Hop To It - Advance 4

[Heyu]

The new and improved Mystic Station had a beautiful view of the ocean. The old man running the place was contentedly sweeping around his counter while I sat on a bench facing the cliff, overlooking the sea, reading a book I’d been meaning to get to. I picked it up because of Iota, actually, since it was about a robot lost in the wild. It was very much a children’s book, but as those went it was pretty good.

Humi was back home with Iota, working on that new robot. I didn’t want to make her come to the station to wait when she could be doing something more interesting.

Gamma was seated next to me as I waited for the train. It was kind of an odd sight, seeing him crouched down like that; he had an extra joint in his legs compared to Iota, and the way they folded up kind of confused me, geometrically. Or maybe I was bored and letting my mind wander. The book was for children, remember.

I looked up, past the cliff face to our right, to where a raised section led out to nothing in particular. “Hey, Gamma, you probably still have some of Robotnik’s database downloaded, right?”

“Correct,” he answered promptly. “It is likely outdated by now; I have no ability to inform you of my creator’s future plans.”

“That’s fine. It’ll be a while before I’m ready to deal with world-saving nonsense again.”

“Then what do you wish to know?”

I pointed across the bay. From this raised vantage point, there was actually a huge, roughly circular patch of ocean near the cliffs where the water was visibly bluer and deeper than the surrounding shallows. “See over there, where there’s a great big hole in the continental shelf? That’s where Angel Island came to rest during our first adventure.”

I didn’t know much about Angel Island. I doubt anyone did, but what I did know included the fact that it wasn’t always airborne, which naturally meant it had to be attached to the earth at some point. Mystic Ruins, where there were still so many signs of Echidna ruins, was as likely a place as any. The other explanation was that the earth over there was soft enough that Angel Island dug a trench when it fell; either way, being able to see where it once was was fascinating.

Gamma whirred as he thought. “Correct.”

“I’m just curious if there’s any data on its flight pattern. Is it likely to return to this spot any time soon?” It made sense to me that it would return to its place of origin periodically.

Gamma was silent, eyes dulling, as he sorted through his databanks. Iota did the same thing when he was thinking.

After a minute or two, Gamma lit back up. “...There is no data exactly stating Angel Island’s flight path, but comparing notes on previous tracking data suggests that it does take a semi-consistent pattern. Assuming that Knuckles has neither means nor desire to steer it elsewhere… It should currently be somewhere in the vicinity of the Eastwatch Islands. It is likely that it will return to Mystic Ruins eventually. I apologize, but I cannot be certain when.”

I leaned back. “That’s fine. I was just curious.” My ear twitched, and I looked towards the train tunnel across the bridge. “Thanks for sticking around, by the way,” I said idly. “I know you probably want to get on with your personal quest and whatnot.”

“I will soon. I am enjoying spending time with Iota and Big and Humi.”

I waited. “...Yeah?”

“And Froggy, of course.”

If not for the tiniest lilt in his synthesized voice, I might not have known he was joking. So I smacked him in the hull, producing a ringing sound as I grinned. “Jerk.” I chuckled, then looked at the tunnel again. “Sounds like he’s finally here.”

Gamma turned his head towards the tunnel. We watched until the train’s headlights became visible in the tunnel’s gloom.

“Do I need to know anything about this Cosmo individual?”

I shrugged, standing and stretching my legs for a second. “I was kinda sorta friends with him. I remember him being sort of quiet. A little shy, until he was on stage or on the field and playing his solos. He was like a whole different person then.”

The train exited the tunnel and pulled to a stop. The station master put on his hat and stepped over, clearing his throat. “Now arriving from Station Square!”

The doors slid open. Before they could even finish clicking into place, the blur of eye-searing orange stepped through and in three strides came over to shake my hand.

“Hey, you! Hayden, it’s good to see you again!” Cosmo practically shouted, eyes twinkling from behind his glasses. “Are you still playing trumpet?”

I blinked rapidly. I was already starting to lose feeling in my fingers. “I--kinda. I brought my horn back with me when I came back from visiting my parents, but I haven’t gotten it out yet--”

“Shame.” He turned to Gamma. Even sitting down, the robot was taller than him. “My word, you’re a big one. Are you that hero robot I’ve heard about?”

