Canon-Side Story: Sasuke Talks to his Guy about Vampire Gato

Here's Wednesday's thing - don't look at the date!

Another week at 70+, another Side story. This one is a cute little not!Therapy session with Sasuke's guy, taking place shortly after Wave. No worries, this guy's totally authorized to know about Sakura... at least the basics.

This side-story was voted on in a poll by the $10 Patrons, I'll be doing that weekly. Thank you supporters.

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“The blood was so thick I couldn’t see. Me, an Uchiha, I couldn’t see anything. Even with my Sharingan active, all I managed to do was memorize the shades.” The boy sits in his awkwardly large chair, across a table from an elderly man with a kindred smile. There’s two steaming cups of tea, neither are touched, and neither will be.

“That must have been demoralizing.” The elderly man says.

“No, well yes, but… It was more helplessness.” Sasuke grunts.

“That would be very much the same thing, for someone like you.” The old man shakes his head at the boy.

“It would,” Sasuke agrees, palming his forehead a bit, and giving a nice long groan, “but I knew Sakura would have a plan, and Naruto would follow it well enough it’d work. I can’t say I was demoralized because I knew we’d win, I just wasn't useful.”

“You would be surprised how much just being there can impact a bad situation.” The older man says. “For instance, what if Naruto felt the same way you did?”

“What?” Sasuke asks, giving the man a bit of a brow.

“What if Naruto felt confident you could all win, because Sakura would have a plan, and you would follow it well enough to work?”

“Uhh…”

“Just by being there, you’ve boosted morale, and Sakura has two of you to come up with a plan for, doubling your options, which in tactics is practically quadruple.”

“I guess I hadn’t thought of that,” Sasuke admits, “but I don’t think any of us were really thinking. It was a vampire in a room full of blood, throwing around a magical spear. None of us were exactly… doing our best.”

“I think you were all doing your best,” The old man denies his claim, “that your best wasn’t as good as it might have been in a more familiar situation hardly takes from that. If anything, it makes it all the more special. At least in an old man’s opinion.”

“I was still worthless.” Sasuke points out dryly.

“Everyone is worthless sometimes, that’s why you have teammates,” The older man says, “back when I was a ninja, I had the worst sense of direction. Did I ever tell you about the time Hibiki slapped me upside the head because I was following the map upside down? We had to redo an entire day’s travel, not to mention walking it back.”

“You have, but I don’t see how that’s relevant here…”

“We all make mistakes, Sasuke, the fact that your team isn’t giving you crap about it means that they don’t feel like they performed amazingly either.” The old man says with a bit of a glint to his smile.

“Or they’re just too nice to say it.” Sasuke grunts at him with furrowed brows.

“From what you’ve told me of Sakura, I don’t think she’s one to mince words very well… No, I think she would call you out if she wasn’t too busy scolding herself more than enough for the three of you.” A whistle enters his tone, and the older man takes a deep, almost wheezy breath. “I think the two of you have a lot in common, on that front. You’re both balls of nerves too preoccupied with what’s going on inside of you to dare cast judging daggers outwards. You’ll never throw a stone if you crush it in your hand the moment you pick it up.”

“And Naruto?”

“Maybe he’s too nice,” The man shrugs, “but you all survived a horrifying situation, without a prior plan, and succeeded in your mission at the same time. I don’t think anyone can truly criticize you, except you. I would suggest you stop doing that quite so proactively. It’s all well and good to be aware of your limitations and areas for improvement, but if no one else has said anything, your faults cannot be as glaring as they seem to you.”

“What if people just don't want confrontation?” Sasuke asks.

“People oftentimes speak their minds only when looking into a mirror, that much is true,” a hand lands on his thick beard, the older man’s white hairs trailing down so lengthy that they rest just above his own lap. There’s a lot of room to stroke, and he takes pleasure in doing so. “But it’s for that very reason that you cannot listen to what a mirror says back to you, especially not when you’re as adept at reading lips as you are.”

“Cryptic as always.” Sasuke grunts.

“I thought I was speaking quite straightforward, my apologies,” the man hums to himself, “why don’t we circle back to your thoughts then. What made you feel so useless, beyond just sight? Surely something else happened if you’re this down about it?”

“Well, Sakura didn’t do so well in the fight,” Sasuke says, “while I was trying not to get too hurt shambling around, she went blind stuffing glass into her eyes.”

“Why?” The man asks.

“So she could see.” Sasuke deadpans.

“Right, that is normally why I shove glass directly into my eyeballs,” The old man nods to himself, “and it worked?”

“Apparently. How am I supposed to keep up with that kind of out of the box thinking? Was she even thinking at all? Was there even a box? I can’t understand her thought processes, it makes me feel like an outsider on my own team.”

“Perhaps, that’s a good thing. Between Naruto and her, and if my memory of Kakashi serves well enough, your team needs rationality. Taking refuge in absurdity is good enough, until it’s not. Someone needs to be around to say no or you’ll find yourself starting a war by accident, and then everyone will be mildly miffed at you, to say the least.”

“And if I can’t say no to her?” Sasuke asks.

“Then we have something to talk about,” Sasuke’s guy says, “let’s focus on that, that seems important.”