Half-step

You know that feeling where you think there’s another step, but you have hit the level ground, so for one stride, you’re trying to walk through the ground?

Yesterday I sent through some ideas for this week’s gargle stories through to the Gargle WhatsApp Group (me, Good Luck Christopher and Ped the editor), and got a “this week’s off” response, and then we swapped a bunch of Christmas pictures of their adorable children and mine and then I was like… wow. How did I not know I had a week off? I assume we spoke about it at some point and I forgot to write it down so it evaporated with the dawn. That sounds like me. I’ve had to put into my calendar recurring events that say “contact x” so that I remember to stay in touch with the people I objectively love and value because I don’t know how to remember to do that incredibly vital emotional work of translating my regular fond thoughts of various friends into actually remembering to send a message or a letter. I have a friend who sends cards. CARDS! Just to say he’s thinking of you! What wizardry. What incredible kindness! Cards.

Anyway, I always feel like this pre-new-year gap I come up against my less admirable qualities as a human, maybe because I have less work to do, or maybe because I’m trying to figure out what to resolute for the new year, or at least what personality baggage I can try to cut loose as we go over the artificial bump into January. Or “So-called ‘January’”, if you don’t believe in the modern construct of months and years.

I’m going to take today and tomorrow completely off * because I don’t have a gargle to write and record, so I will decide salon times on Thursday.

Xxx

A

* unless you consider writing this post to be work, and booking accommodation and flights for next year’s festivals and doing some shopping and cleaning and looking after the baby of course which, okay, fine, maybe. So just tomorrow off then.