five of us looked at the house.

Then we all gasped. There, in the kitchen window, one of the dusty old curtains was pulled aside. Slowly, and meticulously. The four others immediately bolted toward the woods, and me to round the house. Still drunk I slammed to the ground, scraping my knees, but quickly got back up and sprinted away.

Ice shot through my lungs as I heaved and my heart throbbed, leaning on a fence post outside my own house. It was only a few houses over, in our little cul-de-sac neighborhood, but the street light and the closeness and safety to my own home was reassuring regardless. The fact that I had to run to a nearby chain link fence to slip through probably created some imagined distance too, which probably helped. I clutched my chest as if I was gonna pass out. What was that? I swore those curtains moved. And… thinking back… did I see fingers wrap around those old dusty things?

No. No way. It was the wind, and then excessive drinking and the right mindset made me susceptible to bullshit. Yes. I shook my head.

“Logan?” I heard. This time it wasn’t some high school bully, but Dad, who had appeared in the front door. He had stayed awake to make sure I got home safe, I figured.

“Yeah,” I responded, turning to walk up the driveway. I shot a glance toward the strange house, but it just sat there. Quiet and alone. Doing nothing suspicious at all.

“What happened to you?” Dad asked worriedly, inspecting me.

I guess I had some bruising from Jeremy slapping me, then some scrapes from falling over again and again. Dad knew of my bullying issues, but I didn’t want him to worry, so I scrambled for an excuse. And I had a good one. Things were getting good with Jeremy and Zach, so I didn’t want to complicate things.

“The old house. I got spooked walking home and, erh, tripped,” I said. It was the truth but just parts of it.

Dad looked at me suspiciously, but decided to let it go. He instead guided me inside, and to the kitchen.

“So how did the party go?” Dad asked. Yeah, I didn’t lie to Dad ever, except when I just now withheld some information about my bruises, so I told him where I was going earlier.

“Y’know. Cold. A lot of underage drinking,” I said, confident my own intoxication had fazed itself out.

I had become quite clear headed after throwing up, and a stroll and a sprint through the forest had sobered me right on up.

“Yeah. Kids do that,” Dad said, putting a cup in front of me, filled with steaming coco. “I’m just glad you’re responsible. And I know you may or may not partake, it’s inevitable, but at least I know my boy is gonna be sensible about it. Right?”

“I know. I try to not get too mixed up,” I said. It was the truth. Kinda. Next time I’d make sure to move around a bit more. No big deal.

*

Winter break came and went. Christmas was always my favorite time, as I got to spend it with my family. Gran and granny had died a few years ago, while it had been devastating for me, it had led to my Dad and his siblings getting together more often. It was as if to fill the gap of those two. Gifts, food, and hanging out together. What a season.

But then it ended. Back to the assembly line. What do we assemble? Tired teenagers who could do with a few more extra days, and who had college scholarships to prepare for. I didn’t have the greatest ambition in that respect. I knew I’d get into the local college with decent enough grades, so I was among the few who chilled out. Relatively, of course.

Something that had changed from the before the break, was Zach and Jeremy. While they had almost been friendly around that very last day, they were back to their regular old selves after the break.

“Hey there, gay boy,” Zach laughed, as I came walking towards them. “What you want? You can’t suck me off right now, it’s just before class!”

I don’t know what I expected. Maybe I thought they would be different now that we hung out together. What happened to a month with them easing off a bit? Indeed, I asked them as much.

“I thought you guys would leave me alone for a month,” I said. “There’s still two weeks.”

Yet I had been the one who approached them, as if they were friends, or I was part of their crew now.

“Sorry. Old habit,” Zach smirked.

“Listen, burglar Sackins,” Jeremy said, surprising me with even making a play on words with Bilbo Baggins’ name. “Back to school party this weekend. Think you can hook us up?”

“What do you need?” I asked before catching myself. I couldn’t make this a habit, but I also didn’t want to be excluded just when I had a foot in the door.

“Everclear and forties. Same procedure,” Zach responded eagerly.

But by now I had gotten a good dose of reason into my old noggin. This couldn’t happen again. One time was bad enough. Twice? Would they ask me to rob that store more and more?

