Don't Fix It, Chapter 2b

Chapter 2 (cont’d)

The sound of silence filled the SUV, and I congratulated myself on a brilliant idea. Little barbarians couldn’t drink smoothies and talk up a storm at the same time. On the other hand, visiting queens could use the straw in ways that no straw designer had ever intended. At the moment she was stroking it like a little penis.

“Hey, Dad…?”

I tugged the leg of my shorts to give the real penis a little more room. Allie saw and smirked. Then she swirled her tongue around the straw.

“Dad…? Dad…!”

“I’m right here!” I snapped. “You don’t have to yell.”

“But you weren’t paying attention,” Emily said.

Allie was having fun, but she stopped at the sound of distress in Emily’s voice.

“You’re right, Froggy,” I said. “I’m sorry. What is it?”

“Can we go swimming when we get home?”

I glanced at Allie, and she nodded.

“After chores,” I said.

My girls complained, although I had plans for all of them.

“You know the rules: no whining. Em, start the laundry. Anything you need for tomorrow.” I raised my voice to the girls in the back, “Suse? Carly? Did you hear? Leave anything you need washed in the laundry room.”

“Okey-dokey.”

“Word, Mr. H.”

Susie looked at her and giggled.

“Em,” I went on, “you can also clean the kitchen from this morning.”

“That’s Laurie’s job.”

“But she isn’t here.”

“Oh, all right.”

“Madison, start by cleaning up the living room, please. You all left a mess in there last night. Help Emily in the kitchen when you’re done.”

“Okay.”

Allie looked back to make sure Madison had answered and not some doppelgänger.

“Suse and Carly—”

“I know,” Susie said before I could finish, “take care of the dogs. Let them out, clean their food bowls, give them water.”

“Take them outside,” I stressed. “I don’t want them in the lake again. Unless you want to give them baths this time. Understood?”

Susie nodded.

“I’ll help,” Carly said cheerfully.

“Then can we go swimming?” Emily pressed.

“If you do a good job on everything… yes.”

“Do we have to wear our suits?”

I shot her a glance over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“I thought it might be a special thing. Like, only the weekend or something.”

“No…”

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye and glanced at Allie. She shifted in her seat and pulled her denim shirt to the side. She still wore the mesh top beneath it, but without a bra this time. Her nipple immediately stiffened in the breeze from the air conditioner and poked through a hole in the mesh.

“So… can we?” Emily was saying. “Go nude, I mean?”

“Of course. We can do it whenever we want.” I glanced at Allie. Two can play at that game.

She arched an eyebrow and moistened her lips, but the girls were determined to stop us from flirting.

“Do we have to wear sunscreen?” Susie asked.

“You do,” I said.

“Ugh.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I do too.”

“You are looking a little red,” Allie said playfully. She raised the straw to her lips—the red straw—and drank her smoothie. “Mmm, nice and creamy,” she added, in case I hadn’t caught the innuendo. I had. So had Mr. Big.

I did my best to ignore her and said to Susie, “It beats the alternative.”

“I know,” she grumped.

“Now that you mention it,” Allie mused, “I’m a little red too. Well, more like… pink.” She uncrossed her legs, in case I hadn’t understood that innuendo either.

Mr. Big swelled to his full size and tried to pull an Incredible Hulk. Allie’s sea-green eyes glittered with mirth, but Madison kept her firmly grounded in parental reality.

“Pink? From yesterday? You were fine this morning.”

“No, after that,” Allie said. “We, um, were out by the pool.”

“Doing what?”

I cut in, “We went for a swim after we got back from your house. We had to meet the repairman, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Madison said. “So our air conditioner’s working again?”

“It is,” I said, and decided that Allie deserved a little return harassment. “The plumbing, too.”

Her eyes bulged.

“God, is it broken again?” Madison complained. “The stupid sink in the garage?”

“No, the sink’s fine. So’s the rest of the plumbing.”

Allie closed her eyes and recrossed her legs as a wave of pleasure made her shiver.

“Then… what?” Madison said.

“The air conditioner was the real problem,” I told her. “It leaked and ran under the sink—”

“I told you so!” she accused her mom. “I said it wasn’t us.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t us!” Carly cried from the back.

