THE HOVEL--June Newsletter!

Hello my Sweets,

Can I call you that? I’m going to. It’s Pride Month and therefore no one can get mad at me—virtually by law.

We are a few days off of the first, but still close enough that I don’t feel entirely like I’ve missed the deadline. Three days late is still on time when you work for yourself. (While I would not recommend that mindset to anyone just starting to work from home—discipline is very important—it is sometime necessary to forgive your own failures.)

May is the first month this year that really felt like spring for me. It rained for several days; the apple blossoms grew into floral clouds, and subsequently died in a shower of petals, coating the sidewalks in fragrant pinks and white. The trees all turned from budding branches to full greenery, and the desaturated brown of winter has thawed into a lush green. I love this time of year—it feels like even the landscape is motivated, growing gradually into a summer bloom.

PROGRESS BAR

I can say confidently that I worked very hard in May. I did not do as much as I wanted, but I spent nearly every day making creative progress, and that's worth celebrating. I am impatient by nature. When I start something, I want to finish it in one setting—it feels like a race against losing interest. I want my ideas to spill onto the page in a single breath, but the kind of projects I’ve chosen to work on aren’t made in one sitting. They’re built over time, grown from soil fertilized over the course of years. Long-form projects take patience and practice. I have done the practice, and I am working on cultivating the patience.

In May, I hit a milestone on HEARTACHE—which would feel a lot more gratifying if it wasn’t two months later than I had wanted. I am very proud of my progress, if a little frustrated by my very human limitations. I finished the rough pages, though, which means I have drawn the whole thing—roughly, but still complete! I also revised the text to match any changes my script went through in the drawing process, which took longer than I thought it would by half. I’m several stages away from HEARTACHE being finished, but this is the first time I’ve seen it as a whole book—drawings and text together to tell a story.


(look at all of those squares filled in!!)

HEARTACHE is, in a lot of ways, my child. It’s built on an idea I’ve been playing with for the better part of 10 years, and while the shape of it has changed immensely in that time, I’m hoping that the heart of it has maintained something of that original thought. HEARTACHE is a story about abuse and mental health, and the very physical impact both can have. It’s a book now, a full story with a beginning and middle and end. It’s a world made from my thoughts, and from my work, and from all of the years of practice I put in prior. It’s something real now, if not physical. That alone is really strange to think about—it’s relief and stress and fear all twined together in one imperfect parcel. I don’t have to hold this thing inside of me anymore—it is sitting, with all of its flaws, on my computer. Now, I just need to make it beautiful.

In May, I also made progress on my non-graphic novel. I wrote over 30,000 words and breached 75,000 words on my manuscript. It’s incredibly far from being finished, but I love seeing that number go up. I’m in the middle-portion of this book, and I’ve run into problems with my plot. I’ve never written long-form prose before, but everyone I’ve talked to has mentioned the first draft being inherently messy. I’m pushing through it slowly, day by day. 1,000 words a day is about what I’ve been able to do consistently. It isn’t as many as most novelists, and it looks dreadfully slow if you look at NANOWRIMO standards, but I’m not trying to write a novel in a month. I’m trying to cultivate a consistent practice—something I’ll be able to build a career out of.

beginning of May VS:

Today! Closer and Closer to a finished draft.

Where I really failed in May, was with my Patreon art. I managed to do my postcard (which will be sent out this week!) But I did not have the wherewithal to draw anything else. It’s a part of the reason I’ve paused payments this month. I’d like to give myself space to make progress on my books without stressing about my Patron goals. Hopefully, it will result in my coming back powerfully in July. This is the first time I’ve had to pause payments, and I have to admit, it is financially very stressful, but I just need that little bit of extra space in June.

IN THE LIFE

This month, I lost a rat. It’s the most difficult part of keeping rats. They’re such intelligent and affectionate creatures but they don’t live very long. Fin was 2.5 years old and was with me from the time he was a baby. He was sweet, and fat, and anxious. I saw him grow from a tiny, angst-ridden bean, to a loving little gremlin. I loved him, and I miss him.

RIP Huckleberry Finn, I’m glad I could give you a good life, and a loving home.

With his death, I’m not going to keep rats again—I don’t have the heart to see another one go. I’ve lost four of them now, and every single one has been a blow. My remaining ratty, Ghost, will stay with me on his own because he’s too old to re-home. It would likely be more stressful to introduce him to new companions than to let him live out the remainder of his life with me. Don’t worry, though, he’s getting lots of treats and attention. While I cannot give him the companionship of another rat, he has my love, and my cuddles.

They weren’t a part of my life for very long, but I’m glad I could give those four rats a loving home. I know that I improved their lives just by being their caretaker, and that’s all I can really ask for.

Outside of the grief of losing a pet, this month I worked—it’s hard right now because I don’t have any real income from what I am putting my time into. I’m in my sowing season. I’m poor, and tired, and working the fertilizer into the soil in hopes that the crops I’m planting will grow bountifully. I have no real evidence that any of this will result in anything, really, but I’m taking a gamble on myself. I believe, that if nothing else, I am good at what I do. I’m a good writer, I’m a decent artist, I’m learning how to tell a good story. All of this should coalesce into something of a stable career, eventually. I’m doing what I love, I’m loving what I do, and I think that will show through.

BUTTON JAR

READING:

-MRS. PEREGRINES HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN—someone left this book on the little free library at my apartment complex, which is usually filled with mostly Norah Roberts and James Patterson, so I was happy to pick it up.

-PRACTICAL MAGIC—I adore this movie and found the book just as wonderful. It’s so fun when you find that the source material lives up to the adaptation.

-THE EMOTIONAL CRAFT OF FICTION—I am taking myself to Fiction Writing School, and this was the first book on my list. I learned a lot! I don’t remember any of it, but I have a physical copy to reference when I feel like my scenes are falling flat.

-WHO OWNS THE CLOUDS by Mario Brassard and Gerard Dubois—sometimes, I run into a graphic novel that makes me remember why I love this medium. This book is small, and delightful.

-FAEBOUND by Saara El-Arifi— this book was not for me, and that’s okay! It has it’s audience, and they love it.

WATCHING:

-I’m still rewatching the x-files please don’t come for me.

-SINNERS! (I think this was this month?) MY GOD THIS MOVIE FUCKS. I don’t watch enough movies, but when I do I want them all to make me grin the entire time in the way that SINNERS did.

LISTENING:

-It’s all background music this month, things I can listen to while writing—so mostly no lyrics, and chill vibes.

-Pastel Ghost

-Sidewalks and Skeletons

-Hermanos Gutierrez

-City Girl

-Portishead-I've loved Portishead since high school.

OUTRO

As June leads from Spring to Summer, I’m really hoping to keep up the momentum I’ve built over the last few months. It takes time to make something, and even longer to hold a tangible object in your hands. Until that day, I’m going to keep doing everything I can to make sure what I make is beautifully conceived. It’s important to focus on the things within our power, and working on that craft is something I’m very invested in at the moment.

Thanks again for reading, and for those of you who have made it through to the end, give me a little book in the comments!

Best wishes, hugs and kisses,

<3 Kelsi Jo