Update: To Avoid Spinning Wheels, Don't Drive in Deep Mud

Hello everyone. I hope you're all doing well.

Cutting right to the point, I think I've been making some bad and unhealthy decisions that have been contributing to the poor health and output of myself.

I have been trying to wrestle with Doom The Dark Ages for a video project, but a lot of factors have resulted in me thinking this isn't a good idea right now, for myself and in general. It was turning out too big for a start, and while I believed it necessary to explore the wider context of the game and how I felt, it meant I was going to be at the project for far too long in its current form. This would have opened up other problems such as the fact the game is receiving some significant rebalances here and there and I don't know where that will leave me. Some seem to address complaints I have, others sound like they'll make it worse. It might be best to wait then. Plus it's been a controversial game amidst some of its fanbase and I've seen people just outright screaming at each other about it online. Making a video of my own felt like stepping into that, or maybe more becoming at the mercy of it. I don't want anything I make to just seem like I'm taking a side in a pointless flame war. So probably best to wait for the game and it's audience to settle down a bit.

That said I recognise that these problems are definitely exacerbated by my own poor mental health that I've talked about in previous entries. It's harder to stand with a large project if I don't believe in myself and what I'm doing, and there is definitely a pattern emerging that ought to be addressed before we end up repeating ourselves forever here.

So let's strip things back. I'm going to a smaller project and just reviewing and talking about a game I like. Keep things simple.

The game is a short horror game from last year called Life Eater. It's a flawed game with a cool premise and much things to talk about with its vibe and story. It hasn't received much attention but I want to highlight what it does and does right that makes it unique.

This is what's worked well for me before. Hopefully it can be the first step into building myself up into the other projects that I haven't felt like I've been able to do lately. I already have most of the script written for it and am confident to get it out this month.

I should say House of Leaves work continues in the background. I may have been premature in announcing it in retrospect as I now have a somewhat extensive reading list of additional materials, and another reading will definitely be necessary when we come to time of full production. The one advantage this has over the Doom video above is that I have been at peace that this will be done when it's done from the outset. I'm not letting any stress touch that and instead am allowing it to grow organically.

I also have an additional small-ish project related to the House of Leaves work. I don't want to talk about it too much at the moment, but that one will be book-related should it work out. We'll make that crossing when we come to it. It would be nice for one of these book-related projects to not spiral, and this one at least could do that.

Thank you to all of you for your patience and your support. If the video on Life Eater doesn't pan out then I'll likely pause payments for August again. I'll try to keep you in touch with how things go.

As always, stay safe.

- Jack