“You were right,” Allie said calmly. “And I’m sorry I believed your dad.”

“Oh, okay,” Madison said. She’d been looking forward to righteous indignation, but her mom had spoiled it. “Well… uh… I mean, don’t let it happen again.”

“I won’t,” Allie laughed softly.

“So the air conditioner’s working now,” I continued smoothly, “although the plumbing probably needs another inspection—”

Allie snorted and tried to cover it with her hand.

“As I was saying,” I continued smoothly, “the plumbing needs another inspection… or two… but it’s in good shape. Really good,” I added, “nice and tight.”

The girls were oblivious, and Emily even changed the subject for me.

“Hold on,” she said, “does this mean they’re going back to their house? I thought—”

“We thought,” Madison interjected.

“Sorry, we thought they were gonna spend the night.”

“Well, then,” I said cheerfully, “I’m glad you asked.”

“Oh, fine,” Emily pouted. “Now you’re gonna say, ‘We’ll see,’ just like you always do.”

“Not at all. We talked about it, and we thought we’d ask you girls—”

“Wait, what?”

“We thought we’d ask you. Do you want Madison and Carly to spend the night?”

“Duh! Why—? Sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s okay,” I said evenly. “Let’s start again. Do you want—?”

“Yes, please.”

“Much better.”

“Girls, what do you think?” Allie asked hers. “Do we want to spend the night again?”

“Sure!”

“Word, homeskillet,” Carly said.

“Okay…,” Allie chuckled.

“She means, ‘yes, please,’” Susie translated.

“Thanks. I got it.”

“Do we need to get clothes?” Madison asked.

“I’m one step ahead of you,” Allie said. “I got some when we were at the house earlier.”

“Oh, cool!”

“Mega,” Carly agreed. Then, “Hey, Mom… what about Boots?”

“He was fine,” Allie said. “I gave him food and water before we left.”

And he had a kitty door to come and go as he pleased.

“Does he need to spend the night too?”

“I don’t think so, honey. He’s fine at home.”

“Word.”

I pulled into the garage and shifted to park.

“Okay, ladies… chores first, then swimming.”

They all groaned this time.

“Hey, it’s better than chores and homework.” Emily and Madison opened their doors, and I had to raise my voice over the commotion, “Remember your bags! I don’t do luggage. Boo, that means you.”

Susie winced in chagrin, extracted herself from between the middle seats, and reached into the cargo area. She came up with her own backpack as well as Carly’s.

I decided to reward her, so I pushed the button to open the tailgate. Susie shot me a wild grin and then climbed over the back of the seat. She landed in the cargo area with a boneless thump, although she bounced up immediately. She was about to hop to the ground when she stopped, turned, and bent over the seat again. She caught the strap of her lunch bag.

“C’mon, Mr. Lunch Buddy. What’s that? Oh, I suppose you’re right. Mr. Brunch Buddy it is.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

The bag shot over the seat as Susie jumped out and ran inside like a true barbarian. Carly gave me a shy smile and followed, a bit more gracefully. She even leapt up and tried to grab the tailgate to close it.

“I got it,” I said. “Go help Susie with the dogs.”

“Thanks, Mr. H.! I mean, word!” She raced into the house and slammed the door behind her.

Allie gazed at me across the open passenger compartment.

“That was good,” she said, “the bit about the plumbing.”

“Not as good as the thing with the straw.”

“You liked that, huh? Do I need to suck your straw later, after the girls’re in bed?”

“Of course! Then I can inspect your plumbing.”

“Mmm, I can’t wait.”

✧ ✧ ✧

Allie threw together a Mexican chicken casserole and joined us in the pool after she put it in the oven.

Summer haze still ringed the sky, but it darkened to the color of washed denim in the east. Slanting light from the west painted the clearing in warmer hues, butterscotch and honey.

Crickets filled the air with their evening song, and a chorus of frogs rose from the lake. A speedboat droned in the distance, but the sound of the waterfall reduced it to a gnat, a vague annoyance at the edge of consciousness.

“This is nice,” Allie said. “Very peaceful.”