“Ye--”

“Outstanding!” Cosmo spun around, looking past the train and out towards the ocean. “And look at this view! You live out here? Excellent choice, Hayden!”

“I didn’t really choose it so much as I stumbled into it--”

“Outstanding!” He ran back into the train and started hauling out sound equipment and lights.

Gamma moved to help him, but not before giving me a look. “Very shy. I see what you mean.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.”

“Excuse me?”

The voice came from a blue hedgehog stepping off the train now, carefully moving around the equipment. She wore a red tracksuit with the jacket tied around her waist, a black shirt underneath.

I blinked at her resemblance to a certain speedster, before shaking myself. “Hello, and who are you? Are you part of Cosmo’s crew?”

She grimaced. “Not… really? He talked me into being in his video. I don’t think he has a crew, it was just us on the tram.”

…Just them?

I looked over at Cosmo and Gamma, setting the last of the equipment on the floor of the station.

“...Alright, I see where this is going.”

-------------------------------

[Humi]

The G.U.N. Hunter-class Drone was a mass-produced humanoid automaton, the patent being the property of the United Federation Department of Defense. The standard Hunter has wide feet for greater stability, a three-fingered left hand and a massive, modular firearm on the right arm beginning at the elbow. Each Hunter is powered by a single chaos drive. They possess 90% of the average human range of motion, can run up to 21 miles per hour, and can perform jet-assisted jumps up to thirty feet high.

Fifty years ago, when the Hunter was new, it and the other Drone models belonging to G.U.N. were the absolute peak of robotic technology, decades ahead of any other robot you’d care to name. In the modern day, though consumer technology was catching up, Hunters still set the bar in the field of robotic engineering. Eggman aside.

Among the scrap sent to their house, Humi had found enough undamaged parts to rebuild three Hunters, and had just put the finishing touches on one.

Well, the ‘finishing’ touches. She wasn’t going to stop at putting it back together, because in her expert opinion as someone who helped build a pretty incredible robot, Hunters sucked.

Humi fiddled with the joystick on her homemade controller, and the Hunter took several steps forward. She pressed a button, and it raised its gun. The same button again, and something inside the gun clicked before a yellow energy projectile was spat out.

It sailed across the grassy field and right in front of Iota’s eyes as he stood up from planting a bed of snapdragons.

“Ack! Humi!” he protested, dropping his trowel.

“Sorry! I didn’t think it was loaded!”

The laser bullet hit a tree next to where the road back to Mystic Station began, and left a nasty singed mark on the trunk. Leaves rained down, shaken loose by the impact, and a flock of birds took off.

“...I’m glad I did this test outside,” Humi said to herself. She opened up the Hunter’s arm and disconnected the wires drawing power from the robot’s core, disarming it.

She ran a few more tests, making it do jumping jacks and picking up a large flowerpot Iota wasn’t using at the moment, and ultimately came to one inescapable conclusion:

“I can do better than this.”

She proudly claimed to have rebuilt Iota, but the truth was that Tails did a lot of the technical work while Humi just put the parts together. But she paid attention and learned a lot. She probably could do it by herself now. Maybe. But she could definitely do better than the baseline Hunter drone.

Iota set his tools aside and hummed. “Supportive: You certainly could. G.U.N. drones are mass-produced and are therefore lesser than something like myself, who was custom built. It is a matter of quantity versus quality.”

Humi frowned. “I guess that makes sense. But I feel like quality is more important.”

Iota tilted his head. “...Forgive me saying, but aren’t you prone to making, ah, slipshod and scrappy inventions that don’t last long?”

“That’s different!” she protested immediately. “Those aren’t meant to last long! When I want to make something more permanent, I think it’s important to do it right the first time!”

“Amusement: And I’m very grateful for it,” Iota agreed, admiring his hand for a moment.

Humi rolled her eyes, amused, then turned back to the Hunter. She’d need to upgrade it, but before she could do that she needed to decide what she wanted it to be for.

