Very early thoughts on HUE?
Added 2025-07-05 16:00:10 +0000 UTCHello!
Just wanted to allow for some space to get a feel for what you think of HUE so far? Anything sticking out that you enjoy or that can be improved, this is the space to make it known to correct course before I get too deep into what's to come. I'm enjoying what I've put out so far, but just wanted to get opinions if you have any.
Ok, thanks, appreciate it.
NTL
Comments
I agree on the timeline. I find myself going back and having to reread to remember when different things happened.
Zachary Ortega
2025-07-10 15:08:46 +0000 UTCYour thoroughness is appreciated 🫡 I think your point on timeline is especially poignant for future chapters, I'll try and clean that up when I find time. Other bits might be character quirks that will better explain themselves when more story comes. Silent Scream will have more nods to it over time, but I may try and backfill it as well. But it's years gone. 12 years gives people time to come to terms and think of it as a past tragedy more than a event they're living through
Nazer The Lazer
2025-07-06 03:49:27 +0000 UTCI have lots of thoughts. I can repost this in discord as it's kinda a lot and to give space to respond with more clarity I've noticed that things sometimes speed up at varying speeds amd it feels strange and unnatural. Pinn is clearly more socially awkward then a hardened man. It makes little sense for him to be warming up to Sami so quickly. I understand Sami having an infectious personality but if pinn is a truly grumpy man, it would take 6 months before he'd warm up. I think it's better to emphasize how awkward he is rather then grumpy. If your not going that route then lean into the Rockwell half of his personality more. He can still get overwhelmed by Kelly (since I'm pretty sure he likes her) but he shouldn't give in to Sami. The baiting, the pushing, ans stuff shouldn't work until the end of the week pr something. Unless they're pushed into some kind of stress bonding moment, pins shouldn't really be opening up to Sami (or around). TL;DR Sami and pinn are moving to fast and it doesn't make sense for the way these characters have been laid out. The other thing is the back and forth, time skipping, and stuff us getting hard to keep track of and we're only 12 chapters in. I think it's a great story telling tool but there's quite a few perspectives to keep track of and it's starting to get muddy. I think it's worth it simplify the skipping around some how. In one book I read a while back each chapter was named after the characters perspective. So if we were reading from the mc then it would be titled the mcs name. I think in this case it would be useful to name them things like 《 pinn - prescream - year/ day 》to help us keep track of the time-line. It could be modified to accommodate the different organizations, histories, characters, teams, and stuff. I know the chapter names tie into the plot and are very important so for the by chapter updates and stuff the naming scheme can be in chapter at the top. TL;DR The story telling is cool but messy and needs some way of navigating and building a time-line for readers I also think the way the characters interact about their powers is confusing. Some are secretive while others are very open. While I understand that's human nature as some are very open and others are more closed off - it feels like (especially after something like the scream) things would be very public. HUE and EUE are the start of that but it feels like there should've been some kind of public response to the awakened. Some kind of public adress from the powers that be as the scream is treated like some kind of natural disaster. Some one in power should've said something and I think it would be great as a follow up to the first chapter. Or something people often quote. It feels very strange that there's a lack of a call to action. Like I get suspense and mystery but it feels more like avoiding than world building. Like this thing happened and is central to the story but no one really responded to it and it deeply affected people and the world, but like it's not that serious. Like a teenager running away at the end of the conversation with a bombshell like im pregnant or something. TL;DR What's up with the way people interact about waking. Why hasn't there been a call to action or some kind of adress from the powers that be? Why is the silent scream so impactful but also mostly a tabo topic. People were very loud about covid - why not this??
chewy dewy
2025-07-05 23:28:18 +0000 UTC