We were sitting on the bench in the deep end, and neither of us had felt the need to talk until that moment. The water over our shoulders washed away the stress of the morning, although it hadn’t done a thing for the sexual tension from the afternoon.

Allie and I had been flirting since we’d picked up the girls. She teased with words and looks, and I returned the favor with gropes and squeezes.

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

Me Penis, you Vagina. What? Too much?

Maybe a little.

I can’t help it. I have a limited vocabulary.

You’re me, remember?

Touché. Dumbass.

I had better things to pay attention to. Allie was sitting with her legs crossed and her shoulder pressed close. Her breasts formed a deep valley between them, and her pink nipples were visible just below the surface of the water. They were stiff from the cool instead of anything I’d done, but I wasn’t about to complain. Thirty years as a nudist hadn’t done a thing to the thrill I felt at the sight of breasts.

“See anything you like?” Allie teased in a bedroom voice.

“All of it. You?”

“Mmm.” She moved her hand to my thigh, and the little head reacted with a predictable twitch. “Later,” she promised. “Right now I’m enjoying just sitting here.”

I nodded, and we fell silent to enjoy the calm before the storm.

The girls bobbed in the shallow end, suspended by pool noodles under their arms. Their quiet voices said more about their exhaustion than their body language. Even the dogs were worn out. Molly lounged on the sun-warmed flagstones, while Spike and Buck sat on the steps like bookends. Christy could’ve carved them from black basalt and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

The evening was still warm, but the humidity had fallen and the breeze had picked up. We decided to eat on the patio. The girls wrapped their towels around themselves like festive little enchiladas. Allie donned her mesh top, although she was bare underneath and below. I sat on my towel and let it all hang out.

The girls told us about dance camp while we ate. Susie did most of the talking, and Madison filled in details from the older girls’ class. Emily did most of the eating, although Carly gave her a run for her money. She must’ve been going through a growth spurt too. Carly eventually reached her limit, while Emily scraped out the casserole dish and emptied the bowls of rice and beans onto her plate.

“This is nice,” Allie said again.

“What,” Emily asked between bites, “eating outside? We do it all the time.”

“No, I meant doing it nude.”

Emily frowned, and her fork froze midway to her mouth. She liked things in neat little categories.

“But… you aren’t,” she said. “Nude, I mean.”

“I am from the waist down,” Allie said. “And I’m nude under my top.”

“You know what I mean.” Emily winced at my silent disapproval. “Sorry,” she added in a friendlier tone. “Only… you aren’t.”

“No,” Allie replied diplomatically, “but I’m a lot more nude than usual.”

“That’s fair. And I suppose we are too. Under our towels, I mean.”

“Mmm hmm. And your dad’s completely nude.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t count,” Madison said.

“Why not?” her mother laughed.

“I dunno. Because he’s a grown-up, I guess.”

“Grown-ups are people too,” I said.

“Yeah, but not, like, for real. I mean, they’re grown-ups.”

“Mmm. I see what you mean.”

Allie’s eyes crinkled at my dry delivery, although she did her best to wipe it away when Madison frowned.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Emily finished cleaning her plate and set her fork at four o’clock. Then she set her knife beside it, even though it was still clean. “It’s a code,” her mother had drilled into her, “to tell the server you’re finished eating.” The empty plate would’ve been enough for most people, but not Emily.

She folded her napkin into its original shape and set it on the table. Last but not least, she drained her juice in two ladylike sips before she returned the empty glass to its coaster.

“Thank you for dinner,” she said graciously, also her mother’s influence. “It was delicious.”

“Yum, yum!” Susie agreed like a revving engine. (We were still working on her.)

Carly added her own, “Word, homeskillet,” her new favorite phrase.

“Yeah, Mom, it was really good,” Madison said.

I wrapped up the thanks with a nod. The others took my cue, and we fell silent for approximately two seconds.

“Hey, Dad?”

“Yes, Froggy?”

“Remember you said we’d talk about camp?”

“What about it? Do we need to leave early tomorrow?” I glanced at Allie. “I thought it was just for registration. Did the schedule change?”

She shook her head, as clueless as I was.