Iota looked around. “...Do you hear that?”

Both of them looked towards the road as the music approached, getting louder as it did, until the source of it arrived. First Heyu, carrying a camera on each shoulder. Then, a hedgehog Humi almost thought was Sonic before registering first the clothes they were wearing and then the slightly softer features of her face. She was pulling an overflowing chest on wheels, packed full with fabric. Gamma followed them, in his wheel mode, hauling a wagon stacked high with equipment, and finally a loudly dressed bird.

The last ran ahead and took a good look at their house, forming his fingers into a square in front of his eyes. “Wow! Amazing! This is where you’re living now? How did you afford this?!”

Heyu shrugged, nearly losing his grip on the cameras. “Oh, y-you know. Government work.”

“Outstanding!”

The parrot walked right into their house, ignoring Humi’s affronted gasp. “Hey! Heyu, he’s--”

“Harmless, I promise,” Heyu said, sounding tired.

“Trust me, it’s better for him to be in there than out here talking our ears off,” the hedgehog muttered, dropping her load and rubbing her arms. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Humi’s eyes narrowed at this second stranger in her home. “Who are you?” 

“The name’s Tamara.” She shrugged. “Apparently I’m playing Sonic in some sort of music video.”

Heyu turned to her. “Do you know what it’s about? If you’re playing Sonic--”

She shook her head. “No clue. For all the talking he’s doing, he’s been tight-beaked about that.”

Gamma and Iota went to talk while Humi turned to the house. She ran over to the porch to make sure that weird bird wasn’t touching anything.

Before she could get to the door, though, it opened from inside and he stepped out with his arms full of robot parts. “You’ve got an incredible collection here!”

“Hey, that’s mine!” Humi protested.

Suddenly he was in her face, and Humi had to take a step back and nearly fell down the steps to get her personal space back.

“Yours! Outstanding! That must mean the tools are yours as well. Is that robot over there made by you? Are all three of the robots yours?”

“Uh…”

“Cosmo.” Heyu pulled Humi away from the crazy bird, setting her down behind him. “Please, slow down.”

“Yes. Yes, of course, a thousand apologies.” Cosmo straightened, dropping the parts on the ground (Humi growled) and taking a breath. “I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but thank you for meeting me out here. I know my brother put you up to it.”

Heyu sighed good-naturedly. “It’s fine. We were probably going to run into each other out here anyway.” He smiled. “I’ve heard you’ve been doing well for yourself, by the way.”

Cosmo flapped his hand dismissively. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I sort of stumbled into a music career by accident. I’ve released a few singles under Jet Set Records, but my sponsor wanted a music video to promote my first full album.”

“That’s still quite impressive,” Iota noted. “I understand you are very young.”

Was he? Humi thought he looked like an adult. But then, Heyu had complained before about how young she and Tails and all their other friends were while fighting robots. Maybe she had a skewed idea of age.

“...I like your suit,” Humi said, reluctantly. “It’s very shiny.”

“Isn’t it just?” Cosmo agreed, adjusting his lapels with a pleased expression. “A gift from my… mentor.” He dusted himself off and seemed to calm down. “Thank you for helping me move my things, everyone. Might I borrow an outlet? I need to plug my laptop in and make some preparations before moving on to the set.”

Heyu hummed. “Oh yeah, where are you shooting?”

“I’ve got a better question,” Tamara asked. She looked self-conscious when everyone looked at her, but continued anyway. “What song are you--we, doing?”

Cosmo blinked rapidly. “Have I not said?”

“No.”

“Oh, terribly sorry.” He fished into his jacket and pulled out a thin sheaf of papers and a thumb drive. “It’s a new single, debuting with the video. I’ve already recorded it and have a copy here. These are the lyrics, though of course no one here will need to sing them.”

He passed the stick to Iota and the papers to Tamara. The hedgehog scanned through them. Then she stopped and went back, reading slower.

Tamara slowly looked up. “Cosmo. This is a song about Doctor Eggman.”

Heyu’s ears stood up straight. “What?” He took the papers from her to read them himself.

