Totagi's War (Patreon Contributor Omake #1)

You are Totagi Kaneze. You are a chunin of Konohagakure. You are the most sensible member of the former genin team 24, led by jonin Hoheto Hyuuga. You are the most promising medic-nin Konohagakure has produced since Shizune-sensei at least, no matter what that old hag Tsunade claims about Sakura the thief.

Alongside your dear friend Takeo, the charming and polite Neji Hyuuga and the moody Sasuke Uchiha, you contributed to the fall of Otogakure, as an elite group led by Jiraiya of the Sannin disposed of Orochimaru the Traitor. Prior to that mission, you served with distinction in ridding Biari Village of Orochimaru’s Plague, as Tsunade has dubbed it. You performed so well, in fact, that Tsunade saw fit to take you under her personal tutelage.

To be a personal apprentice of Tsunade, the Slug Queen, is a tremendous honor. Her reputation as the greatest medic-nin to ever walk the Elemental Nations is unassailable and her first student, Shizune-sensei, is responsible for the leaps and bounds by which your own healing ability improved ever since you started learning under her. However, precisely because you’ve studied under Shizune, you feel very confident in saying that Tsunade is a bad teacher and a worse person.

She’s a mean shrew who doesn’t teach theory properly and whose solution to nearly every problem she encounters, whether it's medical or something else, is brute force. Whenever you, or anyone else for that matter, dare disagree with her, her first instinct is to shout her opposition down. Only through continuous nagging persistence can anyone pressure her into actually reconsidering her position. When she then, and this happens often enough for you to have noticed the pattern, has to admit her mistake, she simply shrugs things off and pretends the end result to have been a shared accomplishment.

And all of that is on top of her continued, horrible insistence to keep comparing you unfavorably to Sakura.

It’s been just over a week since you returned from Oto and you are getting closer and closer to the end of your rope. What little you’ve learned over the past week has been in spite of, rather than thanks to Tsunade. She simply refuses to accept that you’re not an ‘intuitive’ healer, as she calls it. Or, more accurately as far as you’re concerned, that you’re not a sloppy hack who skates by on chakra control and gut feelings.

Shizune-sensei and you are both far more studious and methodical in your approaches. Unfortunately, the sensei you actually enjoy learning from is currently out of reach, as she runs the emergency hospital that’s been set up at the Kumo-front. Which has left you as Tsunade’s unwilling and unwanted right hand. Unwilling, because she treats you like her personal aide who has to handle the minor menial tasks Tsunade doesn’t wish to concern herself with. Unwanted, because Tsunade doesn’t hide that you’re a distant second (third) choice to her.

Still, even as you rush between charts, your own patients, instructing the nurses, surgeries and ‘learning’ from Tsunade, there are moments of joy to be had. It’s in the gratitude in your fellow Konoha-nin’s eyes when they wake up after losing consciousness in the field or after going under general anesthesia before surgery. It’s in the admiration of the lesser med-nin working at the hospital, as you catch a mistake or offer them some quick advice when they’re stuck.

You’re experiencing one of those moments right now, as Okimi Hyuuga stands in front of you, holding a deep bow as she continues to thank you effusively for your excellent care.

“-continue to serve Konoha thanks to your excellent service. I remain in your debt and look forward to being able to repay you for your exemplary care at some time in the future.” The only slightly older Hyuuga woman finally finishes thanking you, rising up out of her bow without a hair out of place.

She’s been bedridden for the past three days, following the long surgery you personally presided over to save most of her bowels as well as her ability to bear children in the future, should she wish to. Still, she looks unperturbed and ready to take part in a formal tea ceremony at a moment’s notice. Hyuugas.

Still, come to think of it, there is something she could do for you.

“Actually, Hyuuga-san, with things as they are, there is perhaps something you might be able to do for me.” You admit gently, glancing away for a moment to appear appropriately bashful. It won’t do to seem conniving or demanding, but she’s a woman only a few years older than you and, as she’s told you over her past two check-ups, with an arranged marriage waiting for her.

Bashfulness is most likely to get her (eager) cooperation.

