An Update On The Status Of Everything

TL;DR > I’ve been very burnt out and I believe it’s from me loosing a clear goal to work towards lately. I’m trying to sort some things out and settle on a project I can build up and be satisfied with.

I never like getting too personal with updates, I always see myself as an entertainer who is giving people a break from their lives, and I don’t want my own personal issues to get in the way of that. Lately though a lot has been building up and it has been getting in the way of me making stuff so I really have to have some transparency.

For a long time it feels like panic has been the main thing driving me to create, to make sure I to keep up with the social media grind, have a stable income, and make sure I provide a good value to my paying Patreons, though lately instead of that stress pushing me to create, it just overwhelms me and made me physically sick with anxiety and withdraw.  This is on top of health issues getting in the way of things too.

I think a major part of this burnout is I’ve been lacking a clear goal. Since 2019 I would make art, post it to Twitter, gain followers, some would commission or join my Patreon, they would give suggestions, I would use them to make art, I’d post it to Twitter, and repeat. I was putting in the work, created well over 1000 drawings, and made what felt like good progress in art being a full-time job. But now Twitter is a dumpsterfire, other platforms are unstable or dumped NSFW, and building a following on any of them just does not feel like something that I can rely on. I enjoy Bluesky, but it still does not get Twitter-level numbers and it’s now my third time trying to build up a “main platform” since I had to do it twice on Twitter (and that does not count any previous SFW projects). I’ve had to pivot many times trying to just find some stability.  

I ended up just pushing on doing the same work I’ve been doing for years, but now it’s like shooting arrows when the target is long gone. It’s a big reason a lot of my newest art hasn't gotten a public release, I’ve honestly just been forgetting to post it to Twitter or Bluesky because it feels kinda pointless to keep up with social media when your account can be nuked with 0 notice or recourse.

Still, on a more positive note having this revelation that I was lacking a clear goal has put some more wind back in my sails. I think I really just need a project that I can feel satisfied with the fact that it’s just complete and out there.  

Personal stuff aside, what does this mean going forward?

I mainly want to try and shake some more spontaneity out of my work, but make something that is more than just a bunch of individual images and pinups.

Bito’s Box Bash was my “main project” for a long time, though the long development of that got bogged down by me wanting to make it the best it can be. In the end it meant I put in a lot of work to build up the foundation but I’m still a long way from having something I could finally get in people’s hands. It is still a project I want to finish but right now I need something I can complete in a month, not a year.

I’ve been turning my attention to some of my other characters:

Tune the Fella is a leading candidate. He was designed in the footsteps of classic cartoon characters to be someone who can just be dropped in any situation, mainly so he was easy to include in Rule34 art. I was recently designing a couple original characters to pair with him, and I have a couple short comic outlines that are in-line with the one I sketched out a while back. I’ll go into more detail on all of that in its own post soon.

Pavi is another one I was toying with. He was a character I had loftier plans for whenever Bito’s Box Bash was done, but I think he could work well in a more casual slice of life thing. A traveling bard getting up to some adventures and mischief.

In general I want to try and make some visual novels. I write a lot faster than I can complete fully drawn comics, and I have a couple story outlines that would lend themselves well to that format. The VN engine for Bito’s Box Bash is very robust and flexible, but was last left in an unfinished state and it’s going to take some work to make some stuff with it.

I also just need to sketch and doodle more. Since I have not been drawing as much as I used to, I’ve been feeling a pressure to make sure what I post is “worth it” and sketchy drawings without color does not feel like it’s enough. I have quite a few I just have not posted to Patreon yet for that reason, but that stuff is like the stretches you do before a run.

On a side tangent, I was looking into making some physical merchandise but the stupid tariff war shit has put those plans on ice. I laid down a lot of money for some plush prototypes a couple weeks before all of that stuff happened and I’ve been waiting until I know I won’t be slapped with high extra fees for even getting a single prototype in. I was also looking into logistics to maybe adding stickers or keychains to a higher Patreon tier or something. Something may still come of all of that soon, time will tell.


Thanks for sticking with me through all of this and sorry for the long ramble, I’m working on getting a more detailed plan in place for a project moving forward, getting everything in order, and reaching out to some people I need to for art I promised in the past. More info coming soon.