Humi, curious, climbed up his shoulder to read with him, and Iota hovered behind them. …Oh, this might be interesting after all.

“Cosmo, this references the ARK incident, albeit obliquely.” Heyu looked up, brow furrowed. “When did you write this?”

“Oh, I started writing it after the Chaos Incident and I saw the bad doctor on television, shouting about a missile getting defused.” Cosmo shrugged. “I wrote the chorus first, then the music, and filled in the verses as I went. That reference you mentioned was part of the final rewrite, and I recorded it five days ago.”

Gamma whirred. “Is the music industry usually so fast-paced?”

Cosmo just smirked. “That’s just how I roll.”

------------------------------------------

[Heyu]

I read over the lyrics again, looking for something, anything I could find that sounded objectionable. “Cos, are you sure this is wise?”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

Tamara’s eyes widened. “Wait, hold on. Hold the f-frick on. You want me to play Sonic… in a music video that will be on TV, about Doctor Eggman.”

Cosmo looked at her, confused. “Yes…?”

“Are you trying to get me killed?!” Tamara shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. “I do NOT want to be anywhere near that psychopath’s radar! I’m already terrified of him! If I could find a hair dye that worked on quills without looking terrible I’d have gone brunette in freshman year!”

“Why on earth would Doctor Eggman care about a random music video?” Cosmo asked, sounding legitimately baffled. “Surely he’s far too busy to bother with such things.”

“Eggman is incredibly vain,” Gamma warned. “And he keeps an eye on the media. A song about him will capture his attention quickly.”

Cosmo opened his beak to counter that, before he visibly realized who he was talking to. “Oh. I’d suppose you’d know, wouldn’t you?”

“Indeed.”

I read the sheet over for the third time. “Actually… This might be okay. It’s pretty respectful, in fact. Nothing insulting or silly. Flattering, almost.”

“Well, of course. I respect Eggman quite a bit.”

The clearing went deadly quiet. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” Cosmo defended himself. “I can respect someone without liking or agreeing with them. Doctor Eggman is a showman! If he had become an actor he’d have been one of the greats!”

Humi snorted on my shoulder. “Don’t you have to be good-looking to be an actor?”

“It helps but it’s not necessary,” I said, distracted. I flipped to the next pages and found, for lack of a better term, stage directions for the video. “...So, you want to visit the downed Carrier?”

That was an interesting idea… I was honestly surprised that G.U.N. hadn’t gone out to retrieve it yet. It was still out there last I heard, and if Cosmo wanted to do a music video about Robotnik, there were worse places to do it.

I kept reading, and frowned. There didn’t seem to be a lot of… stuff, happening. It looked like he mostly planned on doing a bunch of odd POV angles while singing directly to the camera. That could be a problem.

“Cosmo,” I said, handing the script back to him. “I’m going to level with you. This is a bad idea.”

The parrot stared at me, surprised. He wilted slightly. “I… Okay, maybe. But I’ve already committed to it. I’m under contract to get it done.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.” I tapped my foot, agitated. “The song itself isn’t offensive, but I imagine that the better the video, the less chance of retaliation. And the one you’ve got planned is… very basic.”

“I know…” Cosmo sighed. “I’ve never done one before, so I didn’t know how to make it interesting.”

I closed my eyes, foot thumping. “...Dagnabbit.”

Humi groaned. “Heyu, no…”

“Guys, I think we gotta do this.”

Cosmo blinked. “Eh?”

I held out a hand to shake. “Do you accept constructive criticism?”

The parrot lit up. He practically sparkled as he realized what I meant. “Yes! I absolutely do! This is going to be outstanding!”

Tamara raised her hand. “Is it too late to back out?”

Cosmo looked at her, smirking. “Do you still want your five hundred dollars?”

She reared back, shocked. Then her eyes narrowed. “Eight hundred.”

“Six.”

“Seven fifty.”

Cosmo pointed at her, grinning. “Seven plus a free copy of my album when it comes out!”

Tamara made a face. “I’d rather have the cash, thanks.”