“Guys, actually–” I began, but Jeremy grabbed me by the collar and shoved me hard against the lockers, hurting me.

“Listen here you little shit, you’re doing it, or your ass is dead,” Jeremy said, filling my face with his snarling, angry face. “What, you thought you were one of us just because we tricked you into being fucking stupid? You better do as you’re told!”

“Heh, we filmed it, buddy. So you better get us what we need, or it’s jail for you, butt boy. Though, I suspect you’d like that,” Zach chimed.

“BOYS!” we heard from the other end of the hallway. A teacher had seen what was going on.

“Sorry, I, erh, fell on him,” Jeremy said, shoving me against the lockers again before letting me go. “After school. Got it?” he muttered. I nodded.

“Hey Anna! We got it fixed!” Jeremy exclaimed, walking away with Zach, leaving me to rub my aching shoulder. I think my shirt ripped too.

“You alright?” the teacher asked, coming over.

“Yeah. Just fell a bit hard,” I muttered. The teacher eyed me for a moment and headed off.

Like I said, Jeremy’s dad was a prominent figure in the community, and more or less untouchable anyway. If only I was big and strong like someone like Robert, or my Dad. I figured then no one would mess with me. Dad had tried talking with the principal several times as well as the two thugs' parents, but to no avail. They had insisted there was no bullying in his school and that ‘boys will be boys,’ and simply brushing it off. Mom had also tried, but she met the same resistance.

And as promised, after school Jeremy, Zach, Amanda, and to my huge dismay, Anna were waiting for me. I had to wonder how much the blondes knew of me being blackmailed. Amanda wouldn’t care, but I had to believe Anna was better than this? I hoped I could try to explain it to her later at the party or something. I knew she was a decent person.

“Dildo Sackins,” Zach chuckled as I jumped in the back. A small snicker followed from the others, to my embarrassment, Anna too. “That’s your new name from now on!”

“What’s with the gay stuff, Zach?” Jeremy chuckled. Even from the trunk I could see the redness in Zach’s face as he was confronted.

“He’s just gay. That’s all,” Zach answered angrily.

“Whatever dude,” Jeremy chuckled, leaning back. “Can’t wait until that party. Don’t you agree, Anna?”

Jeremy turned and grinned, but rather than directing it toward Anna, he was looking at me. They knew I had a crush on her, thus here he was, tormenting me about her, and in front of her no less. It was humiliating as it brought me shame for not being able to do anything about it, being too scared to retaliate.

“Oh yeah. Last time was so fun. Despite getting thrown up on. Don’t you agree, Logan?” Anna said, smiling back at me. “Cute boys can’t handle their liquor, is all.”

I blushed as she called me cute, and also for the underlying teasing. She probably didn’t mean it that way, it was the truth after all, but I couldn’t help but hear the snideness of her comment.

“S-something like that,” I muttered.

“We should invite your mom, Logan,” Jeremy continued. “I bet she’d love to get out of the house. Maybe feel like what it’s like to be young again. She’s one hot piece of ass I’d fuck for days.”

“Yeah, would give my left nut to fuck the shit out of your mom,” Zach agreed. Amanda shoved a foot into his back, making him groan, but said nothing.

“I should come over one day,” Jeremy laughed. “Donkey dick her on the kitchen table! Right up the ass too!”

I was now beet red and utterly humiliated. Mom was regarded as very beautiful, but I knew she’d be livid if she heard any of this. And Dad? He was a fucking cop. He’d never stand for this… but Jeremy was untouchable. We knew he had several unreported DUI’s swept under the rug already. Hence why Zach was mostly the designated driver. Not that he was some lamb either. But despite that, I knew Dad would murder Jeremy if he knew how he talked about Mom.

I felt like such an idiot for believing they’d take me in. What a moron I had been… they had been my bullies since I was little, and that should suddenly change? I was now forced to just sit here in the back and feel sick to my stomach.

“Anyway, here we are,” Jeremy said. “Get in there and get our shit. Then I guess you can suck off Zach or whatever.”

“Hey, what the fuck?” Zach said.

“I’m just busting your balls, idiot,” Jeremy laughed. Zach shook his head.

“Is sex all you ever talk about?” Anna asked, shaking her head dismissively.

