PATREON EXCLUSIVE (Full Video): No one cares and that is freeing
Added 2024-07-12 23:00:01 +0000 UTC
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I have a little eight year-old girl , my daughter who lives with me half the time. The other half she lives with her mom, who has NPD. I cannot totally live for myself, but have to live for her, because she really needs me, because of where she lives when she's not with me. Ex is doing fine with her current husband. She got with shortly before dumping me, but she has kicked out all of her children. She will probably eventually kick out the eight year old, when she becomes a teenager. My 21 year old stepson also lives with me after being kicked out at age 17. my self-esteem is shit, despite having an advanced degree in psychology. Much of that due to her mother's behavior when she discarded me. Like the other men, I am totally alone. I gave her all the money at discard to get that 50% custody of my daughter, but I am 65 years old and have no retirement.. Like I said, I am totally alone, but I do have my health, and the ability to work hopefully until I'm 75. talk about hopelessness. I feel it fully, but I have to be there for my daughter. I have a good job, no retirement, live on a railroad track, and I'm saving my money the best I can. I have been confident in the past, and need to figure out a way to be confident now.
warren beane
2024-11-16 21:45:55 +0000 UTC@RhodiumMaiden - I only just saw this -- it may be useful to click the "like" on any comments so that the commenter can receive an explicit notification of your reply: Patreon does not appear to do a very good job of facilitating interactions. On your comment: I think perhaps we may be misunderstanding each other -- my last response was referring primarilly to the expanded defintions of "abuse" by males as reported by females, not the other way round. The "discomfort" of females relates to how women interpret "abuse" (and by WHOM). As you say, I too HIGHLY doubt that you "traumatized [normal] men by briefly touching their arm once" (or even MULTIPLE times). However, as unsolicited touching (and even MORE so, "twerking") is such a rare occurance when conducted by a "strange" woman (one to whom he has only just met), I said the man could EASILY become "suspicious of the quality" but NOT "unappreciative of the behavior". Fortunately, as you well know, it does not take the average man under such circumstances to "forgive her transgressions" 😉😉, and even quickly be tempted to re-evaluate her "quality" if her GENUINE interest in forming a romantic relationship with him (rather than a simple "hook-up") is perceived. Does this make sense?
Joseph Omega
2024-10-24 19:12:12 +0000 UTCI can't agree more on the title, it is FREEING to no longer expect help from the outside because even soul-mates can betray or abandon you on the spot when something bad happens. Some peoples just can't bare to relate to the pain. That feeling of abandonment can also happen toward the God-Source itself in a world losing it's humanity. If it's not narcissism , it's the ego centrism, or too much trauma that can prevent peoples to be supportive to one another. Also the topic of the video reminds me of that story of the lady who wanted to try being a man for a social experiment and once she tasted the men loneliness ended up traumatized.
ATH-YF
2024-08-07 09:52:42 +0000 UTC@Joseph I doubt I’ve traumatised men by briefly touching their arm once. And I’m not sure what female discomfort has to do with anything? Do you want women to show obvious interest or not?
RhodiumMaiden
2024-08-02 23:27:41 +0000 UTC@RhodiumMaiden - True, but it is my point that this difference has been irrevocably blurred by the ambiguity of your gender's propensity to inflate all female discomforts to the same level of severity, and hence group all your unsolicited "touching" together. Unfortunate, but true.
Joseph Omega
2024-08-01 20:09:02 +0000 UTC@Joseph There is a huge difference between twerking on a stranger in a club - which I have never done in my life - and touching a man’s arm on a date.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-08-01 19:48:50 +0000 UTC@E C - Rape certainly qualifies as "abuse", but its conflation with all the other types of "female discomfort" seems tremendously disingenuous. I'm not sure the extent to which females are aware or even CARE about the dangers of this ambiguity. Another danger is the conflation of "children" with "grown women" in an apparent attempt to "group victimhoods". PS. It could easily be said that one of the working characteristics of "female toxicity" is this trait of carelessness or deliberate intent among women to promote such ambiguities.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-25 19:55:24 +0000 UTC@RhodiumMaiden - Unless I misunderstand, many "low-quality" woman would ALSO display rather UNAMBIGUOUS signs of sexual interest. Isn't "twerking" on someone such an example. I think most men would be somewhat naturally suspicious of the "quality" of a woman who suddenly became "touchy" without provocation. Recall I said "suspicious of the quality" and not "unappreciative of the behavior". Again, to men, there TWO types of women ...