Okimi doesn’t answer immediately, those peculiar eyes her bloodline provides her with looking at you taxingly for a long seconds. Finally, she seems to soften slightly.

“If I can be of service, Kaneze-hakase, I will do what I can for you.” She replies kindly, or as kindly as a Hyuuga allows themself to be in public, at least.

“Well, you see,” You start, hemming and hawing slightly as if looking for the right phrasing, “I was wondering if you have any news or any idea about how my former jounin-sensei, Hoheto Hyuuga, is doing? I was deployed elsewhere when our forces were sent out so I was unable to get in touch with him before he left for the front.”

The Hyuuga woman smiles politely, even as a faint shadow falls across her eyes at the mention of your sensei’s name. That’s unfortunate, as it might make things just a bit harder. But if you can at least figure out the reason for that shadow, whether it’s disapproval over Hoheto’s relationship outside of their clan, jilted feelings or something else entirely, you might still salvage the second part of your request.

“Hoheto is also deployed at the Kumo-front. From the last I heard of him, he was serving well.” Okimi offers you, her voice lowering just so as she speaks your former jonin-sensei’s name. Well then… You can work with that.

“Oh good!” You proclaim with exaggerated relief, sagging in place for a moment before tensing once more. You are by no means the finest actress, but years spent playing on your friends’ heartstrings have left you with wiles few expect from a medic-nin with no training for covert operations.

You’d have to be blind not to notice the way Okimi picks up on the tension that ‘returns’ to your form. Now you just need to firmly grip your skirt’s brown fabric in the previously unclenched hand resting on your hip and…

“Was there something else, Kaneze-hakase?” She prods you gently, actually approaching by a half step, her voice lowering slightly as she offers you the opportunity to confide in her.

“Well…” You hesitate, counting the seconds in your head to make sure you don’t rush things right at the end, “Perhaps, if you wouldn’t mind, I was wondering if you also knew anything about the whereabouts of Neji Hyuuga? We were working together shortly before the war and he saved my life at one point. I would have liked an opportunity to thank him more properly, but, again, with the war…”

Your feigned blush comes surprisingly easily, as you avoid Okimi Hyuuga’s gaze. She’s not a particularly close family member of Neji, but she is, nevertheless, a family member. One who can’t hide just how intrigued she is by the morsel you’ve just offered.

The smile in her voice is audible, pride the dominant emotion as she answers you, “Cousin Neji is also serving at the Kumo-front. I actually briefly spoke to him the day before my injury.”

Her voice hitches slightly at the mention of her injury, her mental wounds clearly not as patched up as her physical ones just yet, but she rallies admirably after a moment. The promise of a tasty morsel of gossip tends to do that to people, after all.

“I will be returning to the front with a group of other recovered shinobi tomorrow, Kaneze-hakase. If you wished to send Neji a letter, to thank him personally, perhaps I could deliver it for you?” Okomi offers, tactfully avoiding the minor detail that said letter absolutely wouldn’t make it into Neji’s hands without being read by her.

Fortunately, the conversation is proceeding according to plan. Thus, your answer is perfectly humble, polite, proper and, crucially, believable, “Oh no I couldn’t possibly!”

Your denial is just shy of scandalized, that earlier blush proving remarkably stubborn, “It wouldn’t be proper for me to write him out of the blue. I wouldn’t want him or anyone to get the wrong idea.”

“Of course,” Okomi Hyuuga accepts immediately, though she does a poor job of hiding her disappointment, “Though I will make sure to inform him of your gratitude, Kaneze-hakase.”

“Oh would you?” You beam, ‘forgetting’ propriety for a moment as you gratefully grasp Okomi’s hands, “That would be so kind of you!”

“Of course, Kaneze-hakase, it will be my pleasure. It is nothing compared to the service you have done for me.” Okomi accepts, as you release her hands.

Two minutes later, Okomi Hyuuga is on her way home for the day, enjoying at least a day of proper home rest before being sent out into the meat grinder again in the morning. It’s an awfully direct move, setting out bait like this, but coyness and shyness have served you poorly in the past. Perhaps being just a touch more overt might yield better results.