But Jeremy never responded. He leaned past the girls and grabbed my collar like he did when I behaved in a specific way he didn’t like. “Why the fuck are you still here? Get in there, Sackins!”

The door popped open and I jumped out. The store looked way more menacing now than before. Before it was scary, now it was terrifying. I had been talked into shoplifting last time, now it was sheer blackmail. With shaky legs I went into the store. Immediately something was different. The older clerk eyed me suspiciously. Smarter heads would’ve bailed, but I wasn’t some career criminal.

I did my old routine. I checked some chips, checked some chocolate, went to the sodas, then B-lined to the specific bottles I needed, and hurried towards the door. Only this time, the older clerk was blocking my way. I stopped dead in my tracks as the old man loomed over me, arms folded across his chest as he looked at me with great disapproval.

“Open your jacket,” he commanded. There was no room for arguments.

I couldn’t even meet his gaze, instead I looked at his knees. And as I stared at those knees, I slowly, as to not break anything, started to unzip, revealing several bottles. Guilty as charged.

“Above my head, to my left,” the old man said, not taking his eyes off me. I looked where he said, and there it was. A CCTV camera. “You some kinda schmuck yahoo?!”

“N-n-no, I-I,” I stammered. “I c-can pu-put it b-back again!”

“The fuck you will, you little shit,” the old man yelled, getting his cellphone out of his pocket and obviously dialling 9-1-1.

I knew my Dad was on patrol too. This was the end of my life as I knew it. Whatever punishment was less than I deserved. Mom and Dad had raised me better than this, given me such a precious life outside of school, and this was the thanks they got? A juvenile delinquent?

When Dad picked me up, he didn’t say a word. His expression was impossible to read. I sat glancing over at him as he was driving, and he stared ahead. When he picked me up, he didn’t say a word then either, he didn’t even look or scream at me. I wanted him to. Yell I was throwing my life away, I was being stupid, anything. But no. I was getting the silent treatment.

Until I couldn't bear it anymore.

“Dad–” I began.

“This what you think you have to do?” Dad asked. “Robbing old Simmons?”

“I–”

“Listen, I know it ain’t easy for you at school, and perhaps there isn’t much we can do about that, but this?” Dad said. I could tell he was angry, but wanted to remain calm. “You have to wait six months and never see them again. Instead, you’re gonna shoplifting for, what, fucking Everclear? You can jump start a car with that shit.”

My empty eyes stared at the dashboard. I had nothing to say. Dad was right. This didn’t earn me any stripes, not with anyone. That much was clear. I was throwing my life away before I had even had a chance to live. And for what? Get in with my bullies? Impress Anna? I knew she was better than them, that she likely didn’t know my relationship with Jeremy and Zach, but this wasn’t the way to show her I was good material.

“You can forget about going to any more parties with those shitbirds, if this is what that leads to,” Dad said with finality. “You’re staying home for a month.”

As if I wouldn’t have anyway. But I nodded and agreed. I wanted forgiveness for breaking his trust. I’d do anything. My soul felt like it had been ripped to pieces due to my own idiocy.

“And those scratches and bruises before winter break?” Dad asked. No more withholding.

“Jeremy slapped me when I threw up. But my knees were from falling, I swear.”

“I believe you,” Dad sighed heavily. “You got to stand up for yourself, Logan, you got to. I know I’m a cop, but I can’t bail you out every time, nor should I have to. What if Simmons had a gun? What if I wasn’t a cop? Your life would be over already.”

“I know,” I muttered.

“Your mother’s gonna be furious,” Dad said, as he pulled up in our driveway.

“You’re telling Mom?” I was horrified.

“Oh, you’re not off the hook yet,” Dad explained, opening the door. “I’m still on the clock, so you’re on your own. Consequences, is the keyword here.”

And Dad was right. Mom was furious. Livid. So angry that tears streamed down her face. She was so disappointed in me. How they had raised me to be a nice young man, not a thieving little shoplifter. She yelled about how I had brought shame to the family, embarrassed her, and embarrassed Dad.

“What do you think his colleagues will say?! HUH?!” Mom had yelled.

