If It's Stupid But It Works... Then It's Still Stupid & It's a Miracle That It Worked - Chapter 2

Hermes snapped his fingers, leaving in style as he transformed into light that rode the winds.

So cool. I couldn't help but think.

I sighed unable to keep my smile off my face. I should probably feel afraid, or at least anxious.

Instead I'm kinda excited. Quite frankly when I first realized what world I was reborn into, I felt stressed.

Then I learned who my dad was, and I was stressed and confused. I wasn't sure what my role was in this world, the grand scheme of things, or the Fates designs.

I don't remember the details of the Percy Jackson plot. Heck, I haven't even read Heroes of Olympus. Really shouldn't have put that off.

I eventually tried to bring my worries to my dad. Worded it more about 'how can I live in this dangerous world of monsters, where I concretely know I don't have control over my fate, rather than just nebulously knowing that?'

I didn't really expect the God of Stupidity to give me an answer. I was more shooting a shot in the dark.

===x===

"Amor fati," My dad had said.

"...Seriously?" I remembered replying.

"What's wrong with that answer?" He asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

"Kinda difficult to 'love the Fates', when I know they are real. That I know they will dictate my life, good or bad, that every time I get hurt, it's because of them, and anything good that happens aren't my own efforts, but because of them too. What's the point of any action I take anyways at that point?!"

I admit, I was kind of a whiny shit son at that time (yeah I was seven or eight at the time, but that's not the point), and maybe I was laying into my dad just to vent.

Again, I didn't expect the God of Stupidity to give me any advice. I think... I didn't really appreciate my dad at the time. I feel ashamed and embarrassed thinking about the me from back then, now.

"Love them anyways." He said, much to my bewilderment. "The humans that let go of the gods, or because unsure of their existence, or use them as a crutch to be disregarded at the earliest conveniences, they also suffer your same dilemma. They call it causality, determinism. That our actions are already premade in the brain before we are even aware of them, or aware that we already decided them.

"That the actions of previous generations already shaped and set the path of their life, and there was nothing they could do about it. On and on, there's always the excuse that one's life is outside of their control... Funny thing is," I remember him pausing, a wistful smile on his face. "The moment you accept that, that there are millions outside of your control, that you are told there are things that are going to happen regardless of what you do, you find out just how much you can really do, how much control you have of your life and decisions.

"The Fates might have paved you a path and a destination, but how you walk that path, and when is it that you reach that destination, those are all up to you." Dad's words silenced me. That wisdom and warmth, I could do nothing but accept them. "Besides," he chuckled. "They rarely have people talk to them, out of fear, rightfully so mind you, or compliment them on good fortune, or just general conversation, that when they do? They are likely to give you something a little extra under the table from time to time."

"...I feel like the metaphor went off the rail somewhere. Anyways, how? Like an example?"

"Like them giving you twenty dollars secretly with your holiday money, that when you go to a diner, and meet a nice, beautiful woman, who doesn't have change for coffee and you offer to buy her some, and she vents to you about her job over breakfast, that you realize said nice and beautiful woman, is actually pretty smart and amazing, and you both hit it off."

"...Is that how you met mom?!" I asked astonished and was met with laughter.

===x===

It was all around a pretty heartwarming talk, I remember that much.

And its what lead me to just directly pray to the Moirai if there's a point to my existence. If I was an aberration, or a meaningless piece, or if I'm suppose to live my life in a way not to fuck up the plot.

I got a picture book on Christmas that year from a 'mysterious sender'. It was a Choose Your Own Adventure book, where the ending was the same regardless of which way you read it.

The hero died and there was people around him. How you read the book changed the context of that ending.

But there was a note written at the corner of the book at the end.

"Which path would you have prefer the hero went through?"

The message was simple. If the picture book hero had the same ending regardless, then just from plain logic, the story path where he got friends, overcame difficulties, survived the hard times and was happy and content; that would be the best one.

I felt relieved in a way then.

Amor fati.

We all die in the end anyways, that is the most assured fate of everyone, so I can choose any path toward that then.

It reminded me of a quote by Loki in the Magnus Chase books. Funny that I read those, but not the Heroes of Olympus. I don't even remember all the details of those stories, but I do remember vaguely Loki's kind advice to Magnus in book one.

"The major story points might have been written, but the details is how we rebel against destiny."

Or something like that.

I remember asking my dad way later on, how come he sounded so wise when he was... you know.

===x===

"'The God of Stupidity'?" He smirked.

"I... don't wanna be rude." I said looking down. "I don't want to insult you, dad, but it just sounds mean to say."

"Hey," I felt his big hand rub my head, making me look up to meet his proud smile. "There is nothing wrong with being stupid. It's only a problem if you keep choosing to be so and then lament you lot in life. Admittedly it's an oversimplification of what I actually am."

I blinked in confusion as he pulled me to sit next to him on the sofa, giving me a side hug.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not remembered these days, but the more correct title of my domains is, the God of Fools and Foolish Choices." He spoke and I felt a tingle in my whole being. Like a realization of something obvious. A puzzle piece clicking into place.

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"What is the difference between a Hero and a Fool?" He answered my question with a question.

===x===

Caaaw!

I got out of my musing down memory lane to notice a group of birds in a tree on the opposite side of the road.

They were peculiar. First the two dozen or so 'pigeons' were all staring at me. Intensely so. Their beaks were gleaming in the sunlight looking like they are made of bronze or so on occasion.

Because the beaks are made of celestial bronze.

Stymphalian Birds, that what they were.

Wow, not even an hour and already my first monsters. I scoffed with a smile as my hand moved to my pocket.

They were zooming onto my actions like they were waiting for an excuse to lunge. I took out a celestial bronze marble. That made them still and tilt their heads in confusion.

