Uboa - Windowless House (Deconditioning) (old version)

Hey, here is another track off All The Dead Melt Down As Rain, specifically the finale.

As the title suggests, here is the spiritual sequel to detransitioning, as it share a lot in common with it both instrumentally and structurally. Both start with soft vocals and piano, have an ambient choir buildup into noise. However, this one actually "finishes" the noise" with some big screams and cut-ups, and thus feels more complete. It's not the same song, but it's non-identical twin sister.

Lyrically, it is about the social isolation that chronic illnesses often cause. The name comes from the fact that I noticed that my bedroom window has been blacked via a blind out for a week, as my sleep cycle has been so busted that I mostly sleep during the day (thanks to POTS). It is also inspired by this cute analog horror video, a medium I have a soft spot for. "Deconditioning", other than it being a shout-out to "Detransitioning", is also a common thing that happens in POTS - you can't exercise due to fatigue, weakening your muscles thus making your POTS worse in a vicious cycle. POTS is incurable, but not unmanageable, but when you are in a deconditioning cycle (like myself right now) it can be very, very difficult to manage - even on medication. It sucks.

BTW, these are penultimate mixes, and likely will have some small adjustments for the release version. However, compositionally, they are essentially complete compositionally and performance-wise. Junk percussion was again performed by Lulu. Mix notes are welcome!

Lyrics:

I saw a ghost and it was me
It’s only ever always me
No one else exists
Only shadows in peripheral vision
Puppets of meat and brain
I wish the Other could reach out
Either with knives or with love

I am so tired

I am so, so tired

I am so scared of death