I never even thought of that. Not only did I embarrass myself, but I had humiliated my parents too. They had failed as parents, in their view, and in turn, probably other’s view as well, once the gossip had made its rounds. And Dad was always a tough guy and well respected on the force, but still I couldn’t help but think how this would tarnish his image.

Mom’s fury felt like it would never end, but it eventually did. Later, I sat in my room and absentmindedly shuffled through tabs of Middle-Earth maps, wanting so desperately to take back my misconduct. But I couldn’t. It felt like I would have to live with this shame for forever. I had altered myself in a way I couldn’t stand.

*

So after school I was home the following days. I started doing chores around the house, unprompted even. If nothing else, than to show I was still the good kid they raised me. The shoplifting was just a stint. So I was shoveling the driveway, doing the dishes, washing my own clothes(I didn’t dare touch Mom’s fine wardrobe), took out the garbage, and even hosed the garbage can as it was soaked with something yucky by the looks of it.

It even earned me a kiss on the forehead from Mom, something she hadn’t done in years. Not since I was too old and too cool for that. But feeling her warmth and love was more than I could handle, so I shoved my face into her and I begged for forgiveness. Taken aback, she sat me down at the dinner table.

“I know you’re sorry,” she said way softer than she’d spoken to me in years. I looked at her blue eyes and her classy brown hair. How did she look so pristine? I guess she had to for her work.

“I fucked up bad,” I said.

“And I see you dealing with it. But this is how you learn. Be a good boy, and work hard, and you’ll find yourself friends much more worth your time than those folks,” Mom explained. “In college I’m sure you’ll find more like minded people. You’re just a different kind of man, and you just gotta find your own path in this world. No one can do it for you.”

“I know. I’ll try,” I said.

“And… I’ll try to not be so judgmental. I know I don’t always get all the nerd stuff, but know that I love you and want you to have the best life possible. And honestly, if you wanna read about Game of the Rings or whatever, that’s much better than running amok,” Mom said, smiling.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll… go and fetch the mail or something. I need fresh air,” I said.

“Mind taking this down to Mrs Browning?” Mom asked, lifting some heavy-looking plastic bag. “It’s just some tupperware. She gets pissed when it doesn’t get back to her soon enough. Which is often immediately. Last year she wouldn’t stop telling everyone how I hogged all the tupperware. Anyway, it’s getting dark and the old lady is just gonna slip on the ice.”

“Sure,” I said, taking over the bags.

Mrs. Browning was this old lady down the street who was meticulously organized who wrote everything down, but other than that she was a very sweet old lady. It was a short walk, but long enough to make it brisk in the current temperatures. I dinged the door, and as I stood there waiting(Mrs. Browning is old so it could take a while), I looked at anything and nothing. Until my eyes landed on the old house across the street. Worn and ready to be torn. I couldn’t help but get this nagging feeling that the house itself was looking back at me, here I stood staring at it.

“There you are,” the old lady croaked behind me, making my heart skip a beat. “Oh, did I startle you, darling?”

“Just a bit. That house, y’know,” I chuckled, throwing a glance over my shoulder towards it. “I keep thinking I see someone move in there, the way the curtains blow.”

“Oh nonsense, dear. It’s just the wind and too many cracked windows. And in the walls, if I’m being honest. Or it could be some squatter," Mrs. Browning said in her creaking old lady voice.

“Can you remember anyone ever living there?” I asked. Mrs. Browning was the oldest member of the community so if anyone knew, it was her.

“Oh that… Erh. Not really. I, erh, I know those who built it died shortly after, but I can’t remember from what,” Mrs Browning said, seemingly fading into her own thoughts to recollect something else forgotten. “Something… something ugh, in the 60s? Sorry, darling, my memory isn’t what it used to be, and it's so long ago. I’m not sure who owns it now. Mostly squatters nowadays.”

“It’s a shame,” I muttered. “Well, take care.”

But instead of heading back home, my attention returned to the old house. Not even old Mrs. Browning knew. Haunted. Something happened in the 60s, if the old lady could be believed between her ramblings.

As I moved across the street to look at it closer, the whole house seemed to grow. It towered above me, and the intensity of its decaying materials increased. And as it grew, all sounds seemed to trickle away, creating a thick, hovering silence as if the world was nothing but that house and me. Jesus Christ what a scary house.