Joseph Omega
2024-07-25 19:41:08 +0000 UTCAgreed. AG has helped me to understand so much particularly about myself and other women. He is one of the best content creators, if not THE best, imo.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-07-19 19:54:11 +0000 UTCInteresting I had this very talk with someone last night. This guy is building a transmission for my motorhome and I have had several 2-3 hour deep philosphical discussions with him. Never met him just talking on the phone. You never know where you find a stranger who can be your biggest soulmate, advocate. Conversely people can drop you just like that. I had friends in high school and we probably spent thousands of hours hanging out, playing computer games, whatever, and as soon as you're out of sight you're out of mind. I figure "well we have email right". I email and they never respond. Ohwell, you move on. I saw this meme once of a group of teenage friends with the caption something like "One day was the last day you ever hung out together, and you didn't even know it". So true! Last December we went camping and I ran into a group of ~30's men and they said they've been doing annual camping trips since high school to keep their friendships alive. That's so cool.
castirondude
2024-07-19 14:29:11 +0000 UTCThank you! It took me quite a while to turn things around in my life. I feel confident with Alexander's help many people will be able to turn their lives around and do it much faster.
castirondude
2024-07-19 14:09:48 +0000 UTC@Joseph A high-quality woman will give obvious signals and few or no mixed signals. But you may need to learn how to read those signals if you don’t have much experience. I don’t need to be asked if intimacy can proceed & agree with @EC. But I also have no trouble initiating and being touchy with men I’m interested in.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-07-19 13:11:40 +0000 UTCAs a woman I also don’t find therapy useful, but then I effectively engage in self-therapy by talking to various people. It is very important for me to be able to talk about my issues but at the same time I also really need accomplishments & action so in this regard I feel I can relate to both genders.
RhodiumMaiden
2024-07-19 13:04:26 +0000 UTCSo glad to hear your success story, congrats!
RhodiumMaiden
2024-07-19 12:53:13 +0000 UTC@E C - Who are the "real victims"? When even the CONCEPT has to be initialized (as "SA") to avoid offending such "delicate flowers" in the Matriarchal garden, how can any clarity of understanding EVER have the opportunity to blossom?
Joseph Omega
2024-07-17 05:34:25 +0000 UTC"SA", like "abuse" and "harassment" have come to include a VAST array of female "discomforts", so that the rare SERIOUS events have been drowned in a sea of generic victimized tears.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-17 04:18:56 +0000 UTC@E C - Though hopefully they MAY come back, the days of "just kissing the woman" with impunity are LONG gone -- Feminism reaps what it sows: It DID have it coming since #MeToo rose to ascendency. Yes, you guys DO seem unduly complicated.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-17 03:50:47 +0000 UTCFemale "signals" are NOTORIOUSLY difficult for normal men to read. That women think otherwise only illustrates the degree to which men and women think differently. Women are also notorious for giving "mixed signals", sometimes unintentionally, but at many other times as a type of TEST of a man's patience, persistence and resilience -- very often this test is administered "subconsciously" as part of their evolutionary adaptation to filter out cads and charlatans. In many other cases, a woman may even GASLIGHT you into doubting your own competence or intelligence by suggesting that it is YOUR fault you missed or misread the "signs". As @E C implied, #MeToo has just made the confusion worse. As @MB suggested, just get WELL within her "personal space" (repeatedly if need be) -- if she does not automatically pull back, she is far more likely than not EXPECTING to be kissed. Often even deciding to NOT kiss at that moment may actually INCREASE her desire for you to do so. Bottom line: The answer is "yes" it IS a "sign of weakness", but a SOCIETAL one, so not one under your direct control or responsibility. The Matriarchy's PRIME focus is on prioritizing "safety and security" over ALL other things, INCLUDING the ("toxic"?) masculine instincts for risk-taking and assertiveness needed for those very same "unsolicited" kisses that many women ironically seem to crave.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-17 02:16:01 +0000 UTCYeah my favorite clips are when the women are rational, intelligent, supportive. Loved this one as well!
Matt Scoggins
2024-07-16 22:54:49 +0000 UTCA woman who wishes to be kissed by the man before her will give subtle signs - holding eye contact, touching you/ brushing against you, touching her own hair/ face etc. The best way to test the water is to subtlety increase her opportunities touch you e.g. offer your arm to her while you walk beside eachother. Your opportunity must start with being in close proximity e.g. sat beside eachother... or stood together in a private location e.g. Sharing a scenic view together. I recommend you reach out to hold her face in one of your hands before going for the kiss... she let you know if she doesn't want you to proceed. You can always just look into her eyes and assertively state 'I find you very attractive; I would like to kiss you.' Good fortune, brother.
