Oh Honey

The shrinking virus pandemic started a few days ago, everyone was freaking out, the world tried to take the same practices we used during the Covid pandemic.

Somehow it felt like social distancing isn’t enough, and the media kept scaring everybody, telling terrible stories about people who got infected and crushed on the street like ants, your wife freaked out about it, she kept telling you that you both must stay at home and not get close to anyone until the pandemic will pass.

You’ve stayed home for months and it drove you insane, then the media announced that formally only men are vulnerable to the shrinking virus and there’s no evidence that women can shrink by it, you hoped that it would calm your wife now but she was still in panic.

“We can’t continue living like that, we will have to go out eventually”, you told your wife one evening.

“There’s no way I’m risking it, you can’t go out, it’s too dangerous”, she said in an impatient tone.

“They say you can’t get infected, so why don’t you go out to buy some groceries? I can’t continue eating tin cans, I need proper food”

“Ugh, ok… I’ll go”, she stood up and wore 2 masks, a plastic face protector and rubber gloves, then went out for the first time in a long time.

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She came back with many shopping bags filled with groceries, placed them on the floor in the kitchen, “we must wash everything thoroughly”, she said and started removing all the protection, put it in a bag and threw it to the garbage, then went straight to shower.

“Ok sure, I’ll wash it”, you said and sighed, you couldn’t hear this shit anymore, you opened a snacks bag and started eating, went to sit in the salon and watched tv.

Few moments later you felt a weird sensation in your fingers, they went numb, you tried to move them and then everything got blurry, your head started spinning, you were confused, you stood up and took a few steps forward then you held your head and felt a weird sensation of falling down, you tried to hold something but everything kept getting bigger and bigger until you ended up perhaps 3 or 4 inches on the floor, you shook your head and tried to snap out of it, you felt like it can’t be real.

Your wife went out of the shower and walked back to the kitchen, her foot landed few centimeters away from you, you shrieked in fear and froze in terror.

“Why are all the bags still here, honey? Where are you?” She turned back, then noticed all your clothes dropped on the floor and the bag of snacks spilled all over the floor, she ran and covered herself with a mask, “honey? Honey, where are you?!” She kept looking around, checking the floor, then she noticed you.

“I’m here! Please help me!” You shouted, looking up at her.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry, but there’s no way I’m risking myself with infection”, she started raising her foot up.

You panicked, “what? No, wait, this is madness”, you turned back and started running.

She fixed the mask further over her face, “I have to exterminate you”, she said and her foot started lowering, shadow started forming around you and you kept running for your life.

But you were no match for her size, her foot landed on top of you and pinned you down, you quickly started squirming in panic trying to release yourself.

“Oh honey”, *CRACK*, she increased the pressure and crushed you like you were a random bug on the floor, she raised her foot up exposing your crushed body, “I told you we can’t get out but you just couldn’t listen”, she sighed, while standing on one leg she grabbed the gloves box and wore them, then wiped you off with a moisturized tissue, “now I have to purge everything”.

She threw your remains with the tissue inside a bag, then threw all the groceries out together with your clothes, placing everything near the outside trash bins, then took a long sanitising shower, washed her foot with alcogel and remained in lock down alone.

In a few months she will find out that it was completely unnecessary, women can’t get infected and a cure is being developed, she could just keep you safe, but she didn’t care much about it, “I couldn’t know, I did the right thing” is what she told herself and everyone who knew what happened.

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Felt like today’s part of ”Shrunken Custody” didn’t have enough action, so here’s a very short story with a cool collage I made.