I pulled my eyes away and was about to turn to walk, but then the door swung open, the darkness within greeting me as I gawked at it. Out came a towering figure. My breath caught in my throat as the figure stumbled out and into the streetlight. Shaggy and with a beer belly, an old worn cap. But oddly enough, he had a kind face, and his eyes were strikingly green. Or hazel? It was hard to tell. But certainly not some ominous figure that fitted the house he just exited.

Wait a minute. That’s just some old homeless guy. I think I knew him even. I had seen him around.

“Hey there, didn’t mean ta scare ya,” the man said in a rough voice, seeing me look at him. “Erh, I just…” he trailed off, opening the small iron gate and stepping out on the sidewalk.

“No no, I apparently scare easily,” I chuckled.

It all made sense now. This hobo was the reason we thought it was haunted, and it was probably him we saw after that party! What a fool I was. I guess lately I have gotten that proven over and over again.

“Yeah. I guess the darker days do that,” the man mumbled, not looking at me. He was awfully pale, now that I saw him closer. “Well. Erh. Stay away from that house, eh?”

“What's in there?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Rubble. Just rubble. What’s your name, kid?” he asked.

“Logan,” I replied.

“And I’m Pete, Logan. Nice to meet you. And if you want it to keep being nice to meet new people, I suggest staying well away from old ruins like this. You never know what you might find,” the man named Pete said.

His eyes then refocused to the street behind me as a car pulled up. It was Dad, and the two waved at each other as if they knew each other. Dad stepped out, but didn’t look angry or anything. If anything, a bit apologetic.

“Pete, I told you a thousand times. You can’t be staying in there. It’s dangerous, and besides trespassing,” Dad said with a great deal of sympathy. I knew it tore at him to throw a homeless man on the streets, but it was indeed not a good place to stay by the looks of it.

“Yeah yeah, I hear ya. Someone gotta feed the cat,” Pete chuckled.

But as they talked, I looked at one of the windows facing the street. And once again, I swear I saw the curtains move. I stared intensely at the window, but I guess it was once again my imagination getting the better of me.

*

Even after the curfew and house arrest was over didn’t I go anywhere. I didn’t want to. Home was where it was at, in my opinion. It was warm, cozy, and I had my good ole PC, my books, and my interests. What more can one need? Certainly not any social awkwardness, humiliation, and the seriousness of the world. Home was safe.

I even, to atone further for my sins, made an effort to get my grades up. They were never abysmal, but neither all that impressive. C was my average, but if I could get it up just a smidge, then at least I knew I had the ability to improve if nothing else.

Something that kept consistent, however, was Zach and Jeremy. A month after I had been caught shoplifting, the two of them cornered me and more or less told me what would happen if I snitched. I knew better than to mention names to my Dad, but I swore regardless, and only got a few bruises where none would see them. Later that day, I learned why Jeremy was extra careful about my silence. He had gotten his acceptance letter to some sports college.

“Congrats,” I mumbled, as they hung around my locker, talking to each other as if I wasn’t there.

“Hey, Logan! How’s it going?” Anna said, suddenly appearing. Jeremy who stood behind her, made an extra number of leaning back to stare at her ass before nodding his approval. “I heard you got busted.” Heard? She was there…

“Yeah, I’ve b-been in hibernation,” I tried to joke. When none of them laughed, I added mutteringly, “I was g-grounded.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, before addressing Anna, ignoring the fact I got punished for something they made me do. “Party this weekend. You up? Maybe we can explore the woods some more, eh?”

Another party? You’d think they were alcoholics. And what was so fascinating about the woods anyway? It was cold as shit and miserable. And why would they even explore anything away from the bonfire?

“I don’t know… Last time the clerk busted us,” Anna said.

Busted us? Last time I checked, I was the one who got fucked.

“Yeah, but ole Loggie here will just have to run faster,” Jeremy said.

“I’m not doing anything,” I shot in, but they ignored me.

“We can’t possibly ask him again?” Anna said. She turned to me, her big pearly eyes looking into me as if she looked into my melting heart, slightly pouting her lip. Oh what an irresistible beauty. “You’d really do that?” she asked.