MB
2024-07-16 17:29:05 +0000 UTCIs it a sign of weakness to ask permission to kiss? Or should you ask to be on the safe side?
RJ Mamula
2024-07-16 01:16:48 +0000 UTCThe „who do you call clip“ its hard to watch every time the „black doll“ video also hit HARD
Peter
2024-07-15 10:49:48 +0000 UTCIts unfortunate how formative your childhood is. By the time you get to school… Alot of the path has set. Getting of that paths need introspection and recognition and desire before there can even be thoughts of action Like loosing weight Do you actually want to loose it? No judgment. But is the reason your own choice? Or a doctor? A nagging wife? Society? Would you still want it if you weren’t being judged… And most people i suspect… its not really their own choice. And that choice some at the end of thongs like introspection and recognition Without it. Its just an imposed thing you don’t really actually want. A burden. A thing requiing you to have determination A finite resource. Intrinsic desire It hardly ever runs out
Peter
2024-07-15 10:44:00 +0000 UTCThe school of life had a recent video about „loveliest people in the world „ they are the ones who not as MEAN as to cheer you up. Unrelated tidbit adjacent to people not caring. Which is by no way saying tje lovely people don’t care. But they don’t judge you or it. They care. About you. Not so much the rest
Peter
2024-07-15 10:23:14 +0000 UTCThat incident when I was 17 involved another person, female, who had the same exact issue. A man, a mentor to both of us, backed her up and supported her, but threw me under the bus. I was devastated. Sure, I did have the support of my family later on, but they weren’t there at the time. Later in life your family is even further away. And even in a family, our sisters are treated differently. They are affirmed, while boys are expected to be tougher. Pepito. We deserve support. You are right about that. But the culture doesn’t give it to us. It’s not fair. It’s just the way it is.
Eric Linden
2024-07-15 02:53:57 +0000 UTC@Pepito Sbezzeguti - But I think it DOES make you less masculine to actively crave or depend upon it.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-15 01:19:30 +0000 UTCJust my thoughts on this topic - there is a biological aspect to it: men are more replaceble in terms of the biologcal fertility - that gives us the freedom to experiment and risk failure. I think that these are important aspects to beeing a man: freedom, experiment and risk, share insights, and coping with failure - someone needs to determine what matters in life. If its not you and I who is it? To get to the bottom of this you need some beeing on your own. Or we follow some whatsoever. Fundamental spiritual work. - take into account of men in the military and in industrial production. As warfare and production technologies changed in the last centuries so changed what was valued in people. I guess the industrial production thing took its toll on women too. When I did my military service it was kind of friendly and kind of repectful but astthe same time what was respected was me offering my bodily existence to warfare. So what I'm asking: To what extend is the devaluation of personal aims and contributions a century long process and what is the role of recent developments?
Michael Rumpelt
2024-07-14 10:43:17 +0000 UTCAs I understand it, there are two ways to feeling strong: feeling good or feeling angry. Feeling angry involves a powerful emotion that can be a block to reality. This has its pitfalls. Not being in touch with reality limits personal growth; it makes us susceptible to getting hooked into meeting dysfunctional challenges; and it makes us susceptible to compulsively feeling sorry for ourselves. Feeling good involves sharing hard feelings from past traumas. Therapy plays a positive part in this activity. My understanding of the Hero Circle is it follows this path of feeling strong by feeling good. It creates opportunities for growth and leveling up by funneling energy and focus towards self improvement plus building and creating.
Mark Bryski
2024-07-14 10:16:29 +0000 UTCSelf reliance. Definitely a male thing. If you drop a man in the middle of the jungle, he is much more likely to survive than a woman. Is it nature or nurture? I think nature to start out. Then nurture pushes it even further. And today’s culture pushes it too far.