BREAK BREAK BREAK

By the time you make it out of the hospital and to your newly-acquired apartment - because much as you love your parents, you can’t deal with the smell of barbeque day in and day out after spending nearly all of your waking hours in a hospital - the sun has long finished setting. You could just Body Flicker home, of course, but you aren’t one of the nuts who abuse that notorious technique at will. Instead, you appreciate the brief, quiet walk for what it is.

An opportunity to unwind and to let the evening’s mild breeze blow your worries right out of your head. Just racing home directly from your place of work will just ensure that you’ll carry the stress and the thoughts of the hospital with you. It’s far better to take these ten minutes to let it all out. 

Now if only Tsunade wouldn’t be such a raging bitch, then you wouldn’t actually need to unwind in the first place. But you’re not going to be rid of the Legendary Sucker’s supervision anytime soon, so turning your thoughts towards that particularly fanciful thought is pointless in the extreme. Instead, you should focus on what you can control.

You’re not in the mood to study, your academic energy quite exhausted for the day. You could do with some social time, but with Suro, Takeo, Hoheto and Shizune all out of the village and you not having a clue whatsoever where Kugi and Umeni are, that’s right out as well. Because though you could absolutely find some company in the currently barely frequented shinobi bars, you are absolutely not in the mood to go through the hassle of meeting someone new.

Honestly, you should get a cat. 

The thought strikes you out of the blue, but the longer it lingers in your brain, the more sense it makes. A cat would be perfect for you, actually.

It’ll provide sporadic warmth and affection, it won’t need much in the ways of time and attention and it’ll be essentially self-sufficient. Plus, unlike a dog, a cat won’t mind living in your apartment, as long as you have a decent cat flap installed. 

That actually makes so much sense, how haven’t you thought of this before?

Really, if you can spare a bit of extra time around lunch tomorrow then-

Something’s moving behind y-

Darkness.

BREAK BREAK BREAK

Your return to consciousness is surprisingly painless, lucidity coming to you smoothly. You’re not tied up, hands instead resting in your lap. The chair you’re sitting on is actually comfortable, with proper cushioning. You aren’t cold or wet. The lighting isn’t harsh, but rather perfectly normal, provided by a ceiling lamp that bathes the room you’re in with yellow rather than painfully bright white lighting.

All of this you take in immediately, before you’re even properly processing the room’s contents or its other occupant. Because you are sitting in front of a desk, in what is clearly a personal office. As for the likely owner of said office… Danzo Shimura sits on the other side of the desk, staring at you silently as he waits patiently. Perhaps for you to regain your bearings properly?

If that’s his purpose, then he’s managed it, but you don’t particularly enjoy everything you discover. Because whilst you’re free to move and clearly haven’t been treated particularly harshly, the way your hair falls down the back of the chair to brush the floor makes it very clear that your hair needles have been removed. You don’t even need to check to know that your other weapons have likewise been removed. At least the bra you chose today doesn’t have a wire. You don’t want to imagine how far they’d have gone in disarming you otherwise. 

Examining Shimura’s desk, you notice a few pencils. Not particularly wanting to spend an absurd amount of time on haircare when (if) you make it home, you slowly gesture towards them.

“Do you mind?” You ask, gesturing from the pencils to your hair and back again.

“You can,” Shimura allows, before one hand disappears under his desk, “However these might be more to your liking.”

With an easy move he places a small bundle consisting of your hair needles, pack of shuriken, spool of ninja wire and two kunai on top of his desk. Surprised, you glance from your weapons to the elder and back again. Fortunately, you don’t need to ask for an explanation as your question is evident enough.

“We merely disarmed you to avoid any unpleasantness upon your initial awakening, Kaneze-hakase. Now that you are fully lucid and aware of your situation, you are free to arm yourself once more.” Shimura offers, leaning back in his seat patiently as he clearly waits for you to do so.