“Ah…”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. This was going to be a long day…

------------------------------------

Slightly Later

“...so can you do that thing where you move so fast you leave a colored trail behind?” I asked, handing Yuno a pen and paper on a clipboard. “Take notes for me, I’m brainstorming.”

The glasses-wearing Omochao saluted. “Can do!”

Tamara shrugged. “I can… for like five seconds at a time. I’m not really a sprinter, at that speed five seconds is usually enough. If I do it too many times I get really sore, though.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine,” I said. I pointed at Yuno to signal it to start writing. “If we do some clever work with cuts, five seconds at a time is all we’ll need.”

She rubbed the back of her head. “I’m really not sure about this… it was cool until I found out what the song was about, but--”

“I think it would be best if we never show your face,” I said, cutting her off. “If all we show is a blue blur and some close-ups from behind, it’ll give the impression of Sonic without having to, you know…” I waved vaguely. “...If we do it that way, you’ll get to keep your clothes on.”

Tamara blinked, looking down at her tracksuit. “I didn’t even think of that!”

Cosmo smacked himself. “Right, I forgot you mammals have stricter dress codes. That one’s my bad.”

“Of course, the real challenge will be Robotnik…”

We puzzled over that for a moment. Humi could probably build a fake Robotnik, but Cosmo had a pretty tight deadline, apparently, and we need to make full use of our time.

The door to outside opened, and we all blinked as sunlight filtered into the dark living room. We turned to see Iota, framed by the light before our eyes adjusted, and he stepped in, wiping his wheel on the doormat.

“Don’t mind me, just finishing up the planting for the day. Carry on.”

Cosmo stood up, grinning. “Iota, was it? How hard would it be to get your legs bending the other way?”

I blinked. “What? Why would you do that?”

The parrot jumped up, pulling Iota’s arm. “Look at him! Isn’t he the same shape as Eggman?”

Iota backed up. “Er.”

“...No, I can see it,” Tamara admitted.

“You know, casting Doctor Eggman in silhouette would be an effective means of making him more intimidating while removing much of the difficulty in representing him,” Yuno offered.

“Uncertain: Are you sure that would work?”

I stood and pushed him back into the doorway, then took a step back and squinted. “...Yes, I think so…”

-------------------------------

Humi and Gamma entered the Final Egg, wiping away cobwebs as they went.

“I rarely entered this place,” Gamma said. “In fact, I am not certain if I ever did. I expected it to be more lively, even now.”

“It probably would be,” Humi said, walking ahead of him without looking up from her checklist. “But me and Heyu went through here a lot, wrecking badniks that got left behind. There’s still a bunch of levels we haven’t explored though.”

“Why did you come back here?”

“For the same reason we’re here now: parts!” Humi approached a pile of scrap from a previous excursion and stuffed as much of it in her pockets as possible. “We need some badniks for ‘Sonic’ to destroy during the video, and the fastest way to do that is to get some badnik shells and put some simple motors in them.”

Humi usually either left the outer shells behind or tore them up for smaller patchwork, since the process of destroying a robot usually ruined their outer layer more than anything else. Yet for some reason she wasn’t able to find much. 

“It’s weird, it’s like someone’s been coming through and cleaning up…” She shrugged and led the way down a set of stairs. The elevator wasn’t working anymore.

They crept down several levels, avoiding running tracks set up for Sonic that were starting to collapse and moving through the backrooms. Gamma’s passwords still worked, giving Humi access to areas they hadn’t even known about. If she wasn’t on a mission right now she’d be tearing the place apart even more, but alas.

After a few minutes of descending, Humi stepped out onto a walkway and froze.

They were in the great big badnik production room. The one where she almost fell to her death, all those months ago.

There were still a few freight robots hovering about, but whatever queue of commands they were made to follow had long since dried up, so they just sort of bobbled in place.

Humi didn’t look down.

Gamma ducked under the doorway behind her, and made a noise. “Ah, perfect. The assembly line. This will be how we get your robots, miss Humi.”

She shook herself. “What?”

“Come.” Gamma took the lead now. They crossed the catwalk to another door, directly into a room full of tower computers, all inactive. Gamma flipped a switch to turn the overhead lights on, and the machines started up as well. “Right there.”

