The Empire Returns Chapter 23

Grisha felt his knees grow weak as he gazed upon the corpse in front of him. His sister was always so cheerful, so kind, so innocent, and seeing what those Marleyans did to her was enough to suck the air from his lungs.

They'd been right there just yesterday, him and Faye wanted to go see the airship, but it was landing outside of the internment zone, seeing something so wonderful be separated from him by just a concrete wall was unacceptable to him, it made sense at the time, all he had to do was grab Faye's hand and walk past those guards. Easy peasy. But... what did they do Faye?

They just wanted to see the air ship, but look how she ended up, her right eye socket was nothing but a mess of blood and puss, her arm was gone, nothing but a severed hand lied right next to her, and the skin her face was torn to shreds.

Tears built up in his green eyes as his legs finally gave out and he began to sob uncontrollably. His sister was gone, they killed her, those Marleyans killed her! 

For some reason a hot feeling rose up inside of him and his heart seemed to burn with a feeling he'd never felt before. He didn't know what it was, rage? hatred? sadness? a mix of them all? He'd never felt like this before, but he needed revenge, he wanted to kill those Marleyans, he wanted to make them pay, he had to have his revenge.

He stared out into the Marleyan part of Liberio and noticed how luxurious all of those houses looked, he bet that they were all built by Eldians yet all those Marleyans got to enjoy all of the hard work that they were doing for them, if he were born Marleyan would he be as awful as them? 

He hated them, he wanted to exterminate them-

He wanted to kill them al-

----------------------

My eyes felt heavy and my thoughts unstable as I awoke from the deviant feeling that experiencing the memories of the previous holders always gave me, I wiped my face ruggedly in order to clear all the sweat I seem to have gathered over my face.

Unfortunately this act didn't seem to go unnoticed by Mikasa, who was sleeping right next to me, honestly, it feels like that woman just knows whenever I'm in distress. Then again I guess she kind of does.

Mikasa saw the large amount of sweat that I seemed to have gathered from my nightmare and her expression morphed into one of concern, but after a moment she shook her head and she looked at me with... understanding.

She took my hand in her own and asked very carefully." What happened Eren? Did you have a nightmare, or was it something else?" She then took her hand and brushed it against my cheek, she then removed it to reveal that there was... water on her hand?

Oh, it looks like I was crying.

I momentarily considered for a moment what I should do, should I be honest and open up, or should I hide my feelings and try and 'be a man' not worry my girlfriend... well that ship has kind of sailed hasn't it? I cried in front of her just earlier last night my pride can take another hit.

Might as well be honest with her.

I sat up in our shared sleeping bag and sighed for a moment as I wiped my tears away and I looked away for a moment before just telling her." I saw my fathers memories."

At those words Mikasa didn't really know how to respond, so she just said." I see. What was it like?"

I turned back to her and gazed into those pretty eyes of hers, people always say that my eyes are very vibrant, but I think I like hers more, they're a dark grey with hints of charcoal blue inside, maybe it's an Ackerman thing to have mixed eye colours, I'm relatively certain that Levi has similar eyes to her, but regardless    they by far outshine my own, but maybe I'm biased.

After a few seconds of silence I responded." Terrible, I saw his memories of Marley... and saw my aunts dead body." I confessed to her and allowed some vulnerability to shine through as Grisha's thoughts and emotions in that moment seemed to flood into me.

Being a Titan Shifter really is a curse, because at the end of the day you aren't a regular human, and thus can't be treated as one, even if the Scouts haven't locked me up like a dog they may very well do eventually, and the worst part is that I can't blame them for their distrust since I'd likely do the same if I were in their shoes. But, your sense of self can also become very loose and uncertain at times, whenever I wake up from these dreams I always need to take a moment just to find out where I am- and who am- there are more people than Grisha and Kruger in my head, I've seen so many over these last few years that it can overwhelm me at times. 

At times I really hate Grisha for what he did to me, I hate him for shortening my life span, I hate him for leaving me to deal with this shit alone, and I hate him for haunting my memories like this.

But, you know what I hate even more than all of that combined, I really hate... that I can't really hate him. His life was miserable for the most part, he made a lot of mistakes, he was flawed, but who isn't? I can't bring myself to hate him for trying to carve himself that small chunk of happiness in this shitty world.

Grisha did the best he could with the hand he was dealt, but that won't stop me from feeling bitter that he doomed his son to die before he reached thirty.

Mikasa heard that I had an ant and she looked mildly surprised by that." You have an aunt?"

"Had an aunt, she was ripped apart by dogs when she was eight, she was fed to those things for sport, for entertainment. She also died because my father took her out of the internment zone." 

At the description of her death Mikasa looked disturbed and slightly horrified." That's..." She trailed off, not knowing how to respond or what to say to that information.

I took in a deep breath to stabilise myself and then suddenly asked Mikasa." Do you think that Marley and the rest of the world will always hate us? Is there any chance that this can end... without one of us dying?" 