“I-I’m s-sorry, b-but,” I started, but Anna moved in closer, letting me feel her scent. One of her hands rested with her palm against my chest.

“Please? For me?” she asked.

“Erh… Eh… I think–”

Anna leaned closer, and I soon felt her whispering voice right next to my ear, tickling my brain like one of those ASMR videos. “I’ll make it worth your while,” she whispered. “At the party, I mean.”

“Okay,” I blurted out, “I, erh, I need t-to go t-to the b-bathroom,” I urged, as my erection was on its way with great ferocity. I couldn’t walk around with a bulge in front of the whole school, so I started my way down towards the bathroom to hide until it subsided.

“Gay boy popped a boner!” Zach exclaimed a bit too loud and laughed. I had forgotten who I was hanging around for a split second. Only Anna could make me forget that I was in the presence of assholes. I got beet red as I hurried away, the choir of the two of them laughing at me in my back.

So the guys at least found me a new store. I did my trick, and as I got out of there I swore it was the last time. Jeremy and Zach looked happy to see me, or what I had under my jacket, Amanda was indifferent, and Anna at least had the decency to look like making me do this pained her. Apologetic, I guess is the word.

But as we were approaching the spot along the road where we would enter into the woods, Jeremy stopped me, as the others went on, and we lingered back a bit.

“Time for you to fuck off,” Jeremy said in a low dangerous voice.

“What?! But I– I got the stuff!” I complained.

“Yeah, great job, Dildo Sackins, but fuck off before I rip your head off,” Jeremy promised.

“But Anna–”

“Anna what? What exactly did you think would happen? The hottest girl in school would suck your dick or fuck you just because you’re easy to push around? Get the fuck out of here,” Jeremy said, shoving hard at my chest. “That was just some shit she said, you idiot.”

That hurt. Of course, Anna had nothing to do with this, despite what Jeremy said, but it still felt like a major betrayal. It stung and filled my stomach with so much grief I could hardly breathe. I shoved my hands into my warm pockets and I slinked back home. How could it get any worse? I had once again forsaken my own morales, gone against everything my parents had taught me, and for what? Nothing. A promise snubbed away from under my nose.

Mom asked what was wrong, but I just muttered something incoherent and went to my room and gamed until my brain became numb and I fell asleep.

The following Monday, Anna even found me at my locker, without the others around.

“Where were you?” she asked in a somewhat challenging way. I guess she felt I had stood her up.

“I, erh, didn’t feel l-like p-partying,” I muttered, not wanting to sound like I was some push around. Though, everyone knew it, but I couldn’t very well admit it, right?

“Oh, but I wanted to reward you so much,” Anna said in her most sensual way, giving me a crooked, teasing smile. Or was it teasing? Was she really suggesting something to happen? God damn it, Jeremy…

“Eh, well, I guess n-next time?” I said, knowing what I had to do to get a ‘next time’. Shoplifting was already becoming a habit. Every time I did it, it felt like a piece of me was being hacked away.

“A girl can hope,” she purred, leaning closer. “This weekend?”

“S-sure,” I said, eager to please the Queen of Courtington High.

*

“George, what do you think?” Mom asked Dad.

The following Friday, I had broached the subject of me going to a party again. It had been quite a while since I had been busted, and even longer since I was at a party. I hoped my change of character of late would give me enough so I could go. If not, then so be it. Obeying my parents had become a center of my life. And it was not only to please them, though that was a major factor, it was also a way I felt I could save my soul.

But all that was being forsaken, as I knew I had to steal again to go to that party with Anna. Darwinism says that life and evolution is survival of the fittest. Perhaps this was how I fitted in a world where I wasn’t big and strong. It didn’t feel great, though, I can tell you that.

“Sure. I think we should trust Logan to be responsible. Consider this your test,” Dad said, looking at me with seriousness. It made it all feel worse. I knew I would fail that test, and with Anna promising to ‘reward’ me, I would fail happily while I shoved all guilt away. As I did now. Shoving the guilt, that is.

“So can I go?” I asked.

“Yes. Home before midnight,” Dad said, “here, I’ll drive you to school.”

