BEHIND THE SCENES: with Hien Pham!

Last month Hien Pham took us behind the curtain of a Mr. Bear show in his autobiographical comic, To Bear a Title. Today he takes us even further behind the scenes with this guest post! Please enjoy this recap of the real life event and also a bit more insight into how Hien made his comic for us! TAKE IT AWAY, HIEN!

-Erika

Hey everyone!

The focus of this comic wasn't on the art so the art-only pages aren't super interesting, instead, I thought I'd share a recap of my briefly-mentioned first-run at Mr. Bear in 2021! It is... honestly, super embarrassing LMAO because I really was so clueless about the pageant aspect of the competition. I genuinely just wanted to do it to make friends and have fun, both of which I did accomplish, so in retrospect it was a very successful run. Still... I feel like a Drag Race queen on an All Stars season looking back at her first regular season and thinking... "Choices."

First, some fun facts about To Bear A Title:

 The header photo is of me, Mitch, Steward, and Jaxx (who inspired Out Loud and A Fistful of Wonder)

• I sat down with Stewart for a whole interview as well, but had to cut it from the comic entirely... sorry Stu!!!

• At the beginning of the comic, I pictured myself in the dressing room behind the competition stage at Connections Nightclub, which opened in 1975 and is the longest-running gay club in the southern hemisphere!

• I really wanted this comic to be a culmination of my past works on the Bears, so my "Bear experiences" it is lit in a warm yellow glow reminiscent of Thanks For Finding Me Again and Den Nights.

• Meanwhile, the "Title experience" has a more distinct lighting that's meant to evoke an energetic and ethereal vibe, which is also a call-back to the Australian Pups & Handlers Competition and Melbourne's Southern Hibearnation celebration.

• The harness I put on was made by Kal from A Comforting Weight, who also designed and made the Mr. Bear leather sashes!

• The name tag I fiddled with at the very end of the comic is one I got from being on the Bears Perth committee as Secretary!

Now, onto the Mr. Bear 2021 re-cap!

Meet The Contestants / Black-tie Bear

This was the first official event in which the judges (secret to everyone) got to see how us contestants interact and engage with the crowd / community. At this point I had not yet developed, uh, social skills? So I didn't talk to many new people at all... so 0 score for the competition BUT I think this was the night I secured my Mr. Congeniality award.

Up until 2021, the Congeniality award wasn't always handed out. It was a very case-by-case kinda thing, so we weren't made aware of that category even being a possibility. Obviously, because my goal was to make friends, I very... earnestly... handmade for my class of contestants and our mentors personalized thank-you cards to express my gratitude for their guidance and friendships...

I use the word "earnest" a lot when I talk about 2021 because I truly believe it encapsulates that entire experience, haha! By this point I barely had any gay or guy friends at all, so it was all very genuine, which is why the Congeniality title was brought back specifically for that year.

Oh! This event was also where I got my very first kiss 😘

Mr. Bear Comp Round 1: Everyday Bear

For this round, we were asked to wear an outfit that we wear to work or something that we wear every day. I was volunteering at the Dogs' Refuge Home at the time, so I brought a little plushie Blue Heeler on stage with me while wearing my dog-walking gears!

This particular ensemble spoke to my passion and community work which, in theory, sounded good. However, I did set myself up for failure here by first walking out onto the stage on my own before beckoning the Blue Heeler plushie to come out after me. This, in retrospect, set an expectation for the audience that there could have been a real dog I was bringing out! But it turned out to be a fake dog I had to walk off-stage to bring out in my arms!!!

Overall, it was cute, but wasn't super interesting I don't think. I took the prompt very literal and didn't do anything super exciting.

Mr. Bear Comp Round 2: Bear Essentials

Ok... y'all... I really hated what I did for this round LMAO I really don't want to show the photos because I took the prompt very literal AGAIN and just basically wore a pair of white briefs that were super boring and not flattering AT ALL!!!

Now, I do want to give myself some credit here, because I did change things up a bit: I let my hair down and wore a flower crown, I also had a sheer shirt around my waist that acted as a fun little reveal... HOWEVER I did NOT know how to walk or how to model so I genuinely... just didn't look very good on stage...

OMG and I made this flower crown with MASKING TAPE??? So when I turned around on stage it just looked so rough and unpolished... There's a certain charm to DIY things - and boy I'm leaning heavy on that this year - but it was just so sketchy and not ideal... Please don't even get me started on the random Bear rubber bracelets...

Funnily enough I'm also doing a reveal this year, but I'm putting heaps more thoughts into how I walk and how to best present my ensemble on stage. Hopefully I can even get away with rolling around on the floor for a little bit... We'll see!

Mr. Bear Comp Round 3: Fantasy Performance

In this round, we were tasked to deliver a "fantasy" performance on the stage - performances that were and had always been expected to be sexual in nature.

At the time, I have had uh let's see literally zero sexual experience and zero interest in sexual things - I felt very comfortable on the Ace spectrum then - so I finally, finally took a creative approach to the prompt: I delivered a presentation titled "A Tour Through The Historical Landmarks Of My Body."

I spoke about my journey with body image, body-positivity, and mental health. About how I was taught to make myself as small as possible, but now find beauty in my stretchmarks. I told a story about the spots on my body and how drawing them the same way I drew stars in the night sky helped me realize those blemishes were simply marks of my survival.

There were times when I thought finding a community who saw me the way I couldn't dare see myself was impossible. So, being on that stage with friendly faces in the crowd, having the competition and having acceptance and love to look forward to was my fantasy. It was a fantasy and a wish that I got to live, and it changed my life. 

 My performance (which you can watch here) resonated with a lot of people. It became the thing I was known for not just within the Bears but also by people from other communities who came and watched the competition. It also changed the structure of the Mr. Bear competition for good, as the category has since been changed from "Fantasy" to "Let Your Light Shine." - a much more open-ended prompt that encouraged a wider variety of performances as opposed to simply expecting sexual fantasies to be enacted on the stage.

In the end, despite not being sashed as a new titleholder, I accomplished my goals, won the hearts of many new friends, and opened the doors to a community that I would eventually call home.

 Looking forward, to Mr. Bear 2024

This year, I'm out for blood!!!

I've explored my motivation for competing again in my latest OJST comic, and I am aiming to pitch another Mr. Bear comic about the new outfits, new performance, and the thoughts that went into every single category! Which is to say: I don't want to spoil too much, and I hope you'll look forward to reading all about my 2nd shot at the title!

I'm in it to win it, and there is simply no one who can stand between me and the sash! Well, between me and the sash are actually a bunch of incredibly lovely people whom I already have the privilege to call friends. All of us make for an incredibly congenial class, and we're all excited to see each other shine on the stage!

They're still going down though.

 Thank you for reading!

As always, thank you for your support, everyone! I know this was a bit of a different behind-the-scene post, but I hope it was an enjoyable entry nonetheless! The competition is THIS WEEK if you can believe it!!!! My entire focus will be on it for a while, and I'll definitely let you all know how I go!

Until then, please take care and take it easy, everyone! I'll see you soon!