December Ops Beta Test
Added 2020-12-14 21:37:17 +0000 UTCGreetings, Operator. In the next release we're introducing three adventure paths – one for each social class. They each have one nude scene and one sex scene.
Attached is a beta of the working class path, which takes place on the Greek island of Corfu.
Is it sexy? Am I on the right track? What sucks? Please let me know your thots, either here or on Discord.
Comments
Ah great, these are just suggestions - so thanks for your consideration! I think the drowning could work if it happens earlier e.g. before Kate goes to the beach to relax where she meets the Welsh guys. Although time would have passed between the drowning and the end of season party it didn't feel like there was enough distance between getting back in the pool when I was playing through the scenes. The defibrillator thing is a nitpick but it took me out of the scene because the doctor should know that CPR is only intended as a temporary protocol to sustain life until emergency medical services are able to take over (survival rates without a defibrillator are bad, like <10% bad) so I didn't think the doctor would pronounce death before an ambulance arrived. Corfu does apparently have an ambulance service, EKAB, so I would expect that they were called and arrived. Definitely want to see the wet version of the uniform! So my suggestion would be some variation of Kate meeting the drownee's mate but the drownee is only pretending (face down, motionless in the pool) and the ambulance has already been called but when Kate rescues him or drags him out of the pool he's faking it and pulls a cheap move like, drunkenly, 'Hey you're my Baywatch babe, come to save me! Let's mouth-to-mouth!' Same drama next day with the ambulance being called and reps asking what happened, but everybody lives. Lubrication, sorry, that was the worst "I have had The Sex in a hot tub" post ever. It was, however, true. And I think little details you include are hugely immersive. But I was at the time of writing that, and also in the hot tub too, veh, veh drunk.
0.5joker
2020-12-20 23:46:23 +0000 UTCGreat feedback, thanks Joker! I forwarded your compliments to Victoria, our artist :-) Now you mention it, you're *right* about the lubrication-in-the-hot-tub thing. I like your idea about some more girl/girl action in the tub...I'll be taking another pass through the Corfu scene, so I'll keep all your feedback in mind. About the death scene – I pulled it from a holiday rep's memoir I read (including the man being declared dead at the scene – remember this is Corfu in 2010, so defibs may not have been routinely available). I liked it because it was dramatic and memorable (and we also have a wet version of the rep uniform I want to use here :-D ) but yeah maybe tonally the switch from dead person to hot tub is too much. I'll take another look at this, too. Thanks for the detailed feedback, it's really helpful!
Crushstation
2020-12-20 12:10:08 +0000 UTCAh, cool, I get it. Thanks :-)
Crushstation
2020-12-20 12:02:40 +0000 UTCDefinitely heading, and motoring, in the right direction! The geographic and observational details are great, immersive! I like the dice rolls - I think they help explain the RNG aspect of the game, life itself! Not sure where you're going with the holidaymaker drowning in the pool. Unless it's going to be a PTSD-type event later in the story it appears unnecessarily dark. Maybe failing to be able to resuscitate personally and the person goes to hospital with medical complications would suffice for guilt? It's not very sexy to hop into a hot tub after that. I mean... I think you should just cut it. But if you want to go that way I think the protagonist should be more involved... like she spurned his drunken advances earlier... and the doctor would definitely not stop CPR without a defibrillator present. Don't know what you're going for... death by aspiration (via intoxication) is more likely than a Barrymore. But honestly no - this just a tragic set of circumstances as is and feels out of place. Clothing in the avatar is excellent! What a fine artist! I wonder if it's possible to switch the background to a sandy beach / horizon for immersion? Don't know if it's just me but I wonder I think the hot tub could be more exciting if the other couple scooted on over. Not joined in... but the girl offers a lipstick lezzy advance. Also, sex in water can be tricky! Experienced holiday rep would know that water washes away lubrication so you really want to go over the edge of the pool, above water. Maybe in attempt to catch her bikini bottoms. Don't ask me how I know...
0.5joker
2020-12-18 01:07:47 +0000 UTCRe: fantastic scenario Being required to do unmentionable things as an intelligence operative is infinitely more believable than a middle class girl being allowed to take a summer job as a holiday rep in Ibiza with minimal questioning from her parents. I'm just saying.
hornguy6
2020-12-18 00:15:11 +0000 UTCYou give such good feedback, hornguy, thanks. – The smartphone thing was an attempt to give the scene a certain vintage :-D but you're right, it's clunky. Thanks – Two other people have also mentioned the lack of family mentions in the vignette, so I'll bring this out a little in an edit. – When you say it's a fantastic scenario...do you mean the way it's presented, or the idea of working as a holiday rep in itself? (If it's the latter you're going to love when she joins MI6 and gets sent undercover as a hooker hahaha :-D ) – Thanks for the two language edits: I knew those were clunky when I wrote them. Your "no condom" fix is going in verbatim, it's very nice – Noted on the dice, you're not the only one who's not crazy about them
Crushstation
2020-12-16 10:57:31 +0000 UTCAwesome, thanks!
Crushstation
2020-12-16 10:53:52 +0000 UTCThanks you found a bug :-)
Crushstation
2020-12-16 10:53:44 +0000 UTCI liking the direction this is going. Definitely has potential.
Gnu Bahde
2020-12-15 06:13:35 +0000 UTCTyping things as I see them/think them: - I find it kind of unnecessary to specify the model and brand of smartphone in a description. Distracting even. - What do your parents have to say about taking a summer job in Ibiza? Kind of fantastic this whole secnario, don't you think? Even as a work of fiction. - "thrusts his hard, bare cock up inside you." That's a bit of an awkward description. Perhaps consider, "then thrusts his cock inside you. No condom." Makes it more tongue in cheek and feel less forced, at least I think so. - "You pretend not to notice, but suck in your stomach and arch out your boobs as you pretend to look for something in your bag." I'm imagining myself lying on a beach and I'm struggling to imagine how the mechanics of this would even work. How would I suck in my stomach, puff out my chest, AND look for something in my bag at the same time? Sounds very unnatural and weird looking. - Again, not a fan of the 3D dice, I would like an option to turn them off. Especially because of what happened this time where I rolled 6d4 and they all got stuck on each other and I had to wait a long time for one of them to very slowly slide itself off of the other 2 it was up against. You'd think this might be an isolated incident but I rolled a bunch more times after that and found it happened probably once every 4 or 5 rolls.
hornguy6
2020-12-15 06:09:49 +0000 UTCSuper hot, but it seemed like she couldn't take pictures of her topless at the beach even if she was exhibitionist?
Oatmeal
2020-12-15 03:21:37 +0000 UTC