“No, camp-camp,” Emily said. “Remember? You said we could invite Madison and Carly—”

“Ah. No,” I replied neutrally, “I said we’d talk about it.”

“Well? Have you?”

Allie shot me a bemused look, although it fell flat when she realized which camp Emily was talking about. Then Madison and Carly tag-teamed her.

“Can we, Mom? It sounds really cool.”

“Yeah, mega.”

“They have a lake and pool and everything.”

“And another lake, too,” Carly agreed helpfully.

“We wouldn’t have to wear suits or anything.”

“Yeah! I mean, no!”

“No more stupid tan lines.”

“I know what a nudist camp is,” Allie said testily.

“Well? Can we go?”

“Can we, can we?”

“Hold on, girls,” I told them. “We haven’t even talked about it. It’s my fault. I said we would, but I completely forgot.”

“That’s okay,” Emily said, “we can talk about it now.”

Allie and I were in complete agreement, That won’t happen in a million years, young lady.

Emily wilted.

“Sorry, Em,” I said to soften the blow, “but you aren’t a parent yet.”

“Then how’m I s’posed to learn if—?”

“No.”

“But, Dad—!”

“No.”

She started to protest again, although she swallowed it when I didn’t interrupt.

“Mmm,” I agreed. “You know what’ll happen if you do.”

She glared defiantly but wasn’t ready to start losing privileges.

“I said we’d talk about it, and we will,” I explained calmly. “Tonight, even. But we also need to talk to Mom—”

“Why? You know she’ll say yes.”

“Probably,” I conceded. “But we have to clear it with her. With Maddy and Carly’s dad, too.”

Madison’s eyes widened. “No!”

“No, please!” Carly begged.

“You can’t,” Maddy said to her mother. “You know what he’ll say.”

“No. Like he always does. Humph.”

“We never get to do anything,” Madison whined.

“Yeah!”

“Whoa, girls, stop!” I waited for silence and then let it stretch out. “We haven’t decided anything yet.”

“But you will,” Emily hinted. “And… like… do you even need to call Mom?”

Madison made her own case, “Or Dad?”

“Yes…”

“And I’ll think about it,” Allie finished.

We were a good team, more than a match for a couple of tween girls.

Emily narrowed her eyes at the challenge. Then she leaned forward and fixed me in the sights of her mind control. She slowly dialed it up to eleven. Her mother’s worked, but not hers, and I gazed at her with bland equanimity.

“Fine,” she huffed at last.

“I thought you’d see it my way.” I waited for her frustration to cool before I added, “I know it’s important to you, Em. It’s important to me too, because I want you to be happy.”

She tried to glower, but I knew that trick too.

“But it isn’t just about what you want. We need to consider a lot of different things. Grown-up things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, it’s fine to go nude at a friend’s pool, but a week at a nudist camp is different.” Especially a camp full of swingers, I added.

Allie caught the gist of it and nodded.

Emily wanted to argue and ask questions, but her mother’s rules stopped her. She decided to sigh heavily instead.

“I know,” I told her sincerely. “Sometimes being a kid sucks. Grown-ups make all the decisions, and you have to do what we say, whether you like it or not.”

“What’s the matter with that?” Susie asked innocently.

“Hush,” Emily told her.

Susie turned grumpy. She sat back and crossed her arms in a show of eight-year-old pique. I could apologize to her later, but at the moment I needed to focus on Emily.

“I get it,” I said. “You want an answer, and you want it now.”

She nodded again.

“We want to give it to you, but you need to be prepared if we say no. Can you do that?”

“I suppose.”

“That’s my girl. Excuse me, young woman.”

Her cheeks turned rosy, which didn’t happen very often with her complexion.

Silence settled over the table, and the tension flowed away like hot fudge over ice cream.

“Speaking of which…,” I said aloud, “I’m sure we have some ice cream in the freezer. It isn’t Bruster’s, but…”

Emily perked up, and Carly muttered, “Fo sheezy,” which actually made me laugh.

“She means ‘yes,’” Susie translated automatically.

“Thank you. So, ladies…? Do we want to make sundaes and watch a movie till bedtime?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Madison turned to the younger girls. “What do we wanna watch?”