Happy for the comfort and feeling of safety your weapons provide you, you don’t hesitate to re-equip yourself. Your hair takes a second, but over the years you’ve become quite adept at handling your enormous fiery mane. Soon enough, you’re ready to devote your full attention to what you can already tell will be an interesting conversation.

Pleasant, wanted, safe? No. But interesting.

“To what, or to whom, do I owe the honor of this conversation, Shimura-sama?” You ask politely, not wanting to beat around the bush and hoping to at least get some form of information before the elder in front of you firmly takes control of the conversation.

“In short, to yourself,” Shimura replies, pausing for a moment, before seemingly deciding to expand upon that annoyingly brief answer, “The longer answer is surprisingly layered and will sidetrack us needlessly. I am hoping to be open and clear with you, but this will go more smoothly if you keep any questions for later. Much as I’d enjoy taking my time with this, the simple fact of the matter is that my time is a precious commodity. As is your own, I imagine.”

Well he hits the senbon on the head there, something you’re more than willing to let him know.

“Absolutely.” You scoff in agreement, more than willing to let some of your tiredness and annoyance at the world leak through in your answer.

“Very well.” Shimura nods, pulling out a manilla folder from somewhere under his desk and placing it between the both of you. He keeps one hand on top of it, the folder still closed for now. Your curiosity peaked, you can’t help but lean forwards slightly.

“Tsunade has taken you directly under her wing, following your return from Biari and Otogakure. She has little praise for you and you, in turn, appear to be quite frustrated under her tutelage.” Shimura informs you, leaving you to stare at him coldly even though you absolutely want to know just how much and to whom Tsunade has been slandering your name.

“Yet from the reports I’ve had compiled, your results appear to be perfectly in line with expectations. Your rate of failure is lower than the norm, your number of patients treated per day is excellent and those patients that have anything to say about you all speak of you glowingly. So, tell me, why does Tsunade seem so frustrated with you and why do you disdain her badly enough to not even try and hide it from me? I promise you that your answer is relevant to the… assignment, I am considering you for.” Shimura continues, hand tapping meaningfully at the manilla folder that still lies closed between the two of you.

You let out a frustrated breath, not particularly wanting to get into this too much. But then, from your limited previous interactions and what little you’ve gleaned of Shimura through Takeo, this is one of the few people in Konohagakure who might actually get you out from under Tsunade’s thumb. The Hokage, her former jounin-sensei, definitely won’t be the one to come to your rescue, after all.

“We have different approaches to healing. Tsunade has an absurd amount of chakra control and great instincts. In truth, she only needs one or two techniques, which she’s mastered beyond what anyone without freakish control could ever hope to match. Because of this, she’s lazy. She doesn’t make a surgical plan, she doesn’t look for the best surgical plan, the least invasive method. She doesn’t consider long-term repercussions, or the stresses repeated forced healing places on the patient. If a patient is unfortunate enough to be repeatedly treated by Tsunade for severe injuries in the same area, they’ll come out the other end drained of their vitality. Because her solution to everything is simply brute forcing the body’s natural healing. That isn’t something you can just keep doing to a person without them having to bear the long term repercussions!” You begin to explain, only to devolve into an increasingly angry rambling, as you get further and further into your intrinsic disagreements with Tsunade’s approach to ‘healing’.

“She’s not entrusted me with the secrets of that fabled seal of hers, but if it works like I suspect it does, then that youthful appearance of hers is a surface-level deception and nothing more. She has no patience or foresight and simply telling me to ‘let my chakra guide me’ doesn’t teach me anything! How Shizune-sensei has managed to retain her scientific curiosity under that hag’s teaching is a mystery to me! That Tsunade has managed to make everyone in the world fall for this delusion that she’s some kind of innovative medical genius is the greatest con in history! If-” You continue, now openly raving, as frustrations which started accumulating the moment you had to work under the woman in Biari, only to build increasingly swiftly as she started ‘teaching’ you directly, come pouring out.

You don’t even get to delve into the matter of Sakura, which is a whole other can of worms, before Shimura cuts you off with a sharp cut of his hand, “Enough. You have made your point, Kaneze-hakase.”

