In The Beginning Was The Word
Added 2018-12-17 14:15:12 +0000 UTCmy psychoanalyst said that “we need
to build you a body”
just before coming out
“coming out” is almost accurate,
but before I did there was no in/out or exteriority/interiority
just This
an unending suffocating godhood
the Male was everything quite literally
yet it is maternal,
a womb of body hair and shoulder blades
it was lonely being an organelle
we figured out a method for
making everybody else exist
using words as a razors
but also with literal razors
I am no longer afraid of hell
just “the Other”
as a singular they
sometimes I fall in love with them
when they are not killed by the sign, but
often I am afraid of them and
they extend out like the totality
of every wireless network linked as one,
unbirthing
primordially homeless, I don’t
need to return
to any particular
space
as long as there is one I can hide in
my analyst (a one of the many-faces
of the boneless god of extended flesh
barely kept at bay by a paltry fence known as
he pronoun “she”) calls this schizophrenia
I call it mitosis
I am so sick of being alone, yet
every lump of flesh I excise from myself
rots away instead of becoming a friend
(typos/punctuation fixed 2023)