Dad wrapped a hand around my furthest shoulder, walking me towards the garage. “And no funny business,” he muttered so Mom wouldn’t hear. “These parties and whatnot. I know you just wanna fit in and I know what it takes for you to go to those parties… so I talked to the clerk at the corner of George Green’s Street. As long as you pay, you can do that there, alright? No more stealing, got it?”

“Really?” I asked, perplexed.

“Yeah. Really. This is a big favor I’m pulling off here, so please, don’t do something stupid. I’m trusting you,” Dad said. My chest felt a bit lighter at that. Fuck me, how did I get so nice parents. Then I felt his big hand grab my wrist, and his other shoved something in it. Fifty dollars. “Don’t tell your mother,” he said, finally giving me a smile.

“Thanks, Dad,” I said with as much earnesty as I could muster.

“Hey, I’m your old man, but I know what you teenagers go through,” he chuckled. “Is it after school today?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“I’m off patrol tonight, so like last time, I will wait for you,” he said.

At least I wouldn't have to steal the alcohol, but it still didn’t feel great spending my ‘allowance’ buying alcohol for my bullies and Anna. I hoped this situation would change with time, but I knew that was very unlikely as long as they stuck around. They had a system that had worked so far for them, why ever change it? And I was determined that Jeremy wouldn’t chase me away this time around. So when the moment came where he shoved his hand on me, I just clenched my fists.

“Why can’t I join?” I asked. I knew it was utterly pathetic to beg my bully for permission to go to a party. I had already done that with my parents. “I won’t be in your way. I mostly just sit there and talk to people.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows, looking down at me with utter disgust. “Why would you join? No one likes you. In fact, everytime I see you, I just wanna stomp you until you’re not moving anymore, you little piece of shit. Fuck you, honestly,” he said with a smug smile, as if tormenting me gave him the greatest joy.

“Like I said, I won’t bother you all night. I even have a curfew so I won’t be there so long,” I said, still begging to join the party. He had given me thousands of those speeches before, so the words flew over my head.

“Just–” Jeremy started,

“Jeremy?” Anna called from the treeline, having returned to see where we had gone. “Logan? Are you coming?”

Jeremy looked at me, then at Anna, “Yeah, just telling this idiot why his shirt is all fucked up. Learn to iron, you idiot,” he said, getting a chuckle out of Anna. Hearing her laugh at my expense… Well, at least I got to go to the party.

Like the first party, I just sat around for the most part. I remembered to stand and walk around a bit so the alcohol didn’t pile up on me, and I drank way less. My nerves of what Anna might do to ‘reward’ me were front and center of my brain. I had no hopes or anything, but I did bring a condom. Like I said, there were no expectations or anything, but better safe than stupid, right?

“Hey,” Robert said, making his way over. “Haven’t seen you at a party in a while.”

But he had seen me at the bus stop for years though, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me since that party. Yesterday morning we nodded to each other, in fact.

“Yo. Yeah, I’m not a huge party-goer or anything,” I said. I then nodded towards Zach and Jeremy, who was talking to some of their other buddies. “How come you never hang out with them?” I asked.

“Zach hates lesbians, I love ‘em. Jeremy is a spoiled shithead, nobody likes him. He’s just good at sports,” Robert explained. “Apples and oranges.”

“I guess,” I said. “Where is Jen?” I asked, as I knew he was dating some girl from the other classes.

“She hates parties like these. She’s hanging out with Linda, I’m guessing,” Robert shrugged. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you gay, by chance?” Robert asked.

“What? No!” I said indignant. “I got nothing against gay people, but no. I’m not one.”

“I figured. Zach and his gay this and gay that,” Robert shrugged. “Weeell. I gotta bail. Thinking of Jen and Linda hanging out made me suddenly lose all interest in this party. See ya later.”

Robert rose from the sofa and headed off. After a moment or two, I got up too, to stretch my legs and not throw up again. As I did, I felt something fall out of my front pocket. I looked down at the snowy ground, and there it was. The condom I had brought. I was about to pick it up when I felt an arm yank around my waist, then Jeremy suddenly stood in front of me, with the condom between his fingers. I couldn’t move as Zach had locked his hands around my elbows from behind.