Maybe you feel just a little bit embarrassed as you fall silent. Still, he asked and with everyone you could reasonably complain to out of reach, you can’t be blamed that your venting got slightly out of hand towards the end there.

You sink back into your chair, waiting quietly as Shimura clearly has to gather his thoughts for a moment, following your diatribe.

Finally, he speaks once more, “So you have a more studious, methodical approach to healing then Tsunade, then?”

You simply nod.

“You place more value on the long term impact of your work?”

You nod once more.

“Have you ever given thought to using your techniques to improve, or enhance, your patients? Rather than simply healing them?”

You n-

“I’m sorry?” You ask, hurriedly affecting a slightly affronted expression. Unfortunately, you don’t think he’s buying it.

“Have you ever given thought to using your techniques to improve, or enhance, your patients? Or towards improving or enhancing yourself, for that matter?” He asks you again, more insistent now, as his sharp eye pins you in place.

You want to avoid the topic, but something compels you to speak honestly, “J-just theoretically. They were closer to flights of fancy than any real concrete thoughts. I-It’s not something that could ever become concrete without subjects or a proof of c-concept.”

“And if you were to be provided with subjects?” Danzo asks you, your butt glued to your seat as your spine becomes ramrod straight, “If we were to give you the opportunity to prove that you can be more than what Tsunade is trying to make you?”

“Then… I might have some ideas.” You admit, sagging slightly in place as Danzo finally breaks your staredown to look at the folder on his desk once more.

“Very well. I assume it goes without saying that all of this information is highly classified?” He asks, leaving you little option but to nod in agreement.

“Good. Then we begin.” He says, before finally turning the folder so that it’s facing you, before he flips it open.

You need only a single look at its contents for your jaw to drop.

BREAK BREAK BREAK

In person, the corpse is a lot more intimidating than it was on paper. You’re hesitant to touch it, the trauma inflicted in its slaying already having caused ruinous amounts of damage that make your odds of achieving any major breakthroughs vanishingly small. And yet…

Gently, you reach out for the head, hoping against hope that, perhaps, through some astronomical oversight, the greatest prizes of them all haven’t been claimed yet. You open the eyelids at the same time, only to be met with, as expected, empty cavities. Unfortunate.

You’re hardly surprised of course, as you stare at the ruined face of what must once have been quite a handsome young man. An eye transplantation is an extremely basic procedure, at its core. There’s plenty of ways to botch it, to make the end result painful or draining or constantly-active, of course. But the core premise isn’t particularly complex. It’s not something Danzo needs you for. With your loyalty and secrecy likely not as secured as whatever other assets he has at his disposal, it makes sense that he’d grab the low-hanging fruit before including you.

Still… Even if the remains of Orochimaru and Itachi Uchiha - and isn’t that a horrifying thought - are ruined and frankly don’t even consist of a single contiguous piece anymore, there has to be something you can learn from this. If Danzo is to be believed, the Hokage and the remaining Sannin believe that the corpse was destroyed once they were fully confident that Orochimaru was truly dead.

Which means you’ll have all the time you could ever hope to ask for, thanks to Danzo’s influence. Because even Tsunade can’t countermand an order for you to serve as the venerable elder’s personal attendant and physician. But if you don’t book at least some progress over the next few days and weeks… You’re not sure you want to test just how far Danzo’s patience stretches.

At least you have rest and privacy and all the tools you could hope to ask for. The secret laboratory you’re standing in, hidden within the Hokage monument, holds tools and books that match every demand you’d made. At this point, if you can’t figure out even a single one of the secrets Orochimaru’s corpse surely holds… Then that would make Tsunade right about you.

That is not an option.

So, you have to start somewhere. And of all the things on the corpse that catch your attention, the one that draws you in the most is that curious seal tattoo hidden under the hair, behind the ear. It’s damaged, of course, like everything is. But it’s just a single tattoo, even if in your inexperience you ruin it, that shouldn’t impact the rest of the corpse too much. And if you do figure out something new… that’ll buy you a longer leash at least.