Five motivational slogans that will make absolutely no difference to your executive dysfunction

Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock

Here at The Daily Tism, we know how hard it can be to get your shit together. That’s why we have absolutely no idea how to help - but we do have these five quotes that are supposed to help you get your important life admin done but definitely won’t.

“It always seems impossible until it’s all done” - Nelson Mandela 

Step one: the seemingly impossible task of paying all your bills. 

Step two: ?????? 

Step three: It’s all done. 

You’re welcome. 

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett 

As Samuel Beckett said, keep trying and failing. Try and fail and fail again until your dishes are piled so high in the sink, you can declare them a national monument and charge an entry fee to see them.

“Quality is not an act, it is a habit.” - Aristotle

We’re not sure what that one means or how it’s supposed to help you book a GP appointment but just to be safe, you should probably eat a whole tin of Quality Street.

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” - Lao Tzu

This is very nice advice but unfortunately will not force you to take a single step off the sofa until the difficult things are easy. We’re sure this will happen any day now.

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” - Walt Disney 

Your last dream was about being a helium balloon that floated off into space where a giant turkey that was cooked but somehow still alive tried to reach you algebra but you hadn’t studied and you failed his test, causing him to squirt ink all over you like a squid defending its territory but the ink tasted like lemon sherbet so it was actually quite nice. 

Having said that - you can do it!