Synchronized head tilts, kinda funny.

It still be ten minutes till the bus arrives. Still have that long before transportation is here.

Recalling what my mom said, made it funny and morbid that Stymphalian Birds were the first monsters I encountered.

The threw the marble into the air, and let it fall back into my hand. The monsters eyes were on it like a deadly weapon. Which of course it was.

"Remember what I told you." My mom had said.

And it was a good theory. My mom asked about Koalemos' other children. His other kids since he had to have had many over the ages. Through the tears and the drunkenness to open up about that heavy topic, he talked about how they died, what kind of monsters they tended to face.

Biggest number tended to be spider monsters. Odd coincidences, since the other types of demigods those usually target more consistently were Athena's kids.

Almost always, all the monsters that managed to slay my brothers and sisters of ages past, were in some way or another related to the Goddess of Wisdom.

Marble throw, fall and catch. Marble throw, fall and catch.

The second reason for their death after monsters, was usually accidents, like falling down holes under their feet they didn't see, but we don't talk about that.

Mom theorized this might due to who Koalemos' mother was. She didn't buy it was Nyx, specially when dad was so evasive about it. The only time he was truly stubborn about a subject he didn't want to engage with.

If that was true, there was the question of why. Mom said the 'why' doesn't matter, but had a good idea.

Reputation.

Marble throw, fall and catch. Marble throw, fall and catch.

The greatest treasure a god holds. Sorta like presidents, so I guess humans and gods were the same in that aspect.

Both politicians and gods don't like being mocked. Main reason to really not be a god and worry about that stuff. Dad is probably the only exception, and that's because he doesn't get when other gods make fun of him. Or if he does, it just rolls off his back nonchalantly.

So now I at least had an idea on what type of monsters I'm likely to face. I already studied all those types a long time ago. Memorized them by now, really.

Marble throw, fall and catch. Marble throw, fall and catch.

Mom said that if her theory is true, to not let Athena know that I figured it out. Better keep her murder attempts 'subtle' as they were.

"Demigod!" One of the monster birds cawed.

"Tasty demigod."

"Weak demigod."

"Lonely demigod."

"Alone." "Alone." "Alone."

The marble fell, I caught it and paused.

"You know, you looked way more threatening before you started talking." I said as I pressed a button on the marble making it expand. Yes, like a pokeball. It became a celestial bronze baseball.

"CAW!"

"Foolish demigod!"

"Arrogant demigod!"

"Tasty demigod!"

"Stupid demigod!"

"Stupid!" "Stupid!" "Stupid!"

"Am I dealing with monsters or kindergarteners?" I said to myself.

The birds took exception to that as they finally posed in a more threatening manner. Like they were about to fly at me. But I read how they actually fought.

They'd fly up and then pepper me with their metallic feathers.

I pulled back my arm, readying Le Bronze Ball, not planning to give them a chance.

Also yes, my weapon is called 'Le Bronze Ball'. Dad isn't creative with the names, and as for the 'Le' in the beginning as a poor attempt at French?

Because French is cool.

Why?

Because love is cool.

I have no idea why or how Koalemos came to that conclusion. I 100% know in my bones Aphrodite was involved, and I don't care to find out how.

I flexed my arm muscles, pulling at my divinity that burned and glowed in my blood.

The work and effort of years of training coming to the forefront. The two most important lessons dad taught me applying now.

Lesson one: Belief is everything.

If a demigod believes it's possible it becomes so. Don't let knowledge and truth get in the way awesome.

Lesson two: Divine Power.

Every demigod child inherits access to at least one of their godly parent's domain.

It's as self evident as people's belief in gravity. A demigod child must and will have a power from their godly parent.

And mine?

Stupidity Nullification.

I targeted the Stymphalian Birds and took away their ability to make a stupid decision.

They all frozen in place.

See the thing people don't understand is that stupidity is what allows the world to function. If you think about it from an angle.

Why take an action, when all actions have infinite possibilities? This is usually an optimistic thing, but consider that in those infinite possibilities, infinite chances of getting hurt, or loss and sadness, of learning happiness, love, triumph and glory and then the feeling of losing those things, or just losing the high after those moments pass.

Thus the most logical, the most rational, the smartest choice any living being can make is... nothing.

No action breeds no result that could have negative impact.

Inaction could also lead to a negative outcome. Thus no thought leads to peace.

Thus for six or seven minutes a day, I can remove people's, or monsters' as in this case, ability to make stupid decisions. It's not a one time activation, I can spread the time I use that power throughout the day, but in the end, that's the total amount of time I can use my power per 24 hours.

Why that limit?

Because making people not do stupid things is really, really, really, really, really difficult.

And with the bird monsters frozen in place, it was the easiest thing to plan my shot, angle it just right and...

Hit twenty seven birds with one stone.

BOOM!

A sonic boom ruptured the air as my arm swung and the celestial bronze weapon was released.

The instant it hit the first Stymphalian Bird, two things happen. The monster bird exploded into golden dust, and the ball ricocheted off the bird and into another.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Over and over again Le Bronze Ball slammed into one bird, only to bounce into another.

"CAAW!" One bird regained it's sanity. The last one.

Only having enough time to see the ball headed toward it, being the last view of it's life of this manifestation on earth.

BAM!

And with that last hit, the ball rebound one last time heading toward me. I caught it once more without any issue.

"Ooo! Aaah! Hot, hot, hot!" I bounced the celestial bronze baseball from one hand to the other for a while.

Guess between breaking the sound barrier and hitting multiple monsters hard enough to disintegrate them it picked up some heat.

The bus thankfully came on time, and I headed to the Raleigh-Durham International Airport without much issue.

Not a bad first day.