“Hey now, what is this?” Jeremy asked, loud enough for some bystanders to pay attention. “Someone’s hoping to get lucky tonight! Wait, is this yours, Logan? You dirty dirty dawg!”

“Let me go,” I muttered to Zach, wanting to retrieve the rubber before too many caught on the small stage show Jeremy was winding up.

“And aren’t these the wrong size, you think? You fucking idiot,” Jeremy chuckled. “HEY ANNA!”

I didn’t see her as Zach’s grip was way too tight, and she was behind me somewhere, but as most were now paying attention, I had to guess that so was Anna. I could only imagine what sort of creep she thought I was. Maybe she thought I figured her as someone who would give it up easy, or that I was some weirdo who went around expecting something.

“Your little boyfriend here thinks you’re some fucking slut!” Jeremy damn near laughed now, looking past me at Anna.

“Or was it so somebody could fuck you?” Zach said in my ear, his breath stinking with cheap vodka. “Want Jeremy to slide that one on and ram your ass?!”

“You’re so pathetic. You get tossed around even with a dad who’s a cop,” Jeremy sneered. “Come on, Zach, let’s fuck him up while everyone sees how pathetic he is!”

Zach suddenly released my elbows and shoved me to the ground. By instinct, I started crawling away before I got enough of my feet under me to run. I heard thuds behind me, thuds I had heard so many other times when they had chased me. I sprinted with all I had. Through the forest, without direction. Twigs snapped against my face, snow made every step a fight, and my lungs were soon on fire. But both of them were athletes so they had no trouble catching up with me, despite my head start. And despite how tired I had become, I thought I had made leagues on them with my small headstart, but it was just a few hundred yards.

Suddenly, I slammed into a wrought iron fence, feeling the cold metal against my skin. Without thinking, I opened the small gate and slipped into the overgrown garden, hoping the shrub would be enough to conceal me.

“There he is! Look at how he’s trying to hide! HAH!” Zach laughed, as I saw them wade out from under the trees, drunk and angry.

“You’re fucking dead!” Jeremy yelled.

I crawled out from under the bush I had tried to hide in, and tried to round the house. Nope. That didn’t work. Huge locked gates separated the back from the front on both sides. I looked over my shoulder and saw Jeremy yank open the small gate.

Quickly, I skipped up the small steps onto the porch, ripped open the door, and bolted inside, slamming the old door behind me. And just then did I realize where I was.

Dusty furniture and mold filled my vision and my nostrils. Fuck. I had been in such panic mode I hadn’t paid attention to where I had gone, and what house I had decided to hide in. The old strange house. Nobody ever went inside here. But I had no time to contemplate the pros and cons of hiding in here. The boys would find me immediately if they opened the door, and they no doubt saw me go inside.

I hunched down and hurried towards the living room, keeping out of sight as I made my way behind an old sofa, under a window next to it. From behind the sofa, I peered toward the back door where at any moment I would see Zach and Jeremy enter. I heard the steps on the deck outside and saw shadowy silhouettes in the window to my immediate left.

“I’m not going in there,” I heard Zach’s muffled voice mutter.

“Yeah, me neither,” Jeremy said in a low voice. I quickly shot down as Jeremy peeked inside inches above my head. “Zach, see if you can get upfront. I’ll check some of the windows. I just have to beat his ass for making me run all over the woods.”

Over the span of a few minutes of snow crackling, I could see Jeremy move from window to window. From the window to my left to the window on the other side of the door, and in the opposite room, quite literally across from where I hid. But he never saw me. Perhaps it was the amount of disrepair coinciding with the lack of light, but it seemed like my hiding spot served its purpose well. And none of the two bullies came inside. I knew they were there, though. I heard them mutter and walk around, the snow still giving them away as well as their taunts and threats.

They were never known for their patience, but fucking me up was something they’d wait for forever to do. There had been so many times when I had come late for classes because they simply waited outside my hiding spot, eventually to my physical demise. The longer they waited, the worse the beatings got. Now would probably be no different. I had to go home eventually, while those two more or less did what they wanted.

I then looked to my right to see if Zach had indeed gotten around the old house, but what caught my attention instead was a silhouette hiding in the darkness here with me.