Humi was directed to a small console with no screen--though of course, it turned out it was actually one of those holo-screens Eggman loved so much. Once it lit up, green lines crossed the black background as it set up. “What is this, exactly?”

“This should be one of several control consoles for the assembly line. If it is operational, you will be able to enter commands for specific models of robot, as well as a location within the tower to send them.”

Humi tilted her head, blank-faced, as she observed the screen. It finished loading and presented a very bare-bones UI asking for orders. Humi slowly, haltingly, requested five Motobugs and three Buzz Bombers. After a moment’s thought, she clarified for them to have simplified programming, wiped their loyalty protocols, and had them sent to the lobby where they entered to await orders.

As soon as she pressed enter, the room became filled with loud humming as the computer system got to work.

They left the room and looked around at the assembly stations lining the (stupidly high, why is this room so tall) walls. The nearest stations were whirring to life, putting the requested robots together before they were pulled into the wall through a hatch and sent, presumably, to where they needed to go.

Quickly running back up the stairs, they found their order waiting for them. They were, unexpectedly, collapsed in a pile against each other against the wall. As the final two Motobugs arrived, falling out of a panel in the ceiling, they dropped on top of the pile. All of them were lifeless.

Curious, Humi opened one up and found their battery compartment empty. “Oh, that makes sense. They’re set up to take animals, but there aren’t any coming in, are there?”

“Thankfully not.”

Humi stood there for a long moment, thinking. “...So, I can just go down there to order new robots?”

“As long as the Final Egg’s power core and the systems involved remain functioning. There are unlikely to be many raw materials left, though your chosen badniks are common enough to have had spare parts in storage.”

“What if I wanted to make a brand new robot?” Humi asked. “One Eggman didn’t build?”

Gamma looked at her. “...Theoretically, if you could build it yourself, you could program the assembly machines to replicate it. But you would need to design it yourself first, write its programming and then rewrite it for the machine. Find a power source for them all.”

Humi nodded to herself thoughtfully. “...Neat.”

Maybe she could rip a few of those building machines out of the wall. Something to think about for later.

For now, she just dropped the badniks into her pocket and they made their way back.

---------------------------------------

Iota walked into the Mobini village, carrying a basket of lettuce. The offering wasn’t particularly well-received, though there were still some takers.

“Apology: It has not been long enough since my last visit for me to restock on snacks. I am actually here to request volunteers.”

---------------------------------------

Dano floated overhead, carrying the camera. “Rolling.”

Cosmo bounced in his chair. “Ready… Action!”

Tamara started running, wearing some blue shorts I found and a blue shirt Humi slapped together. She sped down the ramp before pushing herself around the stone loop in the jungle.

She turned the corner out of sight, and Cosmo shouted, “CUT! Let’s see how that looked…”

---------------------------------------

Cosmo stuck the fake mustache on Iota’s face, humming to himself. Then he removed it, adjusted the bristles, and replaced it. “...Yes, that’s close enough, isn’t it?”

Iota turned to the mirror and heaved an electronic sigh. “...I look ridiculous.”

“You looked fabulous!” Cosmo insisted. “Now, let me get into my costume chest, I think I have a ringmaster outfit that could be altered into a facsimile of Eggman’s coat…”

Humi walked in, carrying a plastic semicircle. “Test!”

She jumped up high enough to slap it onto Iota’s chest, before pressing a button on her remote. The doo-dad lit up, revealing itself to be a smile-shaped lamp.

“Utterly ridiculous.”

“Yeah you do!” Humi agreed cheerfully. “Now lay down so I can install the spring.”

---------------------------------------

We made our way to the station to find a boat to the Carrier, and found a familiar truck parked next to it.

Fry leaned out the window as we passed. “Howdy, folks! Feeling hungry?”

Cosmo’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, I smell pancakes! How much?”

Tamara and Humi made orders too, and I stepped over to chat. “Fry, was it? What are you doing out here?”

