Uboa - The Woman Does Not Exist (WIP)

Here is a WIP of a song written around the same time as Impossible Light (2018). I recently made a second attempt at recording vocals and gave it a complete remix. An older mix was posted on soundcloud years ago, where my vocals were only scarcely in key.

I am really happy with how this song is turning out, but it still think I need to push myself further as a vocalist and mixing engineer. The song is in B minor, so I have to sing at the very bottom of my range, which isn't my favourite thing to do. No download as this will be canonically released in a record. Title is a reference to Jaques Lacan, who I was an avid reader of back in 2018.

---

(CW: Sex work, Drug Abuse, Suicide, Eating Disorders)

It's an industrial (nu-)metal song, taking cues from deftones, ada rook, bjork, sewerslvt (it has breaks) and isis. Very little noise, and even has a pop-like structure. The lyrics are below, and detail a fictional character a Hikikomori camgirl and her ex-girlfriend, who passed away. It is however based on what I was going through in 2018.

---

I have a latent fear

Of seeing you watch me stream

Without some sense of loss 

Once more I see the sun rise 

As I sleep

I feel more lonely 

When everyone sees me

Crawl like a cockroach on the floor

Unread books and rotting food

A human cumrag forced fem hole

Too depressed to cam 

or even move

The prettiest girls

Are the ones that cry the most

The prettiest girls

Are the ones that give up on hope

Shut up

And disassociate

And smile

And cut the phone cords

And black out the windows

Because there’s no-one worth knowing outside

I gave her more love

Than all the world combined

But she did not love me

As much as ketamine

And suicide

The prettiest girls

Are the ones that cry the most

The prettiest girls

Are the ones that give up hope

The prettiest girls

Are the ones who are tapeworm hosts

The best relationships

Are the ones that just do not work

I love the way

The camera

Blurs your image

Like light refracted through rain