Eric Linden
2024-07-14 05:28:06 +0000 UTC@Pepito Sbezzeguti - Each "all alone" with their responsibilities I mean -- we are where "the buck stops". We certainly can, each of us, be "alone" in a group. One is ALONE on a "vison quest" as a "rite of passage" for males: https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/vision-quest The way I understand it, such "rites of passage" are ubiquitous in SOME fashion historically across all cultures. From SOLITARY "walkabouts" in Australia to "hazings" in American colleges, and always organized and "supported" by a GROUP of older males in the "tribe". I know of no such comparable organized practice among women -- of course they begin menstruating, undergo pregnancy, labour and finally menopause as individuals of course, but RARELY alone.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-14 03:00:55 +0000 UTCI see where you're coming from, but you can't dismiss the support men receive from their larger family. Evolutionarily speaking we evolved in tribes is my understanding, which where similar to clans, or families. I am not sure where the idea that men evolved to be alone comes from.
Pepito Sbezzeguti
2024-07-14 02:02:41 +0000 UTC@Pepito Sbezzeguti & @Eric Linden - I guess appreciation COULD be INTERPRETED as a type of support, but not categorically. Women and others can SHOW appreciation, but ultimately men are all alone, almost by definition. This is by evolutionary design.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-14 00:28:04 +0000 UTCYou’re right. Men aren’t there for other men emotionally. There is a comradery among men, but they don’t share feelings with each other. The exception is a group that is specifically designed for that purpose like Heroes Circle. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, I’m not sure if men have ever shared feelings or emotions with each other. Perhaps they did in families.
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 23:04:50 +0000 UTCI agree. My 2nd favourite YouTuber charges more, but simply puts up audio versions of his YouTube videos here. AG gives us our money’s worth.
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 19:43:45 +0000 UTCBeware thinking people have your back. I found out during my first divorce that some people I thought would be there for me were not; and some mere acquaintances were very supportive. Many of us have had a time when we “find out who our real friends are.”
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 15:17:49 +0000 UTCCope. Sorry to be blunt but it is cope. You deserve support, man. It doesn't make you less masculine to have support.
Pepito Sbezzeguti
2024-07-13 15:14:31 +0000 UTCI don't know what you mean exactly by "vision quest" and solitary, but I know how it feels to be an appreciated member of a multi-generational family. ... If I'd guess what you mean by "visionary quest"; one can go on a quest while knowing they are supported "back at home", have a "safe place" to go back to, which is exactly what motivates men. Proving my point.
Pepito Sbezzeguti
2024-07-13 14:57:54 +0000 UTCI think you’re partially right. The dissolution of the family has eliminated the most important support system men had. However, women have always been the social ones, and men have always been more solitary. The vision quest has always been a male thing.
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 14:54:33 +0000 UTCThis video is all upside down, even Christine saying 'nobody is coming to help you, be a man and help yourself', such bullshit, of course there is help, families are supposed to help and support men. In other countries I lived in this still happens believe it or not. Smells like internalized feminism boys and girls, don't let them convince you, there is a social structure that helped boys become men for thousands of years, it's family. They took it from you. The fact that men in the US have fewer or no close friends, compare it to other countries. It's not normal, man.
Pepito Sbezzeguti
2024-07-13 14:46:44 +0000 UTC"No one cares and that is freeing", it's cope man. In other countries men don't feel that way, they are supported by their families and loved ones, and that gives meaning to their lives. "No one cares" is not freeing, it's lonely. And it has nothing to do with confidence, you can have confidence with or without being alone. The root is that in this society they have managed to brake the Family concept, it's not normal how you feel alone and unsupported as a man.
Pepito Sbezzeguti
2024-07-13 14:34:20 +0000 UTCTotally agree. Talk therapy, started by Sigmund Freud, really doesn’t work well with men. A coach, like you said, or one of AG’s groups, can give you a start or a kick in the butt, but for men action and dealing with things internally pushes us forward in life. It doesn’t seem compassionate or fair, but it’s how we have evolved differently from women. For a woman, a walk with someone may be just what she needs to move on. For a man, a long walk alone is sometimes better.
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 14:18:40 +0000 UTCFirst of all, there are two women who I can call on when I need help. When I started watching Alexander’s videos 17 months ago, just one. Three years ago, none. I see this as progress. And yes, this was earned by being competent. As for men, it seems like most of the men I know in my community are only interested in getting together to “shoot the shit” over a beer. It is rare for anything else to come of it. On one hand, it is nice to have the connection. But on the other hand, it feels like empty calories. I believe Alexander is a pioneer when it comes to men being there for other men in a healthy way.
Mark Bryski
2024-07-13 12:58:28 +0000 UTCBY FAR the MOST impactful clip for me was the one where the woman ("boat") is patiently, yet persistently cultivating and building up her man ("island"). Even if staged, THIS is the agency and responsibility that women need to face up to in the face of their blind, mindless and ultimately self-defeating HYPERGAMY. They should not so casually be let off the hook of ALL responsibility in the development of a relationship. You would THINK Feminsim would have come to this "empowering" conclusion all on their own.