The alligator pointed his spatula at Cosmo, the parrot narrowly dodging a splatter of batter that flung his way. “I overheard that guy talking about recording stuff out here! And I figure, hey, a music video or whatever’s gonna need a big crew working hard, and hard workers are hungry workers!” He looked around. “Where’s the rest of you?”

“It’s just us,” Tamara said flatly. “He don’t got a crew.”

Fry blinked. Then he shrugged. “Welp, just goes to show you… Want anything, rabbit man?”

---------------------------------------

The station master, very generously, had a small boat he was willing to lend us. Once we got to the Carrier, we set everything up.

I ran down the checklist. “Floodlights.”

Humi moved them into place. “Check.”

“Spotlights.”

Ono flew into position. “Check.”

“Cameras.”

“Check,”  Yuno called.

Duno did likewise. “Check.”

“Actors?”

“Check.” Gamma dramatically cocked his empty gun.

Tamara jogged in place to limber up. “I guess, let’s get this over with.”

Cosmo rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be good. Everyone ready?”

I checked the last item off my list. “Looks like it. Get in your places! Gamma, Tamara, to your places. Iota, costume on. Take one!”

---------------------------------------

Excerpt of Video Script

Open on overhead shot of Mystic Ruins. Pan over several stone causeways overgrown with greenery. Focus on a stone loop. A blue blur runs the loop before vanishing offscreen.

Zoom out to reveal that we were watching a video feed in a shadowy room, with an indistinct figure in a chair facing away from the viewer. Close up on the figure’s gloved hand pressing a button.

Return to jungle. Several mechanical ladybugs zoom across the stone path on their single wheel. The blue blur crashes into them--cut to close up of wreckage to show a rabbit and small boar crawling out, looking relieved. They turn as the blur rushes past again, waving in thanks.

Cut to Egg Carrier. E-102 Gamma is patrolling the deck alongside three robotic wasps, before a blue blur suddenly destroys one. Cut to a wide shot as Gamma turns to face the intruder, who lands in the foreground facing away from the camera. The Eggman logo on the deck between them is very prominent.

The Buzz Bombers attack, one diving in for a sting while the other fires a slow bullet. Both are avoided before Gamma engages. ‘Sonic’ avoided them all, never standing still long enough to get a good look at him.

Spotlights shine down on ‘Sonic,’ blinding him and allowing Gamma to get a few blows in. ‘Sonic’ falls to the ground before jumping up and running away across the deck of the Egg Carrier. Gamma pursues but gets outmaneuvered, ‘Sonic’ opening up his chest hatch and pulling out a frightened peacock. Gamma immediately shut down.

‘Sonic’ looks at the inactive Gamma before turning his head to see a Buzz Bomber escaping with a ‘Chaos Emerald.’ The hero attempts to retrieve it but a laser blast passes in front of him, stopping him short. Camera pan to the roof of the Carrier’s bridge, where Eggman stands holding a gun. A bright light from behind casts him in silhouette, but his glowing blue eyes and luminous grin are starkly visible. Eggman laughs as the Emerald gets away, and ‘Sonic’ runs up the wall to attack him by spinning into his stomach.

The bright light fades to reveal Eggman is actually a robot. Its chest opens up and an oversized Eggman head bounces out on a spring, grinning mockingly at ‘Sonic.’ The hedgehog stares at the machine, then runs out of frame.

Close up on the decoy, then zoom out to the surveillance feed again. The shadowy figure stands, revealing it to be another silhouette of Eggman, and walks offscreen as the song ends.

----------------------------------------

I sat back as the video finished, feeling satisfied.

Cosmo was vibrating. “That was splendid! Outstanding! Better than anything I could have done myself, certainly.” He stood and grabbed my hand, shaking it furiously. “Thank you so much, Hayden!”

“It was nothing.” I paused. “Well, no, it wasn’t nothing. It was a lot of work to get all this done in a day, but I’m happy with it.”

“I’m beyond happy,” Cosmo said earnestly. “I really thought I was sunk before you did all this.”

Tamara stretched. “Well, this was more fun than I expected, but I think I need to get home now. I told my mom I had something to do today, but she’s probably wondering where I am.”