Truth be told I was uncertain about what I wanted to do with my powers, I've already seen what the world would do if we tried to search for peace, and for as horribly as Marley treats other Eldians they are actually treated far worst abroad, they somehow find a way to truly treat us as though we were devils. Just from that alone I can tell that most outside nations won't be willing to side with us, and if they do it will purely be for our resources, so it's entirely up to us Eldians to fend for ourselves. But, will it really be enough? Even if we can amass power just what is that in the face of millions of soldiers coming down on us all at once?

Hearing my words Mikasa seemed to frown, she didn't look like she really knew how to answer that question, so she just responded with something vague." We won't know unless we try, until then we should look for all our options."

I was unsatisfied with that answer. For as much as I hate the outside world does that mean that I should just wipe them out before they wipe me out? Should I throw away everything for this place, or try and find happiness with the people I love, even if I'm risking this islands safety.

Regardless, even if I do everything right, I have eight years left. I want to do something meaningful with the time I have left.

So, in that moment I decided to throw caution to the wind and once again asked Mikasa a very important question as I took her in my arms." Mikasa?"

She hummed as a sign that she was listening, I took a short second to savour the smell of her hair, lavender, as I mustered up the courage to ask." Can we start a family together?"

At those words Mikasa instantly pulled away so she could stare me in the eyes, she was clearly very surprised by my words, if her wide eyes were anything to go by, but she didn't react negatively, I took note of that.

She then blushed as my words sank in for her and she asked quietly." What do you mean, Eren?" Her expression morphed slightly at the subject that we were discussing, she was clearly embarrassed by what we were discussing, but this was a conversation that I felt we needed to have, so I continued despite this.

"I mean that we could, possibly, start a family once the Warriors have been beaten, I know that we're both young, and you don't have to do anything your not ready for, but even if I do everything right I only have eight years left, and it might sound silly... but I've wanted to start a family with you for a long time, I want to make the most out of the time I have left."

At my words Mikasa's embarrassment seemed to fade slightly, as she realized where this was coming from. She had to admit that she'd thought of the possibility of starting a family with Eren numerous times, but this was always hypothetical, and hearing him spell it out for her like this was tough for her to talk about. But, she had to be brave and tell Eren how she really felt, and to find out what he was thinking.

In her future she always pictured that her and Eren would live out in the forest, she would fantasise that they would have a cabin, three or four children, and they'd live a similar life to the one that she lived with her parents, a quiet and simple life. But, they were now in a relationship with both Historia and Ymir, and that made things marginally more complicated, them all living together was a bit impossible if Historia became Queen, and Mikasa has no doubt that Ymir would stick with the blonde wherever she went, so if they did retake Wall Maria... would it still just be the two of them? Just her and Eren, even with two more people in their relationship? That didn't sit quite right with Mikasa.

"What about Historia and Ymir? Where would they fit into this?" 

She will admit to herself that on some level being the only one who lived with Eren and interacted with him on a daily basis was appealing to her, yet it wouldn't be right, whilst her relationship with Ymir and Historia might not be quite on the same level as that with Eren, she still deeply cared for those two as her girlfriends, it wouldn't be right to exclude them.

Eren responded to her almost instantly." Ideally it would be all of us living together, but... I really don't know if that's what they want. I love all of you, so we should all have equal say in where we head with this. I won't decide for them."

Mikasa merely nodded at that. It was only fair to hear them out.

There's also another topic which they should really discuss. 

"Will we tell our friends about our... relationship?"

Truth be told Mikasa didn't mind whether the nature of their relationship was private or told to their friends, she never cared much about the opinions of others or if they judged her, in fact she'd even go as far as to say that she would prefer it if their relationship was kept to a purely private affair, but this wasn't just up to her, she had to consider the feelings of the others.

Eren heard this and seemed... well not displeased but thoughtful. He then settled for responding with." We don't have to do anything that we don't want to, if we let them know then they'll know, if not then we keep it to ourselves. I'm not ashamed of what we are, so if they want to tell the others then that's fine."

Mikasa was satisfied with his answer, she smiled at him and said." You should get back to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow."

He responded with a sad smile of his own." yeah, you're right." He brushed his lip against her cheek and gave her a peck on the cheek as a way of saying goodnight.

He then nestled into their sleeping bag on the hard wooden floor before he allowed himself to fall asleep. Mikasa saw this and smiled at the sight of the man she loves being at peace for once.

There are times when she hates that she fell in love with Eren so deeply, he's headstrong, stubborn, selfless, and much too passionate for his own good. But, for every one of his faults, he is a good person, at least in her mind. He cares about her so much that she practically had to nag his ear off just to get herself by his side for this mission, he wants to give this island a future so badly that he's accepted his tragically short lifespan, and he's willing to risk his own life to stop Reiner and Bertolt.

She watched him drift away into slumber as she tried to go back to sleep, despite one thought weighing heavily on her mind.

Does she want to start a family with Eren?