Susie was so surprised that she didn’t know what to say, and Carly was still preoccupied with food.

“Princess Diaries?” Madison suggested.

“Oh my gosh, yes, please!”

“Mmm, sundaes. I mean, word!”

“C’mon,” Emily said in Little Commander mode, “let’s clean up the kitchen while I check on our clothes for tomorrow.”

They rose, gathered the dishes, and trooped inside.

Allie and I watched in stunned silence. Then she sort of huffed.

“What?”

“God, you have no idea…”

“What?”

“How sexy you are right now.”

“Oh! In that case…” I pushed back from the table and gestured to my lap. “Have a seat?”

“Ha! And talk about the first thing that comes up? Does that ever work?”

“All the time,” I boasted.

“Maybe on Christy, but not me.”

“Okay, then what does?”

“Being a good dad.”

“Ah. Then it’s my lucky day.”

“It’s your lucky week.” She nodded toward the girls. “As soon as they’re in bed.”

I pushed up from my seat and made to go inside. “Sorry, girls, everyone upstairs—”

“Sit down!” Allie laughed.

“Hmm… I might need some incentive.”

“Like what?”

“A handjob? At least until they finish cleaning the kitchen.”

“What! Here? Now?”

“Sure. They can’t see through the glass, remember? It acts like a mirror—”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” I settled into my chair and scooted closer, and Allie reached for my dick.

Fo sheezy.

My eyebrows rose. Seriously? You too?

Chillax, man. I got this.

✧ ✧ ✧

My phone buzzed, although I almost missed it because of the movie. Then I felt it again, so I pulled it out of my pocket. The little display was dark. I stared and waited for it to light up with a call.

Allie was sitting beside me with her feet tucked up and her hand resting in my lap. We weren’t actively fooling around, but we had been earlier.

“Everything okay?” she asked quietly.

The phone buzzed again and lit up briefly, and I finally figured it out.

“Yeah. Only, I married a technophile.”

“A what?”

“A technophile, someone who loves—”

“Tech. Got it.”

“Yeah, sorry. Anyway… Christy. She can’t balance her checkbook, but she’s a savant with a cell phone.” I flipped open mine and skimmed the text messages.

Hi, it’s me. Who else would it be?

Wait! Don’t answer that. Ha ha.

We’ve had a long day, so we’re going to bed.

The text scrolled and a new message appeared while I was reading.

Love you. Tell the girls. Love them too.

I showed Allie.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool. Instant Messenger on your phone. Will mine do that?”

“No clue. You’ll have to ask her.”

Oh, and tell Allie hi. Hi, Allie!

“Hi back. How do you reply?”

“I don’t. Not yet. I can’t type fast enough. I will when she’s finished.”

“Okay, then… where’s the keyboard?”

“You use the numbers. I’ll show you.”

Hope you had a fun day. ;-) ;-)

Tell her to save some for me. Ha ha.

8===D~

Allie laughed. “Is that…?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll have to remember that one.”

I’ll call in the morning.

XOXOOO

“What’s that mean?” Allie asked. “Why the extra—? Never mind. I figured it out.”

“Mmm. A certain activity you both enjoy.”

“What,” Allie teased, “typing O’s?”

“Something like that. Anyway, that’s her code to say she’s finished. Now, watch this.”

I began hunting and clicking on the number pad, but semaphore might’ve been quicker. It took me almost a minute to type a simple message.

LOVE YOU TOO. ALLIE SAYS HI. TALK TOMORRW. XOXO

“Oh, wow,” Allie teased, “you really need an O. Alas, it’ll have to wait. Maybe… tomorrow?”

I felt a triple stab of disappointment, resentment, and confusion. Then Allie nodded at the little screen.

“Crap.”

“That’s okay. But why uppercase?”

“Because it takes twice as long if I switch. And… I can’t remember how.” I sounded a trifle grumpy, even to myself. “I married the technophile, remember?”

“That’s okay. You have other talents.” She leaned in, and her breath felt warm on my ear. “Oh, God, harder, harder,” she panted, “that’s it, right there!” Then she laughed and nipped my earlobe. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Try harder next time.”

“Mmm, you said harder…”

✧ ✧ ✧