Joseph Omega
2024-07-13 07:07:34 +0000 UTCAh. Thanks for the correction. 🙏
Joseph Omega
2024-07-13 06:54:36 +0000 UTCModern psychotherapy is tailored to the needs of women, not men. A man gets no reprieve from simply talking about his problems; he gets his reprieve through the resolve to confront and overcome them. The best prescription for men when it comes to the state of doldrums, grievance, or inadequacy, is action. The consistent and disciplined act of repeatedly accomplishing something, however small or insignificant, is that which ultimately leads to the triumph of high achievement, which, for men, is the true remedy to his malady. Accomplishments lead to competence, which manifests as confidence. Instead of seeking out a therapist, seek out a performance coach instead.
Hyperion
2024-07-13 05:57:53 +0000 UTCIt really hit me when I was 17 years old that there was nobody. I had to man up. I actually had to at a much younger age, but didn’t realize it. It’s engrained in the culture. It makes men stronger. It makes us masculine.
Eric Linden
2024-07-13 05:23:40 +0000 UTCYea, I didn't have anyone to call either. What I did is , well, on the other end of the spectrum really. I got a job on the other side of the planet where I didn't know anyone. Just be completely and utterly self-reliant. Did a lot of traveling alone. After some time your brain accepts that having nobody (specific) to rely on is ok. You can be dropped anywhere with nothing and you will manage. That breaks the feedback loop. Then you can walk up to a woman and if she doesn't like you or rejects you it doesn't really phase you because being rejected and alone is a place you're familiar and comfortable with. That's when you can start practicing your social skills. Just go to random parties and hang out and see what sticks. Doing it the way I did it is very time consuming, there may be better ways that are faster, but it will still take time.
castirondude
2024-07-13 02:51:11 +0000 UTCThe self esteem issue certainly was one of my battles. I had a very dominant controlling and mentally unstable mother. You could say something one day and even if it was just a basic truth (and she really rubs in that you should ALWAYS speak the truth) but she feels (whatever that means) that it was inappropriate , she wouldn't say anything until months later , blindsiding you . Eventually you just shut down and don't dare to say anything anymore. Then as an adult you get stuck in a positive feedback loop where you're not confident because women don't like you because you're not confident. Alas I was able to break the cycle and all is well now. My kids are night and day. Here in our house we speak the truth, plain and simple. Like you said it's not a matter of being cocky/arrogant. It's a matter of stating the facts. If you want something and state that, you're just stating the fact that that's what you want.
castirondude
2024-07-13 02:24:03 +0000 UTCAlexander I like it that you're active on here. The majority of Patreon / Locals folks I subscribe to are rarely posting. I recently scrubbed a bunch of my subscriptions to folks that hadn't posted in years.
castirondude
2024-07-13 02:07:21 +0000 UTCNbd, thanks for responding!
Kevin Pereira
2024-07-13 01:49:15 +0000 UTCApologies, honest mistake, forgot to take it out.
Alexander Grace
2024-07-13 00:34:58 +0000 UTCApologies, honest mistake, forgot to take it out.
Alexander Grace
2024-07-13 00:34:50 +0000 UTCI think a ton of women misinterpret patient consideration as timidity. They are so certain that they are everything a man wants and that if a man is seeking anything from her he must want everything. Often that is not the case. Often you can see potential in a woman but you need to interact with her more and observe more to know if you are actually interested in pursuing something more meaningful. There are many toxic women and the only way to vet them is to take them out since that is the only way they want to engage with men. The problem with that is they are trying to force a context that isn’t necessarily there. If they think you are there to woo them when in reality you are there to become more familiar and decide if you will want to do that, it is very easy for them to misinterpret everything you show as weakness.
Daniel M
2024-07-12 23:46:02 +0000 UTCAds?
Kevin Pereira
2024-07-12 23:24:18 +0000 UTCActually, one of the MAIN reasons I'm paying for your Patreon is to AVOID these embedded ads -- ESPECIALLY the ones about "skin care products for men". And to preface it with "the days of sneakily borrowing your girlfriend or your sister's skincare products are over" is SO antithetical to the REST of this week's message justly berating "a society of weak men".
Joseph Omega
2024-07-12 23:18:43 +0000 UTC