I pointed a thumb towards our kitchen. “Do you need to call her?”

“Nah, I’ll just go.”

Cosmo nodded. “Let me escort you to the station. I need to pay you for your time, after all, and I saw an ATM over there.”

The others all started to celebrate a job well done over a plate of waffles from Fry’s truck. Though really it was only Humi and the three Mobini who could eat them, since I followed Cosmo out.

We walked leisurely down the path, giving a wave to Fry who for some reason had parked his truck in the field around our house.

Odd.

The station master greeted us as we entered, and Tamara got on the train that always seemed to be waiting for us when we needed it. Cosmo got the money he needed and handed it over.

“Thank you again for your time,” Cosmo said sincerely. “Do you think you’d be willing to do it again?”

Tamara thought about it. “...Maybe. Depends on what it is. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. Still a little worried about Eggman’s reaction.”

I waved that concern away. “Nothing to worry about. We never showed your face, and you and Sonic can’t be the only blue hedgehogs in the world.”

She snorted. “I guess. See you round, maybe.”

With that, the train took her away, and I was left alone with Cosmo.

We watched it until the light vanished in the depths of the tunnel.

“...I have to ask,” I said at length. “How exactly did you get roped into doing a video on such short notice?”

Cosmo winced. He seemed to deflate, confidence leaking out of him all at once. “Would you believe it was my own fault? My mentor is…” He sighed. “He’s just so cool, you know? I can’t bear the thought of disappointing him, and I ended up promising more than I could deliver.”

I nodded. “I’d be careful about doing that again. We pulled through for you this time, but the thing about meeting expectations is that you have to keep meeting expectations, you know?”

“I’m aware.” Cosmo pulled himself together, and in a flash he was all smiles and glitter again. “But hey, maybe this isn’t the last we’ve seen of each other, hm? The Egg Carrier isn’t the only point of interest around here.”

“Sure,” I said. “Just try to give me more of a warning than none at all next time, will you?”

Not entirely fair, since that was more his brother’s fault than his own, but he laughed anyway.

“No promises!”

I bumped him on the shoulder and turned around. “C’mon, it’ll be an hour or so before the tram comes back for you. Let’s go get some waffles before Humi eats them all.”

“Sounds good to me.”

------------------------------------

[Eggman]

Some Time Later

Ivo sat down heavily, mug of coffee in his hand. Planning for his next scheme was going slower than he initially hoped. The base he ended up falling back to turned out to have suffered through a minor earthquake that collapsed some of the facilities, and excavating all that was proving a chore. He was feeling down, and really needed something to give him a pick-me-up.

Which is just what he was saving this video for. Eggman found out about it the day it came out, of course, but he’d been busy and deliberately put off watching it. Now, he was looking forward to getting good and angry, maybe going out and harassing whoever was responsible. Put the fear of Robotnik in them!

The song was titled, “E.G.G.M.A.N.,” with no indication what the implied acronym stood for, and was created by Cosmo the Parrot (and Friends), whoever that was. Some winged rodent who didn’t know better than to bother the best.

He sat through the intro, grumbling at how the focus seemed to be on Sonic instead of him, in a song about him! His mood did not improve when some of his badniks got busted up! How did they even get those? Those were his trademark, thank you very much! And no court in the world would support his case, so he’d have to take matters into his own hands.

Then the lyrics started, and Eggman stopped planning destruction. It was actually quite good. Flattering, almost. Oh, but of course they’d go and ruin it by pulling some sort of subversion.

Except that’s not what ended up happening. Instead, the video took them to the Egg Carrier, where Gamma (!!!) did battle with Sonic, and actually gave the hedgehog a decent fight. He lost, but provided the distraction necessary for a Buzz Bomber to get away with a Chaos Emerald (!!!!). It didn’t quite look right, so it probably wasn’t a real one, but still. And then… Sonic failed. A robot duplicate of Eggman fooled him and the chance to take back the Emerald was lost.

The Eggman in the video won.

“...Hm.”

He took a long, slow sip of his coffee, and quietly added the song to his personal playlist. He’d have to keep an eye on this ‘Cosmo…’